Hookers have been on my mind lately, because I guess that’s just the sort of mind I have. Also, I always wanted to be a “high – class escort” and make a ton of money, wear sexy clothes, be like the fucking James Bond of sex (well, the female side of sex), go to interesting places, and break hearts. Instead, I’m sitting here with you (you’re in the Denver airport, by the way), debating whether or not to get Ben & Jerry’s. Mmmmm…. Ice cream….
But I digress.
From Ashley Dupré to Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl, I think we’ve been seeing a lot more of the “oldest profession in the world,” and frankly, I’m not too upset about it. Don’t get me wrong, I think there are better ways of living your life than trading exclusively on your body, but that goes for being a model as well as a several – hundred – dollar – an – hour – hooker… and aside from penetration, I personally don’t see too much of a difference between the two. Now, I don’t want this to turn into a model – bashing column, though that could be fun too; the point of today’s article is to say, “ya know, since prostitution has been around for like, ever, maybe we should stop pretending it doesn’t exist, hmm?”
Prostitutes With A Dental Plan
A few years ago, the hubs and I went on a trip to the Netherlands, and since I can’t go anywhere without preplanning like a maniac, I did a ton of research; the art, the history… and the “Red Light District.” Did you know there is a union for prostitutes over there? Ok, maybe we’re not talking the Teamsters Union with a fantastic dental plan and some big chick named “Vinnie” who comes to collect your “protection funds,” but hey, there are medical options, and that profession is a recognized part of the culture. Maybe some women are forced into that line of work based on life circumstances, maybe some choose it, but either way at least they’re not entirely shoved to the side of the culture to spread disease and possibly die. At least there’s something!
Now, maybe you’re reading this article and thinking, “KinkyJew, I know all this, and I totally agree that all people should have access to health care, regardless of profession. After all, I’m an intelligent person, and I did my own research when planning to become a high – class call girl too, because you and I are that much in synch. What I really want to know is what GOD says about my future career plans!” You make a fantastic point my friend. We should totally go out for a Starbucks or something.
God Isn’t Amused. Shocking.
You’ll be glad to hear that while the All – Mighty is none too pleased with your average street walker, He does make a bit of a distinction between a hooker, and other forms of carnal entertainment. For example, if a man can’t please his wife sexually, she can divorce him and see what the other shlubbs in the village have to offer. For us, I guess that means that if your man can’t get the job done (and you can’t find a toy on the ToyWithMe site to make your G – Spot sing a concerto), then you’re in the all – clear with GOD to get your groove on elsewhere… MAZAL TOV! Of course, you would have to be married for all of that to happen, and the whole point of this is to jet – set around the world on the arms of wealthy men. Then again, they didn’t really have “jet – setting” in the Old Testament. It was mostly dirty and smelly from what I understand… and a lot of sacrificing of goats. Seriously though, it’s amazing we didn’t send those poor animals into extinction with the number of sacrificial offerings we made back then. Frankly, the Jewish people could do worse than to offer the goat world an apology.
Uhh…. Moving on…
Sex Sells, In More Ways Than One
But before anyone says, “DAMMIT, KINKY JEW! You’re glamorizing prostitution, and that’s just down right wrong!” Yes, I do understand that the majority of women who go into prostitution are not running around living the high life, and partying like rock stars; I get that. I also get that ignoring a situation like prostitution, or, let’s just say, gonorrhea, doesn’t make it go away. I’m not saying that I’ve had gonorrhea… run with the analogy kids. It doesn’t go away, and nobody wins, especially not that lead guitarist from the Swedish rock band that you had sex with in the pay – by – the – hour – hotel. Nope, everyone loses there! You have to face your issues, whether it be as a society owning up to the fact that not only does sex sell in advertising, it just sells in general, or whether it be heading over to that free clinic to ask why your genital warts are speaking Swiss German. It’s about responsibility, people.
I don’t approve of glamorizing this profession, nor do I think it’s something I would want my child to grow up to do, but it’s folly to stand around and pretend that the people who work the sex industry are not there, and don’t need just as much, if not more, medical and long term benefits as the rest of us. I am glad to see more discussion of it in the media, but whether or not that will turn from your Friday night entertainment into a legitimate discussion of our social mores as a culture is a very different issue indeed.
What are your thoughts on prostitution? Do your views differ from those around you? From your culture? If I started a brothel, would you join me? I can pay in Ben & Jerry’s…
Possibly related goodness:
About the Author
The Kinky Jew and her husband got married last year, and live and work in the DC area with their two cats… who don’t actually work at all, but sort of freeload. KJ is a Consultant, and leads a very normal daytime job, which mostly includes Project Management, and working in a predominantly male dominated environment. The Kinky Jew also maintains a blog on PNN where she posts as Hannah Banana. She enjoys discussing sexuality, finance, religion, as well as any other topic that comes to mind.
