Awhile back, I asked my lovely little pet monkey followers to take part in an online poll about sex toys. You all rose to the occasion in fine form and some of you even responded to the actual poll questions.
127 of you, in fact.
Collectively, I love how twisted you are. You did, however, catch The Redhead a bit off guard. Honor students…ex-execs…meat eaters. Wow.
Here’s how the twisted stats shake out in the wash:
Sex Toys…
73%of you own them (designated in the survey as vibrators, BDSM accessories, cock rings, swings, gimps in your closet, etc.)
27% of you need to get your shit together and get some
Of those of you who own sex toys…
27% own Vibrators (battery operated or powered)
18% own Dildos
14% own Handcuffs/Restraints
11% own Other awesome shit
10% own Cock Ring
8% own General BDSM accessories (masks, gags, whips, etc – does not include restraints)
8% own Anal beads or ben-wa balls
3% own Sex Pillows (love wedges, etc)
1% own Suspension Equipment (swings, etc)
And if you’re wondering, “other awesome shit” includes…
“Little spiky rubber rings to put around his cock”
“I love nipple clamps, although it’s taken several iterations to find a set that does what I want.”
“My husband, who is better at taking The Anal than I am (I am actually oddly jealous), loves my strap-on.”
“Ties. Since I do not wear them to work anymore had to find something to do with these silk babies.”
“My honor cords from high school graduation”(fucking A – HONOR ROLL!)
“I was tired of my Anal Trainer Non-Vibrating Dildo and I wanted (craved, is a better word description) a bigger model. Since the nearest ToyBoxStore was 50 miles away I spied a nice Ekrich Sausage as a substitute.” (Apparently it’s not just for breakfast anymore…)
“Other couples. A third. Or being the third. Cameras.” (There goes the neighborhood)
“Some little vibrating octopus thing.” (like this?)
“Produce. Cucs, zucchini, eggplant, etc.” (When you don’t have produce, do you get green balls instead of blue ones?)
How frequently do you use the following toys & accessories in your sexual activities?
|
|
Never |
Rarely |
50/50 |
Most of the time |
I don’t consider it sex without them! |
|
Anal penetration toys |
52% |
31% |
14% |
2% |
1% |
|
Dildos (non-powerized) |
39% |
40% |
15% |
3% |
2% |
|
Vibrators (powered) |
20% |
28% |
31% |
20% |
2% |
|
Suspension devices (swings, etc.) |
87% |
11% |
0% |
2% |
0% |
|
Sexual lubricant |
12% |
29% |
24% |
24% |
10% |
|
Non-sex specific lubricant (hand lotions, etc.) |
65% |
23% |
12% |
1% |
0% |
|
BDSM accessories (not including restraints) |
65% |
22% |
9% |
4% |
0% |
|
Handcuffs/Restraints |
38% |
47% |
10% |
5% |
0% |
|
Other awesome shit |
50% |
24% |
14% |
7% |
5% |
Your favorite overall sex toy is….
A vibrator. Hands down (yeah, down around your naughty bits!). You folks love da bunny and your Lelo toys!
*****
So now, Dear Redhead readers is where I ask you: what would you like to hear more about in my column?
I have a request for a blow job “how to” course. Consider it done. It’ll blow your mind.
But there’s more you’re not telling me, my little monkeys…
Leave your comments below. While this column is my own little dick-tatorship, it is ultimately for you. Next week, we’ll return to answering your questions (there are some juicy ones in the hopper!), but this week, it’s all about you, your kinks and what kind of kinks you want me to talk about.
Sending you all a virtual boob flash.
Thanks for reading, don’t forget to subscribe and tell your friends about the kinky redhead with a foul mouth!
Sidebar: Toys for big and small…Meet me, Dear Redhead, at tonight’s Denver Tweetup. ToyWithMe.com is co-sponsoring and I’d love to say hello! The holidays are all about toys and we’re delighted to be doing a toy drive along with some naughty giveaways. Cum early, stay late.
Thanks so much for visiting us! We are working hard to bring you the best in sex, snark and hilarity along with sex toy reviews of the latest and greatest sex toys that are available. Never miss a thing by subscribing to my RSS feed, or by having it delivered right to your inbox. Want to get social with me? I would love it if you followed me on Twitter! Have a suggestion? Questions about our sex toy reviews? Just want to say hello? I would love to hear from you.
Related posts:
- Dear Redhead, My Wife Hates Her Vibrator
- Dear Redhead, My Vibrator Stinks
- Dear Redhead, It Tastes Really Gross
About the Author
Erika Napoletano is not your sister’s Barbie doll. She’s the sister who stole your Barbie doll (along with your brother’s G.I. Joe and had them getting it on in the back of her R.V.). The only way we can think to describe her is Dan Savage with a vagina – and most likely, a bigger dick. You can follow her rants at RedheadedFury, an uncensored traipse through her life and times. If you’re more of a techie, check out her irreverent take on social media, business and the interwebz at RedheadWriting. Get social with Erika on Twitter.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Dildo convert here. Live on the edge, dare to be different, try something new. I have always loved and lusted for my copious collection of vibes, but since trying the njoy Pure Wand http://toywithme.com/dildos/njoy-fun-wand/ I have come to realize the importance of variety
So my little perves it’s time you added a little variety yourselves. When was the last time you bought a new toy? And what was it?
OMG, I am like the world’s oldest virgin slut, but I am completely in love with my vibrators. I bought my latest toy about 4 months ago. It’s shapped like a mouth with a bullet in the middle that poses as a tongue. It also has a pump that causes suction. It’s like my box is getting munched on while I’m waiting to unleash my nasty self on the unsuspecting world!
ooooo…a blow job class! Great idea!
Crissy – I’m lining up for that one now. Such a sucker for information.
LizzyB – 4 months ago? Girl you deserve a new one at least every 2 months. All princesses do
to what category does a speculum belong?
<<<
Anal penetration toy. Obviously.
Excellent. My husband forget his lunch when he went to work today. I told him he could buy lunch orrrrrrr if he was super tough and just went w/o, I’d either give him head or a backrub when he got home. IMMEDIATE text back: “I’ll take BJ!!!!!”
…. I wonder what I’d have to do to get him to put away his socks…
You guys crack me up. Trading a sack lunch for a BJ…speculum…
I need a new toy. Papa’s got a brand new bag and mama needs a new BOB (battery-operated-boyfriend).
W00t! Keep ‘em coming, folks!
By the way? Vibrating octopus? I knew exactly what it was, sadly enough. I should get out more.
http://www.thescreamingo.com/vibrating_waterproof_massager.php
@ThatToyChick – I wonder if they have a squid and a clown fish. I could build my own sexy aquarium thing