We Have A Winner!
Thanks to everyone for all the awesome comments. You made this a very difficult decision for us, mostly because we were distracted by some extremely sexy and very unusual ideas for the boudoir.
Ok, ok, on with the winner. Congratulations to MommyJenn! We love how you sprinkled a little sugar on your man! Oh so sweet. Just email me your info and I’ll stuff your mailbox with the LELO GIGI designer vibrator.
It’s great to be The Redhead, y’know? Today, we’re going to start off by talking about a few very amazing things. Which means they’re amazing to me and thus, by default, they are amazing to you.
- @DearRedhead is coming to Blog World! If you’re coming/cumming, leave a note in the comments section below and we’ll determine how to best connect. I’m very excited and have been told I have some tempting giveaways while there.
- Are you following @DearRedhead on Twitter? That’s awesome. Thanks to you, I always have a bevy of folks telling me how my ass looks online. And now – the bait: if you help me get to 1000 followers, I’ll show you my boobs. It’s a great boob shot (@ToyWithMe concurs) and after all, they’re just boobs. If my readers can’t enjoy them, what good was the $5500 at that doc in Beverly Hills?
- COMMENTS CONTEST! Today, we’re having a comments contest. One comment per reader, @ToyWithMe and Yours Truly will be the judges. In the comments below, tell me about your favorite body part on a mate and why. The best response wins a LELO GIGI designer vibrator! I was contemplating fixing the contest (as this would be an awesome addition to my toy box), but lucky for you @ToyWithMe caught wind to my tactics and had insisted I give it away. Damn. Good luck to you! Lucky motherfuckers. Winner will ne announced tomorrow at 5pm EST.
This week, we’re chatting about a first date with Captain Fantastic, girl-to-girl action, and a simple yet important question about female “bidness” down yonder. Lock your office door, dim the lights, and look like you’re look like you’re doing something…uninterruptable.
Dear Redhead~
I have never before given head. For as long as I can remember, I thought penises were weird and couldn’t look at them. They’re funny looking! But I’ve met someone who I dearly love and I can gaze at his penis for hours. He loves going down on me, and he wishes I would return the favor.
But, this is incredibly lame: I’m scared. I don’t know HOW to give head and I’m still hesitant about the idea of a penis being in my mouth.
I also had lock jaw a few years ago, it’s gotten better, but I still worry my jaw might lock shut (which is hasn’t done in two years so I don’t think there’s anything to worry about).
How can I go about learning to give him head in a humanly-not-porn-star fashion and build up the courage to do so? I seem to always feel brave enough AFTER we’ve had mind boggling sex…
Sincerely,
Virgin Oral
Dear Virgin Oral~
My dear, you are not alone. Every girl (or guy who goes that way) has a first date with Captain Fantastic sometime. As this is an area in which I excel, I’ll offer a few pointers to get you over the hump between your man’s legs:
Try Teasing – You don’t have to pull a Linda Lovelace Deepthroat move the first time your tickle his tent pole with your mouth. Start at the tip of his penis (the most sensitive part, by the way). Wrap your lips around it and slide them down a bit. And use a little spit, ok? While our mothers told us that spitting isn’t ladylike, your man will appreciate the lover’s lube. Think of it as a light meal: sample some and save the rest for later.
While it’s called a “blow job,” it’s really about sucking – Don’t blow. If you need a point of reference, head to the grocery store and get a box of popsicles (get the no sugar added variety if you want to practice a lot – save calories!). You don’t lick a popsicle. You suck it. If you want it to last longer, you suck it gently. Just like your man would prefer.
It’s all about communication – Our partners need help figuring out what double clicks our mouse. We need it from them, too. Ask your man what he likes…and then DO!
And just a tip on HIS tip: if he wants to cum in your mouth (and no, it’s NOT gross), place your tongue over the tip when he’s about to ejaculate. Ask him to let you know when he’s close. It’s common courtesy Good luck and enjoy your date with The Captain!
*****
Dear Redhead~
My girlfriend (and I’m a girl) feels awkward about going out in public. We’ve been seeing each other for about 4 months now and I just started to notice this. She wants to order in when we could go out. We don’t go hang with mutual friends together (but she’ll go on her own). I don’t know how to say “what the hell?” without being mean. She’s great in every way except this. Any advice?
