Menopause: Finding Your Groove When Mother Nature Screws You Over!


menopauseQuick, Pop Quiz …

When you think of SEXY…what top 10 words come to mind?




What about sex? Or naked? Maybe lover? I am sure many words come to mind when you think about what is sexy, or makes you feel sexy.

I can guarantee you that this does NOT come to mind….


You see, when we think Menopause, we think hot flashes, hormone surges, mood swings and my personal favorite…DRY VAGINA!

What the fuck?

Women go their whole lives giving. We give to our families, we give to our kids, our spouse, our work, our friends, our organizations!

We give pleasure to our bodies…or at least I hope you do! If you don’t, you need to go back into the archives and read about masturbation, oral sex, vibrators, quickies, riding the crimson wave! Girl, I’ll wait…go…READ!

The Menopausal Clusterfuck

Okay, so you’re back…and now we’re going to talk about the clusterfuck that menopause is for women. Add to that Peri Menopause, yes that lovely little PRE menopause kick in the taco that sneaks up WAY before menopause even shows up.

My mom was starting menopause in her late 40’s…oh…lookie here…I’m entering my late 40’s soon…Fan. Fucking. Tastic.

So, ladies, I am pre-emptively challenging you to get your proverbial vagina together and get a plan in place LONG before Mother Nature has her hissy fit and lays down the holy smack on your sex life.

5 Tips To Enjoying Sex During (Peri) Menopause

Have A Plan

For the love of LUBE woman! Have a plan. Stock up on a fantastic lubricant that is ALWAYS within arm’s reach of your sexy time. Read up on Menopause and what you can expect. Be prepared for the mood swings, and the hot flashes and your body calling mutiny on you! When you have a plan in place, it’s much easier to find a short cut on your roadmap!

Explore Natural Options

You are NOT required to go the traditional route of hormone replacement therapy. Now, I’m no doctor, but I am an expert on my own vagina and I know that I want to make sure that I am exploring EVERY single option open to me. That might mean seeking out a natural practitioner or visiting the health food cooperative and speaking to the Naturopathic Pharmacist. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you know what your options are and go the direction that your body is begging you to go.

Take Charge

Don’t let the media and society tell you that you are no longer sexy. DAMN it woman! When we hit our peak, we are sexy as hell! No longer worried about pregnancies and a monthly period, we can finally give ourselves permission to have sex whenever the hell we want it! Help educate your partner on what is going to happen to your body, your moods and give them some tools and tips to help you get through it. Nothing is sexier than a partner that goes out of their way to help us get through stressful times!


I don’t know any other way to say it…HAVE SEX! Have a LOT of sex! Have it every day if you want! The old wives tale may be true that if you don’t use it you lose it. Ask anyone who has been celibate for a period of time. That desire can wane. You can get it back, but why take that risk? Celebrate your new-found freedom in a body that is ready to have sex. Maybe not always willing…SEE #1!

Find a New Normal

Somehow, we have allowed the media to force feed us this bullshit story that you have to be young and thin to be sexy. I say fuck that! I say we are sexy…ALL OF US! Find a new normal. Seek out women who are in their 40’s and 50’s and 60’s who are DEAD SEXY. Look at Meryl Streep or Sophia Loren…these women could bottle their sexy and sell it! Begin there and keep learning about what is sexy for YOU. Give yourself permission to create a new normal, for yourself and your partner.

Lovers and friends, we will all face the challenges of cruising through decades and the changes that come with it. It’s time to push back against what is “normal” and create a new dialogue!

Your Challenge:

I challenge you this week to seek out a new normal! Find a sexy role model! Hit the sex shop and stock up on lubricant and maybe even a new vibrator. Let’s start the conversation anew as to what is sexy, what is desirable and what a woman approaching menopause or in the middle of menopause needs to keep her own fires burning.

Do Tell Toy With Mes …

Have you started going through Peri-Menopause 0r Menopause yet? Have you noticed a change in your desire to have sex? What tips or tricks have you tried? What plan of action do you have in place to overcome your symptoms and back to having a healthy sex life?

Make sure not to miss any of our posts, reviews or contests by subscribing to the Toy With Me enewsletter today!

Image courtesy of africa /



  1. Judith B.

    All is not lost. Don’t give up hope. Let me tell you about my experience as Post Menopausal. I remember feeling really concerned about the constellation of problems headed my way before I was pre-menopausal. I guess I was one of the lucky ones having little of any problems with the hot flashes, sleepless nights, etc. I think I’ve always had some level of mood swings (hot tempered redhead?) so that did not change; except improvement due to personal outlook changes. But the vaginal dryness came. I am now 20 years after pre-menopause. I find that on occasion (yay!), I have natural lubrication, but mostly no. So what’s the deal? Thanks to store bought lubricants, I’m happy.

    But good news! For me, the plus is that the drive and the excitement, and the pleasure is there is spades. It seems that the “wisdom” that comes with age can make up for everything else. No boredom here. Things are even better, if you can imagine that. My advice? Stay in the best shape possible and maintain your health and get ready for the best ride ever.

    • Natalie

      BANG ON (no pun intended) Judith! It is true that Wisdom is sexy! In fact a woman wise about her own body and what gives her pleasure is beyond sexy to men! I love reading that your desire is back and in high drive! And am I right when I say LUBE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND??!?!?!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *