Squirting Vaginas Freak Me Out

squirtingI feel like porn from the 70’s was awesome in a way that will never be repeated. It was a golden age, if you will. Women had gi – fucking – normous bushes that reached right over to the tops of their thighs. They had bad hair, weird skin, and were only moderately attractive, with their one primary attribute being their ability to go so far onto the “bad” side of the acting spectrum, that it actually looped right back around to “funny.” And that, my friends, was your average 1970’s porn. And it was fantastic. I don’t have to compete with those porn stars, because they look like me! Or, G-D willing, WORSE! Now, not only do I have to compete with women who have breasts large enough to warrant their own zip codes, air – brushed butts, and lipoed thighs, but now people, NOW, now I have to fucking learn how to squirt! Oh what the hell..?!

Squirting….Yuck

Have you watched porn lately? I don’t mean the amateur stuff from YouPorn, I mean some of the more serious stuff coming out. Not only do most of these women squirt when they orgasm, meaning actually ejaculate from their vaginas, they fucking gush buckets! 1. I don’t entirely see how that’s sanitary, nor how you can really clean up after an event like that, and 2. I’m sorry… EW. Why is this desirable? Why is this something that turns men on? In fact, if you’re a man, would you please leave a comment and let me know what about this seems awesome to you? I actually showed a clip to my husband, who managed a, “Wow” before returning to reviewing papers. I couldn’t really tell if that was his thing or not, but he didn’t start pawing at the screen and drooling out of one side of his mouth, so I’m guessing not.

Why Has Squirting Become Popular?

So, it’s not bad enough that now women have to get lipo, lip injections, hair dye, and designer vaginas, but now I have to be able to use that vagina to hit a moving target at seventy miles per hour with just my kegel muscles, and a prayer? Look, I don’t mean to get down on women and how we orgasm. Sex should be great, and you should enjoy it, and it should lead you to your happy place, whatever that may look or sound like. I guess I’m just really confused as to why squirting is suddenly popular and desirable.

My Vagina Doesn’t Do Magic Tricks

It also begs the question of, what next? Ok, so now we’ve moved from regular chicks, to ones who are made up of eighty per cent non – biodegradable material. We’ve gone from bad pubic hair to no pubic hair, and now we’ve gone from orgasm to Old Faithful. At some point in the future, do I have to be on the look out for women who can bend their knees both ways? Should I be worried about competing with chicks who have found a way to make some heretofore unknown orifice? What about some woman who can do magic tricks with her vagina, like saw a man in half with it? Dude, my vagina doesn’t do magic tricks. I can’t compete! I’m already stressing about this!

I’m Pretty Much A Porn Genius

I am hereby calling for a return to the 1970’s view of women; somewhat hairy, kinda dorky, but innocent and with bodily fluids that primarily stay in the body. I, like men, would really like to see a porn with someone who looks more like me. Or WORSE than me. Give a girl hope, ok? I wanna see some chick who hasn’t been to the gym in two months (yeah, I am totally canceling that membership already!) order pizza, and have it delivered by Mr. October. I wanna see the tour bus for Australian Thunder From Down Under break down right outside this quiet librarian’s house, and they feel so guilty about calling AAA on her phone, that they all decide they have to pay her back by giving her multiple orgasms… and doing her laundry. You’re turned on right now, aren’t you? Yeah, I’m like a freaking porn GENIUS right here. How have I not been hired by the porn – makers of the world yet? What’s up with that?

I’m Freaked Out

Anyway, I think the real issue is that this is all getting out of control. I need things to go back to the way they were. No more squirting, no more DVDA, no more sex that nobody except the actors actually have. Bring back the dirty hotel rooms, the shady looking skinny dudes, and the hand – held camera action! Because, and let’s be honest here, I really can’t have my husband trying to use my vagina as a squirt gun. The whole idea just freaks me out… there will never be enough plastic tarps in the world for me to have a go at that.

Are you a squirter? Does it turn you on? If so, dear G-D… why?

The Kinky Jew About The Kinky Jew

The Kinky Jew and her husband got married last year, and live and work in the DC area with their two cats… who don’t actually work at all, but sort of freeload. KJ is a Consultant, and leads a very normal daytime job, which mostly includes Project Management, and working in a predominantly male dominated environment. The Kinky Jew also maintains a blog on PNN where she posts as Hannah Banana. She enjoys discussing sexuality, finance, religion, as well as any other topic that comes to mind.

Comments

  1. I feel sorry for you because you have such a low self esteem. Squirting isn’t something you learn. If the guy knows what he’s doing, it just happens. It’s normal. All women CAN squirt if the right kind of stimulation is provided (both physical and mental). Men (and women) who are disgusted by this should feel ashamed for bashing on nature.

  2. Damienne says:

    This is my first time on this site.. Stumbled upon this site by accident, because I was googling “squirters and gushers”. Why? Because I’m a 28 year old woman, and found out last week that I am a gusher. And when it happened I had the most amazing orgasm EVER, but also bawled for half an hour afterwards because I was so ashamed. I have been with the same man for 10 years, and like some pretty kinky stuff. But could never understand why I hardly ever orgasmed, and when I did, it was rarely of the “mind-blowing” kind.
    This article was very hurtful to me. I’m not here to point fingers and tell you that you are an awful person. But really, if this was meant to be a joke, well I don’t get it. I understand the point you were trying to get across, but the implication that squirters are gross was uncalled for. This could have been a great blog, had you stuck to the point, instead of saying that squirting was gross and disgusting etc.
    I admit, I looked up some “squirting” porn scenes, and found it to be repulsive to look at.. But who cares? Don’t watch that type of porn! I watch porn all the time and had never seen that, until I specifically looked it up.
    I just wanted you to realize, that just as I was starting to come to terms with the fact that if I want to have an amazing orgasm, then it would require a special blanket (and possibly some scuba gear, haha), i read this!! Though I’m glad I did, because I would not have known about the fascinator blanket.. Thanks people I am sooo gonna have to invest in one!!!!

  3. Thanks a lot for sharing a very nice information, please keep it up!

  4. sounds like to me we got alot of incontinent ppl with weak bladders i dont even like mans sperm in my mouth it just ewww

  5. I honestly never knew what the big fuss was about until the first time when i did squirt. There is nothing more relieving or anything more satisfying than that. i have never felt any more loved or needed until it happened. Since i have taught myself to do it. i have not had a better sex life since! I am so glad that my husband asked for me to learn and read up about it so i could make him happy, but in itself it really was to make me happy!

  6. i think it is freaking awesme because i am a scorpio mail and it is as important for me to know that my partner is satisfied as it is for me to be satisfied.

  7. am a squirter ,all i can say is you haven't seen anything yet!!!!!!!!!

  8. you ae all nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. I'm frankly kinda put out by your conflation of squirting with air-brushing and lipo. I don't know why it's such a big deal in porn right now either, assuming it is- (I don't watch it) but I view the situation very differently.

    I was raised, as almost all of us were, in a culture that enforced femininity as delicate, groomed, and quiet. God forbid we do anything loud or messy during sex. Having to hold back is repressive and icky, and has more in common with shaving your cootch than the afro-bushes of your 70's porn. No one is asking you to perform. Your husband doesn't care for it, apparently, so unless you are a porn star or in an open relationship with squirting aficionados, just let it go.

    If you don't squirt, fine. That's you, and I'm not judging. But don't judge me, either. My body isn't gross. If your delicate sensibilities are offended, I suggest you watch less porn.

  10. I know I’m late to the party but I find it interesting that people who want tolerance are so intolerable.

  11. Squirting is the answer to faking.
    You can’t fake having an orgasm if your a squirter… that should be a bonus to the male world.

    Also, if you took two seconds to realize women deal with male ejaculate (yes, its messy, we hate it getting on the bed) but its a fact of life women accept, and you would be smart to return the favor (or else your hand will be your only friend).

    Men generally find pride in making a girl cum- & I’d bet you’d be feeling the same way.

    I would also like to point out often porn over emphasizes all aspects of sex and squirters normally only produce the same volume as the cum an average man produces. So please quit knocking something you’ve only seen in porn.

  12. In our ten-plus years of marriage, this has happened to my wife twice or so. More if you count the minor occurrences. What makes it enjoyable to me is the thought that here is more proof that I gave her a fantastic sexual experience. So, in that sense, a gush is equivalent to a moan, a tremble, an incessant need to help with the thrusting, and other signs of being into it. Nothing more, nothing less.

  13. I think if you are going to write a controversial (sarcastic *sic) article, whether or not it is your personal opinion or not, and tell a certain number of the population that they are gross, then you have got to expect some backlash from that. And, if you are going to write about a topic intelligently, then you should do your research and actually watch some porn and educate yourself about the topic… Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. :)

  14. I like pizza. I like pizza and a side of carrots and ranch dressing. I like pizza and Peroni. Maybe that’s as good as it gets. If it is, that’s ok.

  15. I skimmed the firestorm replies. Not gonna get tangled in all that today.

    I’ve squirted before, but it’s rare. It’s always a pleasure when it happens and I enjoy it, as do those on the receiving end. I think it’s a healthy, happy thing to happen, but I don’t really need to see it happen on camera. It just looks weird.

  16. I’m sorry it’s creepy to you… :(
    But, I, like Toy With Me, am a squirter. I found out by accident many years ago, but it’s awesome. My vagina doesn’t do magic tricks on command, though. Just a fun thing that makes the whole night better… Dry orgasms are fine, just not as super fabulous.

  17. I found the article very funny. Even sent it to my hubs at work. He LHAO at it too. I am a squirter, and I wasn’t the least bit offended, and find it amazing that some people seem to take such personal offense. If you take it with a grain of salt, and I don’t know, get a sense of humor, maybe you would have enjoyed it too.

  18. I expressed myself poorly, and this has led to being misinterpreted. I did not mention the Holocaust, Nazis or genocide (check my comments, only my detractors have said that). And I apologize that it was so possible to read my comment that way (I can see how easy it would be to jump to that conclusion AND why that would be so offensive.). I would have served my point better by not mentioning any specific group – the point intended was that throughout history different groups have been socially acceptable to hate. (I think of how in white American culture in the early 20th century blackface minstrel shows were socially acceptable. We have since woken up to the fact that they are offensive and hurtful.)

    Women are still a group that it’s socially acceptable to shame and hate. We live in a rape culture, a culture rife with domestic violence and other violence against women. It’s disappointing that a woman would help perpetuate hatred and shame of women’s bodies in such a culture. I realize this was not what the Kinky Jew intended, but what people were trying to do here, and often failing, myself included, is to point this out to her. Some people got personal, I was attempting to use examples that might hit home but not directly put down the Kinky Jew, but this was a piss poor choice on my part, and again I apologize.

    I’m not a clear thinker when I’m emotionally upset. I should have kept my fingers off the keyboard. I just get pissed off that we live in a culture where women are made to feel bad about their natural odors and natural body fluids. We’re told we need either vaginal deodorants or to douche to “clean” ourselves, as if we are smelly and dirty. Vilifying women’s bodies is hurtful, and it only adds to the ability for sexists to view women as lesser or of no value.

    So, hopefully my apology is accepted. And I would bet that people who know me know that no offense was intended, and as I’m someone who will take responsibility for their mistakes I have come here to apologize for any hurt my terrible analogy caused.

  19. Mr. Toy With Me left a comment on my blog, which brings me back here. I stand by my original comments, in that yes, I was offended by the post and found several others on the site to be offensive as well.

    However, I appreciate Kinky Jew’s apology, and anti-semitism should never be brought into this. As a fellow Jew, I hope you understand that is not something that I ever intended. I do appreciate your ability to recognize that not everybody saw the humor in the post, and that’s okay.

  20. I haven’t read all of the comments, but I have to say, this article was disappointing. Not in the sense that the author doesn’t “get” or like the squirting craze, or that her opinion doesn’t matter, but in the sense that there are many women who DO squirt, naturally, without “learning” how from porn.

