According to the popular story, Lady Godiva took pity on the people of Coventry, who were suffering grievously under her husband’s oppressive taxation. Lady Godiva appealed again and again to her husband, who obstinately refused to remit the tolls. At last, weary of her entreaties, he said he would grant her request if she would strip naked and ride through the streets of the town. Lady Godiva took him at his word and, after issuing a proclamation that all persons should stay indoors and shut their windows, she rode through the town, clothed only in her long hair.
Lady Godiva had stood up for people less fortunate than her and bared all in the hope that they might find some relief of their suffering.
I had just caught a glimpse of the chicken breast out of the corner of my eye as it hurtled towards me at what seemed like a gazillion miles an hour. I was able to move oh so slightly in my best Ninja style so that it just missed me and splattered against the wall behind me. (Picture the scene from The Matrix when Keanu Reeves is dodging the bullets in slow ‘mo)
“I’M NOT FUCKING EATING IT! ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? I AM NOT EATING ANYTHING!!”
My daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing her dinner at both my husband and myself.
In as calm a voice as I could muster I said:
“We love you and we care about you more than anything in the world. This isn’t up for negotiation. We are all going to sit at the table until you have eaten everything.”
With that she picked up her plate and overturned the contents on to the floor, put her head in her hands and began sobbing. My husband got up for the third time that evening and prepared a fresh meal to put in front of her. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I had to keep calm. Meals at our house could literally go on for hours, with all three of us remaining at the table until she finally cleared her plate.
This wasn’t the first time that anorexia had paid a visit to our home. A close friend of my daughter had begun to lose weight at a frightening pace and had begun an out patient program at the local hospital. She came by the house to visit, as she often did, and it was shocking to see this beautiful athletic girl deteriorating before us. Her eyes where sunken, her clothes hung off scrawny frame. Her hair was brittle.
She was slowly dying.
Eventually, she was admitted to the hospital where she spent more than two months. My daughter was her true friend and champion during this hellish time. She had made herself familiar with the disease, reading online about the very real dangers of anorexia. She was practically an expert, and so were my husband I as we listened to her speak of the challenges her friend faced in getting healthy again.
As a result, we were well aware of the danger when when we started to notice small changes in our daughters eating habits. It started slowly, with slightly smaller portions. Snacks then became non existent. She started to exercise. She would read food labels relentlessly. My husband and I were absolutely terrified, and thus began a journey of many months that I would not wish on anyone.
It was an all encompassing hell.
Nothing can prepare you for the fear that comes with having a loved one that is battling an eating disorder. It is the first thing that you think about when you wake up, and it is the last thing that you think about when you lay your reeling head upon your pillow at night for what is sure to be a restless sleep. Without a doubt, it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to experience in my life.
I can only imagine what it was like for my daughter.
After many nights of dodging plates of food that were hurled my way, and after all of the tears and the hurt and the pain and the hugs, my sweet gorgeous daughter is OK. We may have been battered and scarred, but we all came out the other side intact. Through facing the monster that is anorexia together, we have become well aware of the pain, fear and despair that accompanies an eating disorder.
And this my friends is the reason I am posing naked. On a horse, like Lady Godiva.
An amazing, brave group of bloggers have come together to bare all in a calender in order to raise money and awareness for the National Eating Disorders Association. I am thrilled to be participating along with Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess), Tanis Miller (Attack of The Redneck Mommy), Mary McCarthy (Pajamas and Coffee) and many more.
Guys, this is a great cause, so please head over to Blogger Body Calender for a sneak peek and purchase one today.
Love,
Sandy
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
My heart goes out to you. I am so happy to hear that your daughter went through this and came out victorious. You are one brave mama too.
Thanks so much sweet cheeks
When I though I couldn't possibly love you any more…
Ahhh shucks lovah
wait…
do you actually NEED a reason to pose naked on a horse??
Naked mounting is not as easy as it sounds!
So yes, yes you do need a reason. It doesn't have to be a good one though.
I'm buying one. Just sayin'
Thanks for your support!
Now we need to drink to our nakedness!!
Wow, what a great blog you have here…glad I found your link on Twitter.
I have a cousin who has been battling this with her daughter for years…the daughter recently missed her sister's wedding because she went down the drain and ended up back in the hospital. Had a boss whose daughter battled this too.
When my 7-year-old, athletic daughter — whose BMI is so high they can't believe it at the doctor's — says "I'm fat!" to me, my skin just crawls. Doing our best to help her accept her beautiful body and eat right.
Thanks for what you're doing! What a great idea.
Only one thing could make this blog better…CommentLuv, darling…
Glad we found each other, I'm a follower now
I sincerely wish you, your cousin and her daughter all the best as she fights this horrible disease. Thanks for sharing your story.
With an attentive mother such as yourself your daughter will make out just fine
Beautifully said.
Thanks Jenny
Almost made me cry with this one. I suffer from anorexia, though the last time I actually "had" it was just before I became pregnant with my oldest. I say suffer because there is no cure to an eating disorder – it stays with you forever, and every meal has the potential for relapse, for another fight, another battle, and even though I'm at a healthy weight now, there are still days I fall back into that mentality.
Your first battle was hard won, but the journey is not over.
Your unconditional support is heart warming, and because eating disorders are not easily understood by those who do not have them.
I will definitely be buying one.
That is the most difficult part Melissa, it never goes away. Thankfully we understand this and although we live a normal daily life it never leaves my thoughts.
