From the monthly archives:

September 2009

Commemorative Dildo Making. Do I Really Need A Spare?

September 30, 2009

You Toy With Mes are lucky because you get to have me TWICE this week.  My husband doesn’t even get that! So on Monday we covered how I feel about the chin strap dildo and how it impacts our lives and our dinner parties and stuff and today I will share my opinion about another [...]

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This Is The Music I Like To Hump To

September 29, 2009

Some famous dead guy said that “music has charms to soothe the savage beast” and while I’m sure that’s true for some, I find that music often can AWAKEN the savage beast within me. The savage beast that wants to hump. I’m not sure if it’s just me, because I do love music the way [...]

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My Husband, The Dick Face

September 28, 2009

I have a confession to make to the Toy With Mes. My husband and I are obsessed with chin strap dildos, aka The Lickety Split, The Accommodator, The Humiliator, Mr. Dickface, etc. It all started after I attended an Athena party. My husband, Ken, and I were looking through the catalog and we came across [...]

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Dear Redhead, It Tastes Really Gross

September 24, 2009

I overheard the most ridiculous thing in the gym yesterday morning. Granted, I didn’t really overhear it per se, but rather I had no choice but to pay attention to the conversation since I could hear it over my iPod and the whirring of the elliptical machine. Two dainty college co-eds were chatting about the [...]

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Riding on Boys in Cars: My Life Has Come Full Circle

September 23, 2009

Do you remember in high school, you didn’t have your own house or apartment so you were forced to make Sexy Time in your car? Or in your date’s car? Or in your date’s mom’s car? Remember how much that sucked? Only you didn’t know it sucked because you probably had nothing to compare it [...]

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Having Sex While Being Pregnant

September 22, 2009

I don’t do pregnancy well. Wait, let me rephrase that. I do pregnancy well in that just over half of the times that I’ve seen two pink lines winking up at me, I have brought home a baby. In that way, I WIN at pregnancy, same way that I WIN at life. But when it [...]

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Surviving A Las Vegas Bachelorette Party

September 21, 2009

Are you fucking kidding me? I just spent four days in Las Vegas, Nevada with eleven women for a bachelorette party. To paint a better picture for you, most of the women there were from New Jersey or Long Island. Have you ever seen “The Nanny”? Picture nine of those for four days, plus myself [...]

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