    The first time it happened to me, I was embarassed and didn’t know exactly what it was. I had to research it online, and if I had come across this article, I’m fairly certain I would’ve been embarassed and scared that it might happen again. Thank goodness I’ve had supportive lovers. I’ve come (haha) to embrace the fact that I squirt as just another part of my sexuality. All of my lovers have liked it, mostly due to the fact that they know, without a doubt, that I’m enjoying myself. Just last night, I was told that it was “the fucking hottest thing ever.” It’s not as uncommon as you’d think.

    I suppose that I am mostly disappointed that on a site for women, run by women, that we would find an article that could make women feel embarassed or ashamed over something that is something that is natural and they have no control over.

  21. I won’t get into the topic at hand and the tension. All I’ll say is that I still have difficulty watching men ejaculate in porn…don’t get me started on pearl necklaces, their purpose and whatnot. Then there’s snowballing, something that I can’t find pleasurable. I try to take a leaf out of Karl Lagerfeld’s approach (he’s been quoted detailing his method of accommodating things he finds gross by asking himself- in depth questions, well in depth for a fashion designer- ‘what is it that I don’t like?’), but even he doesn’t confirm whether his self interview style works. I still can’t get aroused by cum shots and snowballing still grosses me out but that’s not to say that I don’t like penises.
    Now squirting vaginas….
    I have to say that the image accompanying your post cracked me up something silly. It reminded me of a hypothetical ejaculation scene in the first Scary Movie, except in reverse.

  22. MoM (but not the real One) says:

    Honestly people do you hear yourselves or think before you speak at all! You sound like a bunch of little kids with all this name calling and ridiculous bullshit! I could address each one of you but figure you’re all old enough to figure out if my comments pertain to you or not. This article did make me think. Honestly I never even heard of it before now. I got the humor of the article along with the lesson. Personally I am one damn strong woman and an article can’t make anyone feel shame unless you let it. Sounds like some of you need work on self esteem. I don’t mean this to be hurtful just call’em like I see’em. Overreacting comments…hell yes they are. Come on people …this is over the top. Really I have seen more comments on this post and yeah..that’s not bad for business right. Some of you really need to lighten up…life is short. Does anyone really care if you “squirt” or not….no!!! It’s personal and everyone is entitled to have their own feelings but attacking someone…not so much. Now if you knew KJ you’d realize she is the last to judge anyone and comparing this article to insults that are downright nasty is disgusting. By those I mean the insults about someone’s color or religion. Really people you should be ashamed at yourselves. I know I am ashamed of you. Mr. TWM….AMEN!!! I am so with you brother. To the ladies who post on this site….keep on writing girls…you are actually educating some of us and we do get the humor. Life is short and I plan on enjoying each day I’m given and to all of you hung up on being bitter and ugly. I am sad for you….someday you will get what life is all about and I’ll give you a hint …slinging mud is not it! KJ…I love ya and screw anyone who is so as evil inside as some of these commenters. Just smile and keep on being you!

  23. I’m really impressed with the bottle opening move, what dude wouldn’t appreciate that?

  24. You know what? Originally I just meant for this to be a silly little post, with zero intentions of hurting anyone. It was meant as a laugh, because sex is funny, and bodies are funny, and I was hoping that most of the readers here would be adult enough to get that. I appreciate those who have, or those who have disagreed without bringing any sort of xenophobia into it. If I misspoke, then that accident is on me, and I take that one.

    But for those out there who are bringing holocaust bullshit into this, I say shame on you. This article wasn’t intentionally offensive, but instead of saying, “hey, maybe you intended it to be funny, but some of us are sensitive about this, and we’re feeling a bit hurt,” I hear that people are tweeting nasty things and putting certain meanings into my words which were clearly unintended (and if you’ve ever read anything about me, you would *know* that it was not intended to be hurtful). I am sorry that *you* are not comfortable enough with your sexuality to laugh about it, I know I do. But if the best you can do is post holocaust crap on a Jew’s blog, then I guess that tells me the level of debate skills we’re dealing with here.

    There is no persecution going on on the TWM site. Nobody is saying that women who squirt should be sent to death camps, or be forced to wear arm bands with a squirting vagina on the side. By comparing the standards from porn in the 70’s to the porn of today, I was saying that expectations of women are getting higher. Some of you couldn’t get that, because you were so busy trying to find persecution. Ok. I can’t stop you, if that’s what you want to see.

    Again, I appreciate those who respectfully disagree with me, or who have been offended (and I apologize again for that, as it was not my intent) but managed to keep their tone civil. For those who have supported me, because you know I meant no harm, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart.

    For all the rest, leave your comments, but I (and dear G-D I hope you as well!) am moving on. Happy thanksgiving to all!

  25. My last attempt at explaining for those of you who refuse to get it: shaming women about their bodies is a sexist trope that has been around for a long time. (Think about all those commercials for vaginal deodorant. Do men’s genitals get a bit whiffy sometimes too? Yes. Why isn’t there male genital deodorant? Because shaming men about their genitals isn’t nearly as acceptable as shaming women.)

    Sexism and racism or anti-Semitism are directly comparable. Just because it’s acceptable in social group doesn’t make it right.

  26. Rain City Baby says:

    I’m sorry but this is really inappropriate. You’re right, porn does make women out to be these unmatchable barbie dolls and we can’t compete with that. But you know what? We don’t need other women reinforcing this idea that our bodies are somehow gross and wrong. Squirting is a really natural thing, some women do it and some women don’t just like some women have really sensitive nipples and some women don’t. As a woman, and as someone who is purportedly sex positive I think this is way out of line.

  27. Not a hung up sexblogger says:

    That’s why sex writing is filled with hypocrisy. The very moment anyone tries to step away from the throng of yes people to express something RARE – a sexual opinion about porn – they’re treated like the proverbial nail – a bunch of sex bloggers will try to hammer them down for their opinion.
    I don’t care how you try to work your argument Nadia, it’s not a comparison to compare someone’s view on squirting and religious or racial bigotry.
    I’ve never liked watching squirting porn. I don’t find it attractive. It makes me cringe and I’m female. So what? That doesn’t mean I’m racist or a religious bigot. Why is it taboo to proclaim that some of the porno trends are over the top or bordering on ridiculousness? If a multi AVN award winning adult film director has the balls to admit that most porn is a ‘circus’ act, then why are women effectively raked over virtual hot coals for expressing an opinion.
    It’s fucking ridiculous.
    There is another possible reason why sex bloggers are livid about this post. Its honestly. Honestly has been missing from sex blogs for a while now. Most sex blogs are commercial ventures with little or no honest opinion about anything -lest it displease some sponsor. My theory, some sex bloggers don’t like the fact that other sites, i.e. this one, are more popular than their blogs.
    I say it’s about time there were some honest opinions about issues that do affect – on some level- women’s sex lives, and porn does that. If women don’t like certain styles of pornography, then they have EVERY RIGHT to express that or question it.
    If people don’t like it, then don’t read it but to call someone names and use religious/racial bigotry as a comparison is pure and utter BS.

  28. @KinkyJew:

    I don’t mean to sound like I’m trying to step on your toes but it seems to me like you already have stepped on other’s in a sense. I personally responded to you post because I thought I might be able help others (male or female) understand some of the misconceptions associated with this subject, and, that you had asked for responses from people that have had some experiences with it.
    There are a lot of accusations and assumptions being leveled here that I think nobody had intended. I also think it is going far beyond the expression of individual opinion as I see a lot of polarization occurring as the responses roll in.

    I was rather taken back by your presentation regarding this subject matter considering that it is something you have never experienced for yourself and that in itself troubled me because whether you are a KinkyJew or not, a sex blogger or not, paid or not, most individuals know that they like whether it is a stick of butter up their ass or being tied and flogged while sucking a Popsicle.
    Everyone’s tastes and desires are different and everyone also has every right to say what their likes and dislikes are, or might be. However; Your presentation on this subject seemed very close to a personal attack on those with open and healthy physical intimacies.
    I pointed out a couple of concerns that I had about they way you spoke of the 70’s being better in your mind because everything wasn’t so commercialized and idealized so much back then. It was about being horny and having sex and it was taboo and frowned upon even then.

    I’m glad that things have evolved into where they are today. I do miss some of the things about the 70’s but that era is long gone and we have no choice but to develop and grow with the current trends, or sit idle on the sideline and critique idea’s we don’t fully understand. I choose to grow as long as I can until I find that my body and mind cannot support the current ways of thinking and then it will be time for me to rest for awhile.

    That is all I have to say.

  29. Kinky Jew, I love you and always will. I’ve read you on here since you’ve started and I read Sunny Days. You have your opinion, and we have ours.
    If you find something unattractive and say, “Dear G-D why?” to something, that’s you stating your lack of understanding why others find it attractive. That is not you stating that you think those people are freaks or idiots.
    Some of the people commenting on here need to take a chill pill and maybe, uhm, get some? Before they start talking smack about an OPINION article written on a free website that they aren’t forced to read in the first place! First Amendment anyone?

    I’d like to tell everyone that has a problem with someone else’s opinion to get over themselves and remember the best advice I’ve ever heard come out of my father’s mouth: “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one and all of them stink. Now let’s sit in front of the tv and eat cornflakes with chocolate teddy grahams in them.” *nods sagely* He was a true mentor.

    Grab a box of cornflakes, a box of teddy grahams, the 2%, and let’s watch some Jerry Springer, ya’ll! THOSE are some messed up mo-fos!

  30. For the record, Kinky Jew and ToyWithMe are some of my favorite bloggers. Not that I always agree. I got all exorcised at the notion of “cougar” being a positive term. I think I went so far as to say that I “hated the term”. I still don’t think I agree. But the personal attacks? Sad, very sad.

  31. Sex Blogger Extraordinaire says:

    @Not a hung up sexblogger: Does it really matter why people use Twitter? What makes you not a sheep for following discussions and topics on Twitter? In those discussions and topics, have you never found something you didn’t agree with? What if I called you a sheep for using Twitter? Following the crowd to the next biggest social networking site. (I’m not, I’m just saying)

    Twitter can be used for anything anyone wants. Hell, someone can log all of their bowel movements each day if they wanted to. Who are we to say that anything someone writes on Twitter is petty? And again, I believe you’re completely being a hypocrite by downing Britni for writing her opinion and calling it a “hate campaign” when this blog post is no different. This post is filled with negativity about squirting and is an opinion. They are no different. But I guess because YOU don’t find the post offensive, then everyone else who did and Tweeted about it is wrong?

    I’ve read the Twitter comment Britni made, although I didn’t come here from that because I don’t have a Twitter account. That comment read, “This article is offensive, prude, and body-shaming. Shame on you @toywithme” with a link to the web page. That comment is not only an opinion, but it brings up a topic (squirting) and can (most definitely has) lead to a discussion.

    The point I’m trying to make is that words are left to be interpreted by the reader. When you write something that comes across to so many others in a way that you didn’t intend, then maybe you should rethink the way you worded it.

    I once wrote a post about 2 Hispanic men who rubbed their dicks on my ass in a 7-11 when they walked behind me. I pretty much blasted Hispanic men in that post for being slime balls and constantly making rude comments and gestures to women. I tried to write it in a humorous, satirical way. I re-read it several times before I published it and thought it was comic genius. EPIC FAIL. I was blasted out on who knows how many blogs (one’s I’d never visited or received comments from) for being a racist. To this date, it was the most comments I’ve ever received. I apologized. Why? Because I wasn’t trying to offend anyone at all. My disgust was with a handful of men and not an entire race, yet my post didn’t come across that way, which I didn’t realize at first. Now, I’m not comparing race to squirting. I’m comparing writing.

    If the few people here defending Kinky Jew are right about her, then she wouldn’t be so rude in her retort. She would see that maybe what she said really isn’t exactly what she meant and it actually was offensive. Maybe offer a better explanation? Something?

    As for your comment on the sex bloggers first reactions…..many of them have readily admitted to be insecure about squirting. Sure they’ve accepted it, but obviously there are still many people out there who find it to be abnormal and gross.

    It’s late. I’m going to bed. You guys have a wonderful evening. I’m going to go practice trying to squirt. I have the Pure Wand and it just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? Is there a trick to that thing? Like a hidden make you squirt button or something?

