A company in Switzerland has introduced a new kind of condom. It’s called The Hotshot and it’s extra-small (1.7 inches in diameter as opposed to 2 inches for regular ones, and 7.4 inches in length) because it’s designed for 12-14 year-old-boys.

Close your mouth.

Does this kind of horrify you? Maybe it’s because I have condom issues, but I am horrified that there is a need for this at all. As a mother, I just don’t like to think about kids that young having sex, but this condom was developed in response to a recent study done by The Center for Development and Personality Psychology at Basel University in Switzerland that showed young teens engaging in unprotected sex resulting (duh) in conception, thus prompting several family planning organizations to campaign for it’s production.

So now there are kid-sized condoms.

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO, TOY WITH MES?

My god how things have changed in 24 years only a few short years.  When I was that young,  I was still playing with Barbies (actually, I still do play with Barbies, but you know, I’m weird like that).  Sure, my  Barbies had some raunchy encounters, but you know.  That was Barbie sex.  I remember sitting in a tree house at my friend Katie’s and giggling and swearing up and down that we would never have sex with boys because we don’t want them to pee on us. That’s what we thought. We thought sex was kissing and then the boy peed on you.  We used to make up new lyrics to songs on the radio about boys peeing on girls.

Shut up.

We were 12!!!

That’s what 12- year-olds should be doing.

I stayed in the dark about sex until Freshman year of high school, or thereabouts. While I stopped thinking boys actually peed on you, I was really fuzzy on how exactly it all went down. My mom probably would have told me if I had asked her, but I was too mortified to bring it up to her, so Katie and I kept on theorizing and giggling and sneaking her older brother’s college anatomy books up to that tree house. I mean, we didn’t even know any sex words beyond penis and vagina, let alone having a clue what to do with them. My very first locker in Jr. High had “I wish every girl in the school would swallow my cum” written on the inside of the door, and I remember thinking “what an idiot! He spelled GUM wrong. SHEESH!” Once the sun came over the mountain a couple of years later and I learned what cum was, I felt pretty stupid for having shown the kid with the locker next to mine how some moron didn’t know how to spell GUM. No wonder he looked at me like I was clueless.

But don’t worry about poor wee little Crissy. Ninth grade Health class with Mr. Murgo cleared up my confusion. He looked and spoke exactly like Ferris Bueller’s Economics teacher, btw.

Anyone? Anyone?

Try watching that dude put a condom on a banana and not lose your shit, I dare you.

Thank goodness for ol’ Mr. Murgo, hilarious as he was, because he took care of all that naivety, but even though I knew what to do with the penis and the vagina and the cum, I still wasn’t ready to put it into practice! This is why I am so horrified. These are such different times and it makes me so sad that CHILDREN! are having sex.

But don’t take my horror at the mini condoms as disapproval, Toy with Mes. If there is a need for them, then they should make them available. I hope they ship a few of those bad boys over here to the states, too. I’m sure our statistics on young teens having sex are quite similar, if not even more shocking than Europe’s, but remember how I mentioned that I’m lazy? Yeah. I wont’ be going to check the facts on that one, but you know what I’m saying.  Most people know a young teen mom or dad, don’t they? That’s why this condom development is a positive one if you ask me. The only thing more horrifying than kids having sex, is kids having STDs or abortions or even worse, babies who will no doubt be abused or neglected unless there’s some serious intervention and support.  That’s not to say that teen parents are bad people, they’re just immature people, and that’s a recipe for disaster.

I’m almost 36 and I’m barely mature enough to handle parenthood (but then again, I still play with Barbies, so maybe that’s just me).  I couldn’t even keep a goldfish alive when I was in college.

So there you have my opinion on the kid-sized condoms.  They’re horrifyingly necessary.  I’m sure you all have something to say about this, so go to it Toy with Mes. Tell me how old you were when you lost your virginity, and if you think that was a good idea.  Was your 12 year-old-self mature enough to have sex and use protection? Is there a better solution to the problem of kids having sex?

Post from: Toy With Me

Condoms For Kids – How Young Is Too Young?

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“The folks at ToyWithMe asked me to do an article on depression. Since I live with depression, I was super excited, but now I don’t really know what to write!” I look at the blank screen where I’ve deleted about six somewhat decent starts.

“Ugh! Talk about how you end up with zero sex drive on your meds. Talk about how you never feel good or bad, just kinda hazy. Talk about how people go off their meds all the time, just to feel something!”

He made a compelling argument.

