Foreskins are coming back. Thankfully not growing back like some sort of Stephen King novel where it jumps out and attacks you and you realize that you’re stuck in some cold foggy house in the middle of Maine, but they seem to be more en vogue than 30 years ago. I’ve heard arguments for and against them; they’re mutilation, but they can lower a man’s risk of contracting HIV. Most penises (penii?) that children see in health text books are circumcised. This can… lead to confusion.
Once, in college, I was dating a British exchange student. The accent… the buff legs from years of soccer… the accent… it was all going along very well. Then, the time finally came for us to get intimate, and he pulled down his boxers.
In my defense, I had never seen an uncircumcised penis, so when I rolled off the bed screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!” it wasn’t like I had seen a whole lot of “turtlenecks” before in my life. We finally worked it out, and once I realized that he wasn’t horribly deformed or had lost the rest of it in some sort of crazy fish & chips-related accident, things were fine.
I say fine because since then, I have read articles that say that sex with an uncircumcised man can be much more pleasurable. The extol on the virtues of that half-inch of skin like it was the best thing since, um, unsliced bread. Really? I gotta be honest: it was ok. He was probably one of the better lovers I have ever had, but believe me, it wasn’t the flap of skin that did it.
As a woman, though, you may be faced with the question of what to do if you have a male child. To snip, or not to snip? That could be the question. If you’re Jewish or Muslim, the decision is pretty much taken out of your hands; it is considered a physical marker of your faith, for better or worse. If your faith does not practice ritual circumcision, then you and your partner may have at least one conversation coming up. Maybe your male partner was circumcised, and now walks around with a large metal shot-glass hanging off his dick? I really hope not because if we ever meet, I will be forced to laugh at the both of you shamelessly. Seriously. I will.
So, why are more American men starting out on the sexual playing field, uhh, fully equipped? Well, it is an elective procedure, and nobody wants to cause their child pain if they don’t have to. Additionally, though some studies suggest that circumcised men have a lower probability of contracting STDs, it hasn’t been clinically proven. Then, of course, there’s the “glam” factor: Europeans do it, so why shouldn’t we?
But, as a woman, I have to say that there were some drawbacks to dating a man who was “fully intact.” For example, I like to think that I give a pretty good blow job. I mean, how many women actually study the anatomy of a penis to get a better technique? But with a foreskin, not only is there an extra piece to my, err, puzzle, but I just didn’t know what to do with it. Not only that, but how do you really deep clean that? I mean, most men with foreskins don’t pull them ALL the way back to clean them in the shower. So how do you make sure that everything is spick-and-span? Ummm, well, you kinda don’t. Of course my boyfriend was a clean man, but it was like trying to sanitize your bellybutton: those deep grooves make it hard!
My personal vote falls very much on the circumcision side of things; not because I’m Jewish, but because I find a cut man more attractive, cleaner, and in this day and age with HIV running loose, every little (or big, I don’t judge!) advantage is a good one. I am sure there are men out there who miss their foreskins so much that they write poetry about it, but I’ve never met them. My husband has never said that he dreams at night of having an extra half inch where it really doesn’t count, and it’s my understanding that sex with circumcised men can go on for longer.
I guess at the end of the day, people will make whatever decisions they think are best. I may also have to keep in mind that if we have a daughter, she’s going to have to get a much more diverse health textbook. There’s nothing more embarrassing than horrified screams when your partner takes off their clothes, and I would really hate for this to be a two-generation thing. Maybe by the time our kids grow up, it’ll be popular again. Maybe they’ll have circumcision parties like they do Sweet Sixteen’s. Or, maybe not. I’m not even sure where you’d register for an event like that.
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About the Author
The Kinky Jew and her husband got married last year, and live and work in the DC area with their two cats… who don’t actually work at all, but sort of freeload. KJ is a Consultant, and leads a very normal daytime job, which mostly includes Project Management, and working in a predominantly male dominated environment. The Kinky Jew also maintains a blog on PNN where she posts as Hannah Banana. She enjoys discussing sexuality, finance, religion, as well as any other topic that comes to mind.
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
If you’re going to get all Latin about it, it’s technically “penes”. But penises works just fine.
Fascinating post! Very well written, too. I was sad about your conclusion, though! Leave those poor boys intact!
Surely your British boyfriend educated you about the myth that circumcised penises were ‘cleaner.’ Unless he didn’t clean under it that much! The cleanliness this is more about cleanliness than whether or not you have a foreskin. If you’re a dirty scrote than possibly being circumcised will be better for your poor genitals – but you’re still a dirty scrote and if your penis isn’t clean, it’s likely the rest of you isn’t clean, either.
I can understand that women in America find uncircumcised cocks to look different – but that’s because an unfortunate 79% of men are ‘cut’ here. It’s exactly the opposite back in Europe.
Just for the record, the HIV figures are REALLY rather sketchy – trying to apply the results of three African studies into heterosexual sex to a country in which 88% of infections are from drug use or male-to-male sex. Instead of violating a boy’s penis, wouldn’t parents be MORE likely to prevent them getting an HIV infection by recommending safe sex, the use of condoms etc.
Because if you’re circumcised or not, if you go around having enough unprotected sex, you’re going to catch something sooner or later.
Lastly, there’s the whole question of whether or not it’s right to perform surgery/procedure/mutilation (depending on your semantic preference) on an infant before they’re old enough to consent to it. Maybe they’d WANT their foreskin if they had the choice. It’s not like vaccinations, or other medical choices we make for our children. Injections are different to cutting off part of a child’s body that won’t grow back. Also, vaccinations have a statistically impressive record of benefits. The ‘benefits’ or circumcision hover around 50/50 with only a few percentage points in any one direction.
As a UK gent, this article seems bizarre – circumcision is very rare over here, but we all manage fine!