    • Actually namelesschaos, I think that the comparison is valid as the context in which the post was written was seeing porn in which the argument could be made the the squirting was certainly an act that was voluntary. The type of porn she was describing involves stimulating the g-spot for the sole purpose of “the money shot.”

      Having said that, I have the feeling that if she had posted that she was grossed out by semen she would have gotten the same reaction from some.

      Nadia, honestly? Comparing the persecution of the Jews under the Nazis to a blogger saying she is grossed out by female ejaculate?

  32. “Others commenting here (like Nadia West), who have tried to use religion as a comparison have more issues, by using trying to make a pathetic comeback argument/comparison with “Do you have sex with Jews,” dig themselves in deeper ditches; How is there any similarity between finding squirting gross (which is a individual opinion) and religion. For those who have tried to somehow bring in Jewishness into it and compare squirters with a religion by trying to establish a ‘nation’ of squirters (which doesn’t exist), I’d further say they’re so low they’re brushing the border between ‘open mindedness’ and anti-Semitism.”

    Once upon a time, in another place, it was fine to express prejudice against Jews. It was a socially acceptable bigotry. I’m certain in some parts of the world it is still socially acceptable. A Jew who complained of bigotry in such a situation would be deemed “too sensitive,” much like the offended commenters here. But the fact is, this bigotry is hurting an entire group of persons whether the dominating group can see that through their privilege or not. Certainly there must have been plenty of people in Europe of old who thought there was nothing wrong with denigrating Jews and that they were “just stating their opinion!” What we find here is that to a certain extent discriminating against women who ejaculate is still socially acceptable. I think the people here having trouble seeing how you can compare Jewishness to squirting are still buying into the idea that it’s okay to put down squirters and make them feel dirty, wrong, and gross for what their body does naturally.

    It used to be socially acceptable to discriminate against blacks. It’s still considered socially acceptable to discriminate against fat people. It doesn’t mean that discrimination against blacks is hurtful but discriminating against fat people is just fine and dandy.

  33. @Mr Toy with me
    If she had posted that she thinks it is disgusting to see a women take a facial would you all be similarly appalled and offended if this was something you enjoyed?

    You seem to be missing the point as many have pointed out for many women squirting is not a choice it is an involuntary physical reaction by comparing it to entirely voluntarily acts in porn you are at best comparing apples to oranges.

    This is why people keep comparing the situations to other manifestations of genetic variability (not voluntarily choice in behavior). Again the difference is that the kinky Jew is NOT saying a voluntarily sexual act is gross she is she is saying a certain phenotype is gross. Now I says this as one who believes that making a fetish out of certain phenotypes in porn to be an interesting topic and certainly worth of discussion. However, that discussion begin with the the acknowledgment that a phenotype is not the same as a voluntary act. Your defense which ignores that demonstrates why so many found this post offensive.

    and no I’m not using big words to sound smart I’m just using the most neutral terminology I can find to illustrate the point.

  34. @Mr. Toy With Me

    “Are you a squirter? Does it turn you on? If so, dear G-D… why?”

    That right there, is where she basically says that there is something WRONG with people who squirt or who find it appealing. Had she left out the “dear G-D…” part, it wouldn’t have sounded nearly so derogatory.

    I don’t feel the least bit remorseful about my comments (and two quotes from me got on your little list of examples, so GO ME!) because I’m saying what I feel, just like the original author.

    I don’t consider myself particularly sensitive either. People leave me terrible and insulting comments all the time, but I don’t get all butt-hurt over it. It’s the internet, grow a thick skin or maybe get a new hobby.

    I can’t squirt, and I haven’t really tried to learn how either, so I actually have no personal vested interest in this topic. In my case, YES, if it was facials or even scat play, I would be equally pissed if the tone of the article was similarly critical and narrow-minded. It has nothing to do with being sensitive. I don’t think it’s ok to say “My kinks/tastes/love of terrible 70’s porn is ok, BUT YOUR SQUIRTING IS NOT!”

    You may not see the tone of the article in that light, but a lot of us did, and we’re equally entitled to share our thoughts and opinions.

  35. Not a hung up sexblogger says:

    Sex Blogger Extraordinaire, I think the first reaction of sex bloggers indicates many things. Insecurity is one thing.
    If a person reacts negatively first hand and can’t see the satire in that, then they probably need to examine their own reasons for their hostile response. As for Twitter, I use Twitter to follow discussions and topics. I have already unfollowed two sex bloggers since yesterday as I’m not impressed with their hypocrisy.
    Others commenting here (like Nadia West), who have tried to use religion as a comparison have more issues, by using trying to make a pathetic comeback argument/comparison with “Do you have sex with Jews,” dig themselves in deeper ditches; How is there any similarity between finding squirting gross (which is a individual opinion) and religion. For those who have tried to somehow bring in Jewishness into it and compare squirters with a religion by trying to establish a ‘nation’ of squirters (which doesn’t exist), I’d further say they’re so low they’re brushing the border between ‘open mindedness’ and anti-Semitism.

  36. The way this article was written is disappointing and not at all sex positive. Sex is messy. Get over it. If you don’t squirt, then good for you. You don’t have to worry about it. I truly believe that you have every right and obligation to express yourself liberally, however your outright disgust of female squirting does not help promote this blog as a “go to” for sexually positive content. Sure, you’re getting a ton of comments on this article but you’re doing yourself no favors calling people “Republicans” for disagreeing with you (which by the way, Republicans have sex too). Lots of name calling and bickering on a site that should be about acceptance, intelligent debate, and thoughtful exchange of opinions. Not sexual closed-mindedness.

  37. I stumbled upon this brouhaha via twitter, and like many people I’m offended by the statement about squrting being “gross.” I do agree with the complaint that porn can cause a situation where women are feeling pressured to do certain things because they appear in porn – that is problematic. I had a friend who was distressed by the idea of her boyfriend coming on her face, and if she doesn’t want to do it she certainly shouldn’t be forced to just because it’s shown in porn and some women like it. However, as others have said, telling people that a normal function they have no control over is gross is pretty mean. Are you entitled to your opinion? Yes. But you can’t be surprised that some people find it offensive.

    KJ, if I posted on my blog about how “Do you have sex with Jews? If so, why?? Eww, that’s gross. Their big noses gross me out.” I’d certainly have the right to post that offensive, bigoted remark. However I would have to expect that people would call me on that shit (for the record, my Dom is Jewish and I’d never post something like that). Women can’t help if they squirt when they come. You can’t help being born of a certain religion/ethnicity. It does no one any good to make each other feel bad about things that aren’t choices.

    Even though perhaps something like footplay could be considered a “choice” I still don’t see the point in posting something inflammatory to make foot fetishists feel bad. (I use this as an example because it’s something that I personally don’t understand the attraction of.) As some others have pointed out, you could have phrased things differently so that you asked for information and didn’t participate in shaming. That you’re squicked by squirting is fine, shaming women who squirt is not.

    I squirt only sporadically – I don’t think it’s appropriate for someone to tell me that my orgasms – with or without squirting – are wrong. If you don’t like porn influencing women to try to do things they don’t do naturally, why are you trying to demean women who do squirt naturally? Aren’t they similar propositions?

    • I have to say that i watched this whole thing explode with a mixture of bemusement and WTF?

      A few things…….

      I think that the image that accompanies the post sets the tone as to what the post was supposed to be. A silly post that questioned the appeal of female ejaculation. Some of you obviously read it in a different light. I have to say that I am a bit taken back by some of the comments about it though……Here is a small sampling:

      “Shame on you @toywihtme
      “I am outraged”
      “this article is disgusting and offensive”
      “stop judging and shaming women, like men have done for long enough”
      “You appear to be disturbingly insecure”
      “I am similarly appalled and irritated by this article”
      “Your arrogance is unbecoming in a writer”
      “There’s enough crime against women in this world already, we don’t need other women perpetrating it against each other.”
      “I was outraged”

      A bit over the top no?

      If she had posted that she thinks it is disgusting to see a women take a facial would you all be similarly appalled and offended if this was something you enjoyed? ? If so I seriously feel for you as it must be difficult going through life being so sensitive.

      I have read the post over and over and I can not find one statement in it that says that she finds women who squirt disgusting. She finds female ejaculate gross. That’s it. She admits that she doesn’t get it. She says she doesn’t understand it. She asks why is it desirable. She had no intent whatsoever to offend anybody.

      I really am truly saddened by some of the comments on this post and on twitter. I can tell you that toywithme regrets and is embarrassed by her reaction to some of them and I think that many of you should be as well.

      Peace.

  38. Sex Blogger Extraordinaire says:

    This post was poorly written if the intent was sarcasm and humor. Obviously, Kinky Jew, many people did NOT find the post how you intended. Therefore, you should not have told Ang that it was shame she couldn’t see it right in front of her, as most people didn’t.

    That being said, I don’t think anyone should let this author make you feel gross or dirty for squirting. Being influenced by a strange woman’s blog is just like the writer feeling the need to compete with porn stars.

    I also think the the title of the blog isn’t fitting, especially when posts like this are written.

    @ Not a Hung Up Sex Blogger: You’re being hypocritical for downing what someone writes on Twitter (of all places) yet defending this blog post. One is not better than the other, as they’re both opinions. Liking one because you agree (or don’t take offense to) and condemning the other because you find it “petty” is as hypocritical as it gets.

    All you ladies keep on squirtin’ and making yourselves happy. And she’ll keep writing about things she doesn’t understand under the disguise of satire.

  39. The problem is that you are comparing apples to oranges.

    Squirting is not a fetish or a kink. It’s a natural function of some women’s bodies during their orgasms. It’s nothing like scat play, double vaginal/double anal, BDSM or any of the other sexual fetishes that people act out. Just because there is a genre of porn dedicated to it does not make it a fetish.

    A woman ejaculating is not any different than a man ejaculating. No one here has compared a man busting his nut all over a woman’s face (which is extremely common in most mainstream porn) to him smearing shit all over her during foreplay.

    The fact that female ejaculate is being compared to feces is very. fucking. offensive. It’s sexist. It’s ridiculous.

  40. comictragedy says:

    okay.. I lied.. but only because of this one fucking line..

    ”Are you a squirter? Does it turn you on? If so, dear G-D… why?”

    I’m really.. truly sorry for any of you who can’t hear the sillyness in her question.. let’s try this..

    “Do you smear shit all over yours and your partners body during foreplay? Does it turn you on? Geezus! I am so grossed OUT by that! Why would you do that? ”

    What do you think you *hear* in THAT statemenet? Are you as offended? Do you believe I am saying that if you play with shit during foreplay that I think there is something intrinsically wrong with you?

    jump down from your pathetically mounted little soap boxes.. and move on..

  41. Thanks for this post. People like you are the reason I didn’t know what the fuck was happening when I had orgasms when I was in my younger days and are still the reason that I feel nervous about coming in front of someone.

    I didn’t read the whole thread, so maybe you have come to the conclusion that you made an overly strong statement, but I hope that, if not, you will understand how hearing stuff like this from time to time hurt and shamed me when I was younger and think about the effects of your words.

  42. Is it just me, or do some of those women in those youporn clips look like they’re hurting themselves? That’s spanking on a new level … I wouldn’t want to treat my precious parts like that. And I’m a pretty lazy person … ie: would not appreciate having to change my sheets that often! And, and I shudder just imaging the places I’ve done it and how I’d explain the mess afterwards. I have no desire to “learn” and out of curiosity, I asked T-Bone what he thought. He said it might be hot as hell to see once, but he’s lazy too and would get sick of the mess.

  43. The last I’ll say on the subject as well:
    @toywithme: There is a HUGE difference between The Kinky Jew saying she is grossed out by squirting (which would be fine in my book, everyone is entitled to their own opinion) and her implying that those people who do it and who like it have something inherently wrong with them (“Are you a squirter? Does it turn you on? If so, dear G-D… why?”). This difference is what we were offended by, not the fact that The Kinky Jew herself finds it gross. If she had said in a lighthearted manner, “Hey, I know a lot of people do it and like it but, no offense, it totally grosses me out and I don’t understand the phenomenon!”, I don’t think there would have been a barrage of negative comments.

