I Could Be The Best Present You Ever Receive!

ID-100116603A lovely woman named Kim replied to my previous article, calling me adorable and mentioning how most 40+ men want 20 something women with hard bodies. Well, I am adorable.  Funny too.  Cute.  Intelligent.  Did I mention funny?   But I (and many of the other guys who are just like me) suffer from the same thing she mentioned in her reply.  I am not a 30 year old, man-scaped, tanned, chiseled, perfectly coiffed fire fighter with nothing in his pocket, he is just obviously very, VERY happy to see you, even from a distance (admit it, you’re wet just thinking about him).

Fact is, if this man you have in your head and I both walked into a bar together, right now, you’d eye him like a piece of Belgium chocolate (and salivate to boot).  Me? You’d miss me entirely.  I know this to be true.  Hell , I live it daily. But I’m okay with that.   I’ll never be the leading man, just the comedic sidekick.  Okay, it is what it is.  Does it bother me? Not really.

And why doesn’t it bother me; because I abhor a double standard.  See, I do the same thing to women.  If a hott woman walks by, she has my full attention (and I mean FULL).  So I am just as guilty of it as you are.

We all do it.  We look at beauty.  We look at flowers, paintings, sculptures, landscapes, animals, muscle cars, whatever because we find them attractive. Do you ever watch a spider eat a bug?  No, it’s ugly.  We’ll watch it spin a web, largely because of the grace and beauty of its dance along the strands even though they scare most people … okay, most women (I have yet to have a buddy come screaming into my living room, freaking out over the spider in the shower).

Attractive people make more money, get more perks, get out of more minor legal problems, moved to the front of the line … they get more (yeah, that kind of MORE too). Is it fair?  No.  Is it reality?  Yup.

But here is the thing, and it’s happened to all of you too.  Once we all sit down, talk, get to know each other, you become just as attracted to me as you did to the fire fighter (maybe not physically, but you eventually start to agree you could be alone, naked with me without being sick).  Sure, a guy like him you want to take home and fuck the shit out of in ways that would make Jenna Jameson blush but a guy like me you want to take home for keeps.  Of course, part of that means you’ll let guys like me roll on top of you for a few seconds (seriously, aren’t you sometimes thankful some of us are premature ejaculators?) but it’s a small price to pay for someone who is there for you, shares your interests, your concerns, your hopes, dreams and desires.

That is not to say some beautiful people aren’t beautiful on the inside too. There are simply some magnificent people out there, who seem to have it all.  I just am not one of them.

Besides, ugly guys like me can’t just phone it in like good looking fire fighters can (I’m not picking on fire fighters, they are the hotties du jour so they get all the attention, positive AND negative).  We need to work at it and make you want to come back.  Couple that with the whole quick draw problem and we are either masters of foreplay or wonderful people you hate to hate (or both).

That aside (no, it wasn’t necessary but it built up my esteem, so shut up and read on), the bottom line is, as a species, there are always going to be things that attract us that some people have in leaps and bounds. The rest of us have them as well, we just don’t stand out. And in a society where standing out is everything, we cry foul when we don’t.

It’s tough to be unique among eight billion other unique people.  When everyone is unique, no one is; we all become the same.  Personally, I am okay with that.  It makes everyone like a birthday present; you never know what you got until the unwrapping. Some I hate, some I am ambivalent about and some I absolutely adore.  And unless someone told me what they were in advance or I peeked, all of them held my attention and desire for a certain amount of time.

People are the same, they are captivating until they lose us … and vise versa. We may not be in the best packaging or have the best ribbon and bow, but if we let them unwrap us, we could be the best present they ever received.  All the rest is just stuff we tore off and have strewn about the floor (that wasn’t meant to be a metaphor about clothing but damn if it doesn’t work for that too).

So don’t be ashamed to desire the swim suit model or life guard or whomever you covet. Embrace it. Hell, whistle at it and make a lewd remark and a provocative gesture (just not too loudly or obviously, people are so friggin hyper sensitive these days).  It’s okay to desire beauty. And don’t be upset that others do the same thing, it’s part of our nature. Just make a conscious effort to give everyone a fair shake, an opportunity. Taking the time to get to know some has an amazing side effect. They have to take the time to get to know you too and THAT is how real relationships start.

What about you Toy With Me’s? Have you ever fallen for someone you thought you wouldn’t based on looks alone? Do you take the time to get to know someone who you might not initially be attracted to wondering if there’s more then meets the eye? We’d love to know your thoughts.

Photo by thephotoholic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.



