Condoms For Kids – How Young Is Too Young?

When I first heard about this, I wanted to throw up. Actually, I still want to throw up. I also want to become some kind of an activist or something, but I probably won’t do that either because I’m kinda lazy.

A company in Switzerland has introduced a new kind of condom. It’s called The Hotshot and it’s extra-small (1.7 inches in diameter as opposed to 2 inches for regular ones, and 7.4 inches in length) because it’s designed for 12-14 year-old-boys.

Close your mouth.

Does this kind of horrify you? Maybe it’s because I have condom issues, but I am horrified that there is a need for this at all. As a mother, I just don’t like to think about kids that young having sex, but this condom was developed in response to a recent study done by The Center for Development and Personality Psychology at Basel University in Switzerland that showed young teens engaging in unprotected sex resulting (duh) in conception, thus prompting several family planning organizations to campaign for it’s production.

So now there are kid-sized condoms.

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO, TOY WITH MES?

My god how things have changed in 24 years only a few short years.  When I was that young,  I was still playing with Barbies (actually, I still do play with Barbies, but you know, I’m weird like that).  Sure, my  Barbies had some raunchy encounters, but you know.  That was Barbie sex.  I remember sitting in a tree house at my friend Katie’s and giggling and swearing up and down that we would never have sex with boys because we don’t want them to pee on us. That’s what we thought. We thought sex was kissing and then the boy peed on you.  We used to make up new lyrics to songs on the radio about boys peeing on girls.

Shut up.

We were 12!!!

That’s what 12- year-olds should be doing.

I stayed in the dark about sex until Freshman year of high school, or thereabouts. While I stopped thinking boys actually peed on you, I was really fuzzy on how exactly it all went down. My mom probably would have told me if I had asked her, but I was too mortified to bring it up to her, so Katie and I kept on theorizing and giggling and sneaking her older brother’s college anatomy books up to that tree house. I mean, we didn’t even know any sex words beyond penis and vagina, let alone having a clue what to do with them. My very first locker in Jr. High had “I wish every girl in the school would swallow my cum” written on the inside of the door, and I remember thinking “what an idiot! He spelled GUM wrong. SHEESH!” Once the sun came over the mountain a couple of years later and I learned what cum was, I felt pretty stupid for having shown the kid with the locker next to mine how some moron didn’t know how to spell GUM. No wonder he looked at me like I was clueless.

But don’t worry about poor wee little Crissy. Ninth grade Health class with Mr. Murgo cleared up my confusion. He looked and spoke exactly like Ferris Bueller’s Economics teacher, btw.

Anyone? Anyone?

Try watching that dude put a condom on a banana and not lose your shit, I dare you.

Thank goodness for ol’ Mr. Murgo, hilarious as he was, because he took care of all that naivety, but even though I knew what to do with the penis and the vagina and the cum, I still wasn’t ready to put it into practice! This is why I am so horrified. These are such different times and it makes me so sad that CHILDREN! are having sex.

But don’t take my horror at the mini condoms as disapproval, Toy with Mes. If there is a need for them, then they should make them available. I hope they ship a few of those bad boys over here to the states, too. I’m sure our statistics on young teens having sex are quite similar, if not even more shocking than Europe’s, but remember how I mentioned that I’m lazy? Yeah. I wont’ be going to check the facts on that one, but you know what I’m saying.  Most people know a young teen mom or dad, don’t they? That’s why this condom development is a positive one if you ask me. The only thing more horrifying than kids having sex, is kids having STDs or abortions or even worse, babies who will no doubt be abused or neglected unless there’s some serious intervention and support.  That’s not to say that teen parents are bad people, they’re just immature people, and that’s a recipe for disaster.

I’m almost 36 and I’m barely mature enough to handle parenthood (but then again, I still play with Barbies, so maybe that’s just me).  I couldn’t even keep a goldfish alive when I was in college.

So there you have my opinion on the kid-sized condoms.  They’re horrifyingly necessary.  I’m sure you all have something to say about this, so go to it Toy with Mes. Tell me how old you were when you lost your virginity, and if you think that was a good idea.  Was your 12 year-old-self mature enough to have sex and use protection? Is there a better solution to the problem of kids having sex?