    I find waterplay gross, I don’t understand it, but I would NEVER disrespect someone who enjoys it by telling them that they are gross or have a screw loose for liking it. It’s not my thing, but to each their own.

    That being said, I appreciate your admission, @toywithme, that your original reaction toward commenters was emotional and harsh and I respect your willingness to post your regret. The Kinky Jew, however, has expressed no regret that her professed original intent, to deliver the message in a humorous, sarcastic way, was off the mark and that it actually offended people. A simple, “I’m sorry it offended you, it was not my intention to insult anyone” goes a lot further in keeping readers than “You want to be offended, so be it.”

  44. I am, apparently, a “sheep.” I have studied satire, sarcasm, debate, humor and other forms of discourse for years. This “article” fails to fall into any of those categories. Why? Because, like so many of the offended comments do in defense, it attacks an entire section of the population.

    Kinky? I would expect a kinky person to be more sex positive. Sure, not everyone gets off on squirting. I’m lucky enough to have someone that not only loves it but researches everything he can about it so he understands it and how to use it to our mutual advantage. I have been with men who attach a negative connotation to it – nearly identical to the negative connotations put forth in this “article” – and because of them I didn’t feel comfortable having a natural reaction to climax.

    This, too, was my introduction to what I had heard was a sex positive and open minded blog. Unfortunately, the blind defense of what is being called humor and satire (but meets none of the criteria) has totally turned me off to it. I was not brought to this piece by someone expecting me to be outraged; they merely asked me to be a critical thinker. I see after reading the comments here that I will be considered a sheep, because I too am vexed by the blatant claims that not only is squirting gross, but that anyone who prefers their squirting orgasms over ones that don’t cause that perfectly normal reaction is a dirty, nasty person.

    You don’t have to like it. But if you want to know why other people do, don’t ask in a tone that says you’re going to attack them for not being like you. The world doesn’t conform to one person, hence MOST of the kink community (but obviously not all) accepting that someone else’s kink isn’t gross or disgusting despite it not being for them. Making judgment calls on someone else’s body or choices is not open minded or sex positive. Sorry.

  45. Well darling being a sexologist myself and a connoisseur of both pussy and dick,
    I can tell you that I know what I like and squirting does nothing for me as either the giver or the receiver.

    In fact I would go as far as to say that the saving grace of deep dish pussy eating, for me is not having the happy ending, money shot issue, wet spot [okay perhaps a tiny one, since women tend not to slobber as much as men well at least I don’t], to deal with.
    That said I commend you on your handling of the topic I enjoyed it immensely almost made me smoke a cigarette!
    I must admit to a fondness for early porn days as well [ Behind The Green Door is a classic and it is in my collection.]
    I would hazzard a guess that the dissenter to your article is perhaps afraid of a little competition and fails to realize that to each blogger their own.
    As in, you write articles from your perspective and of course flavor it to suit your style [humor most welcome].
    Editorial articles need not be full of factoids and/or serve some purpose other than to entertain or share a personal view.
    If she or he does not like it then I say go fuck a squirter! and don’t read it. To start some asinine juvenile level web attack is just that juvenile…

  46. comictragedy says:

    okay.. this is my last input.. from a different point of view.. not just a barrage of comments coming from left field..

    what I know KJ was intending was this.. she PERSONALLY does not like squirting and is confused about why it seems gratifying.. she also makes an connection between porn and our society’s need to attach certain traits (big tits.. rib reduction surgery to make a smaller waist.. liposuction.. collagen injections in the lips.. labia reduction.. almost every type of surgical procedures that disfigures *IN MY OPINION* a woman’s natural looks) to women as some kind of standard we’re all supposed to aspire to.. she focused on squirting for this article.. she asked a genuine question.. “does this turn men on and if so why?” that is NOT the type of question one asks if they’ve already decided how they feel about something nor is it the type of question one would ask if they felt that the practice of squirting was horrendously gross and should not be done and if you do it you’re nasty.. in fact.. I would dare say KJ didn’t imply that at all..

    Britni TheVadgeWig you made a comment about your own blogs written some time ago as being peppered with snark and sarcasm and self-deprecating humor.. KJ herself uses self-deprecating humor often.. which begs the observation.. how can she be intolerant of someone else’s proclivities if she is directing the humor at herself? JD made a valid point.. she thinks shit play is N.A.S.T.Y. personally.. so do I.. and I don’t understand how that could even possibly be a turn on during sexual play.. now.. do I give a rat’s ass if you do it? um.. fuck no.. should I.. too.. expect to be vilified for feeling like that?

    I’m not going to speak to your tweet or your twitter entourage.. I would rather see the time line on twitter to see how the conversation progressed but I don’t know your twitter name.. regardless.. TWM took the upstanding position of admitting that her emotions got the better of her when she saw that the context of the article was being misrepresented and the comment thread was no longer being directed at what KJ said.. but more to how *you* interpreted it..
    I dare say that those who have stated they won’t return to the blog site will not be missed.. but if this thread is any indication.. this site will become national news and KJ will be interviewed by Matt Lauer himself!

    and.. finally.. I will say this again.. the comment about black pussy as analogy was dead wrong.. it wasn’t even close.. it sounded more like an opportunity for some dickless skinhead to make a racially insensitive comment under the guise of contribution.. and if anything.. there should be more verbal uprising to that than to KJs original article..

    but.. who am I.. just another farmer.. out standing in her field..

  47. Not a Hung Up Sex Blogger says people who use Twitter are sheep?

    Guess all those people who used it to get Barack Obama elected, or the right-wing folks who use it to organize their ‘Tea Parties’ and the congressmen and senators who use it to communicate with their constituents are all sheep too, eh?

    Honestly, if that’s the level of your contribution to this argument, I’d really just keep schtum.

  48. Not a hung up sexblogger says:

    @ Britni, by using Twitter, I mean when bloggers use it to RT the most petty issue, not using Twitter in general.

  49. Wow. Guess who is late to the drama-rama party? Me!

    Oh, I also raise my hand as a squirter…and sometimes, it really annoys me. I miss the days where I didn’t end up in a puddle at the end of sex (but then again, I’ve shot for four porn companies – does this disqualify me to comment? I promise I don’t have fake boobs or bleached hair, or lipo or anything!).

    So I read the post. I was outraged. Then I read all these comments about it being sarcasm, and re-read the post.

    If it is indeed sarcastic, I think it may have missed its mark. However, if it WAS intended to be sarcastic, then what was the hope for a reaction, other than what happened? Some people agreeing with you that squirting is creepy and that porn pressures people, and other people strongly disagreeing, and saying that you yourself are feeling too much pressure from porn, and hence have said something that shames women. What else could you have wanted to happen? (not rhetorical – I really would like to know).

    As lots of people have said, squirting is natural. So is male ejaculate, and I’m sorry, but I personally hate seeing it on film. And that’s ok. Just like it’s ok for anyone to not enjoy watching squirting.

    I get the sarcasm and humor overall, I do. However, when sex is such a shamed thing already, and there is a line (the closing line, no less) of the post stating “Are you a squirter? Does it turn you on? If so, dear G-D… why?” I myself am a quite turned off by this. Women for years have felt complete shame from their ejaculations. Their partners have told them that they’re dirty, their doctors have told them they have urinary/bladder/pelvic floor issues, etc. It’s only because of the “normalization” of squirting (talking about it, placing it in media, etc) that people have finally realized that it’s ok, just like lubricating naturally, and morning wood, and wanting things put in your butt.

    You wrote a sarcastic post. It failed at being read as sarcastic (in most cases). But it did cause a lot of discussion, and people speaking up, and people coming to this blog who may have never been here before. And if that doesn’t make you happy, hopefully a jump in your traffic did. Please stop lambasting people for sharing their opinions – you shared yours, and chose not to moderate comments, so unless people are calling you a douche hat, this seems like fairly civil conversation to me, and a great forum for discourse. But that’s just me.

  50. Not a hung up sexblogger says:

    @Britni…I love it how bloggers always say, ‘I didn’t ask my readers/followers, etc’ to do anything. It’s not like anyone tried to stop it. You’re all adults for Christ’s sake. Using Twitter for a petty matter is infantile. People that don’t take a long break to think before reacting and use Twitter are sheep. I don’t care if that irritates anyone.

  51. Alyssa – Do you have an actual comment about the post? Or are you going for character assassination because a personal attack is just the best you can manage? Option number two, I think.

  52. if y’all have hated me enough to tweet about me, then you’re at least giving me and this site publicity.

    So you’re admitting you’re more concerned about getting publicity than providing honest, legitimate, thoughtful commentary? I guess that speaks volume about the “reviews” that have been done on the site here.

  53. Dear Ang, for someone who has, “studied satire, sarcasm, debate, humor and other forms of discourse for years,” it’s a shame you can’t see it in front of you. That said, if people want to be offended, then be offended. The article wasn’t written with that intent, but I suppose you are able to read into it whatever makes you happy, or in this case, unhappy.

    I get the distinct impression that had this article been about the promotion of “heroine chic,” or the pressure on women to have breast enlargement surgery, not for themselves but because society can put tremendous amounts of pressure on us, then I would have heard a thousand “huzzah”s. But because I’m discussing burgeoning societal pressure on a less PC topic, many have found it a-ok to be nasty. Some of you have raised very good points, and I take them into consideration and do appreciate your reading the post, but I side with JD on this: I have a right to have a perspective on things that don’t agree with yours. If you think your point is legitimate, then make it.

    If you don’t like me, and you want to hide behind less than clever screen names, NAHUSB, then fine. It’s the internet, and despite what some of you may like, you *are* all welcome to share your opinions.

    Keep commenting folks. You’re helping to ensure the site gets visibility! ;)

  54. @not a hung up sex blogger, I am the original tweeter that you are referring to. I simply posted my reaction to the article on Twitter. I did *not* ask 50 of my followers to retweet and come over here and comment. They did so on their own regard, because they had a similar reaction that I did. I tweet my reaction to many articles that are never retweeted by my followers, or garner the same kind of responses that this did.

    The people that agreed with my feelings are not “sheep.” Each one made different, and valid points based on personal experiences and backed up by Kinky Jew’s own words. And these people would be the first to tell me that I’m wrong about something; in fact, they do it quite often on my own blog.
    @ToyWithMe, I actually think the “black vaginas” metaphor is *quite* apt, and is not a jump at all.
    @MoM, This post didn’t garner “thought” from those disagreeing with it. It didn’t make me “think” about anything. It just regurgitated the same body shaming rhetoric that women have been subjected to for years and years, wrapped up in a pretty little bow of sarcasm and “humor.”
    @Kinky Jew, I hope you understand that the majority of these comments, mine included, were in no way meant as a personal attack on you (and this applies to @Toy With Me, too). A personal attack would have involved calling you horrible names and making baseless insults (while a handful of commenters did that, the majority did not). It was actually the people defending the piece that became insulting to those of us that did not.

    I responded with my reaction to the piece in a way that *I* hoped could open some eyes, or garner discussion. However, you shut down those with opposing views, instead of engaging us. Don’t get why we feel that way? Ask us to explain further. Think we’re overreacting and full of shit? Politely agree to disagree. Say you see our point, but that this post wasn’t intended to make anyone feel that way and you’re sorry that it did. When you write pieces on the internet about controversial topics (i.e. sex), you have to expect people to disagree. Not everyone agrees with what I write about on my blog, either, but if I shut down every dissenting comment, I’d have no readers left.

    I’ve poked around the site and read some of your other pieces, as I know that other ones on this site (not just yours) have garnered similar reactions in people. You’re very entitled to have your opinions, but when someone dares to disagree with you, instead of accepting their opinion or engaging them in a discussion about it, you shut them down with a snide or sarcastic remark. And I know more than one reader that has stopped reading because of it. Your opinion is not the end all and be all, and people are entitled to different ones. It seems that any time someone says something critical about something you write, you snap back with defensive “snark” (see this comment). Maybe it’s time to take a step back and examine that, especially if so many people feel the same way.

