From the category archives:

Stories

Are you a voyeur?

March 2, 2012

I have a confession to make: I’ve been a little pervey lately. Not in a stalkery way. I’m not peeping through key holes or spying on my neighbors having sex through night-vision goggles or anything like that. So that’s why she asked for those 3D binoculars for Christmas.  You see, my boyfriend (P.S. I have a [...]

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DOC, ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS SUCKER’S NUCLEAR?

June 1, 2011

Third degree tears. Shaped like a Y, the tip of which crept up to my sphincter leaving my nether region looking something like this:  They stitched me up so tight that when I’m 50, my vagina will only be 25. Needless to say, I waited the full six weeks postpartum and then some to hop [...]

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I Have No Intention of Getting Knocked Up!

May 17, 2011

PRELUDE TO THE DELUDE: This is my post Mother’s Day article about babies and shiz. The Fairytale goes: Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, wed the beautiful Catherine and turned her into a Duchess and they lived happily ever after. The End. Finally they were able to chill out at Buckingham Palace and do whatever it [...]

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DOC, ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS SUCKER’S NUCLEAR?

May 1, 2011

Third degree tears. Shaped like a Y, the tip of which crept up to my sphincter leaving my nether region looking something like this:  They stitched me up so tight that when I’m 50, my vagina will only be 25. Needless to say, I waited the full six weeks postpartum and then some to hop [...]

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Las Vegas Fails On The Sexy Front

January 4, 2011

Right before Christmas, I did what all good girls do and packed my bags and flew to Las Vegas. Alone. I’d never been to Vegas, but every time I told someone I was going, they were all, “OMG, AUNT BECKY, VEGAS IS SOOOOO CRAZY,” so I was kind of disappointed when I un-boarded the plane [...]

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The Story Of A Failed Orgy

October 12, 2010

In an uncharacteristic moment of peace (trying to bend spoons with my mind is hard, yo), I went back and read Chrissy and Ken’s columns about threesomes again. I don’t generally have the time to do that these days, what with the spoon bending and all, but I was trying to figure out what I [...]

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The Story Of The Golden Vibrator

August 24, 2010

After I told you guys all about my problems with finding appropriate places to hide my broken sex toys, my bosses here at Toy With Me took pity on me and offered to send me a new sex toy. It was gold, the email said, and because I am a cross between a magpie, an [...]

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