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m in California. Legalize it. Tax it. Help us out!
Legalize it, regulate it, tax it.
Legalization means labor laws apply, workplace safety issues, workman’s comp, product inspections, minimum wage, etc. Plus it would mean we can keep those non union scum from cutting in on our business.
And that’s why I don’t see it happening, legalization means organization and power. Who wants to give your hooker power, just smack her around when she talks back.
That’s not very nice Sam.
While I’m not a fan of women having to become prostitutes I do think if it were legal they would be more protected from some of those evil , abusive “PIMPS” they currently use. As much as people want to believe it’s not happening it is from street corners to posh hotels. I really worry about some of those girls when I see them on the streets of Philly standing there offering their wares. I want to stop and tell them to be careful and make sure they know what they’re getting into. If it were legal and had rules and regulations some of those women would be much safer. I know, I know…always a MoM.
BTW…If you started a brothel the only job I would apply for would be the enforcer. One of those boys gets out of hand I’d have to kick his ass and make sure he’d remember that beating for quite some time! LOL
Sam – Not appropriate or funny.
Blowjoy – I am with you on this one.
Great article, Kinky Jew! Leave it to you to bring humor to a topic that offends the masses just by bringing it up. I file this under the same category as I do so many other controversial things: not for me personally, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean I have the right nor the moral authority to tell others they can’t. Legalize it, tax it, regulate it, make it safe.
Much like legalizing marijuana, if we were to legalize prostitution, we would take away a large chunk of the criminal enterprise, and erego, criminal action surrounding it.
Penn and Teller: Bullshit! (tv series) did a show on prostitution one season (I think 4 or 5…netflix users can access the show via instant play), and they focused on a particular “ranch” in Nevada.
Regular dr. visits and testing for the girls, they have the right to refuse any customer (and even have a special room for checking peni for sores and such), and access to all sorts of disinfectant/cleaning up stuff. Plus it’s gated off.
So. Yeah. I’m all like, “Fuck it. Just legalize this shit already.”
I leave in Nevada where in some places it’s legal and in some places it’s not. I prefer my prostitutes legal. In control as opposed to controlled.
VJJ & BJ – I couldn’t agree more. The other thing I think is that acknowledging prostitution would send a message that, while we may not “like” it, it’s a fact of life, and we value citizens and their health… not just the wealthy citizens. I know that’s a high-brow way of looking at it, but I think there’s a political foothold to be had here that just isn’t being seen.
Sam – You actually make a point. No, not about slapping ho’s, but about organization and power. When you legalize, as some kind readers have pointed out, you take away the criminal aspect, which means less money goes to kingpins and whatnot. It’s in THEIR interest that this remain illegal. After all, if your girls are sick, cold, scared, and alone, they’re not going to be as “appealing” as a woman who is healthier, clean, and sees “clients” on her own terms.
MoM – I think any real caring person does look at these girls and think, “who’s out there helping them?” It bears noting that girls like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears show us what can happen to a little girl who is viewed as a sex object from TOO early on, and pretty much has nobody looking out for her. It’s no wonder they self destruct!
NAJL – Totally! That should be the call sign: “Legalize it, tax it, regulate it, make it safe.” That totally sums it up.
TPB – Exactly. And why is it ok to ensure your health and safety in NEVADA, but not the rest of the country?
Canadian folks, what’s your take? Do we have any readers from elsewhere in the world? What does YOUR country do?!
Interesting post,
My thought is that what needs to happen is not the legalization of sex work, but the decriminalization of sex work (which are two different approaches).
The problem with legalization is that is still treats sex work as a vice that needs to be controlled. In places such as Amsterdam, sex workers much register with the police, be photographed, fingerprinted, etc.. On top of that sex workers only take home a small percentage of their earnings. Brothels can take up to 50% and governments up to 25% as a tax, then you figure in the fines, and the costs of bed sheets, soaps, etc..
The biggest issue is that sex workers in a legalized environment lack basic rights and it is more difficult for them under this system to refuse clients or sex acts. Also, to keep the licence, sex workers have to undergo mandatory health checks. While this may sound like a great idea, it actually has the opposite effect. i.e. Clients assume that since mandatory health checks are in place that everyone s safe, and therefore it is much more difficult to negotiate safe sex.
Many of us in Canada are pushing for decriminalization, which would remove the adult prostitution related offences from our Canadian Criminal Code. Decriminalization views sex work as legitimate. Sex workers do not require licences, safety is increased and working conditions are better. Decriminalization put the power in the hands of the sex worker, not the state.