Thanks very much for supporting NEDA and buying a calendar!
Hello. I guess you could say I'm a new reader here. I found this blog around two months ago & I love it, but had barely had time to catch up with it, learning the ropes of the blogosphere.
Very scary thing you went through with your daughter. My poor grandparents went through it with me around 15. Some of us lucky enough, like your daughter, come out of it, and with quite a learning experience. I'm so glad she's okay now.
Much love.
Welcome LilP! Glad you found me
Thanks for your kind words.
Wow – powerful. Very powerful. I'm glad you all came through to the other side – I hope you all stay there.
K
Thank you so much for reading 'K' I appreciate you stopping by and commenting.
I've said since the beginning that this is a great project and I'm jealous to not be famous enough to be right next to you…or on the next page…or hell, on the horse would be fine with me.
I'm not in recovery from ED and my story of how I got involved with the Ed community is sort of a long one. I'm currently the VP for the Austin Foundation for Eating Disorders. About a month ago I did my very first NEDA walk.
I'll continue to fight the good fight for people who can't themselves. I feel like it's all about awareness. People just DON'T KNOW what this disease does.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Jenn B you are full of awesomeness!! Kudos to you for walking the walk. Most people don't even realize it is a disease. Awareness is everything and hopefully we can raise that and some cash for NEDA.
Thank you!!!!
I'm going to buy one. My brother's daughter went through that. He met her for lunch for a year to help her through it.
Good for your brother. The more support the better. I hope she's doing well now. Your support means a lot – thanks Fred – MUAH!
You ladies are amazing. I too suffered form bouts of bulimia and anorexia. I have been in control of the disease for 13 years now and it is a constant battle.A willful choice on my part to never let this thing control me again.Mine started freshman year of college. I had never though of how it hurt those around me; those who loved me. The disease makes us selfish and we dont think logically.I Stopped when I got engaged for fear that he would think the crazy was too much…that was after 8 years of hardcore restriction and unhealthiness.Meeting my husband literally saved my life.I am sorry that your daughter and your family had to endure the disease.My biggest fear is that my daughters will go down that path. I am hyper vigilant and aware of their body image. I tell them daily how perfect they are..just as they are. The thought of them being affected scares me to death.God bless you!
It's an extremely difficult battle. How wonderful for you that you are doing so well. Hugs, thanks for sharing
I can't even imagine the courage and strength it took all of you to get through that. Giant hug to you my friend. I am beyond grateful that you are on the other side of it.
Hugging you right back! Thanks Stefanie
This is an amazing project and I am so humbled by the amazing women involved. I will be buying one as soon as possible.
We all truly appreciate your support Katya – thanks!
Thank God you are on the path to getting your daughter well. I have a 5 yo girl and EDs scare the hell out of me. Thank you for sharing. Oh, and mind the chafing with the naked horse riding
Thanks for the tip
Just came across your blog via Late Enough's tweet. All I can say is 'wow', Your daughter is incredibly blessed and lucky to have parents who care so much about her to do anything to help her get better.
I have never had an ED, but I can see how easy it is to slip into one- just eat a little bit less, exercise a little bit more. All because society says size 0 is preferred.
anywho- great blog
So glad you came by
Thanks for your kind words, hope to see you again.
Hopefully we can all help empower those suffering from an ED with this project. Funny you mention the Vagina Monologues, my daughter just got a part in this at her University.
This was such a moving post (illustrated with such a beautiful painting). The analogy of being naked (i.e., truly baring yourself) in order to effectively help another person is so true. We open ourselves up to so much pain by caring enough to do this, but it is so worth it.
I am so glad that your daughter is doing much better and hope her dear friend is, too.
Her friend is doing amazing now, thank you so much for asking. It was getting very scary for a while. Beautiful words – thank you
When I first began working on the calendar and you shared with me that you and I share the nightmare that is watching your child suffer through an eating disorder, I can’t tell you how much it meant to meet someone who’s gone through this pain as a mother. Thank you for your amazing inspiration, for sharing your story, for being so stunningly gorgeous on your page (!) and for being you. I love you& thank you!
so glad your daughter is in a better place now. i too suffered from anorexia in my teens and 20s. i was obsessed. and posessed. i studied karen carpenter ( how sick is that), what she did, what she ate, etc. i bought the ipecac syrup. i used to get so drunk because i'd never eat before going out to party all night. someties beer was the only nutrition i got. i was so self-destructive, but hell i was trying to find some control in my life by controlling my weight so severely. i'm fine now though sometimes it's still a struggle.
thank you so much for doing this, what a beautiful concept for a fund-raiser. and may i just say you look soooo hot as lady godiva on that horse. WOW WOW WOW. i have a total lady boner for you. and i'm all over this calendar. i need a lady godiva autographed version!!!
Happy dance, knowing you went through all of that and came out the other side!!
Thanks chica for your support!! I would loooove to autograph it for you, mostly because this means we shall meet again
I can't even imagine the heartbreak. Thank you for sharing this, and for raising awareness.
Thanks for reading it Rachel. I hope you will help us support this cause. Cheers!!
You're so incredible. Each and everyone of you participating has a different reason for doing so, but you are all incredible.
Thanks very much for sharing this with me.
Oh angel, I am soooooooo proud of you and the rest of the fam! You are everything I inspire to be. Love you! Needless to say I'm buying one. Although I may keep it set to June all year long!