What I Wish I’d Known About Sex


Well, Toy With Me-ers, it’s been a hell of a lot of fun working with you guys on the site. I can’t believe I’ve actually been writing here for a year and a half, but time flies when you’re having fun with your vagina. And fun was had by all. This, I regret to inform […]

My Ass Deserves New Lingerie


A million billion years ago, back when I was just graduating high school (or was I just in college? It’s all a little blurry, thanks to a wee bit of excessive, um, well, vodka usage), I was involved in my first serious relationship. Going on two years, we were finally showing the cracks in our […]

11 New Year Resolutions I Plan To Keep


It’s that time of year again, Toy With Me-ers, and no, not the time of year where I moan and groan about having to buy a swim suit (which, come to think of it, I’ve never done, which means I should probably do that sometime, just to SAY I’ve done it, right? RIGHT), but the […]

Las Vegas Fails On The Sexy Front


Right before Christmas, I did what all good girls do and packed my bags and flew to Las Vegas. Alone. I’d never been to Vegas, but every time I told someone I was going, they were all, “OMG, AUNT BECKY, VEGAS IS SOOOOO CRAZY,” so I was kind of disappointed when I un-boarded the plane […]

All I Want For Christmas Is a Pair Of Fuck Me Boots And Tom Jones


It’s the most wonderful time of the year again, Toy With Me-ers! Can’t you just FEEL the love dripping from everyone? Why, I was nearly mowed down by a couple of cars today trying to walk into Target to buy some motherfucking Christmas presents. Happy Motherfucking Holidays! I kid, I kid. I may be one […]

Ten Things You Should Never Say

shut the fuck up

There are very few things as emotionally treacherous as dating. I run a weekly advice column which is laughable enough (what, me give advice?) but what’s even more shocking is the amount of people who ask me for dating advice. Luckily, I have a cadre of people I can irritate into helping me give better […]

8 Amazing And Bizarre Sex Toys

awww, cute

Sex toys are pretty full of the awesome. You take the word “sex” and you add “toy” to it and you’re guaranteed an instant win there…unlike the lottery, which we all know is a joke. Unless you’re winning it, in which case you should probably give me some of your winnings or at least a […]