Are you happy with your orgasmic experience and sex life?
How is it affecting other aspects of your life?
I often hear clients say, “my life is great; I only have a problem with my sexuality”.
After a short chat we usually uncover that they aren’t really where they want to be in many areas of their life, and that actually their sexuality has a lot to do with it.
Sexuality isn’t something that is independent and separate from the rest of your life. It’s not something you can put in a box, or up on a shelf, or hidden in a closet, and just forget about it.
It’s not a separate aspect of your life but rather an integral part which is connected to all other parts.
Your sex life, your connection to your body and to your masculine/feminine energies, how open and expressive you are sexually, and how orgasmic you are, affects your entire life – your relationship, studies, career, health, joy, creativity and spiritual practice. Imagine you could easily experience strong, deep, long and meaningful orgasms, by yourself and with a partner. Imagine your sex life wasn’t just better, but AMAZING!
How would that affect your life?
If you are orgasmic now, imagine if you didn’t orgasm at all, didn’t enjoy sex, and didn’t have a sex life – How would that affect your life? How would it feel to lose your orgasmic experiences and your ecstatic love making?
Let’s assume that you have some challenges with experiencing deep meaningful orgasms by yourself or with another, or that you have some discomfort and inhibition about sex. How does that affect various aspects of your life?
Here are a few questions and ideas to guide you.
Body Image and Self Confidence
How do your orgasmic and sexual challenges hurt your self-confidence?
Even if you are considered attractive, can you perceive that there is something missing or fake?
Regardless of how you look compared to the social norm, how would you feel with your body, with yourself, if you were more orgasmic and having a great sex life? I have seen women who weren’t considered beautiful or very attractive at first sight, but their sexual energy made them attractive, desirable and confident. Great sex and an abundant sexual energy makes you more youthful and attractive. Your eyes sparkle, your skin shine, your smile magnetizes, and you have a spring in your step.
How’s your sex with your partner? Is it something you enjoy and initiate or is it a chore to be ticked off? Are both of you happy with the frequency and quality of the sex you are having?
How is it affecting your relationship? How would your chemistry, your intimacy, and the non-sexual aspects of your relationship improve if your sex life was great?
Sex might not be the MOST important aspect of a loving relationship, but it still is one of them. Perhaps you already realize how much your sex life affects your relationship. If your sex life is great, it might not guarantee a perfect relationship but for sure it will improve your relationship.
Sex is a bridge over whatever mundane things you don’t agree on. If done right, sex can build connection and intimacy even beyond the bedroom.
How will your relationship with your kids improve if you were sexually satisfied? How often do you use the kids as an excuse not to have sex?
What if it was the other way around – What if you were fulfilled and charged by your sex life – Could that make you a better parent?
Physical, emotional and mental health
“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”.
You might know an older woman who becomes bitter due to long years without sex. She might be neurotic. She might have cats. Or you might know someone whom you see and think “oh, they really need to get laid”.
People who have regular sex are healthier and happier compared to those who don’t. Think about the high rates of vaginal, ovarian, uterine and breast cancer.
I believe that one of the causes is either a lack of sexual energy or too much of it that becomes stagnant when it’s not expressed, experienced, or released. It’s like fresh water in a pool – Leave it there for too long and it will become stagnant and murky. Whatever part of your body you aren’t happy with, will develop illness and symptoms.
As a child, I didn’t like my nose. It is the only part of my body which I broke – twice. I also had a gruesome operation to open the air passages in my nose, but a few years later the passages closed again.
I have worked with women who suffered different kinds of abuse when they were young, and later developed disease in their sexual and reproductive organs and ended up having their uterus or cervix or even both removed.
Sex, or at least good sex, is an activity which makes you feel better on all levels. Your brain secretes neurotransmitters that induce euphoria and joy, and your whole body is brought closer to balance. When a person experiences long deep states of orgasm, the effect is even stronger.
Do you express yourself artistically or creatively as a hobby or as part of your job? Are you aware of the effect that your sex life has on your creative abilities?
Sexuality, creativity, and art are all connected to the 2nd chakra. It is known that artists, musicians, and highly creative people were also very sexual. Think about how obsessed Van-Goch was about that prostitute that he cut off his own ear.
Sexual energy is creative energy. Sexual fluids and secretions have the ability to create life. If you cultivate and channel sexual energy, you can use it to create art, or be more creative in your career.
Are you where you want to be in terms of what you do in life, your job, career, salary, and satisfaction? Can you see how being more sexual, more expressive, and experiencing both pleasure and meaningful sex can help you be more confident with your co-workers, boss, and clients, and thus more successful?
Imagine having great sex throughout the weekend and again on Monday morning. How would your day be like after that? How would you walk? How would you talk?
Do you have the financial security and freedom you wish for? Are you challenged with making money or in saving money long term?
Sexual energy isn’t just creative energy, it’s also the energy of manifestation. By learning how to cultivate and control your sexual energy, you will be able to attract and cultivate wealth. Some men choose to ejaculate and some women choose to have clitoral orgasms because they can’t contain the level of pleasure and arousal – They can’t contain the build up of sexual energy, so they have to release it.
By learning how to experience stronger sexual interactions, and how to contain strong sexual energy, you also learn how to contain other forms of energy, mainly the energy of money and wealth.
How do your friends relate to you?
Are you the guy who never gets laid or the woman who never orgasms and doesn’t manage to keep a partner? Some of my clients are aware that their friends are talking behind their backs, or they feel inferior compared to their more sexually open friends.
“My friend Suzy is always telling me about her sex adventures and her amazing orgasms. It makes me feel bad because i hardly ever orgasm”.
When you intensify and control your sexual energy, you will become more attractive not only to opposite-sex partners but also to friends and people in general.
Studies and Mental Power
If you are sexually frustrated or frigid or too horny, that will have an effect on your studies. However when you are sexually satisfied, it will be easier to study and focus. When you become orgasmic and learn to cultivate your sexual energy, you can channel it to whatever are of your life that you choose. in this case towards your studies.
You can have greater powers of concentration, understanding and memory.
Imagine that – Having great sex for an hour and then writing an assignment.
Contribution to Others
I believe that one of the most important aspects of a holistic life, and a crucial part of a person’s mission on earth, is service and contribution to others – family, friends, society, and the planet.
Some people fill their time with so-called self-service to others, but often this comes from a sense of lack, unworthiness, and neediness. When you are cultivating your sexual energy, being independent with your sexuality and your life, and share meaningful moments with your partner, you are able to contribute to others from a place of fullness.
This will give you more fulfillment, joy and meaning than anything else.
Do you do any kind of spiritual practice like meditation, yoga, prayer, introspection or Tai-Chi? The ancient teachings of Tantra tell us that we can have great sex and become enlightened.
Sex is the most powerful energy and when cultivated, you can channel it towards your spiritual practice. Embracing sex and spirit as sacred, will allow you to experience and enjoy life and worldly pleasures while opening to transcendent states of being.
Sexuality affects all aspects of your life
As we’ve seen, your orgasmic experience and sex life affects all aspects of your life. Great sex has transformed my life, and the lives of my teachers, friends, lovers, students, and clients.
In what other ways can sex improve your life?
~~ToyWithMe is so happy to add Eyal as a blogger to our site! He will give a different voice and will offer a thought-provoking look at sexuality.