From the category archives:

Accepting Your Body

When You Look Good, You Feel Great

August 3, 2010

I stopped reading beauty magazines a couple of years ago when I realized a couple of things. First, I always walked away from them feeling kind of bad about myself. I mean, I’m not a size zero and while I have been described as “hauntingly beautiful,” it’s usually as a joke. Secondly, I can never [...]

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The Vagina Gentrification Project

May 19, 2010

From now on Toy with Mes, I would prefer to be known as Crissy, Sparkly Crotch, Queen of Everything because, yes.  Yes indeed. 1) Because I look excellent in glitter. B) I feel so plain and ugly after all the stuff I’ve been reading about vaginal improvement lately.  I’d like to gentrify my vagina, please! [...]

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The Redhead Healthcare Manifesto

March 18, 2010

I’m a 37-year-old Caucasian female with mild asthma and breast implants. “Sedentary” isn’t a word that comes to mind when I describe my lifestyle. My adventures have taken me around the world and to over 19,000 feet above sea level via my own two feet. I’m a track and road cyclist, rock/ice/alpine climber, trail runner [...]

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What Makes A Beautiful Couple?

January 12, 2010

“Wow,” he stopped us on the street, a completely normal looking man, probably in his mid-30′s with no obvious signs of mental illness. “I’ve never stopped anyone before to say this, but you two make an absolutely stunning couple.” I looked around to see if the restraints had left marks or if he was frothing [...]

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Cosmopolitan Can Totally Suck It

January 5, 2010

When I was in my early twenties, I’d often pick up a Cosmo when I was at the grocery store because I always enjoyed their True Confessions section where people would describe farting while their lovers went down on them or similarly humiliating experiences. Come to think of it, this was kind of the theme [...]

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The Vagina Monologues – Getting Comfortable With My Lady Bits

December 15, 2009

Because I am a neurotic freak and I am also in the middle of starting a freelancing career (stop laughing), I have been going back to the very first posts in my archives and rewriting them. Not like rewriting the past or anything ultra-glamorous, but just fixing up things where the grammar was crappier and [...]

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Self Deprecation And My Small Penis

December 5, 2009

I’ve decided that self deprecation does more to hurt the male ego than I ever could. I once dated a man who talked constantly about his “small” penis. Having seen it up close and personal I found it interesting that he would choose to obsess over a perfectly normal sized organ. And when I say [...]

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