If you haven’t seen it, you’ve been living under a rock. The stage is set with candles, romantic music, a just-eaten 14 course dinner and its tidy leftovers on the table, and the camera pans to the couple in bed, taking a breather after an intense session just before delving into another. It’s a cliche concept rehashed like corned beef into everything from mainstream movies to 3 am “performance pill” ads – that a real man goes for hours, like some freakish cock-wielding energizer bunny. They get off, and are immediately ready to go again, be it pleasuring their woman with cunnilingus that rivals the running time of CSI:Miami marathons during sweeps week, or thrusting for periods of time that would make pneumatic hammers insecure. Men, after all, don’t need downtime and women are never satisfied.
Bull. Shit.
Ahhh, The Nooner
Now, don’t get me wrong – I think everyone is entitled to slow, leisurely explorations that take up an entire day if they so desire. My issue lies in the disturbing trend of this being considered the norm – that short, albeit passionate, lovemaking is relegated to the wink-wink “nooner” designation or when having sex you’ll regret / paying for a hotel room by the hour. I’ve been present for many a conversation glorifying the hours-long marathon session, but not that many that heap praise on the so-called quickie.
No Need To Break My Pelvis
I began to get self-conscious about my own interludes in the sack; short and sweet tangles that ended in an orgasm for both of us inside of fifteen minutes. We aren’t insane about it – usually little to no toys involved, latex condom, foreplay, water-based lubricant, visual and verbal communication throughout, and he’s not trying to break my pelvis or do crazy dismounts. We just…both get off pretty quickly during PIV (penis-in-vagina, fyi) sex – me first, always, I’d like to clarify. Sure, we take our time during mutual masturbation and things like that, but that specification doesn’t seem to come up when people start talking about then mythical marathon session.
I began dropping hints to my partner how I’d love to spend all day in bed with nothing but each other naked, and maybe pizza and breath mints for practicalities’ sake. The first few times my partner shrugged noncommittally, but then one day he turned to me and said, “Why?”
Screw Cosmo
Oh, I was mad. Furious. Glare-at-the-back-of-his-head pissed off. Why WOULDN’T a healthy American male want to spend all day pantsless with a delectable toychick like myself? I was sexy! I was hot and amazing and could do things with my tongue! I was….kidding myself. I didn’t want it either. It took my partner’s puzzled response to make me realize I wanted it because I thought it was “normal”. I honestly let myself get tricked into the cosmo-endorsed thought that truly loving, caring partners mentally shopped for just the right satin sheets and wondered if they should buy a whole case of rose petals at once. Truth is, most don’t…and the ones that do? That really and truly think like that 24/7? I think I’d get crazy bored or seriously creeped out within a week or two. Maybe three if he could also do things with his tongue.
Wangs And Intake Ports Don’t Mix
This epiphany led my partner and I to a long and winding discussion that peeped out over several days, weaving in and out of our pre-bedtime conversations. The reason he never wanted to frequent the sleazy (if there was a way to italicize that word further, I would) no-tell motel a few towns over, the one with the theme rooms? It was dirty. This response also began to annoy me until I realized he was right. Those were the kind of rooms they swept with blacklights for nightly news specials. They were pretty much very large multi-surfaced sponges for other people’s genetic napalm. This was, of course, not even taking into account that my guy is a Spa technician and told me horror stories he’d heard from other techs about the jacuzzis in those rooms. (Short version? Wangs and intake ports don’t mix. Ditto with condoms and filters.) And eating food off of one another? Cute dollops of whipped cream above the belt, maybe, but anything bigger would probably be sugary or salty and he parroted my own oft-repeated mini speech about vaginal PH and sugar right back at me. Apparently, I was unknowingly into all kinds of cliches for the sake of the cliche itself, and not considering that these ideas were sort of incompatible with my partner and I. Sex, after all, should avoid defining itself as a race, checklist, or competition.