Cleanliness is not an issue, it’s easy to pull down your foreskin and clean it in the shower, and I imagine it’s routine for almost all men! Oral sex, too, should not be an issue – when aroused our foreskin retracts to reveal all the sensitivity of the glans, it’s not as if there’s some mass of skin just limply hanging there and getting in the way.
The HIV data is itself very shaky, as the excellent comment above mine pointed out. HIV is caused by a huge array of factors, and circumcision is a factor that is unlikely to have a statistical bearing on prevalence rates, indeed the US has an HIV/AIDS prevalence rate of 0.6%, compared to the UK’s 0.2% (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2155rank.html).
Huh. For some reasons this song started playing in my head:
“Don’t call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin
Over the competition, I’m towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that’ll make you call the cops
Don’t you dare stare, you betta move
Don’t ever compare
Me to the rest that’ll all get sliced and diced
Competition’s payin the price.”
LL COOL J — Mama Said Knock You Out
Thanks for some very excellent opinions and feedback. It is articles like this by The Kinky Jew that help to create open and honest discussions about the topic at hand. Although, all are never likely to agree with certain points of view, it is nice to be able to share our ideas and values.
It’s ironic that this post is called ‘the foreskin making a comeback’ when arguably, the exact opposite is happening: The CDC is poised to recommend the routine circumcision of infants and usher in another century in which the majority of boys who leave the hospital do so ‘incomplete.’
Everyone, I appreciate your comments, and please keep in mind that this is an opinion piece. Champagne, I hear where you’re coming from, and I DO want to make it clear that the HIV study WAS really sketchy. Jake, you make some good points, I appreciate you contributing your comments. My article was based entirely on my personal experience and I don’t claim to be an expert on the state of foreskins… just a fan of the organ to which they are attached.
I’m with Jake on this one. There shouldn’t be anything to be feared about an uncircumcised penis. I guess we can blame the media for not hearing about them and seeing more, but with people like Manuel Ferrara in porn you would think women would get used to seeing uncircumcised penises as well.
As far as cleaning, it’s not hard at all. I take showers with my boyfriend (from Spain) all the time and it doesn’t take him much if any effort to clean himself. Also, he’s never smelly or dirty in the slightest, always squeaky clean.
I think circumcision should be something done on a need to basis rather than being done at birth.
Your experience meeting The Foreskin was much like my own experience with The Micropenis.
Also? I applaud you for tackling this topic.
Personally, I’m on the anti-circumcision side of the fence, having been present at my brother’s bris, and permanently traumatized by the gawdawful shrieking noise he made. *shrug*
But all in all, the only bit I take major contention with is your comment, “I mean, most men with foreskins don’t pull them ALL the way back to clean them in the shower.” That’s about as offensive as Massengil’s old “not-so-fresh feeling” ad campaign, which basically implied all women are smelly, and we really need to do something about it.
Circumcision is as wrong for boys as excision for girls. It’s nothing but fanatic mutilation, really.
There’s a very cool video on the subject here:
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/163489/774135
In the first place, the REAL purpose of circumcision/excision is a blatant effort to lessen genitals’ stimulation. For men, they have to use lube and the glans is much less sensitive. From countless discussions both with my boyfriend (who’s cut; I’m not), and straight friends of mine too, they all cut boys are craving they foreskin back, drooling at what a simple jerk off session can induce on their uncut pals.
As for hygiene, I would tend to agree with mivox here — I’m pretty sure KJ’s comment was not meant at all to be offensive. Yet, it just shows how carved deep and widespread is the misconception about uncut guys being clean.
I can only second Champagne and Jake comments about HIV and STD’s.
Had he given the choice, my boyfriend would have kept his dick intact for sure. He was tripping at some point to possibly have a foreskin surgically created — no kidding, there IS such a thing! I told him it’s probably not a good idea at all. His cute weewee suffered enough damage already when he was a baby.
I hope the day comes when male circumcision is seen the same way female circumcision is seen- as a brutal, barbaric act- because that’s what it is. I hope that the communities around the world that still engage in this horrific practice can find the common sense to rethink what it is, what it was originally meant for, and see it in a new light.
And we wonder why men are such pussies these days. Well….having their penises mutilated doesn’t help.
I’ve had both as lovers and I would never again date someone who is circumcised. There’s a huge difference.
While I welcome and encourage an open and meaningful debate, I do have to take a step back for a moment and make a few points here: 1. Melanie – this is a sex-positive, and more specifically a FEMALE positive site. If you choose to use a word for vagina such as “pussy” in a negative and derogatory manner and degrade one of the most powerful parts of your body, please do it somewhere else. I don’t appreciate that here. 2. You seem to equate having a foreskin with being a “real” man (”And we wonder why men are such pussies these days”). Do you really believe that a person, their values, deeds, and all aspects of who they are and what they can do can be summed up in a flap of skin? I certainly hope not. 3. By “these days,” you imply that circumcision is a recent event. I would remind you that it is well over 5,000 years old, and was, to the best of our knowledge, started in Egypt. One can only guess why, but unless you are trying to call many men throughout recorded history pathetic excuses for human beings, I would rethink your statement. If you disagree with the practice, fair enough. 4. You seem to feel that those who have been circumcised are victimized. I won’t disagree, as that’s a personal opinion, but my concern comes in where you then state that you would, “never again date someone who is circumcised.” If they’re victims, why would you further victimize them by making them outcasts in your social circle? If this were a rape victim, would you encourage men to not date her? What if she had undergone female circumcision? What would you say to a man who refused to date her based on the fact that she “was a pussy”?
Ok…circumcision is the parent’s choice. I have to agree that cleaning an “intact” penis is probably like cleaning out a bellybutton…really folks when is the last time you went to town on that to make sure every little lint particle was out of there! Although I’m sure most men clean their penis with a little more vigor but there’s bound to be a little lint guys! Although I have never seen a penis “intact” I would have to guess I would have been as taken back as you were and probably a little more vocal about it! Every penis I have ever met has been circumcised. Now I’m not saying I’ve seen them all but I have met a few over the years.
