From the category archives:

Stories

The Story Of The Golden Vibrator

August 24, 2010

After I told you guys all about my problems with finding appropriate places to hide my broken sex toys, my bosses here at Toy With Me took pity on me and offered to send me a new sex toy. It was gold, the email said, and because I am a cross between a magpie, an [...]

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So I was Fisting My Girlfriend……

July 29, 2010

A few disclaimers. Firstly, this post is about lesbians. Yes. Lesbians. Secondly, this story is one hundred and ten percent true. And lastly, given that this story is one hundred and ten percent true, please feel free to leave your sighs of pity in the comments at the end. But please. Save it for the [...]

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I Need A Place To Hide My Sex Toys

July 27, 2010

When I was in high school, I was probably looting around for some rogue twenty dollar bills or perhaps golden coins or something in my parents dresser when I came across a condom. I was suitably horrified. It’s not that I didn’t ever expect that they had sex or anything, I just never needed to [...]

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Sex On The Beach – Fantasy Fulfilled

July 22, 2010

If you Google “female sex fantasies,” inevitably you come up with role playing, domination, exhibitionism, threesomes, and rape. Check, check, check, and Uh, no thanks, with a side of “can we just go with domination and call it a day”?
I’m more likely to laugh at you than fall to my knees if you show [...]

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Is That a Medical Device On Your Hoo-Ha or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

July 12, 2010

If you read my blog, you’ll know I have no limits in the intimacies I’ll share with you. I should have a tattoo stamped on my forehead as a warning, so that anyone who had a problem with this could turn and run before I got too close. This photo is your warning.

(And she looks [...]

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My First Pole Dancing Class = Hilarity

June 23, 2010

So one evening a rabbi and a librarian walk into a pole dancing class…
It sounds like the beginning of an awesome joke, but I assure you Toy with Mes that it is not.  This really happened last week when my friend (we’ll call her The Rabbi because that’s what she is) and I decided to [...]

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The Story Of The Birthday Blowjob

June 22, 2010

The first time I heard of oral sex, it was described in terms of bases. I think a blow job was considered to be third base, according to some of my seventh grade sources, but according to others, it didn’t register as a base at all. Between the new hormones raging so fiercely that I [...]

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