Sadly Solo
Dear Sadly Solo~
I think this is a conversation you need to have with your girlfriend, and sooner rather than later. It could be a litany of things, but if your partner (guy/girl/panda/whatever) doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, this is a red flag. If it’s not something she’s willing to talk about, then it’s time for you to assess what you’re willing to accept in a relationship. I’m no genius when it comes to good relationships, but I don’t think I’m too far off the mark when I say that they’re built on trust, respect and simply being proud of the one you’re with. Everyone goes through a funk from time to time, but if your girl doesn’t want to take a swing around town with you on her arm, it’s an issue that need explanation as you, my dear, are entitled to having a partner that communicates.
*****
Dear Redhead~
My girlfriend keeps getting infections every few months “down there.” She’s had yeast infections and then a few bladder infections, too. What’s up with that? Is it me or is she not taking care of her “bidness?”
Freaked by Funk
Dear Freaked by Funk~
First of all, thanks for asking me about what most guys won’t. What’s going on with your girl’s “bidness” isn’t entirely out of the norm, so let’s what about what’s what with your girl’s whatzits. K? K.
Women are prone to bladder infections after vaginal intercourse because of the friction that the missionary position (or any front-facing position) places on the urethra (her pee hole). The friction pushes bacteria into her urethra and, if not flushed-out, can cause bladder infections. And let me tell you – they hurt like three motherfuckers. Men usually don’t get bladder infections due to the physiological differences between the male and female urinary tracts. However, your girl can help prevent them by urinating promptly following intercourse. This flushes out the urethra (as urine is inherently sterile). So after you guys enjoy your “wheeee!” have your girl go “weeeeeeeee!”
A yeast infection is also quite common. And yes, we admit – they’re funkadelic. If she’s had repeated ones, however, and has been treating them herself without a proper medical diagnosis, she may not have a yeast infection. Your girl can take a trip to the clinic or her General Practitioner and have a quick culture done to make sure she’s fighting the right fight. They commonly occur in moist areas of the body and in women, can often be prompted by a new sexual partner’s body chemistry. It’s not a cleanliness issue – some women are simply more prone to yeast infections. They’re easily treated by over-the-counter medications lasting anywhere from one to seven days, but she shouldn’t try to self-diagnose. (hearing me?) Have your girl take a trip to the doc, however, and get checked under the hood. For her, for you and for the comfort of your long-term sexual relationship.
I hope that helps. And I hope it doesn’t freak you out that we bleed once a month and don’t die. And I hope she laughs at your dismay when you get asked the next time to turn your head and cough or when the time comes for your first colonoscopy. Good times.
Thanks so much for visiting us! We are working hard to bring you the best in sex, snark and hilarity along with sex toy reviews of the latest and greatest sex toys that are available. Never miss a thing by subscribing to my RSS feed, or by having it delivered right to your inbox. Want to get social with me? I would love it if you followed me on Twitter! Have a suggestion? Questions about our sex toy reviews? Just want to say hello? I would love to hear from you.
Related posts:
- Dear Redhead, My Girlfriend Is Fat
- Dear Redhead – My Wife Sucks At Sucking
- Dear Redhead – You’re Offensive
About the Author
Erika Napoletano is not your sister’s Barbie doll. She’s the sister who stole your Barbie doll (along with your brother’s G.I. Joe and had them getting it on in the back of her R.V.). The only way we can think to describe her is Dan Savage with a vagina – and most likely, a bigger dick. You can follow her rants at RedheadedFury, an uncensored traipse through her life and times. If you’re more of a techie, check out her irreverent take on social media, business and the interwebz at RedheadWriting. Get social with Erika on Twitter.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow..first post. I hope this is where I’m supposed to post for the contest. ^-^ I mean, there’s nowhere else that I see. It’s just, I figured more people would’ve posted before me.
Anyway, if I had to pick my favorite part of my hubby, it would have to be his chest. He’s so much bigger than me, so his chest is bigger than my pillow. And he’s fluffy, too! Seriously, I married a werewolf. I’ve grown addicted to it, though. Sometimes I’ll just grab one of his hairy arms and start rubbing my cheeks against it. It’s still nicer to do it to his chest, though. It’s so sedating, and I can just fall asleep on him that way. And aside from being sedating, playing with his chest hair first thing in the morning really gets me going. Sometimes it takes all I can not to pounce him at 3am…which I’ve done… But he needs his sleep. I just can’t help myself sometimes. ~_^
Oh, I do love snuggling-up on a chest, too. Never been a fan of the hairless cats out there – too much like the Dr. Evil’s puss. Nothing like a nice, warm chest to nuzzle on a cold morning!