Toy With Me About Toy With Me

Comments

  1. Well….I don't think it is good idea. I read entire article but still in confuse with child condoms. If you think about the size of pennis then you realize it's don't have perfect length. so you are not able to make condom with perfect size like we measure 6 inch for us.

  2. I don't feel that that's too young. We NEED to have condoms in child sizes in this day and age. Kids are curious and it WILL happen. So atleast then it's protected. I personally lost my virginity in 6th grade. I was 11. My boyfriend was actually in 5th grade but was also 11. BARELY. We were reeaallllyy young. I had been curious ever since we took sex ed in 5th grade. And he got curious when he learned it. SO we tried it. It happens. I'm now 17 and regret it but I didn't realize what sex was supposed to be back then. I just thought its something you do for fun and that there could be consequences. The FIRST thing they taught us was about STDs. They taught us the dangers of sex but never really told us what sex was or when you should do it. They still somehow made it sound fun though. Like they told us about this superfun thing to do and then told us that we shouldn't do it or we'll get an STD. So we were like "Okkayyy? Well neither of us have had sex so no STDs so no problem. I guess we can do it then!" A couple of girls at my school got pregnant when I was in 7th grade also. So they were 12 or 13. So yeaa. I think its NECESSARY!

  3. I was 13 when I lost my virginity and the male was 18. He has just graduated high school and I was about to go into the 8th grade. I made sure that we used a condom (it was a red-colored condom) because I was worried that bleeding would be really obvious and gross, although it ended up not being that bad. We stopped using them after the first time, because we both thought I was too young to get pregnant. A month later, I was pregnant…and miscarried soon after we found out. Fast-forward by 6 years…we married one another.

  4. For the first time since I read anything on here, I totally disagree with you. Dan and I just recorded a podcast on this topic to be posted later this week and we almost came to blows….well, we would have if we didn't live 2000 miles apart.

  5. SkyddsDrake says:

    I was 23 when I lost my virginity. I knew quite a few of the ins and outs of sex by the age of 10 because, well, my mother didn't have a filter when it came to talking to me about sex. It pressed me to learn on my own, and I did. I knew the risks, and I chose not to take them.

    That being said, I had many friends having sex at very early ages, including one girl who was having sex in the sixth grade. Why? She had the body of a 15/16 year old and her parents were too drunk to give a flying fig what she was doing. I had friends who had abortions pre-high school. I had friends who had STDs they were dealing with. What was the trend I noticed with most of them? Absent parents/guardians/caring adults. People need to stop blaming the media and society in general and taking an active bloody role in doing something themselves.

    As for condoms made for teens? Good. I've worked with teens for years now. Handing out condoms has been part of that gig the whole time. I've had 12 year olds ask for them. I've always been concerned about whether or not they would work for them, because (as someone else pointed out) having an improperly fitted condom is about as worthless as not using one at all. Why are we teaching kids about having sex early on? Because they'll bloody well work it out on their own anyway. Best if they have information to work with, and if the right information is given maybe they'll hold off for awhile. *Shrugs*

    • Hands on parenting and proper education will hopefully encourage them to hold off until they are emotionally (not just physically) ready.

  6. I was less than a month away from my 17th birthday when I lost mine. If I could do it over I would have so waited longer. Even at that age I did it for the wrong reasons. When I was in school, there were plenty of teen pregnancies. One girl got pregnant in the 8th grade and there were at least 5 other girls in 8th grade who were having sex. There was another girl who I rode the school bus with who had sex at 12. So yeah…it's been happening young for awhile.

  7. Personally, I think that when I started dating a senior when I was a freshman, my mom should have sat down with me and had a real conversation about sex, safe sex and consequeces. I think she would have felt just as awkward about it as I would have though, so it never happened. I also look back and think the only reason I did have sex was because I was told I couldn't by my mom. That kind of sex ed is useless.

  8. stoogepie says:

    Did I forget to mention that this post reminded me of the first time I peed on a girl? Ah, good times. Youth is wasted on the young.

