Would You Take A Pill To Increase Your Libido?

If any of you lady Toy with Mes are like me, you have struggled with your libido from time to time. Having babies, dealing with the pressures of careers, family life, medical problems, financial issues, relationship woes, menopause, open genital sores, what have you, can make your libido go bye-bye thereby creating even more stress in an already fucked existence.

Don’t tell me it’s never happened.

And sometimes you just wish there was a pill to magically transform you from Frigid Farrah into Henrietta Humpsalot. After all, they have a magic pill for men, so why can’t the ladies have one too? It’s only fair!!

I myself have been praying for such a miracle drug to be approved for women but guess what? Fuck me in the ass with a big rubber dick because it ain’t gonna happen.

Nope.

We’re on our own for now girls, but after thinking about it a little, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. Check it:

Whilst perusing The New York Times the other day because I’m very smart and always on top of current events, I read that the German drug maker Boehringer Ingelheim announced last week that they are stopping their work on a pill to treat low libido in women, aka “female viagra” or “pink viagra.”

The drug containing a chemical called flibanserin–which was originally intended as an antidepressant, and was thought to perhaps help menopausal women suffering from what is referred to as “hypoactive sexual desire disorder” (or the broader term “female sexual dysfunction”)–went through clinical trials and was submitted to the FDA for approval, but was rejected because it has not been proven to increase the level of female sexual desire.

Although they could not prove that the pill could increase desire, it did seem to increase the number of what they call “sexually satisfying events.” The events, which didn’t necessarily include the big O, were more frequent in women who took the drug as compared to women who took a placebo or nothing at all. So, I guess all it did was make Sexy Time more fun and/or rewarding, but didn’t make people actually want it.

If that’s the case, then the shit was no good anyway–at least for me. My problem has always been getting the engine started. Once that happens, she be purrin’ like a kitten if you know what I’m saying. “Hard starts” are notoriously difficult to troubleshoot, according to my husband. It’s a frequency thing, not a quality thing with me.

But don’t cry tears of woe just yet, my horny-wannabes.

The fact that one German company dropped the ball isn’t that horrible of a thing because there are two other companies who are currently testing out testosterone-based products instead of the flibanserin one. While this seems like great news at first, it scares me a little bit because while the side effects from the flibanserin based drug included dizziness, nausea, and fatigue which would have been no big whoop for me since I feel those things all the time anyway, what might the side effects of a testosterone based pill be?

Would it turn me into a dude? Would I grow…(GASP!) MY OWN COCK N’ BALLS???

Oh nos! While I rather enjoy a nice cock n’ balls, I don’t want one of my own, you know, hanging on me. Plus, I know from my own experience with taking birth control pills that messing with hormones is bad news bears. They turn me into a fat, bloated, psycho-bitch from hell. I don’t need to turn into a hairy, raging dick from hell. That would cause more problems in my house than it would solve, I think. Who wants to be horny, breaking out in pimples, and unapproachably aggressive?

Speaking of big deals, this whole “pink viagra” thing has been controversial anyway as it raises some important questions about what constitutes “normal” desire in women.

Who is to say, really, what that is? Aren’t we all wired just a little bit differently from one another? Some people burn 3,000 calories a day just sitting there (my husband for example), and others have metabolisms like lizards outside on a chilly morning. Some folks are just born to be taller than others, and some with less body hair. Why should we expect sex drives to fall into a narrow range of values? How do you even measure libido?

Not only that, but everyone has a different set of life circumstances that may be affecting their libidos. I think it’s impossible to account for that. I have a lot of crap going on in my life and most of the time it’s really hard to shut that off and focus on bodily pleasures. I really don’t think that’s dysfunctional–I think it’s part of being a woman living in 2010.

Also, I wonder if drug companies are just trying to profit from so called “female sexual dysfunction?” Male impotence/erectile dysfunction is a multi-billion dollar industry. Tapping into what seems to be just as pervasive a problem (if not more) means double the profits if they can jump on the bandwagon. Side effects be damned!