DOM…for the record…I’ll have you know my husband’s penis is quite sensitive and needs no lube so that doesn’t apply to all men!
We are all entitled to our opinions here …I really don’t think KJ is claiming to be a penis expert just giving an opinion. BE NICE!! MELANIE…just gotta say …your comments were harsh to say the least….I for one have one VERY non” p—y” like husband and yes girl he is circumcised. I also have 3 non “p—y type sons and they are also circumcised. Yes it is a choice but when your child is born you have to decide to cut or not cut….I chose to cut. Not barbaric just my choice. Their parts are all fine. My husband’s penis works just fine …I can’t attest to that personally. It’s smooth round cap doesn’t harm the sex life at all…we do have boatloads of kids so that isn’t a problem either. Female mutilation is different. It’s meant to take all sexual pleasure away from the woman. I can assure you my husband is pleasured just fine. Never heard a complaint in 24 years! One last comment Melanie…not dating a man who is circumcised is a shame for you. Should you only be attracted to a man based on the amount of skin he has or doesn’t have? Do you make an assessment the first time you go on a date and count them in or out for the second date based on that? What a shame for you…you may be missing out on a great man. You really shouldn’t judge any man based on the size or amount of flesh…what counts is how he uses the thing…not how it looks!
Now have a good day! KJ….you article was wonderful as always. Opinions are like …well you know…everyone has one!
I forgot to add….I love the picture…how appropriate!
MOM! I’m shocked and dismayed by your comments!
Circumcision ISN’T the parent’s choice. It’s the child’s! Parents do it while a child’s helpless and too young to protest (but they do wail their little lungs out.)
There’s a difference between being medically responsible for your child – giving them vaccinations etc – and cutting off part of their genitals which will NEVER grow back. It’s amputation. You’re PERMANENTLY altering the look, feel and function of their privates. That’s NOT a parents right. Only an individual has the right to decide how they want to PERMANENTLY alter their body.
I’m sure you and your husband have a wonderful sex life. It’s a fact that circumcision doesn’t make a man sexually dysfunctional. It certainly CHANGES the way his functionality works, though – and arguably diminishes it.
It’s like if somebody cut your little finger off. You’d probably be able to function absolutely FINE with the three you have left (plus thumb.) When do we honestly REALLY use our pinky? But it still changes the form and function of your hand.
And just because generations of people have had fulfilling lives even without foreskins doesn’t make it okay to routinely circumcise kids. It’s against the law to alter the genitals of an infant girl in ANY WAY in America. Why the hell isn’t it the same for little boys?
I don’t mean to sound so forthright and I hope I haven’t offended you, MOM – but until complacent attitudes like yours are openly challenged to fuel debate, we’ll never have any progress.
Champagne you can be as shocked as you like….Circumcision is THE PARENTS CHOICE. It is my RIGHT as the MOM to decide what is best for my sons until they are 18. I decide. An extra piece of skin was removed not the whole damn penis! Now that would be an amputation. Seeing as it is a parents choice do you really think you should be so shocked and dismayed at how I FEEL.
It is not mutilation …it’s cosmetic at best. It’s extra skin period. No different than if he had extra skin elsewhere.
I’m going to have to disagree that the functionality is diminished. I guess that would be a personal thing depending on the man. Personally my husband’s is just fine…thanks!
I have to say comparing circumcision to cutting off a pinky finger is a bit over the top don’t you think?
Please don’t assume you know me…this MOM is anything but complacent! Lastly…I am a damn good MOM….so please don’t think you have the right to ever personally judge me about what I CHOOSE to do concerning my own children.
Again maybe you missed the point of the article…it was to entertain and provide a little info. I am not assuming anything about a parent who does not circumcise so please don’t assume about me!
Thanks and you have a nice day too!
<<<point of the article…it was to entertain and provide a little info.
Yes, thats exactly what is was.
Play nice, we can disagree without being disagreeable.
I personally think it should be the boy’s choice as to whether or not to be circumcised when they become adults. I’d be willing to bet there’d be damn few men who chose to do so at the age of 18 (except perhaps those who do have bad hygiene habits and suffer infections as a result?).
It is an indisputable FACT that the texture and sensitivity of the glans is affected by circumcision, and if one wanted to make an anatomically correct comparison to a female procedure, imagine a woman asking her doctor to remove her infant daughter’s clitoral hood at birth (or 8 days thereafter)… Oh! The horror!
Even though removing the clitoral hood would NOT remove the clitoris itself, and the girl would probably grow up being able to masturbate just fine and dandy, and orgasm as an adult and everything, the constant friction of her undergarments against her clitoris would definitely change the texture of the clitoral skin and decrease sensitivity. JUST LIKE what happens to a man’s penis when the foreskin is removed.
As for the bellybutton analogy? It doesn’t work. You can’t pull your stomach skin back to fully expose the inner surface of your bellybutton. A man CAN pull his foreskin back to expose the head of his penis. The bellybutton is partially scar tissue, meaning the little bitty crevices in there cannot be stretched out or pulled smooth, even if you could expose them more easily. A man’s foreskin and glans is not comprised of wrinkled scar tissue … it’s all quite smooth and/or stretchy to start with.
While it is certainly not the same as full clitoral/labial excision of little girls (that would be more like removing the ENTIRE head of the penis), it is exactly anatomically analogoust to clitoral hood removal, and also interesting that circumcision was not common outside of Jewish and Muslim communities until it was championed as a great way to prevent boys from corrupting themselves through masturbation (not that it’s very effective for that purpose
, precisely because it DOES permanently affect sensitivity.
The widespread popularization of the procedure in the US was a religious morality issue, not a hygiene/health question (except, y’know, that masturbation causes health problems like blindness, feeblemindedness, and hair on your palms, right?).