Quickie Sex Is Fine By Me
I began to really think about our trysts after each time they occurred, and always came to the same conclusion: they were awesome. Love, passion, orgasm, cuddling…all under a half hour. If it made me feel good and happy and satisfied, if I wasn’t longing for more or feeling like the sex was hurried or meaningless, why should I be worrying over length of time spent on it? So I stopped. We continued gleefully pulling each other into bed now and then for our romps, and I stopped stressing over what other people might think. Maybe some women get all kinds of energized after “round one”, but personally, my 27 year old self would rather blow out the scented candles and sleep like the dead. I can think of nothing more awesome than taking a nap after a good solid orgasm, to the end where I had to make my partner promise to make me get up to go to the bathroom after (always pee after sex to stave off yeast infections) because my limbs and brain enter a state of utter lethargy and nothing short of a natural disaster will rouse me.
So what gives, ladies? Tell me your marathon-sex rationale. Don’t your naughty bits get kick-visitors-in-the-face tender? Am I weird to want to rinse off, doze, and wake up again only when hunger or boredom demand it?
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I had to convince the 23 year old that there was nothing wrong with a quickie. He seemed to be under the impression that it was somehow rude or inconsiderate. I found that sweet but silly. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it when I have as much time as I want to spend on sex, when neither of us has to zip up and run somewhere. But hey, I like sex! If we’ve only got 10 minutes and the storeroom down the hall, I’m not gonna say, “Sorry, no sex until we have a bed and 6 hours.”
Marathon sessions can also lead to chafing, and UTIs if one isn’t careful.
Walking to bed like a zombie after juggling more tasks then a circus clown has balls my thoughts wander to getting some z’s. Sorry to disappoint Toy With Mes, but there is no ass smacking or nipple tweaking once I snuggle in under my cozy duvet.
When I am energized and in top form – that when sexy time cums. Nooners – well, I like to think I invented the term
A-fucking-men sister. Those marathon sessions are meant for new love. When you’re still figuring shit out. Once you have found your lover for life “GIT ER DONE?” The ultimate goal is a big angry O, right? I can fold the laundry, do the dishes and come in under an hour. At my age if I have the luxury of spending the day in bed I’m gonna come in 15 minutes and sleep and eat for the rest of the day. On your mark get set………………
Oops that was “GIT HER DONE!” not “GIT HER DONE?”
Word. If that mess takes too long I find I completely loose track of activity “at hand” and start adding items to my mental “to do” list or wondering how long it’s been since I washed the sheets. I don’t think I have the attention span (or cranberry juice) for mad crazy marathon sex.
I have two kids. The quickie is pretty much gospel in our house.
For us, a quickie is anything under an hour, so yeah, I like quickies. Nothing wrong with them at all
Again a great read from ThatToyChick. Recently a boy told me that he would like to take his time and not have it be so rush, I was like wow. *chuckles* Its my hormones that just wants to go for the gusto now. But foreplay and after play is a must.
Actually, some of my sweetest memories with my husband have to do with “quickies.” We were in a long-distance relationship for two and a half years before we got married and I moved cross-country to be with him. The first time when I was visiting that we had sex, it was an amazing weekend. I think some part of both of us was shocked we had slept together. At that point, we didn’t know we were going to get married… We just knew we liked hanging out and chatting.
The weekend went by so fast after that, it is practically a blur in memory. The next thing we knew, it was Monday morning. He was working a really early shift at that point, and so when he got off work at 11am, or so, he texted to ask if I wanted to see him before I had to check out of the hotel. Of course, I said yes. He got there, and we spent half an hour or so cuddling and marveling over the weekend. We chatted a bit about when I might be able to come back. Then, suddenly, he looked at the clock. There was fifteen-twenty minutes before I had to check out of the hotel. He looked at me and asked, “Do you think we can beat the clock?”
Suddenly, rather than dreading having to leave and not knowing when I would see him again, I was completely engrossed in stripping him down and saying a proper goodbye. Rather than crying when I left, I was wearing a very goofy “just been fucked” grin. One of the best quickies I’ve ever had, and there have been many. ^.^
SkyddsDrake – All goodbyes should be that great!
Curious – Most of you seem to vote for the quickie here. I’m wondering is this by choice or because you lack the time and energy for more?
For myself, it’s a preference more often than not. As Lady of the House mentioned, there’s shit to do! I have an internal clock in my head that buzzes when it feels it’s been too long since I felt guilty about chores that aren’t done.