My favorite body part on a man is his chest. There is this perfect spot on his chest that is perfect size for my hand.
A designer dildo, really? I’m so hard on these things that if I were to break it, I just know I will have days, weeks, months of guilt over breaking a “designer” dildo. However that being said I’m always up for giving my opinion, especially with a chance at fabulous prizes. *wink*
My favorite part(s) would have to be his arms & his lips. Both very useful for my needs. He has very soft lips and very strong arms.
His lips because I love kissing; nothing says romantic, passion, soft or hard like kissing. The style of the kiss is what sets the tone for the rest of the actions.
Then I say arms because, well I love to be held, love to cuddle and they make me feel safe and wanted when used right. Not to mention they are sexy as hell when properly defined.
-Kimberlee- (Jells)
I wonder if I qualify for the contest since I write here? If not, oh well, I wanted to comment anyway!
I love the indentation on my husband’s hip right above his groin area. The skin is so soft and the curve right there is oh-so sexy!
lol… Well then- let me be the first to say…
Hands.
I LUUUUUURVE my husband’s big ol’ man-paws. He has the softest hands that are always warm!! And they’re HEEEEEEUGE. Which makes me feel teeny- (and what woman doesn’t like to pretend that she has the same waist she did when she was 12???). They are perfect for backrubs, or to run fingers through hair, and ahem… other things…. ;P One of the best things too- is that I can enjoy them around other people- holding hands, or just putting a hand on my back to let me know he’s there and loves me. Hands communicate so much. /sigh yeah…. definitely loving hubby’s hands…
My husband’s hands are the most beautiful of all his beautiful parts. They are big, and they are capable. His fingers are long and thin and agile. They look sexy in a wedding ring. My husband’s hands cut the cord when our babies were born. His hands comfort our children, they care for them, they keep them safe. My husband’s hands work during the day, and play with me at night.
Dammit Potty Mouth Mommy! I would have beaten you, but I had to change a diaper! I should have just let her sit in it for a minute!
On my fiance, I love the scar on his back. He hates it, it’s from back surgery 10 years ago, but it makes him Simon, makes him my unique man. I love to massage his lower back around the scar to make him feel better. I never shy away from touching it so he doesn’t feel self-conscious about it, like he was the first time I saw it.
He’s the cutest thing ever, and no part of him is a flaw, just one more thing that makes him, him!
I love his penis, soft or hard! I have seen a few in my time and his is magnificent. It also seems to manage to hit ALL the right places at all the right times.
Oooh.. tough question. I’d have to say I have a tie between two favorite spots. Chest (clean please – not furry) and that “v” line on a man. You know the sexy “v” that leads to the destination point. I also love the treasure trail, but that’s another choice and probably takes 3rd of these options.
My husband has a tattoo on his chest and it’s very special to both of us. I love resting my head on the tattoo over his heart while my hand traces the “v”.
Hm… where’s the special toy? I think I need it. ;D
Loved the questions and answers! Keep them coming people, that was entertaining and informative
As for *my* favorite part on a partner? As weird as this sounds…hands. I love hands. If I’m into a guy, and he has a sexy face and a great personality, but his hands look more like my aunt Edith’s than they do Johnny Depp’s, it kinda kills the mood for me. Nothing is hotter than a sexy man, with strong sexy hands. I mean, it makes sense, after all, those hands are going to be all over my body (hopefully anyway), so if they *look* like he knows how to use them,chances are he does. I’m a big fan on having a guy touch my naughty girly bits during foreplay, so when I’m out and about and I see a good looking gentleman I’ll admit that sometimes I *do* give his hands the once over, take a gander at his fingers, and think “Hmmm…I wonder how those would feel against my clit”. It’s no dirtier than a male undressing a lady with his eyes, and really,much more discreet
Then again, who needs hands/fingers if they have a LELO Gigi….um yes please!
I’ll comment here because I am nominating myself as your online girlfriend. Sorry. I am. I’m your new girlfriend, so back OFF ladies.
ahh, so you like my hands, eh crissy?
now that you mention them, i’ve got a funny story to tell. i hope you don’t mind me sharing it with all the TWMs.
the other night, crissy and i were in bed getting busy when she placed my hand on her pussy. i knew what that meant!
“put your finger in me…” she asked.
so i did, without hesitation, and she started moaning.
