Five Things Every Woman Must Do After a Divorce


Sadly, sometimes, having no relationship can be better than the one you have. If you’re stuck in a dead-end marriage, a divorce may be the best thing you can do. It can be the greatest gift you give yourself.

After ten years of marriage, I took the plunge and got a divorce. For me, it was the most liberating experience. I married young and was ready to be me again. So after the divorce is final, or even any breakup, it’s time to find yourself, have some fun, and move on!



Depositphotos_34474201_xsForget all that grieving nonsense, this can only go on for so long. I say you get a week per year of marriage. When that is done, it is time to have a party. It is time to pull the sweat pants off, wipe your face and put your party dress on. There is a new tradition in this modern world called a “Divorce Party.” I think this is a great idea! Grab your friends, the single ones would be best, and have a night out on the town. The party can be anywhere, just make sure there are guys to flirt with and libations to make the flirting easier. I chose a small bar a few towns over where I didn’t know a soul. Everyone in our little town in Mississippi knew me and my business.


Once you get a divorce, or any kind of break-up, you must get rid of the old sex toys. Each toy will have a memory, and the energy shared with your old guy. I had a double-headed hot pink dildo I called the pink panther. To be honest, I may have missed my toy, more than the man, but it must be done. Maybe that is why I got divorced.

So now the fun part, finding new toys! This is your chance to get whatever you want. My ex-husband did not want competition from the toys, so I got the biggest one I could find. Couldn’t do much with it mind you, but that ten-inch beauty was all mine. I got one of those that was modeled after a porn stars cock. Still don’t know who the porn star was, but he had a magnificently shaped penis. This will also help you from jumping on the first guy you see when the urge hits you. Taking care of that urge you get in the middle of the night, helps tremendously.


Okay, there should be some jumping on a man going on, but control yourself and choose well. Not the first man you see, but the first one who hits your fancy. The man should be the opposite of your ex, complete opposite. My ex-husband was ten years older, short and built like a bull dog. I went younger, leaner and taller. Personality doesn’t really matter because this will be a one night stand. Also, make sure it is not someone in your “circle” and again, maybe a few miles away from your neighborhood.

This ladies, is not like just any old one night stand. This will be the best one of your life so far. This is the time to lay it on someone, without the awkward small talk the next morning. You have probably learned a few tricks in your marriage, now is the time to use it. There will be an appreciation received that you have not felt in a while. This should be an empowering experience for you.

Since I had a husband who was many years older than me, I went for a younger guy. It may have only been a couple years, but he was twenty years younger than my husband. He felt different under my fingers, smooth skin was where I was used to feeling roughened. This to me, was a rejuvenating experience. They will touch you differently, smell different and feel different. How wonderful that is when you have grown accustomed to a certain way and then bam, some strange. Strange is good ladies. And, this will help you from getting into that rebound relationship too fast!


Some may think you should do this and then have a one night stand. I say no. You want to pick a man up, just the way you are. You need to know that just because it didn’t work out with one, there is nothing wrong with you. So ride the one night stand, just the way you are. The next day, change everything or at least a few things.

This is the time for you to become the new you. The old you is gone and a new, improved version is about to appear. A great way to change your outlook on life, is to change your hair. Cut it short, perm it, dye it, whatever you have always wanted to do. Then, go to your favorite store and pick up some new pieces for your wardrobe. A new sassy jacket, high heels and a belt can change any outfit. There will come a time that you are going to run into your ex eventually and you want to look hot. You don’t want him back of course. You just want him to regret the divorce, even if you secretly don’t.


In most marriages, the woman loses herself a bit. Add a kid or two, and the woman you once were, disappears. This is the time to change all of that. There may be a dream that is hidden in the back of mind that you have pushed to the side. Now is the time to do this. For me, it was going back to school. I got married at eighteen and was thrust into many different roles. None of those roles were to further my education.

This is time for reinvention. This could be time for returning to a hobby that made you smile in the past, yet you couldn’t seem to ever have time to do before. This could be a time to get back to jogging or yoga, whatever it was that made you happy. There is no more worrying about what your husband wants or what kind of wife he wants, this is the time to get to know who you are again. Or who you want to be.

Sometimes we live a life that we do not recognize anymore. A life that we may not have consciously chosen to lead. Change that. Create your life to one that you cannot wait to get up for every day. Life is short and there is no better time than now.

Reinvent yourself and become the YOU you want to be!


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