I’m just throwing this out there. I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist and I’ve never been through menopause or suffered from a serious illness. I’m just a lady who sometimes is so, so, so not interested in Sexy Time and I don’t know why or how to fix it and it causes me anxiety and I’d do anything to change it.

Since I already know how I am with hormonal drugs, I don’t think I want to take a testosterone pill. Plus, according to an endocrinologist, I don’t need one.  However I absolutely think they should keep working on it as an option for people who DO want to give it a whirl, or for whom the indications promise a better fit.  There are many women out there with legitimate hormonal imbalances that get tested, before and after drug therapy, and show a definite improvement in quality of life, so having additional options is never a bad thing.

So I’m going to open all of this up to all you Toy with Mes. How do you feel about “female sexual dysfunction?” Do you think it’s a medical problem, a life problem, or is it just a way for drug companies to make money on us by preying on our insecurities when we’re really just variations on a spectrum of “normal” levels of desire? How do you know when someone has an honest-to-god issue that deserves medical attention?

The Queen Of Everything About The Queen Of Everything

Crissy,a lifelong Rhode Islander, is 35 and has two little girls. Aside from doing a little bit of writing here and there, she doesn’t use a shred of her MA in English. She writes a blog where she is Queen of *&%$#@* Everything and reigns over her readers, whom she calls Queefs, with a loving but firm hand. In both 2008 and 2009 Crissy won the Blogger’s Choice Award for Hottest Mommy Blogger. In 2010, Crissy was chosen as one of Blogher's voices of the year.

Comments

  1. Life problem, for the most part. How about looking at why it is so necessary to have sex all the time? Maybe there are other ways to express love or intimacy? (I'm not talking about never having sex…just why every night? or even every other night?) It seems to me that our culture has slipped to some idea that "sex" is the best thing you could ever do with someone and men have been lulled into believing that if they don't have sex often there is something wrong…and frankly, I just can't buy that. I don't think there's something "wrong" with women who don't want sex constantly.

    • well, how little is "too little?"

      for some couples, every other day is the norm. a week without sex is a major event.

      for others, once a week is fine and fairly repeatable.

      for others, once a month, maybe twice if they're feeling really frisky.

      for others, once a season is plenty.

      i personally know a few people who do it just a couple of times a year. if they're both happy with that, then who the hell cares? but IF in fact one partner wants it more frequently than that, is that "wrong?"

      i don't think anyone older than 16 years old considers daily sex to be sustainable or expected. especially not if they have any kids.

      just so we don't get locked into gender stereotypes, i can tell you that it's not always the woman who is the limiting factor–i personally know a few men who just don't have the drive their wives/gfs/sos do.

  2. Being on the pill, lowered my libido considerably, and right when I got off the pill was when i noticed the change, I wanted sex all the time!!! so I told my dr. and she switched the brand, and it hasnt happened again. Now I'd give some of my libido to those lacking some. So in a sense i understand your point on the hormone thing, people react differently to them and they can have weird effects on the person. If i ever had that problem again, id think id try it out to see how it works.

    • This is an excellent point Sara for those women on the pill that no longer have any lust for sex. Switching brands is great suggestion and would definitely be worth a try.

  3. PART 2 OF 2
    Lack of libido in women, I believe, may be caused much more frequently by mental (life) problems than physical problems that aren’t caused by other medications they may be taking, because lack of libido is defined as having little or no sexual desire rather than something like the inability to have intercourse without considerable pain due to dryness or a vise-like vagina that’s difficult to penetrate. Of course, being overly tired due to physical exertion can also cause lack of libido…so men, pick up your dirty underwear and help with household chores unless you want to suffer from that Hawaiian disease “Lackanookie”.

    In my case, surgery to remove my cancerous prostate gland long ago resulted in nerves and blood vessels going to my penis being severed, so an ED pill can’t help me. At the same time I still have a very strong desire for sex.