Under decriminalization, sex workers are free to work on their own, in brothels (where it is much safer) or most outdoor locations. Certain guidelines are also established to minimize complaints by residents. i.e. Outdoor workers may not work near residence, school or hospital. And under this system sex workers still pay taxes, like any other small business owner.
Sex workers have the right to health and safety like everyone else and there are many who choose to be in sex work. In Canada there is currently a challenge under way to remove our draconic laws and push for decriminalization. There is also movement out West (Vancouver) to start a co-op brothel by sex workers.
So yes, I will support you in your brothel, as long as it benefits everyone – especially sex workers. Thank you for this piece.
- FireCat
Legalize, regulate and tax it. And while we’re at it, let’s get rid of those who legislate based on their own narrow minded views instead of what’s in the best interest of the greater good.
PS – I love Secret Diary of a Call Girl….and Kinky Jew…okay, I’m done.
Now I feel really guilty for not stopping thanks KJ!! I do wonder sometimes when I see them on the Avenue when I venture into the city “Where are their mothers and do they know what these poor kids are doing on the dirty corner?” “Why are they there in the first place…is it desperation that sent them there? and Where are those sneaky pimps hiding?” I just wish I could help some of them and sadly I’d probably get my butt kicked for stopping.
I say legalise it cus there is this really nice house for sale with 5 bedrooms and ohh uh yea just make it legal already
FCK – Thanks VERY much for that comment! You’ve highlighted a concept that I totally overlooked. I think you’re right in that WHATEVER it takes to make their work less a society that tolerates its garbage, I think is good. Especially if it’s self-perpetuating. If you go into the sex trade because you’re in debt, but you never make enough money to get out of debt because of taxes and costs… that’s just not right. That’s slavery.
JD – it would be nice to have a government based on what’s best for the people, and not what’s most comfortable for those in charge.
MoM – don’t feel badly! I know exactly what you mean, and I wish I could help too… the best you can do is show love whenever you can; that’s what I believe!
Maybe I’ll go by my stripper name (first pet name & street lived on as a kid), Cissy Orchard.
Peter Lincoln? I don’t think mine would work. Unless I went tranny.
Sorry that my post came off as a flippant misogynistic joke. It was intended to be dripping with annoyed sarcasm. I would love to see a world where prostitution is legal and the profession can be regulated and kept safe for the women involved but that dream crashes hard against the reality of self interested patriarchy.
S’cool Sam. Sarcasm can get lost via the interwebs. Thanks for the clarification!!
Thanks Sam, I see what you were saying.
I’m in.
Writing first sex toy review tomorrow, come by and tell me it went ok even if it sucks?
xo, Madame.
Sam- thanks for the clarification
unfortunately rhode island just took a step BACK in this respect.
I’m all for prostitution being legalized, but in light of the recent Tiger Woods revelations, it seems a bit more profitable to become a celebrity ho than a high class hooker. Captain-sav-a-ho (Gloria Allred) even works on commission — much like a pimp — to sell your story out to the highest bidder or to elicit a “settlement” from the dude himself.
Personally I am opposed to prostitution as a profession, but there are a lot of women in the profession and I don’t want them to be mistreated.
Consequently I would be in favour of decriminalisation, coupled with some regulations that provide protection for the working girls although I’m not quite sure what those specific rules should be, or how they would be enforced.
What I am certain of is that any prostitute should be able to walk into a police station and report a crime against herself without having charges levelled at her for the work she does.
That said, in New Zealand we have decriminalised prostitution and the concerns that it would lead to an increase in underage girls selling themselves seems to have been borne out to a certain degree. I guess the whole “forbidden fruits” thing has turned 14 year olds into a marketable commodity. =(
Jason, that is possibly the most enlightened opinion I have ever heard! Thank you so much for commenting! I truly appreciate someone who can say, “I don’t agree, but there’s a greater issue here.”
No person should be afraid to report a crime… though I *am* more than a little grossed out by the “14 year old” thing. Ew.
Believe me, I cringe when I hear about stories like that too.
I’ve heard of youngish girls propositioning men “10 dollars for a blow job” and that sort of thing. Gross.
Jason – that saddest part is that there is a market for “$10 BJ’s” given by 14 year old girls.
And I’m not saying that by legalizing, or even decriminalizing, prostitution, that we can get rid of that. Sadly, I think there may always be a market for “child brides” or worse… but I think by at least making it a little less “back alley,” countries can provide health and social services to adults, who may in turn be more of a help in stopping *child* prostitution. I don’t know… it makes sense in MY head.
KJ Maybe. I hope so.
Toy, yes, without a customer base there would be no girls selling themselves. That would be true of all prostitution.
Supply and demand, the basis of all economic systems.