So my advice would be for him to starting work with his insecurity. I admit that I too was a bit insecure the first time my girlfriend wanted to buy a dildo, mainly because of size. With a size of 6 inches and 5 inches around I'll be the first one to admit that I was a bit jealous when she bought one that was 8 inches long and almost six inches around. However, she shared her experience with me, and as time went on, I was accustomed to it and I learned to know that it was never about being replaced, but just something to spice up our sex life, and I actually enjoy trying them on her. It's all about challenging yourself and dare to step out of your comfort zone, I'd say that's the best way to remove any insecurity and to build self-confidence in bed. And that has worked for us. Now she just bought a new dildo, even slightly larger then before. It's almost nine inches long and more than six inches around and more textured as it's a copy of some pornstar's penis. I'm not jealous any more, I know that it's just a spice-up and fantasies. Sometimes she tells me she just likes to let herself sink down on it, letting herself getting stretched completely while closing her eyes and pretending it's my penis. As guys we just have to realize that women do have fantasies about a big penis from time to another, but it doesn't means she's looking for a replacement.

ask her to consider a scenario in which you lost a hand in an accident. would it be "perverted" to use a prosthetic?

your situation is not one where the dildo is being introduced for kink, per se, or as a replacement to be used when she's alone–it's there as a tool to facilitate intimacy between you both.

If the dildo nazi is reading – let your wife have a damn toy already! Even if it’s twice the size of your junk, it will not replace you and telling your wife what she can and can’t do for something so silly is just going to push her away and in the end you will lose her anyway. Do you tell her what she can eat? What to wear? How to decorate the house?

Obviously every marriage has to have a level of both partners agreeing, but sometimes you need to agree to something that you don’ like!

And for any women out there who refuse to use a toy – get over it. Sometime over your life you have been led to believe that sex toys are bad in some way but whoever told you that – was wrong! You can’t tell me or anyone else that you don’t like pleasure and without toys you are missing out!

there’s something wrong with a “slutty and/or pornstarish” wife?

The only thing to do is show him that even the trickier corners of sex (meaning trickier than three positions maybe?) still mean love. It doesn’t have to be a certain way to meaningful. There are some “ahem” alterations .

I really hope he was just pissed off, and that he doesn’t mean it. Else, I really, really hope that he somehow manages to get a positive attitude towards dildo’s.

Really, I am like WTF?!?