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The Kinky Jew

In Defense Of the Gold Digger

February 22, 2010

I have a new obsession. Maybe you’ve seen it too, and you’re secretly indulging right now. I didn’t tell my husband for a long time until one night he caught me: I watch “Millionaire Matchmaker.” No, this isn’t a review of a tv show; I barely have time to watch tv anymore, but if I [...]

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This Isn’t Your Fathers Sex Doll

February 15, 2010

There’s a huge taboo in Judaism against idol worship. We view the image of Jesus on a cross, and most statues made of Christian saints to be idolatry, as Christians tend to kneel in front of them during prayer. Yeah, it kinda freaks us out. But there’s a difference between a graven image that is [...]

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My Cats Are Totally Gay

February 8, 2010

I’m sitting here on my couch, watching my two male cats in what may be the gayest non-porn I have ever seen. My friend had a gay dog once, and it tried to rape my dog… that was pretty funny, but this is just weird.
OMG. They’re staring at me now.
Ok, so here’s what happened:
Mr. Stinky [...]

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Mormons, Polygamy And Virginal Obsession

January 25, 2010

This month, National Geographic is running an article about the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (FLDS) group, which is an off – shoot of the Mormon church. First of all, I can’t really tell one Christian from another; y’all just kinda blend together to me. I know there’s Catholic, and then there’s the rest. Whatever. Anyway, [...]

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Sploshing – A Whole New Meaning To Getting Porked

January 18, 2010

Of all the fetishes I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen quite a few, the thing that still gets me is food fetishes. Well, food and needles, but I really don’t think we want to have a conversation about needles, do we? The piercing and the blood and the accidental ripping when they catch on things [...]

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I Wish I Was A High Class Hooker

January 11, 2010

Hookers have been on my mind lately, because I guess that’s just the sort of mind I have. Also, I always wanted to be a “high – class escort” and make a ton of money, wear sexy clothes, be like the fucking James Bond of sex (well, the female side of sex), go to interesting [...]

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My Pubic Hair Needs A New Hairstyle

January 4, 2010

The New Year is a time of new beginnings. We decide on our resolutions (I’m giving up on that whole “lose weight” business… let’s just be honest here), we get back in touch with old friends, and, if you’re me, you spend an entire hour debating with your girl friends what shapes you’ll be waxing [...]

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