I have hereditary depression; that means that it runs in my family, and usually hits around the age of twenty – four. My husband and his brother both have anxiety disorders, which were acquired through… well, that’s a whole different article. The point is, we, like many people on the internet and the two million folks living in America with some sort of depression – related disorder, know the ups and downs of medications. Worse, we know the ups and downs of sex on meds.

Orgasms? Damn Near Impossible

Unlike other members of my family, I have managed to deal with my depression through Cognitive – Behavioral Therapy, diet, exercise, and a fucking fantastic support system. My case is manageable, but it wasn’t always. When my husband and I first met, I was well and goodly set on my Zoloft and Clonazepam prescriptions. He was very understanding, but we soon learned that those “sexual side effects” were no damn joke. I’d never had an overly difficult time having an orgasm before, but now it was near impossible. Things would start to chafe before I even got close to cumming. And even that was a victory, because for the most part, I had the worst time just getting wet. We should have bought stock in KY for the amount of lube we used in that first year! I’m surprised I didn’t receive a “Thank You” card from those people!

A Difficult Time

But you’re torn when you’re on your medications and your partner isn’t, because while you could give or take sex, they may really want it. It was very difficult on us, because while he wanted that “new – girlfriend” sex, I was ok just hanging out or going for walks. I was attracted to him, but no matter what he did, how good he was, what positions we tried, or what new kinks he suggested: Nothing. Happened.

If you have depression and you’ve ever been on medications, I’m guessing it’s the same for you. Maybe not, maybe you’re one of the lucky ones, in which case I kinda hate you a little. Just kidding. Sorta.

Sacrifice For The Greater Good

So how did we solve the issue? I wish I could tell you that we found some magical position that negated the meds for a couple of hours, just long enough for some good hanky – panky time, but didn’t have an adverse impact on my general mood. But the fact of the matter is that I didn’t have a good orgasm until after I stopped taking my pills. I have friends who have stopped taking their medications specifically for that reason, and I absolutely do NOT encourage that. If you have depression, are bi – polar, or Schizophrenic, do not stop taking your meds because you think you have to please your partner sexually. Do not stop taking your meds because you are sexually frustrated. Loads of us have been there, and if your partner doesn’t understand your needs, then you’re with the wrong person. Point – blank. If you miss those really good orgasms, join the club. Sometimes you have to make a few small sacrifices for a greater good.

Being Patient

My then – boyfriend and I solved the issue by being patient. I understood that to him denying sex was like refusing love (no, I realize this is not the same for all men, just for my future – husband), and he understood that there was only so far my body would take me at that point. We renegotiated things when I finally worked my way off of Zoloft, and our sex life changed significantly. I won’t say that there will never be a time in the future when I may have to go back onto medication, but for now my partner and I know that we can handle that possibility.

An Understanding Partner Is Key

I know there are a lot of people out there on the interwebs who live with depression and other mood disorders. I personally know how both depression and the meds can impact your sex life, and the resulting frustration both you and your partner can feel. If I could say anything, it would be that there is nothing more important than an understanding partner. Your sex life will have its ups and downs, and maybe you’ll be on and off your meds, there really is no way to know. But more important than anything is getting that support structure in place, surrounding yourself with people who love you, and working the physical details out later.

My brother – in – law peers over the computer screen at the article, “Did you talk about how much it sucks to jerk off until your arm hurts?”

Uhh… No. But I will now!

How have you dealt with your medications, and their impact on your romantic life?

Post from: Toy With Me

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If you have had a baby, it is quite possible that you are concerned with more than just the tightness of your abs since giving birth. Let’s just say that your other set of lips may not be as resilient as you would like them to be, and after pushing a 6-10 pound screamer out of your love kitty, you might just notice a difference in the amount of sensation and, let’s just say “tightness” (or lack thereof) during sex once you have gotten the go-ahead to resume sexual relations with your partner.

Although your partner may be worried that it will be like “throwing a hot dog down a hallway;” in reality, most women do not notice much of a difference in the tightness of their vagina after giving birth nor do their partners notice that anything has been stretched out or malformed. But for a certain percentage of moms, sex just doesn’t feel the same after the miracle of childbirth, and this could be due to a loosening of the pelvic floor muscles-you know, the ones you used to push that slimy ball of joy out of your uterus. Is it really all that surprising that things might not bounce right back to where they were before the blessed event

Perhaps you aren’t able to orgasm as easily because there is not enough friction, or your partner feels like the fit isn’t quite as tight as it used to be. Maybe, even maybe, you are experiencing urinal incontinence and discomfort, something you thought would disappear once the oven roaster stuffer wasn’t pressing on your bladder anymore. In these cases, there are very simple exercises that can help get your vagina back into tip-top shape. You may have heard of them-they are called KEGELS and they are really easy and painless (and may be priceless for your sex life, and your ability to hold your pee, in the long run).

