Dressing Up Like A Pony – Would You Saddle Up?

Did you guys know that Toy With Me is totally into horses?

Well, she is.  She looooves them, but not in an icky Igottahaveabighorsedick way, you guys.  She loves them in a normal way.  But there are some people who love ponies so much, they actually want to BE them.

Recently, my  pain in the ass husband who wants me to be some sort of raging sex kitten sweet and loving husband bought me a sexy book on Amazon. That book opened my eyes (very widely) to the world of what is called “pony play.”

At first glance, pony play sounds like pretending to be a pony.  Like, my five-year-old daughter engages in pony play all the time!  We play My Little Pony and Barbie’s Tawny horse, and she likes to pretend she’s a pony sometimes, etc. but it’s not all about that all the time, Toy with Mes.  Not everyone is in it just to comb Pinkie Pie pony’s hair to get her ready for the big birthday party in Ponyville.

Shocking, I know.

If you’ve read any ofThe Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice, particularly Beauty’s Release, “pony play” conjures up images of male slaves being adorned like horses and trotted out around town in full horsey regalia.  It’s super dirty and sexy and  S&M-ish.  Other people would assume it to be about something naughty with real animals (and therefore under the zoophilia or bestiality category).  For a few practitioners, this is surely the case, but for the majority of pony players, the motivations are far more mainstream (if not a little fucking weird) and far less, like, GAH!

Pony play can be divided into two main motivations:  for some, its attraction is in the granting and assumption of power over another person.  This play is a subset of BDSM, and more about role playing or fetish playing. A pony so identified is sometimes categorized as a “fetish pony.”

BDSM usually defines a “top” and a “bottom.”  In pony play the “top” is the rider or owner, and the “bottom” is the pony.  Pony play practitioners are very quick to point out it is NOT about abuse or non-consensual pain/humiliation, but rather a consensual exchange of power.

Another motivation for pony players is to actually express themselves as a pony. Terms used to describe this form are “furry pony” or “equine identified.”  By prancing around like a pretty pretty pony, they connect with their equine inner nature.  These players usually cite a return to innocent childhood fun and imagination as factors in their play.

The next time my husband gives horsie rides to the kids around the house, I’m totally going to ask him if he feels connected to his inner pony.  Also, the next time my daughter pretends to be a pony by stomping and running and snorting when we’re out in public, I plan to tell all the assholes who look at her funny that she’s “equine identified.”  It totally makes acting weird sound very fancy!

Some pony-players make further distinctions about motivations (such as whether sex is involved or not), but nearly all ponies express an interest in escaping the anxieties and pressures of being human.

Now that part makes sense to me.  Maybe I’ll try it!  Being human sucks ass sometimes, amiright?

Rumor has it that even fucking Aristotle used to like being ridden like a horse, so pony play is also referred to as “the Aristotelian perversion.”  (Those ancient Greeks were some freaky mofos, right??)

Regardless of motivation, ponies at play can be broken up into three major categories (although many ponies cross over amongst the three):

First, we have Cart Ponies:

Cart ponies are trained to pull carts.  A “sulky” is often employed as the cart.  This is a chariot-like vehicle, usually with one axle (though two may be used).  The name stems from the fact that they’re single passenger vehicles and so the driver must ride alone, “sulking.”  Since most of the weight is supported by the wheels, smaller ponies can carry much larger people.  Sulkies are commercially available but many are homemade.  The more elaborate include suspension systems to provide additional rider comfort over bumpy or uneven terrain.

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Sorry.  I’m trying to handle this as maturely as possible.

It’s not working.

Ahem…

Cart Ponies often have their arms fastened closely to their bodies to prevent  use.  Real ponies don’t have arms, see? They may be behind the back or secured to the support arms of the sulky. Most cart ponies wear blinders.  This is one of the most popular forms of pony play, but can you imagine riding in your “sulky” and just being all “Left!  NO!  TURN LEFT!  Pay attention motherfucker!  You’re gonna hit some shit!  If you bang up my ride I’m gonna whip your ass.  It took me two weeks to make this bitch!”

The next category is Riding Ponies:

Riding Ponies are ponies who are directly ridden, without the use of a sulky or cart.  This can be in three basic positions: on the shoulders while standing, on the hips while standing, or on the back while on all fours.  Because of proportions of strength and size, most riding ponies are male, though this is far from a rule.  Ponygirls are more likely to be ridden while on hands and knees.  Kneepads are often used to protect the riding pony.

Can you imagine seeing that at the mall?