  9. Wow… I clicked on this post to comment about how I still play with Barbies too. Then I read the comments and though, "Well suck me sideways. I guess I totally missed the point." Except I totally didn't… I grew up with my grandma and she bought me one of those, "This is your body" books. That was my sex talk. Both my parents were kind of sluts, so I grew up knowing I didn't want to put a child through what I went through (Mom preggers at 14, dad was 16, mom still has really nothing to do with me) and I knew that having sex meant the possibility of conceiving a child with that person. So I waited until I was 17 and I found my husband. I've only been with him, and that's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it.

    I'm not delusional enough to think that having talks with my son about this when he grows up is going to stop him from having sex, but I agree that children need to be well prepared in the event that they don't take the 'abstinence' route. Let's not be daft, people. Abstinence-only sex ed is a rampant breeding ground for rumors and false information. Anyone remember the 'douching with Mountain Dew' rumor? I'd rather my child(ren) know that that sort of shit isn't gonna work, and that they know what sort of shit is going to work if used properly.

    That's not to say that kids shouldn't have the importance of abstinence impressed upon them, but it's like putting a four-wheeler in front of a 14 year old boy and saying, "Don't ride it" without telling them that if they do ride it they should wear proper safety gear and abide by the rules of the road/trail. That child could kill themselves without being properly educated about something that can be potentially dangerous. Not to say sex kills, but it's an analogy.

    Wow, I meant to make this lighthearted, but holy shitmonkeys. Soapbox City, whoa. /preaching

  10. lost my virginity when i was 15. that's when i finally gave up barbies. thank you for that! (it had gotten hard to hide the fact that i still created barbie worlds and drama in my basement.)

    but i came close to losing it when i was 13 and actually felt very physically ready. MMMMMMmmmm. i'll never forget that time after school in chris's attic. i was soaked!

    anywiz, what you said … "The only thing more horrifying than kids having sex, is kids having STDs or abortions," that shit is going to happen. it's there in the numbers, it's in the comments and the stories on this post, it exists!!!! stop with the fucking blinders people.

    why in the name of all that is good and holy don't we want to educate and protect our kids!!!!! safety is all i want for my daughter.

    keeping her from having sex? not a big concern really.
    protecting her from getting pregnant, an STD, date-raped, etc? HUGE. huge concern.

  11. I know there are exceptions, mostly all the women who are bloggers on here, but honestly, the parenting and talking needs to be done to boys out there. I don't imagine there's a ton of 12 or 14 year old girls out there being total horn dogs. The guys are guided by the dicks and usually the ones pushing the girls into sexual activity, and I would think older guys than the girls pushing it on them. When I was 12 or 14 I don't think I was all horned up and staring at tits, but as soon as 16 hit, that's all I could see and think about. So, it makes sense that older boys are pressuring younger girls to get involved…they've hit their sexual drive and aren't mature enough to know how to control it and they go after younger girls who are about the same maturity level as them, but 3 or more years younger. Fathers need to talk with their sons about respecting women and the ramifications of sex and pressuring girls, etc. I would imagine there's a lot more moms talking to their daughters at a young age about sex and emotions and protecting themselves, but if sons heard the same thing from their dads, the world would be a lot better off in this respect.

    • A perspective not mentioned yet. Loved to hear more input from other readers regarding this.

    • Joe you are awesome, and absolutely right! I was afraid to say anything because I didn't want to get accused of "male bashing" but yeah, dads really need to step up to the plate. My husband did, but considering that most of my son's friends came to him with sex questions, I don't think too many other dads bothered.

  12. mepsipax says:

    Ugh….that is so wrong….must needs talk to son.

  13. I didn't have sex until 17. We used a condom and I have no regrets.
    But at 12? Ha! My friends and I were immature enough that we actually used a box of condoms that were stolen from a friend's older sister to make water balloons. We knew what they were intended for, which is why we thought it would be funny to do that; because we were still at the age where sex was "icky" and funny.

    I've got mixed feeling on the whole kiddie condom thing. On one hand I find it disturbing because of the age group they're geared toward. It's almost as if by putting this product out, some people are saying "Yeah we know the little ones are having sex. It's normal at that age. Just give 'em a condom." It's also disturbing that they call it "the Hotshot"… doesn't that sound like something to make 12-14 year old boys think they'll be uber cool if they start using these things? Meaning, even boys who haven't had sex yet might re-think their virginal status.

