I am going to hell.
Yes, Toy With Me’s, this is what I’ve been told in no uncertain terms by a recent site visitor who has an issue with my article that talked about sex toys for men. I suppose I got up this readers bum for talking about putting things up your man’s bottom.
I know this site isn’t for everyone. I know there is a certain religious conservative type that would find this place less than holy (or maybe that should be too many holes, but I digress…). The way I see it, hey, if you’re against sex toys and sexual play, why visit a site that specializes in it?
Okay, so I get this rather nasty comment telling me I’ve got an eternity of damnation to look forward to because I’m endorsing products that (gasp) promote pleasure in ways that are against the teachings of their main man, Jesus. So I get to wondering what CAN people do in the confines of their very narrow religious conservative extra firm mattress?
Curious, I decided to research “Christian Sex Toys” and tripped over Book22.com.
Book22.com is so named because owners Kevin and Joy Wilson wanted to make the connection between Song of Solomon – the twenty-second book of the Bible and one of the most erotic, elegant and luscious pieces of literature ever written — and their business of selling sex toys to married Christians.
Everyone needs a good sex life. And, more power to the Wilsons and others for wanting to share this with their unique audience. Certainly, uptight, fundamental Christians, who are terrified of going to hell if they break the mandates set by centuries of males in power, could really benefit from the fun of sex toys. I almost fell out of my chair when I came across the Christian Nymphos site.
Maybe I’m wrong, and God is intimately concerned with our sexual pleasure. It would explain why I cry out to him every time I orgasm, but do the Wilson’s really need permission from Jesus as to what sex toys are deemed holy enough to be sold on their site? ? According to Book22′s Joy Wilson,
“We pray about things before we add them to our site. We live our lives very openly in front of Jesus, so we just kind of pray for direction about which way he would have us go, and I have to be honest with you – he’s really surprised us … Almost our whole entire ‘special order’ page has come about from that.”
Does the Pope know about this? Does he have a team of Bishops who do nothing all day but sit around and debate which sex toys to endorse? Will they soon be coming out with their own line, Pontiff tested and approved?
Apparently Jesus has been too busy peeking through the Wilson’s bedroom window to find it within himself to give his blessing to the njoy Pure Wand as It doesn’t appear to have made the cut. Seems like a slick marketing gimmick to me under the guise of ‘helping’ married Christian couples find ‘pure’ sex toys (what, are they washed in holy water?!).
Why is there such a cloak of fear, guilt and shame over the entire issue of sex? Do Christians need to be given permission to be sexual and play without fear of being damned to hell or criticized by their fellow Christians?
Acknowledging and allowing ourselves our normal, healthy desires for sexual intimacy and play within or without a marital relationship or, shockingly, all by ourselves, is not Jesus’ or anyone else’s job.
What if these desires are part of God, independent of marital status or sexual orientation? A couple of lines from Shel Silverstein’s poem, “Ma ‘N’ God,” say it best:
Ma says “Eat broccoli, cereal, and carrots | But God gave us tasties for maple ice cream.”
You get the gist. God or evolution or howeverwegotthisway gave us a lot of things, including the hardware that allows us to feel sexual pleasure. And it’s funny how God or evolution or howeverwegotthisway gave single people, gays, lesbians, Hindus, Muslims, atheists, and Jews, among others, the same magical sexuality and power to give and feel great bodily pleasure as was “given” married Christians.
Yet according to some Evangelical Christian sex toy Web sites, only those who are both married (preferably to each other) and Christian should be allowed to enjoy the pleasures of sexual playtime.
It is our company’s policy that the products we sell be purchased for married couples only. As explained in the book of Genesis, God created woman from man’s flesh and bone to be his companion. In so doing, he illustrated that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. A common theme throughout the Bible is sexual purity. One example of this can be found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, “For God wants you to be holy and pure and to keep clear of sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor.” We want to encourage God’s plan for people to remain sexually pure, that is why we offer our products to married couples only.
But what about couples who are not Christians? Are they allowed to purchase their sex toys from Book22 and other Christian sex toy sites? The entire Christian sex toy credo to sell only certain toys approved by Jesus, only to married Christian couples, reeks of hypocrisy, judgment and fear.
Why would any good Christian couple have any need for evil sex toys when they come into the marriage bed pure and stay true to one another (and God, don’t forget! – The holy threesome of the Christian marriage bed) for eternity? Hmmm, God seems to have voyeuristic tendencies, but that’s fodder for a whole other post right there.
But who am I to judge? I say live and let live, whether it vibrates, probes, preaches or condemns – I say it’s between you and your God and your dildo.
Even Southern Fundamentalist preacher Joe Beam said,
“… Good sex makes people happy. …”
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Agreed.
Also Agreed.
What jackasses. But can you really expect anything else from religious twats? I think not.
Not all Christians are riding on the same bus.. Each group has their own interpretation of what is sin or not.
Some think Jesus never had sex, some think he has sex with Mary Magdalen
http://looklex.com/e.o/texts/christianity/gospel_mary_magdalene.htm
“Surely the Savior knows her very well.
9 That is why He loved her more than us.”
Of course, no one can know for sure. But I do know that release of sexual energy is a biological and mentally healthy thing. To keep all that fluid bottled up can lead to cancer and all kinds of disease.
I’m finally getting around to commenting.
I love how people like the visitor you had spew crap like, “You’re going to hell for playing with a toy in a dirty way” or “You’re going to hell for talking about prostate stimulation” because after all, it’s their decision what happens to your eternal soul. Your sex toys are just as evil as murder and other violent mayhem. It’s silly for people to get so bent out of shape about something. I hate when a person of any religion feels it’s their place to judge you and damn you and take it upon themselves to lecture you. Those assholes can go fuck themselves.
“Pure sex toys”…. Really? Lol. I would be interested what makes them think the toys are so pure.
I have no idea about the fear, guilt and shame of sex, playtime, etc that you mentioned because I’m not cloaked in guilt, shame or fear because of religion or fear of punishment from a higher power. I think if there is a God or several Gods or whatever that he or they have bigger fish to fry. I doubt if he or they exist that their top concern is what’s going on in all the Christian’s bedrooms.
I just discovered your blog and I have to say I’m having a kick out of it! Your posts are wicked and you have my eyes watering so much I laugh.
I exploded at “Does the pope knows about this?” — Awesome!
If only people were less bigot and more open to life, they’d so much more fun — sexually, that is —, and I truly think, this world would be far nicer.
I’ll link you to my blog and even make a nice banner for that! You totally rock!
I wish more people had a sense of humor. Glad you are enjoying the site.
This is of course not to mention that Book22 apparently sells unsafe products like tightening gels. Jesus wants your pussy dried out with alum, apparently.