    Again, this is in no way a personal attack. My older posts (pre-2005) from my own blog have just been recovered from the depths of the internet archives, and I’m in the process of restoring them to my blog. And, honestly? They majority of them sound just like this. I get it. I actually miss being able to write with the snark, sarcasm, and humor that I once did, and I envy your style of writing, as it’s one that I’ve seemed to lost, myself. However, reading back through some of my old posts, I can see many instances of that sarcasm and “humor” being used in critical, offensive, and self-deprecating ways.

    I hope that you understand that my intent (and many of the other commenters, though I can only speak to the ones that I’m friendly with and have discussed this post with) was not malicious, or meant to attack. This could have been used as an opportunity to open up discourse, and gain new readers. Instead, those with dissenting opinions were shut down, and frankly, quite turned off to those running and contributing to this site. We *do* need different opinions in the sex blogging community that sometimes becomes an echo chamber, but if those different opinions only exist to attack the ones that dare to disagree, they’re not really doing what they set out to do.

  55. SkyddsDrake says:

    Personally, I’m glad to have read this article and all the commentary that came after it. Having a non-squirting vagina myself it was a topic I was somewhat curious about. There’s always the option of googling said topic, but let’s face it, I would have ended up with some textbook description (which rarely gives any sexual act the panache it deserves), or being taken to a site that was set to crash computers. (Seriously, what is it with porn sites so often being infected with viruses? I’m not even trying to be funny with that one. I’m truly curious.)

    Anyway… I’ve appreciated reading various individuals’ experiences with squirting because I feel like I have a better idea of what it’s all about. I’ll grant that it doesn’t sound like something I would dig, but I think I have a better understanding of why the folks that dig it do.

    For the record: I fully intend to keep on reading this blog. I enjoy it. It’s made some good points in past articles, and even the controversial articles seem to have their benefits.

  56. Oh my fucking G-D! Jeez! Certain biological functions ARE gross, but according to some of the commenters here, if I say doody-play is a total gross out (I don’t know the “official” terms for this but I’m sure SOMEONE finds it a turn-on), do I also risk the wrath of the haters coming down on me for being closed minded?

    And, really, to equate someone’s declaration of disgust for a bodily function with a racist remark like that just demonstrates what a total fucking imbecile you are.

  57. Not a hung up sexblogger says:

    JD, it’s just one of those things. What I’ve noted is the bulk of comments are from those who have to 1) confirm they’re squirters or 2) educated.
    So what.
    It’s not like anyone called you dumb or anything, but you can’t call yourselves open minded if you’re all acting like a bunch of white sheet wearing peeps.
    Anywho…
    Even though I’m not into squirting vaginas (and I have a vag, not a squirting one mind you), at least it’s better than squirting asses.

  58. comictragedy says:

    very glad to hear that cyberlizard.. your attempt at reducing this to a discussion of the ignorance of racism or sexism as an analogy to what KJ was attempting is evidence of your own short sightedness.. your first sentence was not written with any sense of nuance.. the starkness of your words in conjunction with the subject you’re attempting to parody makes a different statement altogether..

    I find it suspicious that you chose to make *that* analogy when there are so many others.. including the topic of this article.. you could have just as easily re-written what you believe KJ was saying with the same level of absudity..

    did you sleep in your sheet last night?

  59. I’m disgusted by black women. Their pussies are disgusting and their skin freaks me out. Can someone who actually *likes* black pussy explain it to me (but I won’t listen because, ew, gross!)?

    The above passage doesn’t sound so much like expressing an opinion in an open-minded way to generate intelligent dialog, as it sounds an ignorant bigoted asswipe ranting about something they don’t understand. While the passage is clearly written tongue-in-cheek and sarcastically, it is still offensive to a great number of people. I don’t think the analogy is that far off, since we’re discussing basic biological facts about the human body that an individual has little or nothing to do with.

    It’s not uncommon for bloggers to discuss controversial subjects. It’s not uncommon for them to express opinions, even negative ones, about those subjects. However, this piece goes beyond the author saying, “Man, I don’t like watching squirting porn. It really grosses me out. If I never see another squirt as long as I live, I’ll be happy.” Instead, the author chose to present it in such a way as to attach shame and dirtyness to the act. Not only that, but they displayed their incredible ignorance about the subject at hand. That’s not “edgy” or “going against the grain”, that’s merely showing off your ignorance. A “thought-provoking” article would be one where the author actually had a semblance of a technical clue about the subject and they made an effort to actually educate themselves or ask for legitimate feedback.

    Snark and sarcasm are fantastic tools to shine light on a subject. Ridicule and mockery have long been used for that purpose. What are not, is a facade to hide behind while being disrespectful to a group of people and then telling them that they just don’t “get it”. If a post misses the target with the audience, as this one clearly did, most people would not consider “You don’t get it. Why are you getting your panties in a wad?” an appropriate response. They would expect the author to engage in a dialog; to explain their position in a different way, perhaps, in an attempt to improve their writing.

    I’ve seen this exact same discussion take place on blogs about sexism, racism, classism, politics, etc. If you strip away the details and look at the structure of the arguments, it boils down to the same types of excuses for bigotry and insensitivity. The defensive snarking, the claims of persecution and “character defamation” when all that was happening was a response to what was said, the appeal to “it’s just an opinion, you can’t argue against it”; these are all common characteristics of people caught in the act of some form of bigoted behaviour and trying to wriggle out of it.

    Unfortunately, this was my introduction to this blog. Had it merely been a discussion between an author and readers, I might have considered subscribing to the feed. But when I see the site owner chime in and defend this type of ignorance and poor communication, I am no longer inclined to read any of it.

    • CyberLizard,

      >>>>I’m disgusted by black women.
      >>>>I don’t think the analogy is that far off

      I see what you are trying to say, but I think the analogy is a bit of a leap.

      >>>>made an effort to actually educate themselves or ask for legitimate feedback

      She asked for feedback in the article……

      Why is this something that turns men on? In fact, if you’re a man, would you please leave a comment and let me know what about this seems awesome to you?

      Could I have handled this better? Of course. I certainly could have been more diplomatic in my response, it was a good lesson. Although I stand by the premise of my comments, I wish I had stepped away from the keyboard and used language that was less inflammatory.

  60. comictragedy says:

    pfft.. too fucking late hannah :)

  61. I LOVE YOU KAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  62. comictragedy says:

    Oh.. gee.. thanks KJ.. what am I? kosher chopped liver??

  63. Some of you have made some very good points; if y’all have hated me enough to tweet about me, then you’re at least giving me and this site publicity. You know what Oscar Wilde said: “The only things worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.” So, tweet on, haters.

    And to the folks who got that this was just meant to be a little humorous piece discussing increasing expectations of women in bed (there’s nothing wrong with having large breasts, but expecting EVERY woman to have large breasts to the point where some undergo dangerous surgeries to have obscenely large mams is a helluva lot of pressure), I thank you.

    And in particular, I think the folks from ToyWithMe. I appreciate the support.
    @Crissy – OMG. I love you!

  64. Holy shit, dude.

    I’m so jealous you pissed everyone off, Kinky Jew!

    WHY CAN’T I BE CONTROVERSIAL?

    (shakes fists at sky)

  65. comictragedy says:

    by the way.. I hope you are getting paid bonzo bucks for each and every single one of these comments.. your business acumen remains top notch :)

  66. comictragedy says:

    KJ.. you keep it up girliefriend! you have done exactly as you set out to do.. create a discussion.. unfortunately.. there are some people who cannot debate an issue without attempting to vilify the person at the other end of the debate.. and Twm.. HATS OFF TO YOU! you made a great decision to include KJ as one of your contributing writers.. this bitch is sexy.. hysterical and a major contributor to the necessity of Depends.. I’m more astonished as to why the squirters are offended by your point of view? I squirt as I said before.. and it’s something I can control.. I found nothing offensive in your questions or curiosity about it.. and as TWM so adeptly put it.. she *too* has her sexual issues that she doesn’t like nor does she desire to experience it.. and if all these self righteous and pretentious comments were honest.. they also have issues that they aren’t not as comfortable with.. WHO.THE.FUCK.CARES? this site seems to be geared at opening a discussion to the sexual experience in all of us.. and I.. myself.. love to READ about alternative sexual lifestyles.. I don’t watch porn.. because I spend too much time laughing my fucking ass off when I watch it.. there is NOTHING sexually stimulating about watching bad actors grinding uglies.. at least to ME.. there is no fucking way I would ever let anyone man dominate me.. nor do I wish to dominate any man.. I have no desire to dress up in riding gear to play horsie with a man.. my ass is exit only.. so.. am I a prude? if I said I find these sexual proclivities to be *disgusting* would you then find it necessary to attack me? why do I have to agree with and/or participate in these types of sexual games in order to be able to comment on them? you call KJ *close minded* and *prudish* (and.. by the way.. just by using those terms to describe her tells me you not only are close minded yourself.. but you have NO clue as to what constitutes satire and sarcasm) yet by calling her these things you point out the fact that you.. yourselves.. are close minded.. perhaps the truth is.. you.. yourself.. are not comfortable with your sexual expression and for someone to point out a different point of view you feel *dirty*.. hell if I know.. I’m just spitballing here..
    I have risen to the defense of KJ because I know her.. I know what her intent was in writing the article.. and.. evidently.. unlike far too many of you.. I can actually *read* the sarcasm and wit in her article..
    so.. here’s my concluding thought.. the initial comments seemed to have been posted by people who understand her intent and wanted to share their experiences with squirting and what they found to be exciting about it.. including myself.. then abruptly became a contest as to who could criticize her more effectively.. as TWM so beautifully said.. GET.THE.FUCK.OVER.YOURSELVES..

    oh.. and by the way.. I’ve been celibate for 12 years.. by choice.. I’m sure your ire can now be directed at me as you’ll (incorrectly) assume that I have no clue what I’m talking about as far as sexuality goes..

    KJ.. rock on :)

  67. @Not Just Another Sex Blogger, I totally agree.

    Calm the f**k down, people! The haters above missed the *obvious* point of KJ’s annoyance at yet *another* sexual expectation placed on women, like big boobs and hairless vaginas, that *might* intimidate the rest of us who cannot possibly hope to achieve such a feat.

    Personally, I find fake breasts to be disgustingly offensive…some people are grossed out by real boobs that are not a matching set or are droopy or whatever….point is, if you do not agree with one person’s opinion, is it really fair to be so harshly critical of them? What the f**k compells you to sit there and spew such vitriol over a blog about squirting vaginas? Seriously! This is not a topic that should collapse the world’s fragile balance of peace….

  68. Not a hung up sexblogger says:

    What I find interesting is that the irate feedback on this page can be traced back to one particular ‘prominent’ blogger who started this hate campaign on Twitter and that blogger should be ashamed. This blogger makes all the other sex bloggers look just as bad as she does and the earlier analogy of ‘sheep’ is 100% correct. I saw the Twitter ‘prompt’ to ‘retweet’ and it made sick.
    To that prominent ‘blogger’ who encouraged hatred via Twitter: you call yourself open minded when you’re just creating a hateful mob? Or maybe your ego gets a kick out of it. It’s more a case of 40 being the new 12. Get over yourself.
    Seriously, can’t anyone have an opinion anymore?
    If I turned around and said that I don’t like the look of masturbating men (as they’re jerking off), will I receive a barrage of mean spirited, frankly disturbing comments from male bloggers? I doubt it.

  69. I definitely do find the sight of a woman orgasming so hard that it makes her legs literally shake and her muscles relax so much she gushes very erotic and somewhat aspirational. That is, wouldnt I just love to make a woman orgasm like that?
    Knowing that she had a mind blowing orgasm would be such a turn on for me. If she squirts as well then fine. Stuff the mess it makes, If my woman came like that I’d gladly get the mop out afterwards.