    On the other hand, the scary truth is that things have changed and kids ARE having sex that young, so it makes sense to make protection available for them.

    I think it all boils down to how the parents handle it.

  14. stoogepie says:

    OMG, you had a tree house?!? How awesome is that? You could have gotten laid every other day when you were twelve in that tree house and nobody would have known a thing! I had to rent hotel rooms when I was twelve to get my shag on.

    According to the Department of Health and Human Services, about 13% of kids have sex before 15. That's a lot of kids, to be sure, but maybe not as bad as everyone thought. Also according to the DHHS, if a sexually active teen does not use contraception, she faces a 90% percent chance of pregnancy within a year of her first sexual experience.

    One thing to consider is that many of the girls having sex have no need for these condoms because they are fucking grown men. There are not a lot of very recent statistics, but as of about 2002 better than half of all pregnant girls fifteen and under conceived that baby with a man eighteen or older.

    And, come on, don't blame the media. The media doesn't cause kids to drink or smoke or play video games or drive too fast or IM too much. If parents are concerned about any of those things, they can do their best to educate and discipline their kids and hopefully it sticks. Nobody in the world seems to think that warning their kids about drinking or smoking or taking drugs or swimming in alligator-infested swamps makes them more likely to do it, but a whole lot of people seem to think that ignorance is the best antidote to the problem of underage sex. And let's be honest, sometimes kids simply do things they know are not in their best interests in spite of the best parental intentions and admonitions. We all did. (Well, if you didn't, you missed out. It's fun!)

    It's also worth noting that, while sex is more pervasive in the media than ever, with everything from soft-core porn available on cable to ultra-hard-core porn easily available on the internet, teen pregnancy and teen abortion are both way down over the last twenty years. Yes, as bad as it is in the US, it's still way down. That's due, it seems, to some combination of education and widely available, varied forms of contraception.

    As for whether teen parents are more likely to be abusive or neglectful, the answer is they absolutely are. In fact, while again there are not a lot of recent statistics, children born to mothers age 15 and younger are twice as like to abuse or neglect their children compared even to children born to young mothers ages 20-21 See George, R. M., & Lee, B.J. (1997). Abuse and neglect of the children. In R. Maynard (Ed.), Kids having kids (pp. 205-230). Washington, DC: The Urban Institute Press. And Crissy is right: adolescent mothers with the support and intervention of an adult are much less likely to abuse or neglect their children. See Flanagan, P., Coll, C., Andreozzi, L., & Riggs, S. (1995). Predicting maltreatment of children of teen mothers. Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 149, 451-455.

    Anyways, just to ease the uncomfortableness some people feel, everyone can make believe these condoms are for pencil-dicked dudes. There, now. Doesn't everyone feel better?

    So, there's no tree house lesbian story you care to share about you and Katie? Just wondering.

    • stoogepie: if there isn't a story, i'm sure you and i could make one up.

      • The story involves them peeing on EACH OTHER doesn't it?

        • You're all sick!! I like it ;)

          Thanks Stoogepie for the stats.

          • Katie and I never peed on each other. It never occurred to us, actually. We did, however, find some gay porn(just pictures of naked men posing together) in her *neighbor's* tree house. That totally blew our minds. "BOYS EVEN PEE ON EACH OTHER? And in each other's MOUTHS? EWWWWWW!!!"
            It's surprising we didn't turn into lesbians due to the sheer horror of what boys do!

    • Anonymous2 says:

      “The media doesn’t cause kids to drink or smoke or play video games or drive too fast or IM too much.”

      Really? You don’t think that any of the drinking, smoking, sex and drugs (implied or otherwise) that kids see every day in the media makes them think “hm. That looks cool. I wanna try it!”? Or what about the girls who starve themselves because they want to look like actresses and models they’re shown? Especially at that young age, the media is a HUGE influence. After all, it’s part of everyday life.

