“I firmly believe that there are dildo people and there are vibrator people,” I said to my lesbian friends as we sat down to dinner. I had enlisted their opinions, considering that they use artificial devices more than I do, and on a more regular basis. I’d spent the evening telling them about ToyWithMe, and about the new little addition to our home that should be arriving any day now. I’d been expecting the Luxotiq pink Athena dildo for a few weeks with mixed enthusiasm. Being a vibrator person, I wasn’t sure what I was going to say about a type of product I rarely used. Could I give a fair assessment to a product that held zero shelf-space in my Box-O-Fun? I felt concern over this particular assignment.
It’s Like Butter
Heads nodded around the table; “It’s like butter,” my friend said, “sure, you could churn your own butter, or you could have a machine do it for you. I like my butter churned by modern science.” A fair point, but I considered that maybe I had never given dildos a decent shot. Maybe, like fresh churned butter, there was something to be said for the classics. So, I eagerly awaited the lovely pink glass Athena. And I waited. And waited. As the folks from ToyWithMe will agree, Luxotiq seems to use the Pony Express to get your shipping done, and I had already planned, and taken, a trip to visit family in Israel before it finally arrived in a large box on my doorstep. My husband tore into the box with abandon… he’d been more eager about our new arrival than I had, and produced a lovely pink and white box, wrapped in a bow. It was a gift for my vagina! Very thoughtful of them.
We took the smooth glass space-alien-shaped toy out of its satin padding and a little card tumbled to the floor; “Luxotiq: Sold only as a novelty.”
“Crap!” I said. “Wha?” said my open-mouthed staring husband. “It says it’s sold only as a novelty! I need a dildo that’s ready for business. I NEED A VAGINA-FOCUSED DILDO!” but my husband calmed my concerns by explaining that in some states, toys have to sold as “novelties” due to weird legal issues. Stupid legal folks!
Ok, admittedly, this is more of a story of the journey to the dildo than about the dildo itself. It’s like the Great Dildo Quest of Aught-Nine. Anyway, there is a review of the product here, and here it comes… so to speak.
This Is A Very Pretty Toy
I got the Athena out of the wrapping, and went upstairs to try it out… not being entirely sure what to do with it. Ok, yes, I knew what to do with it, but I was like a stranger in a strange land, a girl without a cuntry, a child of the modern in the land of self-butter churners. So, I sat down on the bed, grabbed my trusty little laptop, pulled up some of the better erotica that I like to read when I’m spending some quality alone time, and went to work.
I will say this: first of all, the Athena is a gently curved piece of rounded glass with two different sized heads at either end. It was actually quite nice having two choices out of one toy, and I found myself admiring just how pretty it is. One of the reviews I read said that it would make a lovely table piece when not in use… I don’t think I’d go that far. I’m not sure that’s what my mother wants to see when she comes over for dinner, but it is a very subtle, feminine piece.
An Orgasm Like A fine Wine
Also, having never used a glass toy before, I was happily surprised to learn that the Athena traps body heat, something my vibrators had never done, so that after a few warm-up rounds it did start to feel like someone else inside of me. Major points! Though, the downside to those sleek, feminine curves is that there was very little texture for the G-Spot to enjoy. This is definitely a toy for the clitorally-stimulated among us, so if you need friction to get off, this may not be your best bet. That being said, I was not at all displeased by how smooth it was; it was actually a nice, relaxing change of pace to the WHAM-BAM-ORGASM MA’AM that you get with some vibrators. It was also easy as hell to clean, and dried quickly. Once I got into the swing of things, I found that without the noise of your typical vibrator, the Athena was actually quite a relaxing piece, and allowed me to have one of those orgasms that’s a lot like a nice glass of wine.
Diversity Is A Good Thing
“So did you finally get it?!” my friends asked me over another dinner later that week. We chatted a bit, and I told them my thoughts, “All in all, out of a rating scale of five orgasms, I would give it a three.” So that’s my advice to you: if you’re generally a vibrator person, give this sweet piece a chance, and mix up your routine a bit! If you typically enjoy dildos, I think you’ll find a lot of advantages to the Athena. It may be made of glass, but it’s a sturdy little thing, and stores body heat to create new and interesting sensations that you really don’t get with silicone. It can also diversify your toy collection, and aren’t we all about diversity? If your sex toys were the United Nations, the Athena would totally be France. But without the cigarettes. Or the arm pit hair. It’s like the France you would see in a Meg Ryan movie. And who doesn’t want to put a Meg Ryan movie in their vagina?… I think this article has gone horribly off course.
In summation: I enjoyed this toy. And croissants.