Check Out My Ass: A Farewell from The Redhead

Columns come and columns go. You’ve held me in your good (and not-so-good) graces since September of 2009 and it’s been a delight to horrify and spread hilarity to you, my readers, each Thursday.

Today marks the signing-off of Dear Redhead on ToyWithMe. So, I’m inviting you to check out my ass since you’ve already checked out my boobs – how does it look heading out the door?

You haven’t disappointed me…ever. My columns have been, far and wide, some of the best reading I’ve ever done – and I ain’t talkin’ about re-reading what I’ve written. It’s your twisted, tongue-in-cheek and timely thoughts that brighten my days and make my brain work, so a huge thank you for all those who stopped by and shared.

When you’re brought on board to write a column for a site, there’s always the pesky question: what’s going to work? We started Dear Redhead as a Q&A column and fielded entertaining questions from the masses (including a jilted ex-date of mine who thought I wouldn’t notice he emailed from his WORK address and a gal who couldn’t get enough back door action). I brought out your inner lesbian when I told you I’d hit for the same team if I could do Joan Holloway (the comments are masturbation material in and of themselves!) then made the shift to full-on op-ed. You asked, we answered and the op-ed format is where you really latched on.

I’ve taken on Andy Pugno and the epic fucktards who back Proposition 8. The personal stories you shared on your individual journeys and the difference in “context vs. content” when it comes to the true essence of a family just blew me away (and in a non-oral sex kind of way). You made me happy that I was a writer that day who felt (and still feels) that “family” isn’t about sexuality – it’s about a bond.

You then let me take on the incendiary issue of abortion (which riled all of you right up) in pre and post-Super Bowl posts. The bonus? I got to take a swing at Erick Erickson (who’s been subsequently named a new on-air commentator at CNN – fuck my life and everyone else’s. Holy shit – what would happen if he and Palin had an affair and produced a love child? splashing acid in my eyes). You backed me up and Erickson declined an interview because we were “pushy.” Fuck him, right and proper. With someone else’s equipment, of course. God knows, it’s not going to be his wife (whom he hopes is in the kitchen, where she belongs, making him a sammich).

As a long-time supporter of the GLBT community, we talked about the potential repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Actually, what’s to support about the GLBT community? That’s like saying I support breathing. It’s essential. I don’t care if you’re polka dotted and wear a purple tutu – if you add to my life and the community around us, you’re essential. Sexual orientation is a component of identification, not the sole means. When we live in a world that sees people as…people…instead of targets, we’ll be well on the road to working on the things that truly make our lives better. In the meantime, a special thanks to those in the GLBT community who embraced my thought process and means of messaging. I encourage you to drop by this particular post and read the well-spoken arguments by Dayna, a servicewoman discharged on account of DADT who is finishing up her legal education. It was really a privilege to have her share her thoughts.

Some of you got peeved when I took on the Catholic Church and their management of the pedophilia scandal. That’s fine. I stand by my thoughts and feelings. I’m not a personal fan of organized religion but do appreciate the ritual and the fact that some people use it as a tool to live rich and fulfilled lives. I don’t, however, think it’s an excuse for bad behavior and causing harm. Bad priest – no communion biscuit!

Over seven months of posts brings us to an end last week with a recap of why I love M-A-N (which pissed off a few commentators as they think I’m anti-feminist and encouraging bad behavior). Sad, really – men and women like came to my defense (which I didn’t need, but gracias mi amigos) while there were the few who targeted me and the ToyWithMe site as offensive. Hey – here’s the bottom line: you’re not always going to agree with what I have to say or how I say it. Either love me or hate me, as anything in between is death for a writer.

The folks here at ToyWithMe have supported writers who put out opinions that may not be popular but resonate with a certain audience. Hats off to them for creating a forum where no subject is taboo. The web needs more forums for open discourse and that’s why I’ve always loved my column here on ToyWithMe: there’s nothing you can’t say if it’s well thought-out and adds to the quality of the conversation. Asshats? Find another venue.

Dissent creates conversation. Head nodding reinforces a current line of thought. Combine the two? Oh hell – you’re on the road to hosting conversations that matter.

Since You Like My Ass…Where Do You Find The Redhead?

Well, I’m not going anywhere – you can still find me over at my main gig on Redhead Writing. Less sex, more f-bombs and a whole lot of fun. You can also drop by my Facebook Fan Page and follow my personal account on Twitter.