    Just try to imagine what it’s like to be perpetually horny with a limp cock. “Frustrating” doesn’t even come close.

    • Thanks for sharing some very good points Don. In the case of ED you are quite correct, the primary purpose of this drug is to increase blood flow to the penis which in turn helps the penis become erect. ED drugs can help with physical issues, but sadly they have little or no effect when struggling with the mental aspect.

      I agree life's daily trials and tribulations are responsible for a large majority of women lacking in sexual desire. Something to keep in mind though is the fact that anti-depressant use is on the rise and have been proven to cause not only loss of lubrication as well as difficulties in climaxing, they are in fact clinically known to alter the sexual desire women (and men) feel.

    • don, your comment has given me, at least, a heartfelt and bluntly honest reminder of the things i have to be thankful for.

      on the bright side, at least you no longer have cancer.

  4. PART 1 OF 2

    I haven’t researched this topic like Ken and perhaps others have, and I certainly have no medical training, but I have some thoughts about it.

    I think two topics being linked together here (ED among men and lack of libido among women), although related in some ways are vastly different in other ways.

    Both conditions can be caused by either physical or mental (life) problems.

    With ED, the primary problem is lack of blood flowing into the penis to make it larger and harder thus creating a good erection. That can be caused by a variety of either physical or mental problems. I’ve been led to believe that Viagra and Cialis have no effect on mental (life) problems, but can correct SOME (so they aren't the “silver bullets” some people think they are) physical problems and allow blood to gather in the penis and allow a man to have an erection and possibly maintain it for some time.

  5. When I hit menopause in my late 30's, I wasn't even sure what it was. I thought I was having panic attacks…turns out they were just very strong hot flashes. After that, the libido went into the shit hole.

    Daily life takes its toll as well.

    But I've found that several glasses of wine or at least 4 beers helps the situation. As well as my hot tub.

    I'm not a pill popper. I take a Tylenol or Excederin Migraine when needed. And a multi vitamin. That's it. Never did the HRT. Don't need to mess with the hormones, they're already a mess.

    • Menopause is a real libido killer as I also know from first hand experience. Actually, it was one of the main reasons I started TWM. Women suffering from a lack of sex drive and seriously messed up hormones caused by menopause. Since the brain tends to work over time when life is handing you crap to deal with faster then your capable of, I have also found a few alcoholic drinks relaxing. Once I'm relaxed inhibitions go out the window! Now if only I had a hot tub ;) Budda boom, budda bing!

  6. For me the low libido was a sign that I was really not into my husband, or men for that matter. What it took to wake me up!! Now there are no issues in that department…..But that's just me.

  7. I'm sure that my feelings about this are coloured by the fact that an increase in sex drive is just going to make my battery purchases more frequent and since I am currently sans employment, the increase would be catastrophic for my budget.

    Realistically, there are few men in my age group (at least that I have met) who would care to maintain the level of "service" I really desire and it's in poor taste to bring a battery operated boyfriend into a bed which one already shares with a human companion for solo use (when said human companion is simply "not up to" the task of providing the sexytime).

    However, I have gone through times when I had a complete lack of libido and I daresay a feeling of revulsion even THINKING about sexytime. I honestly don't know that pharmaceuticals could have/would have made a difference. I think it's a whole different set of parameters with women. So, if they can create a pill that will let you look in the mirror and adore what you see and make you feel 100% comfortable in your own skin PLUS deal with stress/anxiety AND help with "the mood", I'll give it a shot. But if it can only increase some blood flow or muck with my hormones, I am NOT INTERESTED.

    Plus, I will bet that insurance is NOT GOING TO COVER a "female viagra". Hrumph.

    • It's sad to hear some men are not open minded enough to add toys into the mix, even if it is used for solo play. After all, watching your partner stimulating themselves can be incredibly erotic.

      Confidence plays a huge roll in a persons desire for sex. Not to mention pressure from daily life. This "magic" pill is going to need to cover a lot of different areas for most women to consider taking it.