“analogous” not “analogoust” … lol
Alright, I’m calling time of death on this. I think we can all agree that nobody is going to convince anyone else that they’re right. I understand and respect both the argument for and against circumcision. MoM, I absolutely appreciate your support on this, and Mivox, I appreciate your passionate points. The horse is dead; I think we can all stop kicking it now.
We all have a right to an opinion and I can respect anyone who chooses to have it done or not. After all it does lead to something to fit everyone’s preference. Have a good night.
I really do not mean to blow on the fire here, yet, I must correct something, if only for honesty’s sake.
MOM, I won’t discuss your choices, they are yours. But I’d like to correct what you wrote: DOM…for the record…I’ll have you know my husband’s penis is quite sensitive and needs no lube so that doesn’t apply to all men!
Your claim might be right as regards to sexual relation, it is not as regards to masturbation.
Ask your husband or your sons: being cut, they most certainly use lube (or some other lubricant, even if only saliva) when they masturbate. Why? Simply because stroking their penises without it would cause a burn from friction.
Now Dom pats the poor dead foreskin and sends a kiss to the heaven of weewees. *kiss*
Dom – The frequency and enjoyment of masturbation in MoM’s family is neither your, nor anyone else’s business. I wrote an article about my *personal* experiences with circumcision. I welcome the discussion that came after it, and now I welcome everyone else to move on. Dom, by asking MoM to talk to the men in her family about masturbation, you’ve not corrected a thing, so now I pat your poor dead comment on the head, and ask, yet again, that we move on.
What’s the point of addressing a CLEARLY controversial topic if you’re going to call ‘time of death’ on it as soon as people actually start DISCUSSING it.
We come to Toy With Me to be entertained and informed, but from the conclusion of this article (in which the Kinky Jew said she’d circumcise a boy if she had one) there are many ‘intactivists’ who’d argue that the article itself ISN’T very informed.
MOM is saying that the foreskin is ‘only’ an extra piece of skin. First, that’s completely factually inaccurate. It’s there for a purpose – to protect the glans and make sexual intercourse easier. The fact that man can get along without it doesn’t make it ‘extraneous.’ Shall we remove the appendix, tonsils and gall-bladder when babies are born as well? Ridiculous.
And secondly, if we were removing a similar quantity of tissue from a little girl’s genitals, we’d be breaking US Code 18, Section 116. It’s against the law to alter a female’s genitals if she’s under 18. It’s a disgusting DOUBLE STANDARD that the same’s not true with infant boys.
And no, MOM, I wasn’t accusing you of being a bad mother. I’m sure you’re a wonderful mother. I do say that circumcising your child was, in my opinion and with a lot of factual and ethical documentation to back my opinion up, a bad decision. But that’s probably why you got so defensive. It’s upsetting to have somebody question any decisions you’ve made regarding your child and I totally understand that. I have a son myself and I HATE when other parents deign to offer me unsolicited advice or criticism.
It’s why they had to start calling female genital mutilation ‘cutting’ instead of ‘mutilation’ in Africa – because parents got incredibly offended and defensive when foreign strangers accused them of ‘mutilating’ their child.
I’m in full support of parents raising their kids EXACTLY how they want – breast feeding them until they’re four, potty-training them by letting them run around the house without diapers, teaching them creationism instead of evolution. Those are all a parent’s choice.
But whether or not to let your child leave the hospital intact? That’s HIS choice and I don’t pretend there’s any way you’ll convince me or any of the thousands of people who think that male circumcision is mutilation to think any differently.
Your answer reminded me of my sister-in-law. She was brushing her 2-year-old’s hair and he got upset. He pulled the hairbrush away and said ‘that’s MY hair.’ If a two year old can grasp that concept, I’m surprised more adults can’t.
DOM…Just for the sheer reason I can’t not answer when confronted…..asked the son who is too upfront most of the time…says no lube is needed…takes skill!LOL Son said he’s all good with his circumcised penis….he said “thanks Mom.” Just another reason for the kid to be reminded why he adores me…all thanks to that personal question!Thanks! Champagne…like you there is no way in the WORLD you’ll ever convince ME I made the wrong decision. As long as I am their mother I WILL BE MAKING ALL THE DECISIONS until they are 18. What’s right for one family may not always be right for another. It really doesn’t make either choice wrong…just different! Your comment about the hair and that a 2 yr old can grasp that could be taken as a very rude stab at me and others who agree with me but I’ll just answer that with the following. When a 2 year old tells me that’s his hair I will let them know as long as they are underage and they are my kid we do things my way! Why? CAUSE I’M THE MOM AND I SAID SO! Have a good night!
Lets keep the discussion focused on the post and not on making bad with each other. I hate it when you fight.
Would hate to have to turn off comments.
I would hate you to have to turn off comments too, Toy with Me!
MOM, I was needlessly aggressive and I totally understand why you took offense to that and got defensive. I’m sorry. I was being totally counterproductive to my cause.
I understand how a total stranger criticising your decision to circumcise your son feels like a personal attack on you and your skills as a parent. I realise that there’s really no way to debate whether or not circumcision is ‘bad’ without upsetting all the people who circumcised their kids. They’re suddenly being accused of mutilating their child’s genitals – of breaching their human rights – of making a totally medically unsound and ethically questionable decision. It’s deeply offensive to to parents who only made that decision because they’re great parents who love their kids and wanted only the best for them.
If you had been told by your doctor that circumcision was bad, I’m sure you’d have let your child leave the hospital intact. The problem isn’t with you – you’re a great parent – it’s the fact that hospitals and doctors still recommend this procedure even though it’s ethically and medically questionable.
Given the circumstances, it’s totally understandable why you made the choice to circumcise your son – because you thought it was the best decision.
It’s totally counter-productive to attack parents. You, like other parents, made that decision, just like every decision you make, for the benefit of your child.
What I’m trying to say is that there’s a growing opinion that circumcision is questionable, both ethically and medically, and parents who made that decision – because they wanted what was best for their child – might have been misinformed by the people they should have been able to trust to go to for information.
