Contributors

The Redhead

Erika Napoletano is not  your sister’s Barbie doll.

She’s the sister who stole your Barbie doll (along with your brother’s G.I. Joe and had them getting it on in the back of her R.V.).

The only way we can think to describe her is Dan Savage with a vagina – and most likely, a bigger dick. She’s the proud owner of two ex-husbands, one ex-fiancé and four vibrators, having found that the beginning of any meaningful relationship in life begins with YOU – and a set of AA or C batteries never hurts. You can follow her rants at RedheadedFury, an uncensored traipse through her life and times. If you’re more of a techie, check out her irreverent take on social media, business and the interwebz at RedheadWriting. As a practiced blogger with pointed keyboard, she has no qualms about telling traditional media to go fuck itself and recently had it out with The Denver Post for calling her a “cougar.”

If you’re not afraid of an honest response, send your sex, dating, and relationship questions to theredhead@toywithme.com. She’ll answer two to three questions each week with an appropriate amount of factual content mixed in with total snark. Follow Erika on Twitter.

Nicole Antoinette

Nicole Antoinette, 24, is a blogger, cheese addict, and all around ridiculous girl whose main goal is to meet every single person on the planet. If you’re going to point out how batshit crazy that sounds, you don’t have to, she gets it.  She just chooses to spend her time thinking about other things, like the best strategy for sleeping with John Mayer and how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. By day, Nicole manages business operations for Shatterboxx Media, the graphic and web design company she runs with her super badass roommate. By night, she drinks absurd amounts of cheap wine while furiously typing over at nicoleisbetter.com, her blog that’s wildly inappropriate and not at all safe for work. If you’re looking for her, Nicole can usually be found mainlining iced tea, tweeting about her vagina, or accidentally driving the wrong way down all the damn one way streets of San Francisco.

The Queen Of Everything

Crissy,a lifelong Rhode Islander, is 35 and has two little girls.  Lucy was born in June, 2009 and her big sister Charlotte is four-years-old.  Crissy also takes care of a husband, an obese cat named Benny, and a cute little white dog called Alice who is just fluffy and not fat. Crissy works at a rather boring, but comfortable library job where she puts stickers on books and answers absurd questions from patrons every day.  Aside from doing a little bit of writing here and there, she doesn’t use a shred of her MA in English.  However, she really enjoys making student loan payments instead of having a new car, so it’s all good. She writes a blog where she is Queen of  *&%$#@* Everything and reigns over her readers, whom she calls Queefs, with a loving but firm hand. In both 2008 and 2009, Crissy won the Blogger’s Choice Award for Hottest Mommy Blogger and has been nominated again this year.

Mommy Wants Vodka

Becky Sherrick Harks was switched at birth, although she’s been unable thus far to prove it. She holds out hope that that some day, she can reclaim her title of Heiress To A Large Fortune. After becoming a parent at age 21, she went back to school to get her degree in nursing, a profession from which she retired at age 26. Now she uses her medical knowledge to feel smugly superior while watching television hospital dramas.  Bored by mini-vans, life in the child lane, and pot-pie recipes, she began to write on her blog, Mommy Wants Vodka in 2007. She was as shocked as anyone to find out that people actually wanted to read what she wrote. Instead of living a swinging life of weekends in the Congo and curing baldness while holding crack babies, she stays home with her three children. An unpaid, kept woman.