I don’t think it’s a matter of “getting over ourselves.” I think a person is pretty “over him/herself” when they come to the realization that a certain “mile marker” won’t be hit today, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t enjoy it, or that their partner should feel badly about not having been “good enough.”

Yes, we can sit and talk and work with our partners to ensure that they don’t blame themselves for us not getting there tonight, but sometimes it’s just a little white lie to make your partner feel better. I would hope that your partner would tell you that you are the most wonderful, intelligent, charming, and delightful human in the world, even if you’re not a member of MENSA. I don’t condone lying in relationships, but I don’t think letting one slide every now and again is an issue of our own egos.

If you’re *ashamed* to ask for what you want, then yes, learn to ask… but sometimes in relationships, you have to make a compromise, and you suck it up… so to speak.

Especially early on in a relationship, I think it’s important for my partners to know what does and doesn’t work with me. If they are doing something that isn’t working for me, and I was to fake an orgasm, they’d just think it was super for me and just do it again that way next time. How would my partner learn what I liked if whatever he or she did got an “OH YES” out of me? I don’t get off easily, and I don’t need that made worse by confusing my partner about what does it for me.

Also: you know what’s a great ego-booster? Knowing that you made something happen that isn’t easy, and doesn’t necessarily happen everyday. And that there’s no chance of it having been faked, because your partner doesn’t fake orgasms.

With some guys it’s more a matter of me not saying out loud “are you done yet, because I think I’m starting to bruise here” and hoping they’ll finish quickly.

I wish more women thought this way.

Look, ladies… we aren’t mind readers, and orgasms, for us, are mostly mechanical. If we aren’t doing what you need, it’s because we haven’t figured you out yet, so don’t get frustrated, instead say: “Do is like this” or feel free to help out, because that is pretty freakin’ hot, too.

Aunt Becky & I were in total agreement on this week’s winner…..

Congrats to – Cohiba!! We loved your post because a) we thought it was sweet thinking of your lady first and b) we think it took “big balls” to share your story.

So, Cohiba – enjoy your “slick” goody basket from Astroglide!
P.S. please DM or email me your shipping address.