You did what was societally normal and what many doctors recommend and that makes you a thoughtful and caring parent who made the right choice given the information available to you. I’m just saying that society’s norms are wrong and that doctors are either ill-informed or motivated by money (that make $700 for each circumcision) and they ethically shouldn’t recommend the procedure. If you’d known more about the procedure and been able to examine the facts without feeling like you were being attacked for making the ‘wrong’ decision than you would almost certainly agree.
But given as you’ve made that decision, it’s entirely understandable that you feel deeply uncomfortable even DISCUSSING the possibility that circumcision isn’t ethical or medically necessary. To do so makes you question a decision you made in the past – even though you were acting in your child’s best interests when you made that decision.
Altering an infant’s genitals IS wrong – and we need to challenge people’s assumptions about that even at the risk of offending them. But the fact that parents have circumcised their kids in the past isn’t a reflection on them as parents – it’s a reflection of how the ethics and laws regarding circumcision are wrong.
We should have equality between little girls and little boys and it should be ILLEGAL to alter their genitals in any way (even for religious reasons) until they’re 18 and can decide for yourself.
As a man with a foreskin, I feel the need to leave a comment here.
Now, how I feel when I hear parents say that they own their child until they are 18 and can make any decision they want.. is confused. I am sure these parents understand that there is a line you can not cross as a parent – certain things are not morally okay to do to a child.
What I really wanted to say, is that people who argue that circumcision SHOULD be a parent’s decision, not an individuals, is that I don’t OWN my own foreskin. Having experienced the sensations and functions it provides me, it is just as much a part of me as my eye, or my tongue. It is not ANYONE’s but mine, and I find it incredibly frustrating to see people treat the foreskin, a body part I KNOW is valuable, as though it is a birth defect, or a vestigial organ.
My healthy, sensitive, functional body parts are not the property of my parents to be cut off on a whim. Now, I understand many people are okay with being circumcised, though… ultimately what good would it do if they weren’t? Considering, though, that the vast majority of men who still have their foreskins are happy to have them, shouldn’t that indicate that these men who were circumcised would probably have valued THEIR foreskins should they have been given the opportunity to get to know them? And how many people does it take to feel victimized before their voices are legitimized? I would assert it only takes one person. How dare you tell someone who feels unfairly circumcised that they are wrong to feel that way! Yet, if you listen to their perspective, you have to admit that ultimately it WAS their body that was permanently altered without their consent.
America alone sells thousands of foreskin restoration devices each year, so its not just one guy! Their victimization is REAL, whether we feel comfortable recognizing it or not.
Ultimately, my purpose has nothing to do with what has happened in the past. Its not about criticizing people for having sexual preferences, or for having the operation performed on their children, especially if they didn’t hear all sides of the story first.
No, my intention is simply to say.. In the future.. lets just not choose it for any more boys. Thats all!
Lets look forward.
P.S. pulling back a foreskin (all the way) is by far the EASIEST form of hygiene. If you can brush you’re teeth, you’re WAY overqualified… like… a rocket scientist flipping burgers.
I’m going to throw my mouth into the ring here: I’ve never understood circumcision. If a penis needed to be trimmed like an umbilical cord, would the heavens have not made it that way? Granted, I’m sporting a pair of fan-fucking-tastic breasts courtesy of better living through medicine, but isn’t the whole circumcision issue a ritualistic practice with little medical substantiation?
A) I think it’s mutilation and that most parents engage in the practice because “it’s what you do” not because it’s anything they’ve researched. Religious implications aside, would you cut off your daughter’s labia straight from the womb?
B) There is nothing sexier than LOOKING at a man and appreciating him for what he is. If you like going down, go down. Ask questions when you encounter a Captain Fantastic in a Cape. What do you like? Show me how to hold it. Trust me, gals: the guys will be more than happy to show you! Failure to open a dialogue ends more sexual relationships that it keeps going. The only time a guy really wants you to shut up is when he’s got his dick in your mouth – otherwise, ask away.
Thanks for the funny post.
I too thought that circumcision was tantamount to mutilation, and elected not to do it.
But ethical decisions aside, the single best reason to not circumcise is so you can see your boy’s face when he discovers the retractability feature of his penis.
4 year old: “Mommy! Look what I can do! The inside of my penis is purple!”
Me: “Good stuff, now go do that alone in your room.”
Routine infant circumcision divorced from Judaism and Islam began in the USA and UK around 1880, at a time when the state of scientific reasoning in medicine was often abysmal. It began because middle class parents were disgusted by the tendency of boys to masturbate. They were disgusted because Victorian propriety sought to limit sexual pleasure to marital intercourse.
Circ also became fashionable because the hygiene revolution of the late 19th century made it clear that the genitals and anus had to be kept clean. Nearly all boys are born with foreskins that won’t retract. Gradually, over the first two decades of life, the foreskin detaches from the glans, loosens up, and becomes easily retractable. Once retractable, it becomes trivial to wash underneath.
The Victorians did not take a daily shower, but a bath 1-2x a week. Hence keeping clean under the foreskin was not a given.
Parents did not like to have to inspect a son’s penis to determine his progress towards retractability. They did not like to have to teach a boy to clean under his newly retractable foreskin. This was all so blatantly sexual that the Victorians shuddered in deep disgust. They gladly handed over their newborn sons to be snipped, which spared the governess and parents from having to think about a boy’s genitals.
We now understand that it is perfectly normal for the foreskin to take years before it retracts completely. Everybody takes a daily shower, and given that shower, cleaning under the foreskin is utterly trivial. Sexually sophisticated parents want their sons to masturbate rather than commit date rape. Unlike the case 100 years ago, condoms are widely available and easy to talk about. Hundreds of thousands of circumcised American men have died of AIDS, because circ does not protect from AIDS acquired by anal intercourse or by needle drugs.
