Ten minutes in to what was supposed to be a quick stop online before I dash off to the gym, and I’m still scrolling back and forth in front of search results for lubricant, riddled with indecision. Since when are there nearly as many brands of lube as there are of breakfast cereal? As my vision begins to blur in a pathetic state of confusion, a bright blue bottle catches my eye. Its wavy design soothes my frayed nerves, and the bright white lettering is a beacon announcing the enticing words “glide,” “long-lasting,” and, wait, does that actually say “doctor recommended?” I guess I’ll be a good girl and follow doctor’s orders. Off to the check-out with my ID Glide.
While you know, or will soon, that I think reviewing toys is no less than the cat’s meow, test driving lube is a ride on a whole other highway. When you add lubricant to the party, buckle your seat belt baby, because you’re going the extra mile.
Although I can’t say I’ve met a lube that didn’t do me right, I do fancy water-based because it’s easy to clean and non-staining. And while I’d be the first to tout a new brand if it’s earned a nod by living up to my demanding standards, I find a certain comfort in the well-established lines. ID Glide is the brainchild of the leading maker of personal lubricants, Westridge Laboratories, Inc., that’s been in the lube biz since 1993. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve these kind folks, but we’re not just talking about lube to kick vaginal dryness to the curb … the clever little buggers at Westridge design lubes specifically to make sexual sensation skyrocket.
Delivery day arrives and so does my hard-sought bottle of ID Glide. I ponder my options. My recently christened Iris dildo was beckoning, and I thought it rude to disobey. This was going to give a whole new meaning to watering the flowers. I popped the top in giddy anticipation, but was sure to not be greedy … a little ID goes a long way. Glide indeed; my incredibly slippery superhero was fighting friction instantly, giving my Iris the green light to cruise effortlessly across my clitoris and in and out of me. Even with a seat belt, I was going to need an air bag.
And how, might you ask, can a girl be basking in the midst of such slick and stimulating delight and still be able to control her own destiny? I pleasantly discovered that my ID Glide lets me pace my own progress to the great and powerful O.
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