      Now, that doesn’t mean we can’t educate our kids about all of this. I know that personally I was told over and over (both in and out of school) what is and isn’t realistic about the media and sex and was far better off because of it. I didn’t end up losing my virginity until I was 17, and it was when I was ready and with someone I cared about. If we let our kids know that 12 years old is WAY too young to be Doing It no matter what it looks like the people on TV are doing, I think we’d have much less of a problem.

      *climbs off soapbox* That is all.

  15. Wow. Not one comment about the teen pregnancy pacts?

    Anyway, I lost mine at 16, unwillingly. Not a pleasant memory to say the least. But, now that I’m a parent to two boys, I have realized that sexuality isn’t just one big talk. It isn’t just about sex as we see it (in an adult perspective) but a constant, on-going dialogue. I’m reading a great book about this very thing, titled ‘Everything you NEVER wanted your kids to know about SEX (but were afraid they’d ask)’ by Justin Richardson M.D. and Mark A. Schuster M.D., Ph. D. (No, I have no affiliation with this book. I found this book after having a situation at my sons daycare. He and another 4 year old (a girl) were exploring the others body, innocently. Our daycare provider and I figured a unified front and a clear message that was consistent was the best bet.)

    Very interesting tactics of how to manage this as a parent, not interested in ignoring the topic as your parents may have (hell, I never even got a ‘talk’ after I became a woman).

    Bottom line, knowledge is power.

  16. What can I tell ya? I'm 21 and I'm as virgin as my 12-year-old self. Beat you all, eh? … It just hasn't happened. *shrug* I'm not afraid or anything. Oh, well.

    And about those mini-sized condoms. If they're needed, be it. Although it's horrifying… Oh, kids, go play with your Barbies… *sigh*

  17. Wicked Shawn says:

    I think, unfortunately, too many parents don't talk to their kids and these mini-condoms are necessary. Damn! I am seriously wordy today. BTW, I was 14 when I lost mine, not by choice, didn't have sex again until after my first child was 5 months old. Think that one over. Life is beautiful for teen moms. I should do some lectures. Anybody got a teen they want me to talk to?

  18. Wicked Shawn says:

    This weekend, my 17 year old son informed me that he and his 17 year old girlfriend have decided that they will be having sex for the first time next weekend after prom. He was telling us in advance, as we had always asked him to do. He let us know that she has been on the pill for 8 months and he has condoms and will be using them. They have talked this over on several ocassions, she has been pressing him on the issue for a few months but he wanted to wait until he was sure. He is sure now and wanted us to know. I stayed calm and then had dreams for the rest of the weekend about back when he was 6 and 7 and needed me to clean out little cuts and bruises.

    I guess I could have not taught him about sex when he was 8 or 9 and he could have been fumbling through it behind some bleachers when he was 12 or 13. Right now, I am feeling pretty good about teaching him while he was young.

  19. Wicked Shawn says:

    Okay, pardon me, but how can you say "I lost my virginity at 14" then follow it up with, "Why are we teaching kids about sex at 9?" anyway? One answers the other. We want our children to be well informed and prepared. I have taught my children, openly and honestly all of their lives. As situations and questions have come up, they have always gotten the 100% age appropriate truth.

    • Perhaps I should have clarified by definition of "teaching kids about sex". At my house, the only information I got was that I was not allowed to have sex until I was married. (Hello? What do most teenagers do when they are told they CAN'T do something?) And at school, sex ed was simply very minor bits of information of the technical terms for anatomy and then a few days covering STD's and abstinence. I don't ever remember hearing about safe sex, in the form of using condoms to prevent pregnancy. Mostly what we "learned" was that you could get an STD with unprotected sex. There was of course brief mention that this was how babies were made, but at 12, most of us figured "that wouldn't happen to us". When I was 12, along with most of my friends, we were still playing with dolls.

  20. abstinence? sure, present it as an option–hell, it's the ONLY 100% effective birth control method there is.

    however, the idea that telling kids to "just say no" will REALLY prevent the forbidden behavior? so ignorant and myopic it makes me shit myself with convulsive laughter.

    eschewing REAL education which enumerates the pros and cons of various sex acts is a path to disaster… the quickest way to make a kid do something is to tell them they can't, or they shouldn't, because they're too young.

    goddamned kids are always smarter than we think they are… ;)

  21. catherine says:

    We have to stop pretending that sexual urges and feelings don`t happen before age (insert `appropriate` age here). I was very sexual at 12, but I was sexual solo. My father taught 7th grade, caught a young couple in the act in a stairwell at school. We had mothers to be as young as 11, in the 80s.

