Life is fast, and we get caught up in the web of perpetual motion. Rushing and the stress it brings can be contagious indeed, as we find ourselves even fueling the race. The fastest computer still is too slow, that traffic light is too long, lines should always move faster, and we even begrudge poor Fido the sniffing he deserves after waiting patiently for his daily walk. Today more than ever, we’re in such a hurry … our rapidity enabled by ever evolving technologies that let us mega multi-task from any location, cramming work, chores and piloting the kid shuttle here, there and everywhere into one frantic day that before we know it is over and we can’t remember even enjoying much of it.
And all the while, understated and uncomplicated, one of life’s most sublime pleasures is riding around with us, waiting patiently for us to realize and take full advantage of their fantastic potential. Our lips give us the golden and underused opportunity to slow down and enjoy a precious few moments of unfettered joy. Through these strong and sensual muscles, tender, patient, and passionate kisses can help elevate our romance to stratospheric proportions, and stop the ride long enough to get off.
If we really need a reason for taking the time for relaxed and wonderful foreplay a la lips, one big one may be the kissing ability of our lover. Although we’ve all had better kisses than others (and a bad kisser could very well turn us off of a desire to lock lips), there is no statue of limitations on fixing what’s wrong.
First and foremost on my “great kiss” checklist: there is no need for speed! If you or your mate find yourselves rushing through or even bypassing kisses altogether, STOP! Take stock of why you’re depriving yourselves of this amazing and free gift we’ve been given to make our lovemaking romantic and extra special. Few among us are not guilty of disrespecting our sex play by taking our hasty timeline of life into the bed with us. The ole “get in and get out” mentality can be hard to shed, as our busy day has taken its toll and we look unfortunately past foreplay to sex and then the sleep that our taxed body craves. But 9 times out of 10, as with penetration (at least at first), when it comes to kisses, slower is better. Start with a tantalizing tease, patiently and gently working your way into increased contact and writhing passion.
Tongue placement can be a total turn-on or turn-off, either of which can be determined by your personal preference. A partner’s lazy tongue, one that goes in your mouth and then sits idle like a piece of meat waiting for your tongue to move around it, is far from a great kiss. A slow and gentle tip of a tongue ambling across your lips before finding its way into your titillated mouth can be scorchingly sexy, while an overly anxious tongue, and too much of it, can lead to a failing grade on my next “great kiss” checkpoint: slobber.
Unless you’re into this sort of thing, in which case more power to you ‘cuz I’m not here to judge, slobber can be a definite turn-off. You can enjoy the “suck face” a helluva lot more if your lover isn’t rivaling your dog in the kiss category.
Navigation and mixing up the destinations on the flesh map are high on the “great kiss” list. Slow hands and tender lip service on any and all parts of your lover’s body are very likely to have them coming back for more, and more, and more.
If your romantic interludes aren’t living up to an A+ on this list, or a list of your own, tactfully and constructively let your lover know that you have your heart set on working toward the maximum kiss potential that lies within you both. Practice makes perfect!
Some of us use too much lip to chatter and not enough to kiss. So the next time you’re yammering away with a pal, or wasting your kisser power on complaining about the planet not revolving fast enough, let your mind hit a speed bump and think about a date with your lover and how much of that energy can be conserved toward a night full of slow, tender, sultry kisses leading to epic sex. As you later resume your place in the rat race, those magical moments will resurface in your mind and bring a wily smile for days to come.