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Mommy Wants Vodka

8 Amazing And Bizarre Sex Toys

November 16, 2010

Sex toys are pretty full of the awesome. You take the word “sex” and you add “toy” to it and you’re guaranteed an instant win there…unlike the lottery, which we all know is a joke. Unless you’re winning it, in which case you should probably give me some of your winnings or at least a [...]

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When You’re Fat, You’re Mostly Ignored

November 2, 2010

I found it ironic to be sitting in my plastic surgeon’s office, outraged by the Marie Claire article that had the rest of the  blog world in a tizzy last week. As I explained last week, I was at the surgeon’s office for reasons that were probably more socially acceptable than those of the of [...]

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Why I’m Getting A Breast Reduction

October 27, 2010

On Monday morning, bright and blurry, I’m meeting with a plastic surgeon. I walked into the office last week, terrified out of my mind, like they were going to think I was too freaky to be in there or something. I was dressed in scrubs and had come from my third or eighth chiropractic appointment [...]

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A Letter To My Gay Friends

October 19, 2010

Dear Gay/Bi/Curious Teenage Prankster Who Is Being Bullied By Bullshit Bullies, Chances are, you don’t know me from a hole in the ground. In fact, a hole in the ground may look more familiar than I do, but I am Your Aunt Becky, and while we may not actually be related by blood, I have [...]

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The Story Of A Failed Orgy

October 12, 2010

In an uncharacteristic moment of peace (trying to bend spoons with my mind is hard, yo), I went back and read Chrissy and Ken’s columns about threesomes again. I don’t generally have the time to do that these days, what with the spoon bending and all, but I was trying to figure out what I [...]

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Cancer Is Fucking Bullshit

October 5, 2010

Over the last week on my main blog, I’ve been trying to raise some awareness for charity. Each of my Pranksters (this includes you, too, because the prank isn’t over yet) have been challenged to pull a prank on the internet for the charity of their own choice, by talking about it on their blogs. [...]

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My Take On How To Have Better Sex

September 28, 2010

It has come to our attention over at Toy With Me that perhaps we do not talk about how much we like The Sex enough. This tickled my wee funny bone, because perhaps I haven’t conveyed properly that one of the things I like most in the world (besides Diet Coke and napping) is The [...]

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