  8. Vodka and Ground Beef says:

    I'm worried if I took this pill, it would give me a 4 hour labia erection. I can't have that.

  9. After my hysterical-ectomy six years ago, a very kind doctor put me on testoterone to help combat the no-sexy-time blues. I've been Slutty McFuckerson ever since. It's fabulous!!!

  10. Fuck! Those are good questions. Seriously good questions.

    Because see, if Marilyn Monroe, with all her hot curvy bits and succulent tits; no kids, a maid, great feedback from the mirror, access to all the champagne and mink she could ever want, a great job!, somebody else walking the dog, fun times and a helper doing her funky laundry plus cleaning behind the couch, and weeding the garden ……and she still up and can't get no satisfaction…………well then…..

  11. You know, I didn’t read thru all the comments so forgive if I’m repeating. I did see the comment about the magic pill that makes men more seductive and all that romanticky stuff. Good thoughts.

    Crissy, mine sucks big time. I can easily blame my man by pointing out the whole Mars and Venus book about how women need the buildup mentally, which means anything from an unprompted compliment to doing the dishes willingly. But truth? Sometimes I wonder if even that would do it.

    I’m on a birth control pill AND and antidepressant and my guess is that doesn’t help. But I’d rather be NOT preggers and NOT crazy.

    Oh and general stress. I’m sorry but I cannot seem to let go of mommy mode. You can be really working good on me and there’s still a part of my brain calculating the dinner menu for later on the week. Or who has homework.

    Oh and the subsequent guilt for all that. Yeah this does suck. But I dint think I would swallow another pill. Maybe if its been FDA approved for 20 years and no ones filed a lawsuit :)

    Ooh sorry for the ramble.

    • No apologies required Kristin. Meds can really suck the sex drive right out of you, no doubt. Both the pill and antidepressants list loss of libido as a side effect. The two combined I’m sure would explain your lack of desire.

      In your shoes I would be skeptical of trying a relatively new drug as well. We really do need another option for those who take meds with this kind of side effect beyond another pill.

    • No apologies needed Kristin. Both the pill and antidepressants are known to have an impact on your libido as a side effect sadly. Combine that with a hectic life that keeps your brain running on over drive and anyones sex life will surely suffer. Perhaps as an option to another pill a little down time away from it all, just to relax and enjoy your spouses company might have a positive outcome.

  12. From talking with many of my female friends I would say its a life problem. Once situations or men changed things got back to normal. Even for guys it's hard to juggle 5 balls in the area and be ready for sexy time. However 4 is now problem.

  13. Ahhh Hahaha – good point by you Ken!

  14. Thanks for sharing the link Karen. I did manage to watch about 10 mins. but for lack of time right now was unable to view the entire documentary, although I will most likely finish watching it later.

    Ouch! Just thinking about your tooth makes my mouth hurt. Time for your insurance to pay out & fix it so you can get down to more important things ;)

  15. Really curious to know how they determined that ‘cow uterus’ would have this affect. So the scientists are sitting around going “How do we reverse this nipple effect for men from steroids?” And someone says “I’ve got it!” “Why don’t we inject them with ‘cow uterus’?” And they all go “Damn Bob!, that’s a brilliant idea!”

    I have know women who have tried viagra with little to no reaction sadly. Ideally, we need our own pill.

  16. I just came across this documentary … http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Shows/The_Passionate_Ey… … about the pharm industry and women's libidos, I do believe. I would love to stop and watch it, but with three kids home with a flu, I will have to post it unvetted.

    What little libido I had went awol when one of my (side) teeth recently split up the centre and had to be removed (sigh). I just don't even want to KISS until I get a bionic tooth in replacement. Unfortunately, insurance hasn't figured out how these are worth paying for, so the cost of replacement might do my husband's libido (directly connected to his financial well-being, weird) in for a while.

  17. I think I would try it, because I am 23 and have no Libido, not an ounce. Still not sure how we have 3 kids lol. But in all serious-ness I wish they made something to help me get in the mood, because I never am- ever.