The folks here at Toy With Me (@ToyWithMe and Mr_Puck) are kickass folks, so be sure to follow them on Twitter and check out the columns by the other sassy and sexy ladies here each week. I’ll be poking my head in periodically to lodge a comment or foot in someone’s ass – never fear.

As I say farewell this week, I’ll ask YOU: what’s been YOUR favorite Redhead Rant here on Share in the comments below. It’s been a delight to share my thoughts, tits and well…other stuff…with you here at Dear Redhead. I hope you won’t go far, as I’ll just be riiiiiight around the corner working things Redhead style.

Hat tip/boob flash. *MUAH*

Toy With Me About Toy With Me


  1. Amanda says:

    But Red Head you can't go! We haven't made out yet! j/k I will miss your column dearly : )

  2. Well FUCK. Imma miss you.

  3. A farewell present for you:

    Thanks for the entertainment.

  4. you always blew my mind and reflected my very thoughts. especially when you took on the catholic church and fundamentalists. but also when you reminded us why men are so fucking hot and rather than trying to change them, we should just embrace their differences. my husband thanks you for that one, too. ; )

    just followed you on twitter, so i hope to keep up with you elsewhere.

    thanks for the inspiration! xoxo

  5. ThatToyChick says:

    It's been a true pleasure reading your posts – you'll be missed here, lady. :)

  6. I looked forward to your post on Thursdays. I love your style of writing and how your mind works. Great minds think alike…..hahahaha. One of my favorite post was, Why I love M-A-N. It was fantastic and right on target. But like the others have said, I'll continue to follow you at

    I'll miss you here. I wish for you only the very best that life has to offer.

  7. I'm sorry to see you go. I have really enjoyed reading your posts. Even if I didn't agree with you, you always presented a valid arguement for me to see your side of things. Good luck to you.

  8. Damn. We'll miss you here, Red … but we'll keep up with Redhead Ranting.

    By the way, I copyrighted "rant" – you owe me $643,074.19 … Cash or cashier's checks only.


  9. Wicked Shawn says:

    I am glad I started following you over at , I really enjoy it, the style is different, but as a businesswoman, I definitely glean a lot from it as well. However, there is now a gaping hole where my fiesty redheaded rants used to be. :O *sob*

  10. I hate to see the end of this blog, as it is one of my favorites. I will miss your insightful prose that includes many F bombs. My days will never be the same…

    Good Luck!

  11. I've had a good look at your ass with hours of riding behind you and it's a good one. It's a shame not everyone gets the same experience. Sorry to see this column go, I've enjoyed it.

  12. You're my favorite. I'll continue to follow you at Thanks!

  13. I clicked through, wound up here, and there's no ass-pic?

    Let. Down.

  14. You put something like that on the internet, it no longer belongs to you!

  15. Oh don't worry, Shawn. I'm delighted you found me in BOTH places! I'll have my Redheaded Fury installment up each week over at RedheadWriting. I'll look forward to continuing to see you :)

  16. I'll be waiting with bated breath for that drink, lovely! MUAH!

  17. After you stole my boobs and posted them on Facebook, I thought better of posting an ass pic.

    BUSTED, Dave…

  18. You can always catch me over @RedheadWriting. Thanks for joining us and don't worry – I drop PLENTY of f-bombs over there :) It's flattering to know I was one of your favorites…

  19. Dammit, I was looking forward to more columns. /sadface

    And the lack of an actual ass pic? EPIC SADFACE.

  20. No, no — there's no picture of my ass…Thanks for the kind words and keep an eye on that hottie wife of yours! She's a gem around here!

  21. Wookies Girl says:

    Redhead! You know I love ya.. You are one of my fav's to tweet with. Never mind when You, me and toywithme go at it. Your words will be missed here but I know where to find you.. and Yeah if I ever get to Denver.. You, me and drink are in order!

  22. wait.. there's a picture of your ass??

    i never saw it! somebody please forward it to me.

    i gotta say, i really enjoyed the "dear redhead" letters and responses

  23. And what a sweet ass it is. We shall miss your rants, snark, humor
    and insight. You have tackled many controversial topics engaging
    our readers and stirring the muddy waters as only Dear Redhead
    could. I feel honored that you were part of our amazing
    outspoken team of writers. With much love – I hate to see you
    go, but love to see you going 😉