  1. I can’t think of a single time since college that I’ve ever crushed on a guy based on looks first. For me, men have to be smart, articulate, funny and charming … more so with me than with people in general. Maybe it’s because I think I have a broader range of what I find physically attractive in men. However, poor grooming and dressing is a big turn-off. So are a lack of confidence and self-esteem.

    • Toy With Me

      I agree with your list Ms. Quote. Looks can only carry someone until the first conversation, after that it’s all about your sense of character and integrity. Without those the buck stops here.

  2. DidITweetThat

    Funny guy. I love it.

    Having something to offer is a plus, and being confident is the key. That guy or gal that isn’t that good looking but still has people fawning over them… that’s confidence. (or she’s a whore or he has money) but if not those things… it is confidence.

    I’m a winker and when I want, I have a smile that is between disarming and slightly creepy… ok, maybe it’s the undressing you with my eyes that pushes the creepy, but really, it’s ok, because you’re not naked, just in ridiculous lingerie…

    ….but I was saying. Next time you walk into a room, pretend you are the most interesting / attractive person that will walk into those peoples lives… EVER. Forget that, don’t pretend, BE THAT PERSON. No I’m not suggesting you make up a the Billionaire Genius Persona and live it at your next family gathering, go somewhere different, be someone who is confident and KNOW that you truly have something to offer the right person or people. People want to like you, but you have to take the first step and LIKE YOURSELF FIRST. Confidence.

    People also really love it when you listen to them…. sincerely

    • From The Wet Spot

      You hit it right there friend; people WANT to like you. No one invests in a conversation if they have pre-determined your character is less then they are interested. A person’s attention is yours to lose. Be you! Those who appreciate you for you will gravitate toward you.

    • Michael

      The problem…for me anyway…was my confidence and self-esteem had been flushed down the proverbial crapper so many times…there wasn’t an ounce of confidence left in me. I’m still kind of skittish around pretty, sexy, awesome women. But now I don’t care because I don’t want them a whole lot more than they they don’t want me…

      • Toy With Me

        Growing up I was the homely girl, so like you Michael, I’ve struggled with confidence my entire life. I think that’s why I focus more on getting to know the person than on their physical appearance. Yes, I do need that physical attraction as well, it’s human nature, but there’s more to it than that for me.

  3. Michael

    I was the 6′ 5″, skinny, pimply faced kid that was every girls best friend. Some got to know me…most didn’t. The ones that did still thought of me as the 6’5″, skinny, pimply faced best guy friend. And it ATE at me!
    I was…and still am…the most devoted person you would ever want to meet. I never think the bad…always see the good…forgive things I shouldn’t…don’t speak ill of you (even if you deserve it)…have the most incredible sense of humor. I was the 6′ 5″, skinny, pimply faced, devoted best guy friend.
    It tore me up when you lost one boy friend and jumped right in with another one… ignoring the hell out of me. And it ATE at me!
    But ya know what? A funny thing happened as I got older. I really no longer give a shit what you thought…or think…of me. Suddenly…I was your loss. If you had given me 15 minutes of your in between boy friend time…we would have had one hell of a good time. But you didn’t…so it’s now your loss…not mine.
    And the funniest part? Had you taken the time to get to know me…and enjoyed our time together…you would have gotten the fucking of your life (isn’t that why you wanted beef cake in the first place?)! And probably would be still. Cuz ya see…I was the 6′ 5″, skinny, pimply faced kid you chose to ignore. Your loss, Baby!
    So, yeah…I identify with losing out to the beef cake fire fighter.

    • From The Wet Spot

      I hear ya buddy. I’m a foot shorter then you but stocky and was the same best friend. It sucked when your hormones were racing but, like you said, as I get older I could give a rat’s ass what people think. Their loss.

      And this is not to say that those guys I would lose out to weren’t nice guys, some of them were great guys but that doesn’t take away from the sting. Whatever, right? It is what it is. I am happier now that I realize I have to accept who I am and the people that like me.

      • Michael

        What really sucked was the other guys I lost out to were…for the most part…my best friends. We had a good group of people and hung out together a lot. The worst part was my “friend” and the object of my desire would often sneak off…and come back to the group with stupid looks on their face. Hated that shit…
        But now it’s still their loss…and The Wife is in love…and in lust…with ME!!!

    • From The Wet Spot

      But you have to get to know the person first to determine that. When they walk into the bar, if they are beefcake, you’re looking. If not, you’re not. It’s just life’s cruel way of reminding us we need to be the best people we can be.

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