  18. I would be down for the Pink Viagra. I’m 27 and I have no libido, I’m also on the Pill, perhaps that has something to do with it but I understand both sides. Sex for women is more psychological and a lot of us can’t get busy when we’re stressed and mind space is taken up with crap so having Pink Viagra doesn’t solve what’s really behind the No Libido issue.

    On the flip, I’ve consulted both my gyno and my regular doctor about my zero libido and both have waved me off as if it’s not important, I try and get help but no one (around me at least) takes you seriously which is why I would consider taking it.

    • I've been blown off by my gyno, too! He made a joke about my lack of libido as a sign the pill must be working! He was all "well, you're not having sex so you can't get pregnant!" ASSHOLE.

      • Wow! I would be furious! Sex is not a laughing matter if you're not getting any. Not very professional or compassionate. They should consider changing professions.

  19. Ok, so I am female, and I take Viagra for a medical condition I have – and no, it’s not sexual related. But, being a bit concerned (aka hopeful) that I would turn into a sex crazed maniac, i did some online reading before I started taking the little blue pill. Turns out Viagra does nothing for women. Huh. After all their studies, this is what they discovered – if a man has an erection – he is ready, mind and body, to have sex. A woman’s body could be ready, but if she’s not in the mood – it ain’t happening. Really? How many millions of dollars did they spend on that one?

    • Total waste of money on that research. You're so right, any woman could have shared that enlightening information.

    • i kind of disagree about the hard on being the end-all for guys.

      during some of my research into drugs/supplements i came across a lot of testimonials from men who were on pharmaceutical ED drugs (such as viagra).

      yes, they had an increased ability to achieve an erection BUT there were quite a few that expressed no change in their libido/sex drive/desire. so they had stiffies but no impetus to do anything with them.

      some of the herbal remedies DID have a positive effect on inducing amorous thoughts/feelings/urges, above and beyond what the "drugs" were capable of.

      the current pharmaceutical remedies seem to be a bit unrefined, solving principally a mechanical/hydraulic problem (which is surely a problem, but not the only one).

      • If the ED drugs are only solving half the problem, are they really worth taking? Perhaps the manufacturers of herbal remedies should produce their own study to show the results natural remedies have compared to ED drugs. If given the choice, substantiated with with proven facts, natural would win over chemical for me.

        • as it would for a lot of folks. and it should!

          the issue at hand is similar to that facing medical marijuana: you can't patent a plant. there's no money in the intellectual property.

          i think the ED drugs do help immensely when the problem is exactly counteracted by their effect. in other words, man has desire, has strong libido, just can't develop/maintain an erection physically.

          i would actually like to get my hands on a pill for testing purposes, so i can compare the two approaches.

  20. "I have a lot of crap going on in my life and most of the time it’s really hard to shut that off and focus on bodily pleasures. I really don’t think that’s dysfunctional–I think it’s part of being a woman living in 2010."

    A-FREAKING-MEN!

    The OTHER pill women take a lot has a lot to do with those hormonal responses, too. I know a lot of gals who go off The Pill and are suddenly sex-starved cougars.

    I have heard of some teas and stuff that can help out, but the science I have read has concluded that the most important organ that determines a woman's sexual readiness is her BRAIN. So that crazy life you mentioned? Yeah. Those distractions and the immense insanity have a lot to do with not being in the mood!

    • We are a busy bunch no doubt. Work, kids, house, appointments, cooking – you know the drill. So I can see where that can suck the sex drive out of a person. Down time away from it all would be a great start to clear the mind.

    • as far as teas and other herbal remedies, i'm actually compiling information and/or testing a select few products (well, crissy is).

      i do plan to share what i've researched and/or learned through anecdotal and empirical evidence.

  21. If I hadn't taken birth control for so many frippin' years I might still have a libido that didn't need thirty minutes of Justin Timberlake tunes and a half a bottle of wine to fire up. So yeah, another pill makes me widgey. Obviously I should just shack up with JT and then it wouldn't be a problem ever again.