Now, most women will recognize Kegels already from learning from their midwife or obstetrician that doing Kegels would strengthen the muscles that assist in childbirth. Turns out that those same muscles also determine how tightly your partner fits in your “love glove,” so it only makes sense that these exercises would also serve a sexual purpose as well, right? Right. So here is how it works:

The pelvic floor muscles support the uterus, bladder and bowel, as well as provide the necessary friction during sex to create stimulation. When these muscles become lax due to childbirth, being overweight, a chronic cough, or aging, certain undesirable symptoms can occur-such as urine or bowel incontinence (can you say EW?), inability to reach orgasm (double EW), or a lack of friction on your partner’s member during sex, thus decreasing the amount of pleasure during lovemaking sessions for both of you. Kegel exercises involve contracting the vaginal muscles on a regular basis to tone them (just like crunches tone your abs) so that they are more elastic, tighter and stronger. This will lead to a decreased likelihood of those nasty side effects, and perhaps a better (and more orgasmic) sex life. RAWR!

So you think you are ready to transform your loose, flaccid cooter into a tight, wet love muscle? First and foremost, you have to isolate the muscles you need to contract. To contract your pelvic floor muscles, try stopping the flow of your urine while you are on the toilet-those muscles that you use are exactly what you need to contract to do your Kegels. Or, put your finger up inside your vagina and try to squeeze against your finger. There you have it. You may feel like you can’t contract very hard, but the more you do so and strengthen them, the more pronounced each contraction will be. Then you are ready to jam out with your clam out, just like before that baby pushed itself into this world and changed the topography down south.

Once you have determined where exactly you are supposed to be focusing, you can begin your Kegel routine. First of all, empty your bladder before beginning, because contracting the muscles with a full bladder can actually end up weakening them. Sit or lie down and concentrate on contracting the pelvic floor muscles, holding the contraction for three seconds, and then release for three seconds. Do this 10 times in a row. Once you feel comfortable with the three-second contraction routine, move up to four, then five, all the way up to holding the contraction for 10 seconds. Be sure you are ONLY tightening the pelvic floor muscles and not your abs, thighs or bum-this will isolate the correct muscles to provide the proper amount of contraction to get them nice and toned. Also, remember to breathe and don’t hold your breath. Relax the rest of your body and focus on those muscles around your vagina and rectum-those are the ones that will make the difference!

For the best results, perform three sets of 10 Kegels per day, getting yourself into a routine so you remember every day. Try doing them while making the coffee every morning or walking the dog. Maybe you want to make it a point to do them while checking your morning e-mail at work. Don’t worry, nobody will be able to tell what you are doing; Kegels are VERY discreet. You can also try mixing things up a bit by varying how you do your Kegels. Instead of holding each contraction for a long period of time, try contracting and releasing very quickly for 20 seconds, then rest and repeat. Or start contracting lightly and each time you contract, contract harder until you are contracting as hard as you can, then work your way back down. All these variations will work your pelvic floor muscles in different ways to get the ultimate results and get your hoo-ha taut and tight in no time.

So what do you do if you try and try and just can’t seem to contract ANYTHING down there? Some women have a hard time contracting the proper muscles for Kegels, occasionally because the muscles have become so weak that they don’t contract very easily. In this case, pulling out the good ‘ole toy box can be a great way to get more acquainted with the area, while stimulating yourself at the same time. Try using a non-vibrating dildo, such as the NJoy Pure Wand or something similarly designed. Put the wand inside your vagina and notice which muscles are hugging the toy. Try to squeeze against the dildo and when you bring the balls at the end in and out, notice where it feels tighter as it enters and exits. This will pinpoint the muscles you need to contract to do your Kegels.

If you start doing your Kegels today, and do them religiously every day, you should notice a difference in your “loose lips” within six to 12 weeks, maybe even sooner. Every woman (and her vagina) is different, so results may vary, and they may be dramatic (a significant increase in sensation or ability to orgasm during sex) or subtle (more like throwing a big Polish sausage down a hallway instead of a hotdog). But the more you do them in the long term, the more you (and your partner) will benefit from the orgasmic results.

AND you won’t be investing in adult diapers anytime soon. There’s always that too.

Post from: Toy With Me

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