  70. MoM (but not the real One) says:

    WOW. I’ve read the comments and honestly I’m wondering why anyone is so upset by the article. We’re all different. We all like different things and the article was written in a light hearted manner. Yes Tawnia I have to agree….98 comments must mean KJ has arrived. Articles are made to make up think and boy this one has certainly made alot of you think. KJ is a woman who certainly keeps an open mind and intended merely to express an opinion as most of you have. If the topic is something you enjoy….great! If not…great too! No one has to attack personally. Everyone should just be able to express their opinion if they want to without hurling rocks so to speak.
    @ Toywithme….girl I’m sorry if you thought I was trying to set up a threesome for you. LOL Thank you for having this site where EVERYONE is entitled to an opinion. Even the thought provoking writers you have. While I don’t always agree with the topics….I do understand this world would be a boring place without people of different interests and thoughts.
    KJ…you are fabulous girl! Why??? Because I’m the MOM and I said so! LOL

  71. MadGastronomer says:

    You know, I don’t understand play piercing and am completely freaked out by it. But I would never, ever post something like this, something that ignores the reality of people who enjoy it, belittles their pleasure in it, and generally comes off as sex-negative and mean. You, and ToyWithMe, can write and post anything you want, but I can think anything I like about you for doing it.

    I squirt. It’s not directly linked to orgasm for me, I don’t find it especially enjoyable, and I generally go to some lengths to avoid doing it because it’s not pleasurable enough to be worth the trouble of setting up for it. I’ll make exceptions for partners who particularly like it, but I don’t understand why they do. Squirting doesn’t mean I’m super turned on, it just means they found the spot that causes that particular physiological reaction (which isn’t my G-spot). But I’m still insulted by the tone of this article.

    Anyone can misjudge their audience enough to say something they think is funny but the audience doesn’t. But anyone who, when called on it (especially by a large proportion of that audience), does not apologize — well, that person is a jerk. And so is anyone who defends that person because they did find it funny. Taste in humor is as subjective as taste in the erotic, and condemning people for their taste in either is a dick move. I’m not condemning the author for her distaste for squirting, just for being a jerk about it.

  72. I am so far from being a porn-star but I have been squirting since I was probably 21 and trust me there was no learning involved it just happened. Thank God my guy thinks it’s hot when I gush and squirt cause I can’t stop it. Some call it a g-spot orgasm I call it good sex and all that aiming is just porn theatrics. He loves to 69 with me on top so it squirts directly in his mouth. Honestly I squirt better with him in me as the thrusting rubs my g-spot and I tend to squirt and or gush on every stroke.

    BTW, I did get the humor of the piece. Love your site

  73. Porn is pretty much pantomime – expect everything to be big including the squirts.

    If you’re using porn to inform and educate on sexual practices you’re bound to end up feeling mixed up.

    As mentioned what you see in porn is rarely the actuality of what happens in people’s bedrooms.

    What happens in people’s bedrooms is way more exciting, including squirting.

    I believe that “civilian” squirting or gushing or whatever you’d like to call it mostly does not look like pantomime.

    My sweetheart thinks it’s one of the sexiest things ever. Me too.

  74. P.S I am not a squirter

  75. Good article! I get your humor and the way you feel:) Too bad others don’t! If you are creating a dialogue and pissing people off then you know you have really arrived:) Keep up the great work!
    Love Tawnia

  76. Interesting post and interesting responses. Having been weaned on on 70’s porn in the form of silent Eight & Sixteen mm movies, I can certainly understand your appreciation the diverse culture of the porn industry back in those days but I fail to see how female ejaculation could be considered outside of the norm even in that era. There were certainly worse things from a sanitary standpoint being filmed back then such as scat, bestiality and a host of other bents that put female ejaculation in the “Very Vanilla” category.
    Additionally, STD’s where not a huge concern in those days and anyone who has seen the movies being referred to in the post has seen genital warts and other telltale signs of just how much sexual irresponsibility was going on in the industry at that time. That has never been a turn on for me.

    Personally I think a female ejaculating is a beautiful and wondrous thing. I never understood the dynamics of how that could occur until about Two years ago but I was always fascinated by the thought that a woman could be brought to a climax that produced such an intense result.
    I was fortunate to have my then lover, (now one of Two wives I have) experience her first ejaculation with me and though as intense as the experience was, it was a little embarrassing for her I know. I reassured her that it was an incredible turn on for me and we have since strive for the steamiest wettest sex we can muster. Since the first time, I was curious enough to do some research on my own to find out exactly what the female ejaculate consists of and what sequence of events takes place with the female body that creates such a reaction. It is a very interesting and stimulating subject and while I won’t go into the details here, I would encourage the originator of this post and anyone else with interest on this subject to take the time to learn about it before passing judgment on it.

    I have had the privilege of being the recipient of squirting orgasms with both of my wives and I have been with 3 other women when they have experienced this glorious eruption for themselves for the first time.

    There is no greater pleasure I can find within myself then to give this gift to the woman I can be that intimate with. My own climax pales in comparison and I enjoy the feeling of the warm rush of a womans fluid as it rushes over sensitive areas and comes to rest.

    Is this something I appreciate and condone?

    You bet it is!

  77. Toy With Me is not The Onion.

  78. Again… I agree with your basic message – porn might give women high standards to adhere to during sex. Which kinda sucks. Except that I don’t think I would want to date/sleep with a man who thought that porn was THE standard for typical sex. Porn is a performance. It’s a show. I feel like most people who are able to think critically *know* that. Porn is meant to be hot, to turn people on. Personally, I’m glad that the women in porn are HOT because why would I want to watch unattractive people (if I knew them and was emotionally connected to them that might be different) have sex?

    But instead of presenting alternatives to typical porn – like, oh, maybe suggesting producing porn that stars more “average” actors, or attractive actors that are also clearly flawed, or more diverse looking actors, you just meet negativity with *more* negativity.

    I’m probably reiterating what everyone else has already said but:

    Why the hell is female ejaculate unsanitary? How is it different from being wet and getting wetness on your underwear/body/whatever? How is it different from semen? Arguing that body fluids, and something completely natural, is “dirty” – what kind of negative, shame-inducing argument is that?

    You also assume that squirting is something that’s only in porn purely to turn on the men / for the male gaze / to make women feel bad for not being able to squirt. In my sexblog circuit, I’ve read about many non-porn-star women squirting and being very happy about it. And finding it *hot*. And not just because they pleased their husbands/whatever. I’m not a squirter, and I don’t feel pressured to try and *learn* how to after reading those posts because, honestly? Sex is not a fucking competition, it’s about pleasure and connection. At least, it is for me.

    Sure, squirting is not your thing. Fine. But if people find it a turn on, if a woman squirts when she comes… they have *no reason at all* to feel like it’s shameful or “yucky”. I may not like watersports, but, well, fine I’ll stay the hell away from it and let the watersports-fans do their thing. You’re entitled to your own turn ons and turn offs. Other people should be entitled to theirs. Making other people feel bad about what they like is very hurtful.

  79. actually, it’s just my view I was expressing, just as the post’s author was expressing hers. I wasn’t suggesting the post’s author take it on and personally feel fortunate or unfortunate.

    I find mustaches super gross. And zombies totally freak me out.

  80. I just feel sad for the author of this article, opinions and agreeing/disagreeing aside.

    “Squirting vaginas freak me out” – what an unfortunate thing to feel.

    • I’m freaked out by BDSM. I don’t feel unfortunate. Feet play disgusts me. I don’t feel unfortunate. I loooove to gush all over my bedding. I feel fortunate.

  81. Heidi Anderson says:

    It’s ok.

    I promise not to squirt in your mouth. Ever.

    My pussy and I will go play with the NICE people now.

  82. Hi, my name is Leah and sometimes I secretly wish I was a squirter. And sometimes I’m convinced my body does enough fun factory things on its own that squirting would just be over the top. And sometimes I used to like chocolate ice cream and other times vanilla (but I really liked rocky road because of the almonds and the marshmallows) but now I don’t eat ice cream at all because I’m allergic to it. And sometimes, that’s just how it happens. Some people can’t eat ice cream but they still respect the people who can. Even if they don’t understand the ice cream.

  83. The first time I ever squirted, I was in high school. I’d never heard of it before. I didn’t know what it was, and neither did my boyfriend (so clearly I was influenced by all that newfangled porn that’s CONVINCING women that we NEED to teach our bodies to do this GROSS and UNNATURAL thing). I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I cried, and was never able to let go and lose myself in my orgasms again for many, many years. Shortly after that happened, I was dating a guy that actually said, “ew” because of how wet I got. And so I apologized to every guy that I was ever with, so that they couldn’t criticize me first. I was ashamed of my body and what it produced, convinced that I was abnormal and a freak. And it’s shit like this that just reinforces that shame. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you and your body is gross and weird and wrong.

    No, not everybody can squirt. And it’s not an ideal to try to live up to or not live up to. But for those of us that do, it may have taken a long time to accept and embrace our bodies and our sexuality, and so yeah, we’re going to be offended when someone spouts off how “gross” we are. Especially another woman. There’s enough crime against women in this world already, we don’t need other women perpetrating it against each other.

  84. I just wanted to say that while my hubby and I were at a swinger club, we were standing around watching couples go at it. Unfornately, without warning, this women started “squirting.” It ended up all over the guy that was down in her business and all over the wall. My eyes will never be the same again. I don’t see the turn on at all. I never want to have to see that again.

  85. Though I found this post a bit insulting since I am a squirter and do not consider myself or the act of squirting gross, I just chalked it up to The Kinky Jew being ignorant and didn’t freak out about it.
    What absolutely DISGUSTS me, though, @toywithme, is your total disrespect towards sex blogger “sheep” who read your posts regularly and who decided to express their disappointment with the offensiveness of this post. If you’re going to tell people who read your blog regularly to fuck off just because they don’t like one of the posts, you may as well just password-protect the site and dole out the password only to those you deem “worthy.”

    • PandaDementia if people are offended so much by the fact that a writer had the gall to say that she was grossed out by squirting that they would say that I should be ashamed of posting it then you bet that I am going to stand up and fight back. If the response of the community had been one of debate, teaching and sharing then I would have been more than happy to sit back and let the comments go without getting my panties in a knot.

      Want to share? Want to express an opinion that even I dont agree with? Please feel free to submit. I value all opinion. What I dont value is a sex blogging community going ape shit because someone is grossed out with squirting vaginas.

  86. I think that this post has a dual effect. It has polarized as well as revealed the fallacy of open-mindedness. Those who are truly open-minded wouldn’t point fingers and freak out about an opinion. To me, this post explores the evolution of porn and asks whether some of it is necessary for sexual enjoyment and why not? It’s a valid question. As women, we’re bombarded with non-sexual expectations (to purchase creams, fragrances and potions, as well as consider cosmetic surgery) and now we’re bombarded with sexual options, some of which aren’t universally accessible but presented as ‘ideal’ sexual attributes. To me, vaginal squirting is right up there with other non-sexual ideals and why shouldn’t it be all right to express an opinion?
    Seriously, I find some of the rabid commentary disturbing. Should a writer be ‘shamed’ for expressing a sexual opinion? If that’s the case, hey, add me to the list as well. I come from an era where porn didn’t feature salient add-ons and close up effects; if people think men’s money shots are real, then they need to watch Rammstein’s Buck Dich film clip.
    For women who squirt, congratulations, but don’t gang up and try to shame one person for their opinion. It’s more shameful for writers -and I know some of the commentators have their own blogs – to shame other writers. The author of this post didn’t shame any of you or your blogs or your opinions.

  87. Jeez. So now a bunch of the commenters here are lying, just because some toy retailers and manufacturers provide toys to test and review? Seriously? *facepalm*

  88. When you write something that insults a huge portion of “the community” then yeah, expect to be vilified. Most of us aren’t interested in understanding the opinions of someone who clearly made no effort to understand the very topic she was writing on.

    “Squirting is gross and I don’t like it” isn’t an opinion, it’s just being a tremendous ASS.