    • Pills are always a last resort for me as well. On the other hand if I had zero sex drive for a prolonged period of time I would want a pill. I would rather go without water then sex ;)

      Now on to JT! Shacking up with him would make me hornier then a hyena during mating season :P

  22. well, on the topic of "what criteria define a sexual disorder," i think we first need a new metric:

    EXPECTED sexual activity/satisfaction vs. ACTUAL sexual activity/satisfaction.

    the reason why you can't just go by "how many times a week… more = better, less = worse" paradigm to define dysfunction is that it just doesn't work.

    first of all, you also have to include "satisfaction" because there are PLENTY of scenarios in which people are having a lot of sex, and they're not really getting off while they're doing it. (especially for women i think, because guys can be a pretty selfish and narcissistic bunch.) you know, mundane, man-on-top, woman-on-the-bottom, get-it-over-with-quick sex. not that there's anything WRONG with that per se, but if that's ALL you've got with your partner, and neither of you says or does anything to change it, then your satisfaction level is probably going to suffer.

    on to expectations… do nuns suffer from "hypoactive sexual desire disorder?" if they were married, and the EXPECTATION was that they would desire their husbands, and they were celibate, then yes, something is out of whack. But that's not the case. the expected level of sexual activity/satisfaction is zero. the fact that they're not having orgasms and getting off is insufficient to warrant a "disorder."

  23. I wouldn't mind growing a cock n balls. Then I could fuck my horny boyfriend twice as much.

  24. Ladies, your panties should instantly moisten then fall off the minute you see your man (or woman)…

  25. Getchasome says:

    I didn't have this problem until I had my son almost 15 yrs ago … but for me, I think that it is a thinking thing … I can't get out of my head long enough or turn the thinking off to get into my body … my husband is like a walking hard-on all.day.long and at the drop of a hat is ready … makes me crazy that I can't turn it on like he can … if testosterone is responsible for that, yes please, I'll take a dose or 3 or 6 lol … I MISS it, that teenage lust that is bubbling right under the surface and takes hold just with a look or a song or the breeze lol

    I do remember reading about serotonin levels affecting sex drive in women … with orgasm serotonin (the feel good chemical) is released, so if you can get the engine going, etc … but how do you keep it going is the problem … nasty cycle lol

    • Ahhh….teenage lust. I remember those days ;)

      The 'thinking thing' can cause serious libido problems. Sometimes once that thought of just not feeling aroused lately can be all consuming, especially if your partner is always ready, willing and able.

      Very good point about serotonin.

  26. No pun intended, I swear!

  27. Okay, so right now I'm the only frigid one here. Cool.

  28. sex pill for women – do.not.want
    it's just the pharmaceutical industry medicalising what is a very complicated physiological response, tied up in more than just blood flow and hormone levels.

    now if they could invent a pill that put a man in the mood for being sensual, seductive, "up for it" and romantic/lustful (take your pick) rather than just giving him an erect penis …… i'd be totally on board for that, as long as it also meant him being more proactive in the housework and parenting departments as well
    :)

    • Pharmaceutical companies do have a rap for being money grabbing whores. There are however some women who for very specific medical reasons are unable (mind set or not) to achieve arousal, let alone have an orgasm. For these women a pill may be the difference between an active sex life or no sex life at all.

      I know the second part is implied as humorous but to be against a pill to help women attain sexual desire yet for one that makes a man more attentive does not seem logical to me. Thanks for sharing :)

      • yes, there are definite medical conditions which prevent women from attaining sexual pleasure but, forgive me, i was alluding to the medicalisation of female desire. according to the pharmacological industry up to 46% of women have hypoactive sexual desire aka female sexual dysfunction. in other words they do not want sex, they do not initiate sex ……

        er …. i find this figure quite high, suspiciously high. i know it’s the usual joke that women are frigid but …. almost half of us not up for it?