The upshot is that there is no valid medical or sexual reason to routinely circumcise infant boys. The UK concluded as much in 1950. New Zealand in 1969. Canada and Australia in the 1970s and 80s. The trade association of USA pediatricians reached that conclusion in 1975. But USA doctors and maternity wards stopped pushing circ only 15-20 years ago. And most middle class Caucasian parents are reluctant to give it up. The USA and South Korea are the only first world nations where routine circumcision is common in maternity wards. In most hospitals in most nations, having a newborn baby cut is simply not an option.
Americans are no longer the rugged individualists of the 18th and 19th centuries.In many many respects, the mass of middle class Americans are timid conformists and dread “unpopularity.” They are afraid that their boy will be ridiculed in school and summer camp for having a “weird dick.” They are especially afraid of how girls will react when he begins his sex life. Tens of millions of respectable middle class Americans have never seen a natural penis in the flesh during their entire lives. They do not want be reminded of the anteater every time they change Junior’s diaper, or give Junior a bath. So they say Yes to the Gomco clamp.
Young women vlogging onYouTube suggest that the wind is blowing from a new direction. More and more young American women are saying “circumcision is gross, brutal, and sexually weird” and “my experiences with uncut were turning points in my life sexual journey.” Circumcision flew in on the wings of fashion and can fly out in a similar way.
Actually, Consa, from your own piece, it sounds like it flew in on the wings of hygiene and cleanliness, and stayed because additional values (such as popularity) were added. Calling people names (the American middle class is “timid”) seems like a blanket statement, and an easy way for people to get out of evaluating facts. The fact is that some people see ear-piercing as mutilation, and yet I don’t see anyone on here going on and on about how horrible it is to see women with holes shoved through skin. Even baby girls often have their ear pierced. OH! The humanity! As human beings, we modify ourselves in a variety of ways, from transient eye-shadow, to more permanent displays of group affiliation, such as tatoos or brandings. Where is your epic post about the absurdity of parents who pierce the ears of little girls, or parents who force their children to be vegetarians before they have a right to choose? Why make your child do anything, for that matter? I never had the right to choose not to go to Hebrew school. Maybe I should go back to my mother and complain about how I was oppressed.
My boyfriend is uncircumcised, and, really, it’s never been an issue for none of us. Circumcision has nothing to do with being clean or not. My bf is ALWAYS clean. And it doesn’t keep me from giving head either since the foreskin retracts when the penis is erected anyway.
Personally, I think circumcision should be the kid’s choice, not the parent’s. It’s not the same as, say, being forced to be a vegetarian. The kid can chose to eat meat whenever she/he leaves the parent house. But removing their foreskin…. well, to me that’s another matter. Of course, parents should make certain decisions for their kids. Yet when it comes to their intimate parts, I think the kid should be the one who decides.
I just want 2 comment that altho I’ve had experienced both, my preference is def with circumsized. I don’t want to say all guys are pigs but I do want to say that I don’t know another person’s hygienic practices as well as my own and quite frankly I’m not comfortable being orally intimate with a uncut penis. However I guess with a condom, altho not the same feeling, can take care of that issue.
Because of how I feel towards uncut penises, I can see myself using this same rationale for when I have my own sons and face the choice whether or not to have them cut. I know I’m not the only 1 who feels this way, other ppl have their reasoning towards not liking uncut penises but the way I see it is that if I feel this way I wouldn’t some girl looking @ my sons penis that way. Just my 2 cents. Great post btw.
Well, I married a Jewish boy. And our kids will not be cut. We talked about this before we got married, and both ended up in the same place- he had never been given a compelling reason for it, they are unnecessary surgery on an infant, we had both read the 50’s ear writings on how circumcision and a Kellog’s diet prevented immorality- because of loss of sensation. I personally don’t think it’s any different than cutting the labia off of a baby girl. That skin is there to protect delicate tissue, and when it is gone, the glans dries out, hardens, and becomes less sensitive. I have been with both, and yes, it is noticeable.
Ultimately, I can’t justify it. I’m glad he agrees. His scar is visible and he has said he wishes it was no longer a practice- it’s brutal, often done without anesthesia, and a total anachronism in modern times.
Once, in college, I was dating an American exchange student. The accent… the buff legs from years of football… the accent… it was all going along very well. Then, the time finally came for us to get intimate, and he pulled down his boxers.
In my defense, I had never seen a circumcised penis, so when I rolled off the bed screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!” it wasn’t like I had seen a whole lot of “peeled bananas” before in my life. We finally worked it out, and once I realized that he wasn’t horribly deformed or had lost it in some sort of crazy hamburger-related accident, things were fine.
But, as a woman, I have to say that there were some drawbacks to dating a man who was “mutilated.” For example, I like to think that I give a pretty good blow job. I mean, how many women actually study the anatomy of a penis to get a better technique? But without a foreskin, not only is there a piece missing in my, err, puzzle, but I just couldn’t perform my favourite tricks related to this very part of the phallus…
Funny Americans. And your site highlights `favourite’ as incorrect spelling.
Also, the suggestion that uncircumsised men have poor hygiene is pretty chauvinist.
Awww, funny Brit. Can’t write your own comments without plagerizing. It’s *almost* like you can think for yourself, huh? Almost.
I’m a former dominatrix and new mom, and I chose not to circumcise my son. This post and its subsequent comments have made me a devoted fan of Toy With Me. Thank you for not suspending the comments section!
I was circumcised at 35. Vastly amusing tale to tell NOW but at the time it as a tornado of blood, allegedly dissolving stitches and not wearing underwear for 2 weeks. Mine was “too tight” ( always had been I reckon ) and was causing issues so it had to go. Told all the work folks I was having knee surgery. Two weeks off. Back to work and revealed real reason. Sympathy and tears from men, laughs from women. No further issues. It still doesnt look like mine tho
I would argue that cleaning an intact penis is less like cleaning a belly button, and more like cleaning labia. If a woman can keep herself clean enough for her partner’s up-close enjoyment, then I am confident that men are capable of the same!
