Okay Toy with Me’s, I know, it’s a sextravaganza around these parts, we laugh, we love, we talk about labia. Today I want to talk about someone who makes my labia withdraw into a protective shell, think defensive position here. I am speaking of Christine O’Donnell, current candidate for US Senate in Delaware, Toy with Me’s, and she really freaks me out. I mean, aside from the freaky plastic Kelly doll hair. Hell, if she had control of the world, we wouldn’t even get to call our gay friends gay. I’m not sure what we would call them, but it wouldn’t be gay. It seems O’Donnell believes our use of the phrase gay to reference our homosexual friends somehow links to a societal description used by Hitler that explains a breakdown of societies. Did that confuse you? Yeah, me to, and I am the one who wrote it, and I even understand what I meant. It seems O’Donnell was a big reader of Hitler, and she found his writings on how a society changes their language to be a warning sign of its demise. She actually references our use of the word gay, which used to mean “gleeful, joyous” as one such sign.
This explains a lot about her, less about us. She is also vehemently opposed to masturbation; so much so, she was at one time, president of a group called SALT, fighting to ensure Generation Xer’s didn’t fall for that anti-aids rhetoric that encouraged masturbation and condom usage to protect them. Instead, they suggested complete abstinence, from yourself and others. Sounds like a great idea, this girl is a genius, and clearly she should be elected as a representative of the people. She is just another everywoman off the street, looking out for the best interests of the common American. Here is a brief clip of the information I just detailed, pay special attention to the radio interview at the end, where she is caught lying, TWICE! Maybe she’s a better politician than I gave her credit for being.
To be clear, I am biased, I really am a big fan of gays, masturbating and politics. I don’t like Tea Party candidates because from what I have seen so far, (and I live in Kentucky, the state of Rand, crazy eyes, Paul) they all just say the craziest damn thing imaginable to get some disillusioned people to follow them. But none of that changes the fact that Christine O’Donnell tops the crazy cake with chocolate drizzle and nut balls! At a time when people were fighting the AIDS epidemic and struggling to save lives through knowledge and awareness, she was out there spreading a “God only loves those who don’t love themselves,” message!!??!! Really??!! Her quoting Hitler makes me Cat on a Hot Tin Roof nervous, as in “pour me bourbon on the rocks, Paul Newman.” I can only handle crazy on Tuesdays and holidays, neither of which cover every time a vote is taken in the Senate.
Certainly, American politics is not a new arena for conservative views, but people who led groups trying to encourage people to stop masturbating? What does O’Donnell say about those views now that she has a few more years of experience under her belt? Well, while she has remained stunningly silent regarding this topic, she was still named as the contact person on SALT’s website when it was updated in 2009, not exactly a youthful revolt. (say, like dabbling in witchcraft, sorry, couldn’t help myself)
The point is, I do not give a fuckall about most of these people’s crazy ass politics, and you should have a right to choose from various political options. But you also have the right to be armed with ALL of the information. Knowing the candidate presenting themselves to you as a viable choice is a hardcore, Bible thumping, anti-gay, anti-sex-with-even-yourself candidate. The people of Delaware have some researching to do, as do all Americans. I get really sick of the complaining, whining and moaning about the lousy job politicians do when in office. What about the positively shitty job American’s do electing proper officials? How about, for a change, every voter does their due diligence and spend some time getting to know the person they are going to vote for and against. Research, read, learn. We enjoy a great deal of freedom; we stand to lose a great deal of them too. How about we take responsibility for that ourselves.
Why does this matter? Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Gay Marriage. Privacy Laws. Women’s Rights. Federal Funding for AIDS Research. Gay Adoption Issues. There are others, but you are brilliant Toy with Me’s, and you certainly don’t need me to lay it all out for you, or spread it out for you, or put my finger on it for you, or wrap my hand around it for you, because here at Toy with Me, we are all for masturbation….so put that in your pipe and smoke it Ms. O’Donnell, oh wait, she is against that too.