“put two fingers in…” she said.
so in went another one.
she really started to get worked up, and she said, “put your whole hand in!”
amazed, i said, “ok!” and started fisting her.
so i had my entire hand in, working it pretty hard, when she said, moaning and gasping, “put BOTH your hands inside of me!!!”
slowly i worked my other hand in, and finally managed to succeed!
“now clap your hands…” said my wife.
“i can’t”, i said.
she looked at me, a twinkle in her eye, and whispered “see, i told you i had a tight pussy!”
There is no question I’m digging on his arms. They are perfectly chiseled. My thing with my guy is knowing really who he is. I’ve been told to use a background check company before I let him, take over if you know what I mean. Any advice out there?
My favorite body part of my husband’s is the little area on his side below his armpit.
I like to stick my face in his side and blow out my nose to make farting noises against his skin. It’s uber-sexay. Not really, but it always makes us giggle. And laughter is a key component in a healthy sex life.
Unless you’re laughing at a tiny dink, which my husband does NOT have.
CP – That’s freaking funny!
So we have lots of hands up for hands, mostly because they are all over you. I love Mr_toywithme’s hands, but I love his lips even more. They are very full and sexy hot! Like his hands they also seem to wander all over me, and they are dreamy to nibble on.
Wow – it looks like Aunt Becky’s gonna bitch slap all of you if we don’t start dating.
As well, OMG, Petra – I have a shared fascination for the same little hip indentation on a man. Snacky, snack, snacky, I say!
Seems everyone’s in the market for a new vibrator today…keep the comments coming. Entertain me, my little sex monkeys. Entertain!
BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh Petra you stole my indention!!
I love that “groove” on both hips that leads the way to the groin.
I think it all started with my first Ken doll. Ken had the best indentions Ev-ah!
Line it with sugar and lick your way home.
*sigh*
OMG!!! THAT’S NOT ME! That’s some hooker joke my neighbor tells!
I’m going to KILL MY HUSBAND.
TWICE.
With my HANDS!
Inden- ta- tions. Not, inden-tions.
Me no write good when thinking of licking …
OK, if all of you mention indentations, I can’t fucking pick a winner.
I’m bogarting the man’s hip indentations as my own. GET YOUR OWN BODY PART! ***
*** special props to MommyJenn for “line it with sugar and lick your way home”
Ummm..errr…any more remarks like that and I’m keeping the vibrator for myself!
It would have to his Perineum…it’s so very intimate and when I run my tongue down it, he yells out “Mommy, I’m sorry! I swear I’ll be good!”
Wow – awesome photo. If I weren’t married and scared shitless of my wife, I’d show you what a medium girth 3 inches can do to send you into orbit.
One point on the woman who managed to not give head and still date regularly: don’t do the chipmunk thing, either – the overexcited response you see from us is not pleasure; it’s pain mixed with the panic that only castration can elicit. And if you practice with the popsicle? Remember that it is only a simulation, and biting it in half when you are tired of sucking is NOT part of that simulation.
Boobs.
Yep. Been a boob man all my life. Big ones. Small ones. Doesn’t matter. They are all wonderful. Nothing beats the soft feel of my wife’s breast drapsing across my cheek while we are being intimate or the soft feel of them sliding down my torso as she moves down to give direct attention to my happy stick. Whether it be a handful, a mouthful, or just a tiny nibble. I love them. Every bit or bite.
Hmmm, you are going to make pick just one? As someone who notoriously can not just have one favorite, I will have to list two. Although I seriously hope this doesn’t disqualify me from the AMAZING prize. (Please, please, please!)
My spots on the husband are his amazing muscular shoulders and his penis. And ironically I love them both for they way they make me feel. I mean come on, if he can use those beefy shoulders to hoist me up and make me feel like I’m light as a feather, and just the thought or sight of me (even after nearly 10 years) makes his man bits all worked up, wouldn’t you agree to do anything he wanted, too?
I really like my partner’s hands. They’re long and thin (think piano players) and are a mix of masculine and feminine. I’m totally into androgyny and think that his hands basically embody that term perfectly!
Wow. I’m speechless. You guys really…er…have run away with the comments today. You either really want the vibrator or you want to see my tits. One of the two.
Here you go:
(.)(.)
ok…… so i want to win the vibrator because A) i have NEVER won ANYTHING before B) i broke my bullet a couple of weeks ago and i am in need and lastly C) my husband has the most luscious back muscles ever. it is my FAVORITE part of his body… strong, muscular, manly. like when he lays in bed on his stomach and stretches out his arms above his head and it’s all muscle and manliness…. ohhh good gawd!!! so hawt.
so pick me, kthx.