My son remains intact and I actually find it more modest, during diaper changes, to not be confronted with the glans!
As a Swede all I can say is I find it somewhat funny. We have a thread over at flashback and some people (probably foreigners and people who have had too tight foreskins) argue about the benefits but for most / kinda all of normal Swedes we have our foreskin intact and rather see it as weird to cut in childrens sex organs like that.
Personally I don’t buy into all their “omg it’s so gross with foreskin” and talks about smells and shit, or that they can last longer. We who have it haven’t got an issue with smell or random crap inside the fore skin so well, enough of that already
.
. Atleast if they themself are the judgers.
Last longer maybe, but at the cost of less sensitivity in that case I assume? Probably not worth it… Most people seem to be able to fuck long enough anyway
Oh well, it has never gone out of style here anyway, and yeah, we do masturbate without lubes!! Some of us eventually 3-4 times / day (noone mentioned! ;D)
I see it as the norm to atleast keep your pubic hair under control around here though.
Another country heard from!
Well, I appreciate your input, Johan. And, to be fair, I once had sex with the lead singer of a Swedish rock group, and he had all his bits there. It didn’t really change things, but then again I’d already spent two years in a relationship with a Brit.
Maybe variety is the spice of life!
Regarding cleanliness:
Urine is sterile, and I always use a piece of toilet paper to catch any last stray drips anyway, and I assume all men do. And if anything it should rather protect the tip from picking up lint or bacteria from clothes for example. Not that I doubt that’s an issue for anyone either.
And yeah, whatever I wipe it off or take a shower I just pull the skin back, let the water flow and use a shower cream like on the rest of my body. Nothing weird there either. Guess I pull it back while wearing my bath robe to to dry it off but it’s nothing I ever think about.
I can’t see what would be so filthy about it. I’m very confident it would be one of the cleanest parts of the body if tested for bacteria. Hands and the mouth and maybe the anus would probably be the worst parts
And people does handshakes, eat with them, kisses eachother and so on anyway.
“But all in all, the only bit I take major contention with is your comment, “I mean, most men with foreskins don’t pull them ALL the way back to clean them in the shower.””
I don’t see the value in that argument, maybe it seems interesting to notice on a theoretical level for someone with no experience or knowledge of the area but how much would be enough? Why would I need to find every single wrinkle if there is one? What would be so filthy about my penis?
I don’t close my eyes pulling out my eye lids with my hands and wipe them of with alcohol every time I shower either but they seem to do just fine anyway. I’m pretty confident just stroking my fingers around and over the skin with the bath cream will make it roll around and move so all areas gets covered.
And yeah, it’s not filthy in the first place. I would worry way more about the area around the ball sack for instance, like where it meet the tighs, or behind he knees, or inbetween toes, around the nose wings, tounge, ..
I’m very confident whoevers mouth carries more bacteria when even a 48+ hours since last shower penis.
“Although I have never seen a penis “intact” I would have to guess I would have been as taken back as you were and probably a little more vocal about it!”
I find it so lol because I’ve seen pictures of both and I kinda can’t see much of a difference. Mind you they may have been erect.
Funny how someone who have never seen a natural penis concludes things about it.
“Omg, if I ever meet a girl and she hadn’t had her pieces sewn together in time for me to open her up I would so scream out of disgust!”
mom:
“It is not mutilation …it’s cosmetic at best. It’s extra skin period. No different than if he had extra skin elsewhere.
I’m going to have to disagree that the functionality is diminished. I guess that would be a personal thing depending on the man. Personally my husband’s is just fine…thanks!”
No, it’s not extra skin, it’s probably there for a purpose, most likely to protect the glans from both external crap like the lint you mention, bacteria and maybe also against scratches, violent hits and such. With the foreskin intact my glans does NOT pick up as much crap as it would without it. And I assume that since urine is sterile and can be used to clean wounds and such that any extra urine still in there would rather protect it against harmful bacteria rather than giving it something to grow in. It’s not added or unnatural skin so it can’t be called “extra”, it’s the opposite which is less..
Regarding functionality lots of cut people around here claim to be less sensitive and be able to perform better in bed thanks to being used to the stimuli on their glans day in and day out. Are they? I have no idea. Only people who cut it at grown up age will know I guess.
I do know from testing to shave my legs that that gave a totally different feeling when wearing trousers since I could feel the fabric way more than without the hair inbetween, and of course one get used to that feeling, so I doubt the penis is no different.
Sure it will still function, and maybe they can even take more stimuli without having an orgasm, but then do one really want to be less sensitive? And what about if the stimuli one feel isn’t enough?
Just think about your own clitoris and the piece of skin covering it. Is it sensitive to touch? If you had cut that skin of and it always got touched by your panties do you believe it would become less sensitive? Would you still be able to feel with it? Of course ..
And regarding masturbation I knew that one could use a lube but kinda have never needed one and can’t say I got a better experience with one, rather less since it made less tactile stimuli against the whole length of my penis vs hand with no lube. But then I understood that people without a foreskin had a harder time stroking over their glans (of course ..) so they need it to rub it against their hands instead of glans against foreskin which already move very well since you can pull it back and forth and it’s so thin.
My own thoughts are that they people who get cut really is mutilated but I doubt it affects their performance much or is a big deal. However claiming that a natural penis would be is simply retarded.
Go to europe and check one out..
Mivox:
“I personally think it should be the boy’s choice as to whether or not to be circumcised when they become adults. I’d be willing to bet there’d be damn few men who chose to do so at the age of 18″
Personally I would had wanted it cut open if it was too tight to pull back because that would had made having sex or masturbate harder I assume (no matter at what age, as soon as it was noticed it don’t seem to be big enough.) But if there isn’t an issue with that and everything works as normal I don’t see the purpose.