    As parents, the onus is on us. If we don’t have age appropriate conversations with our kids they will learn from their friends or (worse yet) the hypocrisy that the school systems dish out. I would rather my girls not be sexually involved at age 12. But my preference in that regard should not cause a risk to their health.

  22. I was 13 when I lost my virginity and somehow, even with a horrifying low rate of condom use in those early years, still have yet to get pregnant. What's more important than making kid-condoms is making sex education more comprehensive, more encouraging with regards to contraception, and more based in raising self-esteem and interpersonal skills. Ask yourselves this: would a 13-year-old girl be having sex if she didn't believe she'd be happier making someone else happy?

  23. I have 2 boys. They are 7 1/2 & 4 so the very thought of these condoms makes me want to throw up too! Good lord, if my oldest has sex at 12, I could become a grandmother at age 42. Ack! That’s it – I’m locking them in their rooms until they’re 18.

  24. OMG, NO WAY was I ready to have sex at 12! I remember thinking french kissing was gross and way too much at 13 and 14! But my BFF's boyfriend lost his virginity at 12, so I guess some people are ready? I don't even know. And it totally horrifies me that someday when I have kids I'm going to have to worry about this so early

  25. I was far enough into my 20's to at least believe I was an adult when I had sex for the first time and I'm married to the guy now………………Yep, I was a big ole virgin for a really long time.

    My bestest friend ever was having sex when she was 12….she was dating a 15 year old guy. I was horrified and swore that I'd never have sex, ever. Well, I eventually did (exhibit one is daughter, exhibit two is son). I still can't fathom having sex as a 12 year old………..eeewwwhhh

  26. I just realized I never shared with you all. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and my boyfriend was 15 (HI MOM! SORRY.). We always used a condom and eventually went on the pill. I wasn't ready at all, but at least we knew to not get pregnant. I remember thinking it would be kind of cute to have a baby though. Jeezus. I have daughters. I don't like to think of them doing what I did. Oy.

  27. Wait! I accidentally touched her boob once. Does that count?

  28. I blame the media for the most part, as well as the BAD parents out there that think its the school's responsibility to do the teaching of manners and right and wrong (my mother was a teacher's aide for ten years and this was told to one of the teachers that she worked with). But SERIOUSLY!? Come ONE people!

    Another bone of contention for me? Teaching abstinence in schools gets kids NOWHERE. In my school there was a lot of teen pregnancy, not as much as some other schools in my county, but enough to notice and for me to shake my head and wonder and sigh about how they have probably ruined the rest of their lives. I say probably because i am sure there are other mothers/parents out there that had their children in their teens and grew up to be strong and successful adults. But in all likelihood that is the MINORITY of teen parents of this day and age.

    I KNOW that i am no where near ready to have kids, and i will have kids after i get married. I did have sex with my first serious boyfriend at the tender age of 19. All through high school everyone that i talked to and said that i was a virgin was shocked and regarded me as crazy because i hadn't banged anyone yet. Do i regret that decision? No way in hell.

    The fact that companies are making kiddie condoms just goes to show how far our society had fallen.

    • It's unfathomable when some parents decide to hand parenting over to the state.

    • Given that teen mothers are the norm throughout history, except for a relatively brief period in fairly recent history when it was highly stimatized, I don't think smaller condom for young people is a sign of anything, especially not the collapse of society.

  29. I had sex at 15; not even a thought about a condom or what might happen. Idiots, both of us. Some kids will still do it despite our best efforts; it's best to be sure they are prepared.

  30. Not My Real Name says:

    This just makes me want to cry. Ahhhhhhgggggg. I remember when I found out my daughter did "it". She was 17. She's 19 now. I'm still crying. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  31. Lost my virginity at 16, was pretty much "two thrusts and a quiver." Never even gave any thought to wearing a condom back in the good old days. She said she was on the pill and thats all I cared about at the time. Pretty freking scary when you think about it.

