This Isn’t Your Fathers Sex Doll

sex dollThere’s a huge taboo in Judaism against idol worship. We view the image of Jesus on a cross, and most statues made of Christian saints to be idolatry, as Christians tend to kneel in front of them during prayer. Yeah, it kinda freaks us out. But there’s a difference between a graven image that is worshiped, and a graven image for enjoyment. Most people don’t worship Barbie… unless you’re my friend, Dave.

The $6,000 Sex Doll

Dave wrote me an email this week to let me know he was now an “I-Doll-atrist,” I had no idea what to say. Being in the world of BDSM, you try to go non – judgmental, but let’s face it; that’s a “what the fuck?” situation. It turns out that Dave had recently purchased his first “Real Doll.” This is the next step in the old blow – up date. These things are anatomically correct, start at aboout $6,000.00 and look almost perfectly real… you know, except for the giant boobs and perfect makeup. To be fair to Dave, he has always considered himself to be a – sexual until fairly recently when he felt that he was just not good at being social. And as much as I have no problem with this from the sexual perspective (because, hey, who am I to judge what is “weird” anymore?), I do have a problem with it from the social perspective.

Just Buy A Partner!

Is this what we’re coming to now? You can order you videos and groceries online. Get your books in a digital form. Even my water filter has a small computer in it to tell me when I should switch it out. And now, if you’re not good at being social, you don’t have to practice; just buy a partner! Tell the company what color hair you want, what size breast, and ignore the fact that the chief part of the concept of companionship is that you have a companion.

Now, I know a few women who have chosen not to have partners, not to have kids, and to live their lives the way they want, and I totally applaud that. But, I think that if you’re going to decide to have a partner, then woman/ man – up and improve yourself to the point where you feel comfortable with an “organic” human being.

A Fucked Up Trend In The Sex Culture

An Real DollTechnically, this fetish is called “Pygmalianism,” which is the sexualization of an inanimate object (don’t you feel all smart now?), like a Love Doll, or that guy in England who has sex with cars (seriously, and no, I don’t know how. The tailpipe? I feel gross knowing I just considered that option). What concerns me is that there is a big enough market for this sort of thing, that there is more than just one company. There are a few. And now there are films about it. My deep love of Ryan Gosling aside, this is a pretty fucked up trend in the sex culture. What really bothers me, aside from the fact that a person who buys a Love Doll is essentially giving up, even for a short time, on significant human relationships, is that most of these dolls are women. Yes, there are a few men, but I’ll bet you good money that 90% of the dolls sold are female. What the hell does that say about our culture?! That a plastic, non – threatening woman is becoming the woman of choice?

Sex With A Giant Barbie

From a Jewish perspective, Dave’s decision would be entirely unacceptable as idol worship. Not because the man is bowing down to the doll, though if he’s willing to do oral on a doll who will never feel it, then points to him for effort, but because he’s choosing to hold his fantasy world as more important than the real world. Of course, then you could get into a philosophical debate about what’s real… but I don’t think I can swing that right now. And does this count as masturbation? I mean, technically you’re alone, except for those custom made, never – blinking glass eye balls that just stare at you all the time. Creepy. And while most people believe that masturbation is frowned on by Judaism (it’s not, most sects believe the “Onanism” issue to be one of disobedience, not of choking the chicken), it’s still gotta be weird to have sex with a giant Barbie, and then have to clean her up when you’re done. No? Am I wrong here?

Future Shock

People eschew human interaction to play video games, knit, work on cars, all sorts of things. I hate to make a judgment call here, but I think when you start to replace people with dolls in a long – term situation, you start really having problems. I love Dave, I think he’s great, but I can see why he has troubles being social. Maybe he has Asperger’s, or maybe he just never learned to make friends with girls. Either way, are dolls the wave of the future?

Are we seriously going to stop socializing and talking to each other in favor of machines that will do everything for us? Will sex with real humans go the way of the hoop skirt and hand – written letters? More importantly to those of us in the Kink community; how exactly do you flog a doll?

I don’t think I’m ready for the sex of the future. I can barely get behind the electronic “books” I see people reading on the metro! If this is “future shock” I think I need a paper bag to breathe into. I mean, would you encourage a friend to buy a sex doll? Is one enough, or is variety the spice of life? Is it pathetic, brave, or something in the middle? I want to hear your thoughts.


  1. Marian

    It’s so funny when something new happens or changes and suddenly people think that new thing is going to take over the world. I’ll admit, I could never get down and dirty with a doll, but the people that can? Cool. Sex with toys is not going to replace real sex. Notice I said “toys”? Yes, a doll is meant to represent a real person, but so is a dildo. And dildos don’t replace real sex. They’re two separate entities and most people recognize that. And those that don’t? Those that only want to have sex with dolls? That’s a fetish, and those only represent a small percentage of the population.

  2. During my Human Sexuality class for the Marriage and Family therapy program I graduated from, we had to watch a video about Real Dolls and the people that purchased them. They weren’t necessarily only for sex. I definitely see the benefit of having them as a therapeutic tool for those with extreme social anxieties and the like. There was one fellow that chose to talk to his Real Doll rather than talk to himself. It helped him feel less alone, in a sense. I wish I could remember the name of the documentary… It was really pretty interesting. I guess I don’t automatically go for the thought that these people (men and women) are trying to replace interaction with other people, or that they are aiming for an extreme objectification of (wo)men. I think that with a $6,000 price tag, these folks are putting more thought into their purchase than that. And, quite frankly, I think some people get them for the shear artistic value. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating Real Doll is staggering… Although I can see how the incredibly realistic nature of the dolls would bother some, I find myself mostly just admiring the art of them.

  3. KinkyJew

    Well Nomad, how would you feel if a wife died and left her body to her husband for, umm… later use? Then it’s consensual, and at least the body has some sentimental value. And if it’s preserved (OMG, I can’t even believe I’m talking about this), then there’s no worry about decomposition.

    Ok. Ew. So, the question on the table (so to speak): Is consensual necrophilia ok? Like donating your body to science.

  4. Here’s what creeps me out about sex dolls, and creeps me out more the more realistic they are: You’re having sex with someone who looks and feels human, except that they don’t talk, move on their own, breathe, have a heartbeat . . . so how is this different from doing a corpse? Necrophilia is one kind I just can’t open my mind for. The guy who loves cars doesn’t bother me, but anyone who loves corpses is kind of a problem.

    So yes, this means I feel better about talking sex dolls and others that lean towards AI. It still looks like you’ve given up on real humans, but at least you’d like your lover to seem to be alive.

  5. Toy With Me

    Some interesting links & points. Although there seems to be a market for the Real-Doll, considering the cost my assumption is the niche is small. Even with introducing AI technology you can’t replace the real thing.

    As for Real Touch, looks like fun. Interactive sex toy – bring it on!

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