Comments on: I Once Had A Creepy Stalker

By: Susan (woo222)

Susan (woo222) — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:33:46 +0000

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA This cracks me the fuck up!! Only you would come up with a plan that awesome!! You are such a rockstar!!!!!!!

By: ScienceGeek

ScienceGeek — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:32:56 +0000

I discovered a unique by-product of my job is that discussing it is possibly the most effective anti-stalker/creepy jerk method in the world.
I once got stuck sitting next to this creep on the tram. Complete degenerate, which, hey, normally I get along with (like minds, and all ), but this guy was clearly had some sort of size issue and was trying to be intimidating.
I, on the other hand, had spent the entire week experimenting on mice determined to gnaw off my hand, so I was in no mood for bullshit. So I started chatting about work with my co-worker, comparing how many small, helpless critters we had killed and carved up that week.
At one point, my co-worker had to relocate, which meant she politely requested that he move his feet off the seat opposite mine so she could sit there. He moved his feet…. and stuck his hands down his pants and started massaging his balls.
Co-worker and I shared a single glance, then, evil glints a twinkling in our eyes, started comparing our current work to the days when we had to dissect out the mice’s testicles. His hands stilled, then edged slowly out of his pants, like his balls were sending the frantic message of ‘Don’t get their attention!’.
Coworker mentioned how amazing it was that you just pulled on a vessel, and out popped their testes. ‘Like Jack in the box!’ I cried, cutely, as we giggled about how soft and fleshy they were, how they’d bounce up and down when you jiggled them.
The tram pulled up to its stop, and the jerk threw himself out. I gave my coworker a wide eyed look, and said innocently,
‘Was it something we said?’

We laughed about it for, oh, at least a week.

By: Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:38:58 +0000

I’m still shocked he didn’t hang up. I SO would have.

By: subWOW

subWOW — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:23:49 +0000

Nicely done! I have to say Matt had excellent manners. He didn’t interrupt or simply hang up. Or were your friends so good that he couldn’t get in a word at all?

By: Mario (Brewed For Thought)

Mario (Brewed For Thought) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:18:16 +0000

What a coincidence, that’s where I save the ear from the last blogger I stalked.

(Ok, I’ll stop now)

By: Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:12:38 +0000

Ah, but I save my undies in a jar. See? CREEPY.

By: Mario (Brewed For Thought)

Mario (Brewed For Thought) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:11:40 +0000

*shakes head*

This is how you got the stalker in the first place. Keep telling people you love them and I’ll just have to keep digging through your garbage for discarded underwear.

By: Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:07:18 +0000

But of course, Mario. You’re fucking hilarious.

By: Mario (Brewed For Thought)

Mario (Brewed For Thought) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:02:15 +0000

You…love….me?

By: Enamored - but not in an icky creep way

Enamored - but not in an icky creep way — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:50:57 +0000

@Melissa ~ yeah, but in this case, for all the right reasons….muah ha ah ha hah….