    I think that if my parents had been open with me about sex and had we had discussions about family planning, abortions, condoms, STD's and the like, then I would have acted very very differently.

    How young is too young though? At what age are you telling your daughter to keep condoms in her purse "just in case." 14? Thats a tough call.

    Hell, I thought I was being progressive when I put a box of condoms in my daughters Easter basket when she was 16

  32. I didn't say all teen parents are abusive or neglectful. What I meant was they need help and support and intervention from people who can help guide them to being good parents. These are immature people we're talking about, and even though you managed to pull it off, you cannot tell me you were ready to have a baby and that you needed zero help and zero support from adults. But thanks, Anonymous, for assuming the worst about what I'm saying.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sorry, I'm a longtime reader and fan, both here and on your own blog, and *I* personally understand what you meant. But the words "… babies who will no doubt be neglected or abused without some serious intervention and support." did sting a little. More my fault than yours, really, since a lot of people treated me like I was an idiot just because I was young. I honestly didn't mean it as an insult or anything.

      I definitely wasn't ready to have a baby, I was young and dumb and pretty immature, too, or I wouldn't have ended up in that situation. But I changed. I'm no better than anyone else, but I did it mostly on my own, other than living with my mother. Who never babysat for free, and who I helped with the bills once I got a job when the baby was 4 months old (she, too, was a single mom by that time). I'm lucky, and I worked hard, and I did have my mom's support, and because of that we made it. Like I said, I know it's the exception, not the rule.

      And I posted anonymously (which I usually don't do) because I figured other *readers* might blast me. For being so young, etc, etc.

      • Hey, it's all good. No worries, sista. It's a sensitive issue and I think we've all got some strong emotions flying around. I'm sorry if what I said hurt. That was not my intention.

        • Anonymous says:

          It's cool. It did hurt a little, but that's not your fault. It's apparently (still) a more touchy topic for me than I realized! And, you are technically and statistically right.

          • I was an older teen, and have managed to have everything work out pretty well. I married my childs father and have been fortunate that he earns enough money to support us while I’ve been the stay at home mum. The reason I think that we are so quick to react is that in my experience no matter how good of a job you are doing there are always people who will judge you based on nothing else but the date on your birth certificate. For me it’s a group of mid-forties divorcee mums in the playground at my sons school. It’s hard to step away from being on the defensive…

  33. Anonymous says:

    As a parent of a 12 yr old, it does kinda make me want to throw up. However, said child was concieved when I was 14 and the "donor" was 13. So, I do understand.
    I have to agree with Vicky, though, that the blanket statement about teen parents being abusive or neglectful is pretty offensive. I've managed to raise a healthy, happy 12-yr-old who makes good grades, has friends, is involved in band and sports, and has never been abused or neglected. All with minimal support and no "intervention" (I shudder to think what you even meant by that; a mother's rights should not be based solely on age). I realize we're probably closer to the exception than the rule, but we're not alone!
    That being said, you can bet your ass I've already been talking to her about sex for years.

    • The vast vast majority of 14 year old mothers will make very poor mothers. No necessarily because they are bad people but because they just don't have the life skills that are required. The fact that you were able to overcome what must have been incredible challenges to become a good parent means you are the exception and hardly the rule.

      • Anonymous says:

        I know. I didn't mean that most teens would make good parents. I obviously didn't think through what I wrote. Sorry.

  34. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cd/Teenage_Birth_Rates_International_Comparison_Bar_Chart_2006.jpg

    so what does it mean that the US has 10x the teenage pregnancy rate of "condoms-for-kiddies" switzerland?

    ;)

  35. On a lighter note perhaps sex ed for kids should include videos of animals doing their thing. http://toywithme.com/silly/wild-things/ Especially the hippo – that should change some minds.

    • That's totally what I'm going to lead my daughter to believe. I just won't tell her it's only hippos that do that. ;)

  36. I'm a firm believer in children being the "product of their environment". Whose children are using these condoms? If they where available in Canada when my daughter was 12 or 13 it would not be her. Not because I would forbid it (that's just asking for rebellion, IMHO) but rather she was constantly educated about her body, puberty, love, caring, relationships and sex.