“teaching them creationism instead of evolution.”
lol, yeah, not much to do about the parent being a moron
. Can’t make it illegal for them to get kids I guess.
Oh hey, people have a right to have their own beliefs, and just because you disagree doesn’t make it ok to call folks “morons.” I’m pretty sure evolution is the way to go, but I don’t think people are stupid for having OTHER ideas.
“As long as I am their mother I WILL BE MAKING ALL THE DECISIONS until they are 18.”
Sounds like someone who is ok with slapping their children because it’s theirs. Or keeping them out of school because one don’t think it’s needed, or decide who they should marry, what they should eat, and so on so on.
JKH – kinda missing the point of my comments… but sure. Ok. Whatever makes you happy.
I discovered this site today and I enjoyed the articles so far very much.
I don’t appreciate the animosity between readers though… It seems that nobody will convince anybody right now.
I agreed and appreciated Mivox’s, Champagne’s and Dear Redhead’s comments, because they were very logical and very true.
There are studies that say a man loses a big percentage of the sensitivity there… Yes, he is still fine, of course he enjoys sex, but it’s not as great as it could be. If a man wants to be clean, he will be, whether he has foreskin or not. Plus there are more tricks to do during a blow job when he has it…
This comment hit the spot :
” I think it’s mutilation and that most parents engage in the practice because “it’s what you do” not because it’s anything they’ve researched. Religious implications aside, would you cut off your daughter’s labia straight from the womb?”
People should really think on their own, not just follow anything. If we women want equality (and ooh boy I hope I won’t anger the hardcore feminists), then little boys should also have the same treatment on their genitals as little girls.
I really disagree with parents believing they can decide anything for their child until they are 18, but I don’t want to have a fight now, so I will not elaborate on the issue. It’s a far over-trodden path anyway.
This debate has been good, but both sides I think have said the same things over and over. There is nothing more to say !
I would like to start out by saying I’m from the UK, and (as far as I’m aware), everyone I know is intact (bar one Jew, and one guy who had it removed for MEDICAL reasons at the doctor’s discretion).
Whilst I agree with the many coments here regarding circumcision being wrong, I would like to make a point to those who say “my husband/ children are fine without their foreskins”. They may say this, but you CANNOT use this as an arguement for circumcision, as they have NEVER KNOWN ANY DIFFERENT. In the same way that someone who has had a missing finger from birth has never known what it’s like not to have it and therefore doesn’t miss it.
If my parents had decided to have me circumcised, I would settle on the other side of this arguement, as it would be all I’ve ever known. However, ladies, I ask you not to judge our hygene or performance based on whether we are “complete” or not. Just leave the foreskin intact, and have done with it. It’s not evil, it’s not “extra”, it’s natural. Just as many have pointed out, a woman’s clitoral hood is natural.
I also think it adds to the intimacy of sex. You have to reveal their most sensitive areas (mal or female), and this joint discovery is surely very intimate between the two of you. I personally enjoy revealing my girlfriend’s clit when I go down on her, just for the extra sense of “others may have seen you naked, but no-one apart from me has ever been this close to you, explored your body as well as I have”.
Finally, at Kinky Jew:
“Awww, funny Brit. Can’t write your own comments without plagerizing. It’s *almost* like you can think for yourself, huh? Almost.”
I think the Brit in question was being very clever. By reversing the situation, using the same words, they point out that what’s true for one culture may be quite different to another, under the same circumstances. By showing your contempt for them, you reveal an inability in yourself to see both sides of the argument, and I can only assume you are as stubborn in the rest of your life as you are in this. Also, you don’t “own” your children. EVER. “Owning” a person is akin to slavery. And forcing your will upon children that are too young to know better, or to young to protest, in any other circumstance, would be considered child cruelty.
Yo MOM! how about you give your child a little tap on the head, or a little slap, or even cut off his lip, or shave his head, or snap off his fingers!? go ahead and do that! seriously?!!!! if i had the authority, i’d put you in jail right now!! I just can’t believe it how you claim to have the right to do anything to your child!
And yeah Kinky Jew!!! you seem to be a nice person. but are you nice enough to apologize to all uncircumcised men for what you said about cleanliness?!!!!
moreover! how the hell can anybody have the balls to make his child suffer that surgery! ? it’s not ice age anymore people, we’re in 2010!!!!
and yeah, btw, kinky jew, you r right, that thing had been on for thousands of years, which in my opinion is enough to change it!!
how can u claim that we are not clean. if we are not clean, that would obvous, our penises wouldn’t look right, and bla bla bla… which makes it easier to you to be aware of sex…..
but why wouldn’t we clean ourselves out in the first place!!!??? do u really think you care about our cleanliness more than we do?! i wouldn’t risk it all to not clean under my foreskin.
i dont wanna be the anti-jew guy here, but trust me, i do know how do you feel, you have no choice about it, and you said that, clearly.
so if you dont even have the choice, why are you anti-uncut?????
see, the problem is not with the article itself – which is you personal experience- but rather with your sick comments.
we are in a free country, true. and everyone has a right for opinion, but NOBODY, AND BY NOBODY I MEAN NOBODY, HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE TO CIRCUMCISE HIS CHILD.
it’s a matter of few years anyway, before circumcision is banned, legally, and for ever.
back to you MOM, please change your nickname, because you can be good at anything but being MOM.
Actually the study that indicated that circumcision reduced risk of HIV has been proven to be flawed. I am a circumcised male and due to that mutilation I am unable to feel sex at all. We are not a sex toy sex with circumcised men does not last longer either due to exposure of the glans it actually has been proven to be the cause of the rampant premature ejaculation problem. It is not “cleaner” it’s actually disgustingly filthy as it exposes an internal organ to lint and filth that accumulates in ones cloths. I find it horrific that you air on the side of the sexual mutilation of infants. If you forcibly performed this act on an adult male the punishment would be years in prison what makes a child any different? This act is sexual abuse before you air on the side of said action maybe you should see one performed.