I know a lot of guys aren’t always into hearing about our “mushy” desires but if they took a moment to understand how some of us women work, they would reap the benefits tenfold! There is a certain art that comes with turning a woman on, and I’m sorry fellas, but it involves more than a few nipple tweaks and a blow on the vagina! And girls, let’s learn to enjoy foreplay and join in the fun. Guys love to be touched, rubbed, and licked – and not just on their penis.
Some of us need a sorta warm up before we can actually get hot! Becoming more familiar with some sensual ways to turn your partner on before doing the actual deed will really help to steam things up and get sexy!
So what is this whole being sensual thing?
When a sensual atmosphere is created for your partner it helps them to step into a more relaxed state and become at ease to move into a place where they can let loose and be completely open. Helping your partner to accomplish these feelings will allow them to be open to receiving as much pleasure as possible because their mind are calm and they are comfortable with you, as well as being in a heighten state of lust! In turn these feelings will lead to a deeper intimate connection when one feels comfortable and confident in the bedroom with their partner. Being sensual means taking ones time to please and appreciate the other person’s body and staying in the moment of pleasure with them. Not solely focusing on what your wants and needs are, your climax or orgasm may be the goal, but learn to enjoy the process and expand your techniques of foreplay. Focus on the pleasure you are manifesting by playing with your partner like a complex instrument.
Some fun goodies to add into the mix!
There are so many things to toy around with in the love making department but keeping it simple with these few main tools can add a sensual edge to you bedroom fun. Candles, incense, oils, music, and, of course, sex toys are necessities for this love making feast!
Light some candles and pull out your aphrodisiac oils of rose, jasmine, cinnamon or ylang ylang (there are many to choose from), dab the sheets and pillows so that the intoxicating scent takes over your senses. Play some soft tantra music or smooth love making vibes (think Marvin Gaye). Enjoy this sensual ambiance you’ve created! Invite your partner to lay down as you massage them, moving to intimate places that you may have never paid a lot of attention to before.
Giving and receiving
Taking turns during this sensual experience allows for each partner to be pampered for a little bit. Let them climax a few times before you even begin the main act; show them that there are levels to the pleasure that you can provide. Do not rush, make them feel validated and important, and make them feel that it is all about them during this moment in time. When it’s your turn, lay back, kick YOUR feet up and enjoy! Be an amazing giver and an amazing receiver. How doesn’t want to see their partner in that pure place of sheer ecstasy!
By giving out suggestive directions in a loving encouraging way, we open up communication with our partner and we become comfortable in owning our pleasure. When we are able to say” right there”, “I like that” or “I don’t like that” We are taking charge of our sexuality, in turn allowing us to be more comfortable with ourselves and our partner. Being comfortable makes the sex so much more enjoyable! Creating this sensual time instead of always jumping straight into the act of sex gives partners a moment to establish a deeper level of vulnerability and trust and these two things are very beneficial for an awesome sex life!
The last few tips I would say are most important for creating a sensual experience with your partner. Learn to stay in the moment and to let go of expectations and roll with the flow.
Staying in the moment is super important; how can our partners feel validated if they are performing marathon oral and we are counting how many eggs are left in the carton for tomorrow’s breakfast? I know sex can be a time to tune out but we need to tune out of our normal worries and tune directly and solely into the pleasure that we are receiving at that moment. Look them in the eye, make some noise, and let them know you are so so happy!
Letting go of expectations is equally important because when we create all of the ideas in our head we are kind of ruining the surprising WOW factor that sex can offer us, and isn’t that what it’s all about? I mean who reads a book knowing the climax and the ending!? Don’t ruin your happy ending, just let the story happen, let it flow naturally, and accept the pleasure that is being offered and given to you, bask in it and be happy and satisfied.
Maybe all the fun can be had in the sensual? Really, the best sex is when the foreplay is hot and passionate, and you are truly connected as one!
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