Dear Readhead. I’m following! Um… best part? Show us your tits… Please?!
Oh, was this supposed to be my spouse’s best part? His hands turn me on, hands that work hard, strong, muscular palms, that lead to thick forearms traced with big throbbing veins, long, thick fingers, perfect for going deeper, harder, oh so soft velvet skin to caress me… And, oh, what they can do to me… those hands.
Besides some of the obvious (hands, lips) I’m a fan of his calves They’re strong and muscular, and can hold me tightly when need be.
Oh!
I remember in high school hearing people talking about blow-jobs and wondering how blowing on a penis was supposed to feel so great for a man. tee hee Somehow I managed to figure that “blow”job thing out less than a year later…
While there are many things I love about my husband, I would have to say, I reeeeeeeeeally love his butt. I like when he lays on his stomach and i lay perpendicular to him with my head right where his back meets his butt. We also spend a lot of time naked (we just moved to a new place and we’re still newlyweds….) so I like to occasionally surprise him by sneaking up and gently nipping a cheek! It’s just so bite-able and grab-able and spank-able!
Your blog posts are HILARIOUS…and I am obediently following now on Twitter, master. Have your way with me!
I would have to say my favorite part about my man is his throat. It is so soft, lovely to touch and suck on. It always tastes good, because he is a clean person. I like to kiss his throat and nibble his ear, which makes him shiver all over (That is a delicious story for another day, unfortunately). Of course, my extreme turn on spot is my throat, too, so that may have something to do with it. He kisses me there, and he’s a gonner! Makes me purr like a kitten. Nomnom.
I also love his manbits, but who doesn’t?
You know, I had that problem a few weeks ago, about being scared to give my boyfriend head, but I just watch so much porn, I decided to go for it. I mean, if they can do it, why can’t I? Now, I’m not a deep-throater, but a nibble and lick and kiss drove him CRAZY. OOHOHH, it’s so much fun. I could be like a secondary Fellucia Blow, man!!!! (If people haven’t heard of her, you should really look her up…)
Anyways…Throat. Definitely the throat.
By the way, I’ve never had a sex-toy before, and considering that I am going to start my own sex-toy review website in a few months, I really need some materials…and I LOVE LELO…and Tantus…and, and, and…well, anyways…Lelo Gigi is my first love, though I have not held her in person, but if I get a chance to, I will be the first to review her on my site.
And if not, I hope the lucky lady out there who gets her ENJOYS HER TO THE FULLEST!!!
Njoy…;)
in all seriousness, picking a favorite part is hard. i actually mulled it over all night long.
finally i came to a conclusion.
her eyes.
they are constant.
they do not wrinkle, sag, fall out, turn gray, get bigger, get smaller, or fade. they are bottomless, sparkling marvels of ocular physics, the windows through which i see my wife just as the day i met her. reflected in them i see myself, as a man, husband, father, and partner–simultaneously the young student swept off his feet by his gorgeous classmate and the person she has helped me to become.
(the runner-up was her ass. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yummy!)
Today is the day!! Announcing the winner at 5:00 p.m. EST. It is going to be a tough call.
My, my, my – you guys have been BUSY overnight!
@shay – yep…makes you wonder why they call it a “blow” job, huh?
And @CP – damn. Comments like that will have me locked away in my bedroom with the prize I’m supposed to be giving away. Sexxxxaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Keep ‘em coming! And BTW: I’m at 537 followers. Only 463 to go until you get boobage
(.)(.)
I hear what all ya’ll are saying about the hands, and I do agree. Also, the ‘v’? Totally sexy. To the point when I saw one of the contestants on So you think you can dance showing it off last season, that I thought it was inappropriate for tv!
But those aren’t my fave. My absolute favorite parts of my hubby are his shoulders. He’s got broad shoulders, with plenty of muscle. Definately makes him look like a MAN, rather than a boy, and makes me feel more petite. I’m not a petitly built woman, as I also have some decent sized shoulders, and I prefer a guy who out muscles and masses me. So, yeah. Totally his shoulders. Also, if my head is resting on his shoulder, it’s the perfect spot to nibble on his ear, which drives HIM nuts too! hehe
Not in it for the prize obviously as Toy With Me owns pretty much every single sex toy manufactured this decade. Seriously….Storage IS an issue.
Anyways……… Fave part of Toy With Me……. Mouth.
“nuff said