Sure, I can swat it away, but it keeps buzzing in my ear about how I should feel guilty, and energy gets diverted from sexytime to trying to ward it off. Better I enjoy a quick session than draw out a long one where I have to constantly battle for concentration.
I gotta say….a big part of my reasoning for not wanting such marathons? I have the attention span of a kitten.
Perhaps this is why I was never able to get into the thought of getting a hotel with a guy for an hours-long “let’s do everything” BDSM scene session – in my head it sounds good but then when I really think about it? I’ll be wondering if I can turn on the TV after about 45 minutes.
Tops.
Wow, why haven’t I found your blog before. Hi-fucking-larious.
I have to say, I too have been caught in the marathon bouncy session. I got blue balls, nuff said.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one!! Marathon sex looks pretty on TV… in the REAL WORLD- it looks sweaty and gross and my cooter goes numb after about half an hour of thrust…
Yes- marathon “sex” can have it’s place- lazy sunday afternoons lying with each other just snuggling and having foreplay is great… but let’s face it- most days, after spending the day working, taking care of house, kids, food, pets, etc etc etc- is there ANYONE who honestly wants to go to bed and have sex for HOURS??!!
If there is, it sure as hell isn’t me… lol
I don’t know how long a marathon session is. When hubby and I first got together we had some back to back….but they didn’t last long and that’s fine. We do it regularly and fairly quickly and all is well…. and I am all about sleeping like the dead afterwards…it’s a great feeling!
I’ll say it’s a preference for quickies (meaning 1/2 hour or less). The one time I did the marathon five hour thing, I ended up passing out once I tried to stand up and getting a bladder infection from dehydration and getting rubbed raw in tender places. Bleh. It’s just not nearly as much fun as some folks make it out to be… At least in my experience and opinion.
Skydds – that’s exactly what I was getting at when I wrote this. I hear about ALL THESE PEOPLE talking about how they just had three hours of amazing sex, and I just call bullshit. If you aren’t chafing after the first half hour, I need to know what lube you’re using cause that’s some NASA shit.
I love having quickies! Besides, men can’t last THAT long, even if they come back they aren’t as strong as the first go around! So why not make it last? And I orgasm quickly, and so does my partner. BUT…the three hour kissing-cuddling-makinglove sessions do rock. I think it’s just the idea of the day-long romp that would be amazing…the whole, I want to spend a day with no one but YOU, and be in your natural state, talking and making love, but…lets face it! I would want to walk around…you know…EAT….go to the bathroom…and I would feel guilty for being so lazy…
So, in reality, this article really does make me think, that a long romp session wouldn’t be THAT awesome. I am glad you wrote this article, most definitely! Quickies are fun, dirty, to the point, and meet both of our needs. GO QUICKIES!
BTW, that lube comment above is HILARIOUS…some NASA shit…HAAH! Awesome. I get chaffing, too. Then I’m just like…lets stop and sleep now KEITHNX. HAHA!
There’s just something so decadent about laying in bed and exploring each others’ bodies for hours and hours. Unfortunately, I’m notorious among my friends for being late to social engagements (or missing them entirely) because I was in bed (or elsewhere) fucking. And not because 30 minutes before I was supposed to leave I thought it would be a good time to bang. There’s just soooo much to human sexuality, and when I have a partner who is as playful and as adventurous as I am it’s difficult to limit myself to just a quickie!
Its like this was pulled out of my super-secret sex diary or something.
Drawn-out sex sessions can be quite fun…rarely. Even in shorter sessions (half an hour to an hour), I can get terribly sore. Longer sessions usually involve more than sex (y’know, BDSM play and whatnot. *grin*).
Shorter is just fine with me.
Oh, no no no, I love the marathon sessions. Depends on the partner, of course, but the one I’m currently with is nearly impossible to get off. He goes for hours, no pills necessary. Just dive right in, the water’s fine, and he’s happy in the clam for as long as it takes. I’m off and running within the first minute, and I can climax repeatedly as long as there’s stimulation.
My ex bf, bless him, he was a sweetheart, would be over and done as soon as I’d come once or merely raked my fingernails down his back. That was it. Game over. He’d be asleep and I’d be fuming because I am not a single-orgasm gal. I have needs. He didn’t meet them. And HE left ME. Ah, well. I went on to bigger and better things. Literally!