Of all the types, this category can be the cheapest since it can be done completely nude and without any accessories (besides knee pads).  As a result, it’s often where experimentation with pony play starts. As play complexity progresses a bitgag/bridle, harness, saddle, blinders, hoofed boots, etc wind up getting busted out.   You can even have a custom made saddle which will of course cost you thousands of dollars, not to mention that you’ll have to endure the awkward silence after you tell the guy you want him to make the saddle to fit your girlfriend.

Finally, we have Show Ponies:

Show Ponies show off their dressage skills and often wear elaborate harnesses, plumes and so on.  This, I can see… I totally want to be a Show Pony!!!!  The accessories available are extensive and more are available all the time.  Generally speaking they are, like real riding tack, very expensive due to their custom or handmade nature and nearly exclusive use of leather.   A lot of the accessories have functional uses and are often crossed over into “cart” or “riding” play because it’s always good to be practical in your fetishes.  Like, I like to be spanked with a wooden spoon because whenever we can have one thing serve two purposes, it’s a good thing.  We save money, have less clutter around the house, and feel very smart and creative and smug about how “green” we’re being.

Plus every time I stir the stew I can’t help but smile and feel a little tingle…

Anyway, the pony/trainer relationship that focuses on the power exchange (aka fetish pony) has a lot greater potential for discipline/pain play than does the furry pony.  Crops, whips, etc are easily incorporated into the training.  The furry pony, on the other hand, will often enjoy loving discipline, focusing more on improvement of behavior or skills.  The loss of human faculties such as speech objectifies the pony, and the gentle caregiving of the trainer relaxes anxieties.  I guess I wouldn’t mind being groomed and paid attention to and told what to do for a couple of hours.  Get a bath, eat some carrots, have my hair combed and braided…

Some players will nearly always adopt the pony/trainer relationship, even in “normal life,” while others adopt it during specific role playing episodes.  I always thought that in every relationship there was a gardener and a rose.  Like, in my relationship with my husband, I’m totally the rose.  I guess that would make me the pony?

As long as I get to be the Show Pony, I’m okay with it.

So what do you think, Toy with Mes?  Have you ever played pony?  Is it the power exchange, or do you really really love horses?  Are you a most likely to be a Cart Pony, a Riding Pony, or are you more of a Show Pony like me?

Photo source

The Queen Of Everything About The Queen Of Everything

Crissy,a lifelong Rhode Islander, is 35 and has two little girls. Aside from doing a little bit of writing here and there, she doesn’t use a shred of her MA in English. She writes a blog where she is Queen of *&%$#@* Everything and reigns over her readers, whom she calls Queefs, with a loving but firm hand. In both 2008 and 2009 Crissy won the Blogger’s Choice Award for Hottest Mommy Blogger. In 2010, Crissy was chosen as one of Blogher's voices of the year.

Comments

  1. mommasgonemad says:

    Not a chance…I already feel like a Mule…adding sex into the mix would not make the Sexy time better…Red would have to find another mule for that job.

  2. I thought you were going to ask what my stud fee is.

  3. you're SUCH a show pony.

    if i get you a feathered headpiece will you wear it around the house?

    how about a tailed buttplug?? i'll get some chaps!!

  4. I don't know how people get into this kinky stuff, I could never keep a straight face for more than half a second. Love the image of the tailed buttplug, though, Ken.

  5. Ever since reading the Sleeping Beauty trilogy I have wanted a pair of pony boots!!!! I love CFM shoes, and those just seemed like the horse's neigh. Ahem. But I would just like to have those male slaves around my house, whinnying and snorting and butt plugged up and just generally preening. And I would like to snap 'em with a riding crop because I can. Ahem …

  6. I knew there was a greater reason why I always had an extreme desire to own a pony.

  7. I think a riding crop would be about as far as I would go on this one.

  8. Real men are riding ponies.

    This one actually brings to mind an old Jenna Jameson movie called Satyr. During the course of the movie she is transformed via magic and ends up being done up as a stylized unicorn. I'd totally build a stable for that.

  9. Somebodytolove says:

    Don’t quote me on this, but ‘furry’ ponies sound like they fall under the larger ‘furry’ category to me. These are people who have an alternate animal persona (usually a dog/wolf or fantasy creature, I think) that exists in an alternate world and interacts with other ‘furries’. I’ve heard of people who dress up as their ‘furries’ before, both for sex and for everyday life. The costumes can get quite elaborate.

  10. She loves them in a normal way. But there are some people who love ponies so much, they actually want to BE them. whinnying and snorting and butt plugged up and just generally preening.

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