        almost half of all women in the world do not desire sex?
        how convenient it would be to produce a pill that could be popped and then suddenly women would be “up for it”?

        i am really suspicious of the data and am truly worried it would give the other half of the sexual equation a reason to cop out of “choreplay” whilst stigmatising just about every woman on the planet who ever shows a disinterest in sex

        yes, men have viagra or cialis among others, specified for erectile dysfunction not a nebulous “not being up for it”.
        if a pill for a female sexual problem is going to be developed i hope it can be for a specific dysfunction and not the hijacking of a cluster of perfectly normal female emotions and life events

        • Thanks for coming back and pointing this out. I clearly understand what you were referring to originally and am in agreement. I think the pharmaceutical companies love creating bullshit stats such as this while they sit in their over stuffed leather chairs counting their cash.

        • "how convenient it would be to produce a pill that could be popped and then suddenly women would be "up for it"? "

          are you saying that this WOULDN'T be a good idea?

          i mean, speaking idealistically and assuming we have a "perfect pill" that had no negative side effects?

          there ARE men out there who do MORE than their fair share of chores/housework/caretaking, and for whatever reason their wives/gfs/sos are totally disinterested. some of those wives don't give a shit, but others are really quite troubled and feel terrible anxiety and guilt because of it. either way it's an issue that deserves attention because of the way it stands in the way of intimacy, of any sort.

          • If there was a "perfect pill" without negative side effects (especially long term ones) then I would swallow it.

            Anything that stands in the way of a healthy active sex life deserves top priority.

    • "being more proactive in the housework and parenting departments"

      'round these parts, we call that "choreplay."

      it works!

      • It most certainly does Ken!

        To all men out there, and this is no joke, "choreplay" is highly arousing!! Seriously, to women it shows appreciation for their sometimes over looked hard work in the home.

        • Years ago, when he was still a syndicated columnist, Dave Barry humorously wrote about a friend who was getting "lucky" with his wife more often because he was picking up his socks. The wife was tired of always picking up the socks from the floor so she told him that picking up his socks was sexy to her. I cracked up when I read it to my husband but then I told him why it was sexy. It was like a light-bulb turning on over his head and he started doing his and the kids laundry from then on.

          • Men always think when woman say this we're blowing sunshine up their ass, but truth is, less work more energy. Plus it shows they understand and respect you for all the little stuff that would normally go unnoticed.

  29. LOL…funny to arrive here and find my alter ego Soccermom already wrote what i was going to.
    I am not into pills but then again I am with SM I do not have a problem getting in the mood. To me it is all about relaxing and letting go. I guess that is more difficult for some people.

    • Another lucky lady :)

      I have spoken with numerous women who have medical problems or take medication that has sexual side effects and unfortunately due to these issues it is more than just a mind set. I wish all women could just be able to relax & let go in order to have mind blowing sexual encounters.

      • I realize it is not that easy for alot of women. I really wish it were though. I am empathetic. I really am.

        • Please don't take my comment the wrong way. I definitely believe you are empathetic and I appreciate you commenting :) I would love for everyone to have amazing sex lives and am thrilled that yours is.

    • i think you're definitely on to something with "relaxing and letting go."

      personally i feel the era in which we find ourselves today is one in which it is VERY HARD not to feel anxiety. i said as much in my earlier comment, but i called it "worry." the fact is, there is more uncertainty today than that of only a few years ago. that creeps into every aspect of someone's life. for someone predisposed to being anxious, this can be a HUGE IMPEDIMENT to being able to relax and let go.

      what i DO think is that men, in general, are pretty good at using sex as a tool to ESCAPE or TREAT that anxiety, whereas women (again, generally) have to attack and subdue the anxiety FIRST to carve out enough feelings of security to allow her to drop her defenses and fully give herself up to Eros.

  30. I have to say I have never had that problem , but I am not of the norm.

    I have a very high sex drive. Always have. But

    if that ever changed I would soooooo want a little pill to help me out!

    Excellent topic