Self Love!

self loveTo love or not to love? That’s the question we all ask ourselves. But this time it’s not about falling in love with someone. This question is about the taboo subject of loving ourselves.

Self love can often be viewed as narcissistic or boastful, making us less apt to point out our good qualities. Couple this with the influence of the media, always at the ready to remind us of the value society puts on ‘beauty’, and it’s no surprise that women tend to focus on their flaws as opposed to their good traits. You don’t have to look any further than the checkout line at your local grocery store to see what I’m talking about.

Mainstream women’s magazines are constantly feeding our self doubts which leaves us questioning every aspect of ourselves. I did a quick search on magazine covers for December 2013 to show just how prevalent this is.

Cosmopolitan: “What People Say Behind Your Back”

Self: “Flat Abs! 5 Things Your Tummy Is Trying To Tell You”

Shape: “Look Younger Today!”

Elle: “No Winter Blues Here! How To Get … Flawless Skin”

Bombarded with messages daily on how to ‘improve’ how we look, act and feel it’s no wonder many woman struggle with self love. It’s time to ignore all of these negative messages and start reminding ourselves of our amazing qualities. If you think that these messages don’t affect you try this little experiment. I dare you to take note of the things you say to yourself during a day.  Do you say wonderful things or are you constantly beating yourself up over all the failures you are eyeballs deep in?

If you focus more on the latter of the two then it’s time to shake that fucking mindset and rattle your cage a little.

I want to challenge you to begin to shout out about yourself. If anyone dares to tell you that you are getting “too big for your britches” or some other lame ass comment, you have my permission to look them in the eyes and say “BITE ME!”

It’s time to fall in love with yourself! Here are 5 tips to get you started on the path of loving you exactly as you are.

Start A Journal

Make the first page your list of things you like or love about yourself. Everyday, think of ONE thing you can add to that list. One thing … some days, it might be hard. Other days, it will be easy as pie! Begin to recognize the good things that are happening with you and to you. At the end of the month go back and read what you have written. You now have 30 wonderful and amazing things that you believe are great about yourself. Doesn’t it feel awesome?!

Let Go

I know, I know! It’s so freaking hard to let go of things in our lives. It’s hard to let go of the perfectly folded laundry and the squeaky clean dishes. I am imploring you to let go of some things and give yourself some room to breathe! Let go of some of the stuff that piles your plate too high and makes you hate those few moments. Stop living up to others expectations. They say life’s too short to wear ugly shoes, I say life’s too short to hate any single second of what you’re doing.


Quit judging other people. We all see the world through our filter and it’s hard to shut that voice up inside your head who is so busy picking people apart, and after she’s done picking them apart, guess what…she goes after YOU!! That voice that was so tough on that woman who just walked by is EXACTLY the same voice that tells you how shitty you are at your life. Tell her to STFU! Quiet that critic and you will find that it’s easier to praise and frankly, it feels better!

Do Something Silly

Go ahead, break out the sparkly heels with your fuzzy pajamas! Put your hair in pigtails with marabou feather elastics. Put glitter on your lips and eyelids. Book a vajazzeling appointment! Do something that makes you feel utterly silly and makes you laugh so hard you have tears rolling down your cheeks. Bring along a silly buddy. We all have one. A friend who can pull off the most amazingly dumb things and we all want to be her, for just a moment … invite her along!

Say it

Okay, go out on a limb with me here. Just a few inches … I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and say it, out loud. “I love you.” Just like that. Say it quietly, say it out loud, or shout it at the top of your lungs. Just say it. When we say things out loud they anchor in our unconscious mind. If you’re having a hard time saying it I want you to say this “Ever since I read that post on Toy with Me, I can laugh in the mirror and say “I LOVE YOU” You might not BELIEVE IT right now, but, given time and persistence, one day you are going to look at that woman in the mirror and you are going to say it and god damn it, you are going to mean it!

I hope you will take just one teeny tiny step towards rediscovering who you are under all those layers people have heaped onto you and told you who you shouldn’t be. I believe in the power of women and I believe in this mission we are on at Toy with Me. Most importantly, I believe in you.

Your Challenge:

Get back to loving yourself.  Pick one of Natalie’s 5 tips and do it!  Don’t procrastinate, now is the time to start. You’ll be glad you did.

Do Tell Toy With Mes …

Everyone enjoys  sharing their accomplishments so we’d love to hear which tip you chose. Why did you pick this particular tip to try?  How it made you feel?

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  1. Natalie

    I’m down visiting friends in California. I found an awesome new journal to keep moving forward and writing my journey in! When I get back home I’ll share pictures!

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