  37. well, better the condoms than putting a bunch of pubescent girls on synthetic hormones.

  38. I don't think that kids are having sex any earlier, I just think people talk about it more these days. I was also 14 with an older boyfriend, except we were well aware that pregnancy was a risk, and took precautions. So I don't think all kids are idiots, and irresponsible, but I understand that I was maybe in the minority. On the kids having kids bit, yes, 12-14 is waaay too young, teenagers in general are waaay too young, but I think that a blanket statement saying it will result in bad parents is unfair. My mother was 17 when she had me, and I am a university graduate who is doing what I want to do with my life. I know people who's parents were in the late thirties when they had their first child and they didn't do any better parenting-wise than mine. I think that young parents can do a fabulous job, but I think that they end up missing out on being a kid themselves.
    I think the itty bitty condoms are a good thing, but I think it is far more important to invest in educating kids on the risks of unprotected sex. You know, so they actually *use* those condoms.

    • Education is everything! Kudos to your mom, she obviously did a fabulous job raising you.

    • I was a teen mum, thanks for speaking up for us. I’d decided not to write a full comment myself because I might get passionate and rant about something that really wasn’t the focus of the post… So um… Thanks :D

  39. I played with transformers and skateboards when I was 14. Friggen ridiculous.

  40. I was 14 when I lost my virginity consensually. He was 16…. That was 15 years ago…

    While I am horrified and dismayed that there is a need for condoms specially fitted for the 12-14 age set, it IS a necessary evil. Having worked in a pediatrician's office I have seen firsthand the devastation faced by a child of only 12, 13 or 14 facing pregnancy. Add to that devastation the fact that many of these children thought that they were "safe" because they used condoms- not knowing that an improperly fitting condom is worse than useless!

    My own daughter is now 9 and not a day goes by that I don't pray and hope that she will wait until she's at least in her 20's before initiating sexual activity. However, I will not sit on my laurels and leave her unprepared in the eventuality that she does decide to engage in sexual activity; and if that involves purchasing teeny-tiny condoms for wee children, then so be it!

  41. i still haven't lost my virginity.

  42. I get it that kids will find out somewhere, but just like you said, at 12 the kids should still be in the tree house giggling about boys peeing on them and how gross that would be. When did we get away from kids being allowed time to be just kids. This, the child condoms and many other problems, is what occurs in a society that makes kids be mini grown ups in the clothes, mannerisms, and behavior. Scary times, for sure.

  43. I am not sure how I feel about this one. I was fourteen when I had sex for the first time. He was 18. Yes, I know, but he was still in high school. I went to two different high schools and both had an unreal rate of teen pregnancy. Often, the boy would say he never had sex with the girl, so she looked like she slept with anyone that would let her. 14 year olds are NOT ready for kids, they are still kids themselves. Unfortunately, at 14 the thought that I could get knocked up was never rolling around in my head. I did understand the concept of STD's and was suitably scared of that, though. I am not sure what to think about child size condoms. It truly is a scary thought that we need them. I know that kids will be kids, and they will do things that they were told they shouldn't, due to their immaturity and the fact that their brain isn't even fully developed. What I don't understand is why as a society we are making it so socially acceptable for babies to be having sex. Why are we teaching our 8 and 9 year olds about sex to begin with?

    • I don't think the age is a problem. The approach and content needs to be appropriate. Maybe if everyone wasn't so hung up on sex, the age we start to discuss it with children wouldn't be a concern. After all, kids who live on farms know the in's and out's at a young age.

    • We can't brush sex under a rock and pretend it doesn't exist. If WE as parents and educators don't discuss sex, it's risks & consequences with our children, then they WILL get the information elsewhere, and that information may not include how to practice SAFE sex. Some kids don't even think about their sexuality until they're teens or later, but others discover their sexuality MUCH earlier (I know a guy who started masturbating at age 5), so there is no RIGHT answer for when to talk to children about sex. I think it is important, though, to be open about sex as early as you're comfortable with it because it's not going to ENCOURAGE your children to have sex, it is simply going to EDUCATE them about it.