  89. Hallelujah for a real opinion on squirting!
    I think you have every right to express your opinion. I, for one, have no inclination to ‘squirt’ and have never squirted and I no longer read ‘squirter’ blogs whose posts contain smug ‘I am sexual supergirl’ tones and I have to catch myself but I don’t fall for their ‘advertorial’ posts. Some of the negative comments here are written by certain bloggers who are paid to review and…wait for it…never display any sexual honesty. They always sit on the fence. Well hey to those of you who don’t like it, you get splinters on your butt from fence sitting trying to make everybody happy.
    While I watch some porn, I refuse to watch squirter porn. It grosses me out – and I’m female. And stating that opinion isn’t about body shaming.
    The day where sexual expression, even if CONTRARY to commercialized – and biased- sex blogger standards, is compromised is the day when there is no point in reading any sexual opinion. There are days I crave simple normal sex. None of the freakish over the top gonzo rubbish that never reflects real sex and is often unpalatable to watch.

  90. @VeraFromFYN: *raises hand* Not often, but it’s been known to happen!
    @ToyWithMe FYI … there doesn’t appear to be any “next” link when comments exceed the single page limit.

  91. Raise your hand if YOU squirt.

    *RAISES HAND*

    And NOT ashamed. :-P

    Oops, I did say I had one thing to say, right? Make that 3: Pure Wand, Cake Batter Ice Cream, and Squirting. Whatta trio ladies and squirters!

    • Many of you that have posted in the comments have been active on twitter saying that I should be ashamed of posting this article. Thats shameful. If you read through the early comments you will see that I myself am a squirter. I Love it. I embrace it. I soak my sheets at every opportunity. I do understand however that some women just dont get it. They are disturbed by it. They dont understand it. They haven’t experienced it. This is the case with the author of the article.

      Does this mean as a community we find the need to vilify her? I myself am interested in hearing about opinions that differ from my own. I want to understand the opinions of others. i truly do.

      Was I harsh in my comments in defending the kinky jew? Probably. But im loyal like that. She is a tremendous asset to this blog and I am proud to have her writing here.

  92. I wouldn’t flatter yourself honey. Your writing and “fabulous” don’t even belong in the same paragraph.

    I’m poly, kinky, pan-sexual, a switch, and pretty much as ‘against the grain’ as it gets, and I still don’t think that gives me the right to post tripe on the internet that makes women feel insecure about the way their bodies work. Your arrogance is unbecoming in a writer.

    Also, you fail REALLY hard at sarcasm, and humor.

  93. I think that sarcasm and tongue in cheek wit that fails to come across as intended also, then, fails to be funny at all and,instead, comes across as the nastiness sarcasm is intended to make humorous. Failed sarcasm, then, equals plain nastiness. In this instance , not only was the initial post nasty but so were a slew of the “me too, me too” comments from the fan club/peanut gallery. The following nasty posts from those in the other camp, then, are no worse than the initial post and it’s braying support. They’re just more sex positive snark in response to less sex positive snark.

  94. @ToyWithMe: Of course The Kinky Jew has the right to express her opinion, and of course you have the right to publish her column on your site if you like…

    But by the same token, if you’ve chosen to allow unmoderated comments on the site, you’ve granted your readership an equal right to express our opinions in return, haven’t you? Surely you’re not suggesting that your writers have the privilege of expressing negative (or “against the grain”) opinions, but your commenters are expected to be positive and supportive no matter how we feel about what we read here?

  95. I call bullshit! Here’s the thing: satire and humor are NOT above criticism. Most people here don’t give a shit what this writer’s opinion on squirting is; it’s that it fucking shames so many people who have personal experiences. And yet those experiences apparently don’t mean shit to this writer.

    And as for the humorous, sarcastic aspect of the article: if we all missed it either we’re all terrible, horrible, idiotic readers or this writer isn’t the ‘fabulous writer’ you claim. Satire and sarcasm done WELL comes across well. And even then it’s still not above criticism. This is this writer’s opinion, these are ours. We have just as much right to them as this writer does to hers.

    So why don’t you get the fuck over yourself and actually pay attention to these commentators and deal with the fact that if you’re writing something that is ‘against the grain’ and ‘edgy’ or whatever the fuck you want to call it but that shames a group of people you’re going to have a negative reaction to it. And maybe that negative reaction has some validity to it.

  96. On the other hand, reading your response, I hope you choke on a cock. I really do.

    Its our opinion against yours. Maybe if you really were so fabulous you’d realize that other people have opinions too, and that you, in your genius, left it up to comment.

  97. Ew? Body fluids are a part of sex. Sex is messy. There are all sorts of products out there that you can use to contain the mess if you’re that concerned about it.

    What is unsanitary about female ejaculation? Do you find semen disgusting too? Squirting is not some new fad. A lot of women are capable of doing it, but we’ve been taught for so long to be ashamed of our bodies and what they do that many women never get to experience any type of orgasm. Let alone a squirting one.

    I squirt. It turns me on because it feels good. It feels fucking amazing actually. If you don’t want to squirt, no one is forcing you to, but don’t push your personal hang ups on other women.

    I realize that this was an attempt at sarcasm and humor, but in comedy there is a fine line between funny and offensive. Women have enough people telling them what’s wrong with their bodies without having this kind of shaming going on in a place where they would expect to find body positivity and sexual acceptance.

  98. I don’t think that the majority of these comments were personal attacks against the author. They responded to exactly what was written in the piece. Thought-provoking? This is exactly the kind of thinking that makes women ashamed of the way their vagina looks, smells, tastes, and works.

    I agree that we need more opinions that go against the grain. But insulting other women and creating shame isn’t the way to do it. Is it sarcastic? Yes. But it also comes across as self-deprecating, and many a truth is said in jest. I know this because I used to write pieces that sounded exactly like this.

    While I understand and appreciate the fact that you’re standing up for your author and defending the piece you published on your site, attacking people that came to read and comment is not the best way to run a site or create dialogue. If you really were trying to post things that went against the grain and provided thought provoking commentary, you wouldn’t attack those that came to add their two cents to the discussion, whether they agreed with the author’s point of view or not.

    It’s a shame, really.

  99. Like most people, I find this article to be very… well, harsh. It doesn’t take in the feelings of said squirters at all. In fact, shame like this is what made it so I can hardly squirt at all anymore. When I was younger I’d do it with hardly any effort and it was SO satisfying. Now its hard for me to even gush. All because of that shame about it being ‘dirty’ and worrying that guys would hate it.

    I’m not gonna go and say all fat chick porn is gross and why in gods name does anyone like it. I wont say it about gay porn either. Despite the fact that both of these things aren’t my taste (I like chubby women, but SSBBW is too much for me. My mom is that big and I.. dont want that likeness in my fappage. Gay porn, well, there’s just too much cock and ass content for me) I dont discriminate against it.
    I think there comes a time where, even on one’s own blog, you need to question what makes you such an authority that you have the ability to criticize and chastise others for their choices in porn or in life. This is something that happens all too much in todays society (gay marriage issue, anyone?) and it really needs to stop.

    I mean, does this interfere with you being happy at all? It really doesnt. its easy to avoid, I RARELY see squirting in porn unless its from a known squirting pornstar or a squirting based porn. I see it on camshows sometimes but never a ‘geyser’ type of fake looking squirt, only realistic gushes. It shouldn’t interfere with your happiness any more than ANY other personal choice someone makes.

    And if it doesnt interfere with you being happy, why do you care? Its other peoples right to like what they like. Not everyone likes fat chicks, not everyone likes cock-on-ass action, not everyone likes gratuitous facials, not everyone likes fake breasts, BUT THESE ARE ALL PERSONAL CHOICES and they are easy to avoid in porn (there’s a whole genre of natural breast porn and that would be the hardest to avoid).

    It’s your personal blog.. I get it.
    It’s your right to say what you want… I get it.
    But if you don’t want your views judged then maybe you shouldn’t post them on the net. This goes out, especially, to your little ‘defender’ who says we ALL misjudged your intent. Dont wanna be judged.. dont make it public.

    But honestly
    The fact that you’re the type of person, apparently, who would contribute to shaming others for their personal choices and attributes, makes me not really give a fuck if you are offended or not. Because you don’t give a fuck if every squirter in the world is offended I guess. And its just this kind of shame that makes girls less receptive to orgasm in general. This type of stress and worry that makes them hold back or not be able to let go.

    So in essence, please think about the effects of what you say before you say it
    And
    Please stop trying to make others feel inferior because they like something that you find gross/you disagree with. Cause that is the same damn argument used in every other kind of discrimination, if you take it down to the bones of it.

  100. If the post was “thought provoking, opinionated, and humorous prose” there wouldn’t be an issue. However, whatever the intent of the article, it failed and just ended up offending people.

  101. also, can i go ahead and point out the humor of telling people to get over themselves and calling oneself a “fabulous writer” in the same post.

    i don’t know if that was supposed to be funny. but it really, really was.

  102. yeah. you’re right. maybe we should also revisit eugenics. that also goes against the grain. excellent point.

  103. Hey…
    This was a funny post, and for those of you who don’t see the clever wit in the writing are just gonna have to take my word for it, I’m not going to be able to explain the whole tongue in cheek thing so let’s just cut TWM some slack.
    My 2 cents:
    Squirting shouldn’t be a goal that anyone is expected to achieve, any more than an orgasm should be. It is great if it happens, it is great if it doesn’t happen, sex should be fun. And I wouldn’t worry about “measuring up” to porn stars.. I mean I can’t measure up to today’s NFL linemen and I don’t think any woman expects me to. (so forgive me if I sidestep any 300lb behemoths that work out 8hrs a day and who’s entire skill set involves crushing people dumb enough to get in their way) I am expected to hold doors and occasionally show up with flowers and maybe change a tire or two…
    Oh I would also like to endorse the Liberator throw (it is the sex toy that the girlfriend and I use most of all) but if you can’t afford the throw we also use a large vinyl table cloth with a cloth backing when we go to sex clubs that way if something damages it or we lose it, it isn’t hard to replace. Also the Pure wand is my second favorite toy to use on others (Mad props to Hitachi corp for their magic wand for number 1 toy). I have been privileged to have been there for several womens first time squirting thanks to the Njoy pure wand.

  104. i think it’s time to change slogan of this blog. because whilst you may have a vagina, you are clearly afraid to use it. because then what if it squirts! zomg!

  105. sexual_newbie says:

    Well, I am in the corner of I think it is hot when women squirt, it does show just how turned on they are, and that is sexy.

    You basically say it is a bad / disgusting thing for a woman to squirt during sex. Well what if that is how a woman cums? Everytime she has the big O, she squirts and hits the ceiling? Maybe she has no choice. Is she supposed to change to accomodate your delicate sensibilites?

    Sounds a lot like people who think it is a persons choice whether or not to be gay. Gay sex bothers me, stop it. Sounds a lot like Squirting bothers me, stop it.

    Who knows, maybe I connected too many dots. But I hate it when someone tries to make others change to make themselves feel better.

  106. OK, I said 2 things, you caught me.

    • WOW. The sex blogging community is “appalled, disturbed, and disgusted.” by an opinion post.

      What, are you Republicans now? Get the fuck over yourselves. I would think that such a community would be able to read a thought provoking sarcastic humorous post from a fabulous writer and discuss it rationally without jumping on it like a herd of sheep. The sex blogging community needs more opinions that go against the grain and writers should have the right to express those opinions without being vilified. The amount of shit that I read in my reader from the “me to” crowd is what appalls me. The vast majority of it is recycled total crap. I am proud that we here at Toy With Me have the balls to post thought provoking, opinionated, humorous prose that may cut against the grain. Get use to it.

      The fact that we have pissed many of you off is an affirmation for me.

  107. I like vanilla ice cream. Some of you may say, “ewwwww”. I don’t like chocolate ice cream. A lot of you may say, “boooooo”. I *thought* I wouldn’t like cake batter ice cream until I tried it. And guess what? It’s FANTASTIC…

    Fact is people like different things. Don’t knock stuff till you try it.

