Get Your Sexy Back! ~ Moms Can Be Sexy Too!


Welcome to Week 4 of Our 10 Week Journey designed to grab life by the ovaries and get back to enjoying The Sex!

ID-100124438This journey is filled with a variety of sexual advice and tips to get your sex life back on track, along with a healthy dose of snark and wit, because obviously. Our Master Sexologist Natalie will be covering an array of topics including Reconnecting With Your Partner, Peri-Menopause/Menopause, How To Spice It up and Finding Time For Sex. So climb aboard the bus to O-Town and let the journey begin!

Some-days y’all…I am TOUCHED OUT. Between kids, work, pets and the myriad of things that pull my energy and attention, asking me to figure out a way to feel sexy is like asking me to perform in Cirque du Soliel’s Zumanity show! NOT.  GONNA.  HAPPEN.

You see, for women, feeling sexy is a hell of a lot more than simply making a decision. It’s an ingrained programming that women often short-circuit when they jump off the deep end into parenting.

Without realizing it our inner sex kitten gets replaced with things like; feeling rested, feeling full and my favorite – feeling sane. Seriously. Where the fuck has my sanity gone?!? It must be on spring break with some Disney Princesses gone wild because I’m pretty sure I lost that shit while pushing out munchkin number 2.

More Than An Expiration Date

I get it! I really do. It’s hard to feel sexy when you can barely wipe your own ass without a mini human peeking in to see when you’ll be done. It’s hard to feel sexy when “dating” is something you check on yogurt containers and cheese packages. A wild night around here consists of staying up past 9 pm and watching a movie with a rating stronger than PG.

For some stupid ass reason, us moms put everything about ourselves that feels good and adult on the back burner when we begin to birth our mini me’s. Can anyone explain that phenomenon to me?! WHY? For the love of spicy nachos…WHY???

Listen, I know you are feeling the same way too. I hear the whispered conversations over caramel lattes and lemon poppy seed loaf slices. I see you browsing through the pages of those magazines that continue to tell us we aren’t good enough. I call bullshit on all that and I say it’s time to take back our own SEXY! Just because we are moms doesn’t mean we have to give up our sex machine card. In fact, we should be using it to the max!

5 Easy Tips To Get Back To Feeling Sexy

Get your flirt on!

The gas station attendant, the grocery store clerk, the waiter, the bar tender, the pizza delivery guy. Take every single opportunity you get to smile, bat your eyelashes and flirt! Flirting is an art. It is a learned skill and you are going to relearn it. For fuck sakes, before kids and life and all that we are buried under, we flirted our asses off.  Now is the time to start doing it again. It’s an enormous boost to your self-esteem when someone flirts back! So get in on that action!

Pamper Yourself!

No one, and I mean NO ONE feels sexy when they don’t take care of themselves. Put yourself back on the top of your priority list!  Ditch your granny panties and slip into your sexy lingerie, forget saving it for a ‘special night’. Dab on a little perfume, even if you’re just home with the kids, it feels nice when you smell wonderful. Grab a bottle glass of wine, fill the tub and pour in your favorite bubble bath. Bring along your WATERPROOF vibrator and put that little gem to use! Just be sure to LOCK the DOOR, this is mommy time dammit!

Show your Style!

If you have a great ass, it’s time to show it off. If you have a killer rack, put it on display! Pick your poison. Choose what you love the most about your body and dress it up! Find clothes that fit you well and you LOVE to wear. Nothing boosts your confidence quicker than a sexy outfit that you feel amazing in. If your wardrobe is full of grape juice stained sweatpants and over sized ‘mommy’ tee’s than it’s time for a change. Ask your fashion forward gal pal for help. Get back a sense of style and feeling fantabulous when you walk out the door.


Now, this one *might* take a leap of faith for you. You need to GO FOR IT! Take a pole dancing class or strippercize class. Just about every gym has a sexy exercise class! Find your favorite and jump in. Treat your partner to a kick ass performance late one night when the kids are all tucked in. Taking a fabulous class will help you feel more confident and confidence is dead sexy!

Own It!

Feel sexy for YOU! Don’t do it for your partner or others, do it just for you. If you receive compliments, hey, that’s just the icing on the cake! The honest truth is YOU have to love you. No one else is going to love you unconditionally. You need to be the one that loves you with abandon and fully! The next time you look in the mirror, I don’t care how silly it feels, tell yourself you are a “SEXY BEAST!” Affirmations work.

Your Challenge:

I am throwing down the gauntlet ladies and challenging you to feel sexy again! Choose one of the tips we’ve suggested or create your own challenge and take back what is yours! You deserve to feel fucking fantastic! You deserve to love the way you feel and look. You are the best damn thing that has happened to your family and it’s time you believed it too!

Do Tell Toy With Mes …

Are you stuck in the mommy rut? Do you forget what sexy feels like? Let’s fix that. Pick your favorite tip and DO IT!! No excuses! Then come on back and share with us what you decided to do and how it went!

**If you missed what Natalie’s journey is all about you can read it here.

Make sure not to miss any of Natalie’s 10 week journey to grab life by the ovaries and get back to enjoying The Sex! Subscribe to the Toy With Me feed today!

Free Digital Images. Photo by marin.



  1. Charlotte

    LOVE this. Everyone needs to get their sexy on every now and then–mommies especially! I have so many mom friends who lose sight of this and it’s easy to understand how.

    I have always wanted to take a pole dancing class. I’m terrified to try it but think it would be such a fun “girls’ day out”! Stopping by from SITS Sharefest today 🙂

    • Toy With Me

      Thanks for stopping by Charlotte! I bet you’re not the only one of your friends who would like to take pole dancing classes. You should poll, pun intended, your girlfriends, you might surprised at who would love to do it with you!

      Even if none of them do, life is too short not to try new things and do something that makes us feel good about ourselves. I hope you sign up for classes!

    • Natalie

      LOL…GIRL…DO IT!!! take that class! Get your sexy on! I have so many friends who took a class like that to simply prove they CAN do it. The personal satisfaction you will gain from simply stepping outside your comfort zone is AMAZING!!!!

  2. Over the past year 1/2 I’ve made a somewhat conscious effort and actually lost some weight, of my own choice..he loves me anyway..but I did and plan to try to keep doing so..and the critical part for me that made me feel so, so good was how my clothes fit me (or didn’t and needed new ones) Choosing smaller sizes, more fitted new items, and actually coming out of the dressing room to show my J and ask his opinion was so awesome. I haven’t felt that good in quite awhile despite not really letting myself go too much after our daughter. I’ve been given many compliments over the past few months from people we don’t see too often and I accept them without being shy..that’s cool too. And despite what my wonderful J has always said about loving me no matter what I look like..I see that look in his eye when I wear his favorite outfit and he doesn’t have to touch Thru three layers of too big clothing to see curves..his curves as he calls them..oh yes I see it!

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