I’m with most of ya’ll. The IDEA of a marathon session is great, but… seriously, there’s a ton of things I like to do with my man, and only part of them are in bed. Luckily for me, orgasms are pretty easy to get, just with reg sex, so … both of us are satisfied, I still get my 6 hrs sleep, and there’s plenty of time to play around. I can’t handle a whole lotta foreplay, because I’ll get bored, so 3 hrs of fore wouldn’t work for me!
It sounds awful to say I’d get bored, but it’s more that I get really distracted, and lose focus.
Well, we just had a baby 3 weeks ago. My poor husband isn’t getting anything! lol I think he’d kill for a quickie right about now.
I think your article got the point across. I’m sure we all usually do the quickie. For us the marathons come about 2or3 times a year! I savor those moments… Quickies are tolerable… Not what I want but what must be. I am a sex fein if we left the definition up to sum of you!! Household chores work blah blah blah…. When its time for bed my husband and I are all GO!!!
I know what a hard day is like. We have 9 children ages 17yrs old-15mos… I have them home ALL the time!! We don’t ship them off to school I teach them @ home! Talk about work! There is a 1yr old a 2yr old AND a 3 year old! We have a 5bd 2 story house with all the extra everything. Sounds nice and it is but when it comes to cleaning.. Omg we rotate chores 3times a day to keep up. With a full time mothering position, teacher, cleaner, baker seamstress referee, counselor, nobody can say I dnt know what a hard day is like. Even after all that I do during the day nothing can diminish the thrill of being alone with my soulmate, even if its a quickie. Of course I would perfer the marathons over the quickies tho.
Oh yeah BTW the NASA crack wasn’t really that funny! You think its bull but what makes you think that? I’ve had 4hrs of great awesome sex w no chaffing… Only k y warming gel and orgasms over and over… No utis… Soreness yes but well worth it! Guess I just have a great lover LUCKY ME!!!
Andie – While silicone lubricants can last for awhile, most of the gals I know opt for water-based for PIV sex, for several reasons…cost and ease of clean up being the most common. The reason water-based lubricants will get sticky or gummy, essentially “wearing off”, is that your body is absorbing the water – i.e. most of what’s in your lube – and leaving the ‘other stuff’ behind. Hence, a common experience during marathon sessions is either having chaffing after the lube wears off, or having to reapply fairly often (depends on the..er..enthusiasm of your partner’s technique, shall we say?)
You are likely a woman who produces a lot of natural moisture, so that’s awesome! I’m always happy to hear of people having a good time at sex, regardless of the helper(s) involved. In defense of my guy, my partner is excellent as well, I just don’t lubricate copious amounts naturally, a common experience of women on certain medications. So yep, you are lucky!
Have fun!
plus, water evaporates.
i love silicone lube. so much that i bought a half gallon off of ebay from a chemical supply house (dimethicone).
Oooh CP, you can do that? That’s one thing I can honestly say I never thought of. *scribbles it down for future reference*
I know any woman who’s ever wished her man would last a little longer will hate me for saying this, but sex lasting less than an hour is a rare exception in my life lately … and dammit, I MISS QUICKIES!!!
My last gentleman and I tended to aim for quickies and end up with marathon sessions, which was hilarious to me; I am normally one to conk straight out after an orgasm. To find someone who not only turned me on enough to get me off, but who turned me on while *I* was getting *him* off – and vice versa, so that it’d end up going in a loop for hours – was about as astonishing as it gets.
The one time we managed it was when I was teasing him for continuously hitting the “snooze” button one morning. I told him he could push it one more time, but after that I was going to resort to drastic measures because otherwise we’d be late to work.
I resorted to said measures. Neither of us were late to work. And I think I left a permanent impression that still holds up to this day.
So, by “permanent impression”, do you mean one of memory? Or Wil-E-Coyote style in the bedframe? Cause I gotta tell ya, the mental imagery of the latter is hilarious!
this post got me thinking about a marathon session with a favourite fuckbuddy that i hadn’t seen in a while – we took some red wine and crisps to bed with us and took our time, breaking every now and then for some chips and swig of wine. so there we were, 30 minutes into the marathon when i started to really burn up down there – took me a while to realise it was the crisps. they were chilli flavour hehe