Comments on: The Top Six Types Of Lousy Lovers

By: Toy With Me

Toy With Me — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 01:08:08 +0000

Aunt Becky & I laughed and cried reading everyone’s comments. There were quite a few we wanted to win. We finally managed to pick a winner though.

Congratulations goes to Miss Grace – If only Bristol Palin had done this!

Thanks everyone for the fabulous entertainment

By: ScienceGeek

ScienceGeek — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 06:42:22 +0000

I’m going to take a shot at the female equivalents (in other words, what myself and my friends have been guilty of!)

Rough lady – i.e. either getting carried away and not being gentle enough with the goods, or being too inexperienced to treat them properly. Might be what Kevin’s referring to when he’s talking about the pencil sharpener (Um, yeah, I’ve done that. Sorry guys).

The Dead Fish – when they’re clearly just lying back and thinking of England. (Not guilty!)

‘Princess Entitlement’ – Because the Selfish lover comes in a female variety too. The only difference is the focus on ‘romance’. IS there any such thing as ‘romantic sex’? I’m all about ‘making love’, but let’s be realistic here – sex involves way too many strange expressions and weirdly jiggling body parts to allow much room for romance.

‘Validate me!’ – nothing kills the mood (and probably the hard on) like a constant need for compliments or endless apologies regarding your appearance (luckily, I never suffered that, thanks to the brutal honesty of a male friend ‘You’re naked, you’re willing to have sex with us, you’re the hottest woman on the planet’)

Any more ideas?

By: Plantagenet

Plantagenet — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:14:01 +0000

I hate doggy sex.
You know, where I have to sit up and beg, and you roll over and play dead!

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:51:38 +0000

I frequently refer to the “jackrabbit” lover as the “jackHAMMER”. Had one once. Wouldn’t recommend it.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:33:34 +0000

I hate “guy who tries out as many positions as possible” (although that may also be “watches too much porn” guy. As soon as you start to get in a groove he flips you around and tries something new, it’s exhausting!

But in the worst sexual experience I had, the P didn’t even make it into the V. I was engaged in a drunken makeout sesh on my couch with this guy after a first date. I had no intention of sleeping with him (but HE didn’t know that!) and after about 30 minutes of dry humping, he whips it out and starts spanking! Mr. Self-Lover whacked off to my semi-nude body then came all over my belly. I immediately sat up and gave him a big hug, rubbing the cum all over his imitation Ed Hardy tee and whispered in his ear “get out!”

By: Shannon

Shannon — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:29:59 +0000

I just broke up with Shy Guy, who was a cross between Boring & Lazy, but with a soucon of insecure. Ugg. No/low lights, no talk, nothing to built the anticipation if there was even a glimmer of a chance that someone might see/hear. Nothing that might remind him of a porn film and cause him to feel more insecure.

Sad thing was, he was great when he was out of his big head and into his little one.

By: Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:29:33 +0000

Shit. There goes ANY chance of me getting laid. EVER.

By: Toy With Me

Toy With Me — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:26:38 +0000

@AuntBecky – I think we may have scared the guys off with this post.

By: Fawn Amber

Fawn Amber — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:24:13 +0000

With Tricia. Oh yeah, sister. Or does that just happen to me??

How about Sandpaper guy, who can’t be bothered with foreplay? I guess this falls into Lazy Lover. But guys? Dry fingers do not feel any better than dry sex. Believe in the power of lube. Seriously.

By: Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:15:05 +0000

Is someone going to be all about what lousy women lovers are like? Because I know we’re just as guilty.