  108. comictragedy says:

    There are times when tone and intent do not translate well in writing.. I say this because I know the Kinky Jew in person.. she is by no means insecure or intolerant of anyone or anything.. especially when it comes to sexuality.. I believe that you have misread not just her words but her intent.. and the charactor assault aren’t justified.. I’ve been reading KJs writings for quite a while and her nature is reflected in her style of writing.. as my style reflects my sometimes disconnected sense of thought.. I actually speak like this at times.. I am not a prude but I don’t favor anal sex and find it rather strange that people enjoy it.. my youngest daughter confessed to me that she has engaged in this sexual act and I admit I had to restrain my expressions as I spoke to her about it.. and I believe if I wrote an article with the same fervor as KJ as written this one.. peppering it with her brilliant sense of humor and dripping with her sarcasm.. her references to 70s porn is the perfect example.. and knowing her and having met her.. I can almost she her face as she wrote about it.. smiling and giggling and wanting to share that same sense of joy with you.. her readers.. I would hope that those who have made some rather underserved observations about her will take the time to re-read it with a sense of humor.. and not as an article to be included in the next edition of the Kinsey report..

  109. I am similarly appalled and irritated by this article, and would like to add a few things…

    I don’t know what porn you’re watching, unless it is specifically marketed squirting porn. I watch a hell of a lot of mainstream, new porn, and I rarely see squirting. It’s definitely a trend in niche videos, but to act like it’s unavoidable in current porn is completely incorrect. And, as you are apparently not aware, there’s also porn featuring real bodies. You just have to give a shit and look for it, not sit around complaining.

    I find it hilarious that you’re so caught up in how messy squirting can be, since there are several products made specifically for squirting upon (the Liberator Throe and LuvMat) that are pretty well known within the sex blogging community and do their job ridiculously well. I have poured cup upon cup of water on my Throe and it has never sunk through to the other side. After I squirt on my Throe, I fold it up and call it a day. OMG, SO DIFFICULT. Also, it can be washed as often as you’d like. OMG, SO DISGUSTING.

    But the part of this that slays me the most is your utter disregard for how it feels for a woman to squirt. You can’t be so oblivious that you think it’s not pleasurable for a woman to squirt, yet you’ll never even admit that in this article.

    I don’t care if you think squirting is weird. I don’t care if you don’t want to even remotely attempt to do it yourself (newsflash: sometimes G-spot stimulation just makes you squirt… god forbid this ever happens to you!). I care that you’re shaming squirters and making incorrect generalizations for the sake of writing a not-even-funny article.

    Your loss.

  110. hm, a kind of closed minded and a tad sexist read

  111. @aag: I wasn’t referring to any of your comments, and I’m not calling anyone out. No worries. :-)

  112. Oh, and just to clarify for a few folks who missed the itty-bitty byline at the top of the article, Toy With Me didn’t write this one, The Kinky Jew did.

  113. Heidi, you can squirt in my mouth anytime.

    Mivox, whoever said that squirting is the best way to come? I certainly didn’t.

    Squirting is nice. So is not squirting. What I object to is being told that it’s yucky or ew.

  114. Seriously, I’m pretty bummed by both the article AND by the commenters going off about how squirting is the be all and end all of orgasms. Freud launched decades of bullshit leaving women feeling inferior if they couldn’t orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation, and we know now that it’s quite common and normal. We don’t really need to go there with squirting too, do we?

    However a woman experiences orgasm is great. With direct clitoral stimulation or without, squirting or not. Nobody has any right or reason to judge one way or another.

  115. Er…I would really like to support and be all sisterhood-o-smutwriting here, KJ, but I have to disagree too. I mean, if it happened in one of my real life sexual encounters, I might not be like crazy into it, but it’s just something that happens. I am positive ‘squirting’ has been happening for..well, probably since vaginas were invented (around 1840 or so) so I don’t really see squirting itself as a fleeting trend or fad.

    Coverage of it? Oh my, yes you have a point there. There’s a distinct trend in porn at the moment. That being said, it seems like the main thing that squicks you is the amount, velocity, and coverage radius. To weigh in on that – just the same as porn guys have been engaging in such camera-friendly cumtricks as altering their diet for “thickness” and volume and strapping tubes of poorly-ratioed pina colada mix to the non-camera side of their wangs, porn is often guilty of taking something sexy and totally overdoing it. Some of these girls are (only some girls, cause real squirting does happen on camera) being filled up with water and pushing out with their kegel muscles at the moment of presumable orgasm…voila, one porn-worthy vagina waterworks show.

    I can’t say too much here – hell, I just got done posting my own wtf article on why I like sex that finishes before the pizza gets there. *points backwards* …but I try to, as my buddy Essinem preaches, accept and validate those sexytime actions that I might not dig, but aren’t hurting anyone.

  116. “Are you a squirter? Does it turn you on? If so, dear G-D… why?”

    It’s not character assassination if it’s true. That closing line right there? It CLEARLY expresses that something many women find natural is something you think is disgusting and reprehensible.

    “No more squirting…no more sex that nobody except the actors actually have.” That’s you saying that no one except the porn actors/actresses can actually do this.

    You are closed minded. You don’t provide another perspective or opinion on the matter. Your tone is very ‘be all, end all, I am the one true authority on this matter’ and if that’s not what you intended? Then word things more carefully.

    “I don’t have to compete with those porn stars, because they look like me!” Since when do women confident in themselves and secure in their partner’s desire for them feel the need to ‘compete’ with porn starts?

    None of the ‘insults’ thrown at your were unwarranted. They were all mostly upheld by your own material.

    You honestly are not someone I would ever consider to be sex-positive, and it’s a shame. Because you do have interesting views on some subjects.

  117. I think my biggest issue with this post isn’t that you personally don’t care for squirting-that’s your right, I don’t really care what doesn’t or does turn you off-but your total condemnation of what a ‘freak’ thing it is and how you make it out that because it’s in porn you HAVE to live up to that. Yes, pornography has a major influence on society and social standards and expectations of women but you are a grown woman. You have a mind of your own. You have the ability to look at something in porn and say, That’s how porn is, I don’t have to look or be like that in any way and I don’t have to compete with porn. Because you don’t. I don’t. I’ve been squirting for a very long time, before I ever knew it was popular in mainstream porn. I squirt because that’s what my body does and because I like to. Yeah, the cleanup is a bitch but I love squirting. I love feeling it gush out of me. It turns me on. It doesn’t HAVE to turn you or anyone else on. Yeah, squirting in porn often gets very over-exaggerated like any other sex act in some porn but again, you don’t have to compete with that if you CHOOSE NOT TO. Female ejaculation has been around for a very, very long time, it’s not new; there have been mentions of female ejaculation in Indian texts dating back to the 7th century (reference: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10705806) It’s just that it’s been pushed aside and kept all hush, hush because so many people claim it’s gross, nasty, piss, or what have you (much like your article does).
    This article doesn’t really piss me off very much it just kind of irks and really disgusts me that you feel like you can shame me and the way I orgasm; you say you’re not out to down how women orgasm but that’s exactly what you’re doing. This is how I orgasm. It’s enjoyable for me. Sometimes it’s just a small gush, sometimes it squirts far but I enjoy it however it happens. It’s not painful or disgusting or something I go out of my way to do. It’s how my body works. So please, don’t shame it or me because that’s just bullshit. Thanks

  118. To the comments about my personal “insecurities” and “prudishness,” I’m sorry you feel that way. I expressed an opinion, and raised some questions. If you don’t feel capable of responding without character assassination, then frankly I think that reflects more on you and the assumptions you’ve made of me, than anything I could possibly post up here. Look, everything is not for everyone. As a member of the kink community, I am well aware of that fact. I have a right, as does anyone here, to express their feelings on an issue. You may disagree with me, and that is also your right, but to call people names rather than engage in an adult discussion is little more than “I’m rubber, you’re glue.” Honestly, if the best you can do is something I heard when I was 7, then don’t waste my time.

  119. You appear to be disturbingly insecure, as I noted at least three references to feeling as though you have to ‘compete’ with women in porn or just women in general.

    Perhaps this insecurity is what drives you in your attempt to make other women feel self-conscious about themselves and the way their bodies function.

    Maybe if you let go of this need to compare yourself to other women you won’t be so sour grapes about something you clearly don’t understand.

  120. I’m truly disappointed in this post.

    Squirting is perfectly natural for some women (myself included) and it feels great. Messy? Sure. But what about sex isn’t messy? If you wanted to stay un-messy you would watch Law & Order reruns and have some ice cream (whoops, that could be messy too).

    Squirting is certainly not expected from every woman. It’s not the be all and end all of sexual experiences. But it’s also no more gross than male ejaculation. Put down a towel or a Liberator Throe and there goes your mess.

    Considering the open-mindedness I’ve found before on this site, I’m stunned to read this body-shaming sex-negative post.

    :(

  121. I have one thing to say: GET A PURE WAND. You’ll get it.

  122. As many people have mentioned, squirting is actually quite natural for the vagina. I happen to be a squirter and I love it. Yeah, it’s fucking messy. Yeah, I ruin sheets and soak mattresses if I’m not careful. But the orgasm that accompanies letting go like that? Fucking explosive!

    And the guy I’ve been sleeping with for a while doesn’t find it hot because it’s in porn or anything stupid like that. He finds it hot because the look of utter, pure pleasure on my face when I squirt is a huge turn on for him.

    And 70’s porn? I find it meh at best. The actors/actresses hold no appeal for me and the poor acting makes the sex utterly unbelievable to me. So no. I don’t think someone who is so prudish and afraid and disgusted by her own body should be dictating what porn should ‘return to.’ Your tastes are FAR from reflecting everyones.

  123. Wow. I can’t remember that last time I read something so far down the spectrum from Sex Positive. As a man that has been with many “Squirting” women I can tell you this is not a new thing. and no woman should be made to feel like a freak for doing it any more than they should be made to feel as if they are deviant for enjoying sex or reaching orgasm as they were in previous eras.

    As to why this can be considered hot for men, It is visual proof of something that can be quite mysterious to many men. i can tell you that a little experience can make it even hotter because you become aware that it takes a great deal of release to achieve this state and it can be a great indicator of trust by a female partner.

    I think it is a shame that your own obvious insecurities lead you to belittle others in their sexuality. Will your next post be on the shame masturbation?

  124. All i have ever heard is that when a woman squirts it is pretty intense. My orgasms are already intense, but I’m curious to have a squirting orgasm and not ashamed by it. I think we are forgetting that “squirting” comes in many sizes. Some women seem to get the entire bed wet, while others just have a small puddle. Squirting porn fills a niche. People find that hot.. just like some people get off on watching anal and others get off watching “footjobs”. To each their own and a woman should not be ashamed if she does squirt.

  125. I find it laughingly ironic that the tag line on this blog is “I have a vagina and I’m not afraid to use it,” yet you’re squicked out by a natural function of the vagina in some people. That’s rich. :lol:

  126. The tone of this article is disgusting and offensive. The fact that it was written by a woman is even more upsetting. We’ve been taught to be ashamed of our bodies and their natural functions for thousands of years, and this just perpetuates that. Why is squirting gross? It’s something that my body naturally does, it brings me pleasure, and neither of those things are shameful. They’re amazing, actually.

    And most men I’ve been with find it insanely hot, because it’s proof of how turned on I am. When I orgasm, I squirt. When men orgasm, they ejaculate. You asked *why* anyone would want to squirt. Well, why would any man want to ejaculate? Because it feels good.

    Is it messy? Sure. But sex isn’t a clean and proper thing. It’s dirty and messy and raw and raunchy and that’s where the beauty lies. You seem like someone that needs to take the stick out of yourself, lighten up, embrace your body and your pleasure, and stop judging and shaming women, like men have done for long enough.

  127. This post made me squirt…urine. I am laughing so hard that the old bladder lost control.

    I am tired of keeping up with men and their “capabilities”. Let them cum on the glass ceiling, and then clean it off.

  128. So, I’ve researched this quite a bit as I am a partial squirter. I’ve never done as much as some of the porn stars out there. My goodness, those poor ladies* must be so dehydrated. No wonder they make such horrific faces! They’re having muscle cramps from the dehydration!

    *ahem* I digress. Anyway, from what I gather, the difference between squirting and what most people call “shooting” is that squirting is actually a female ejaculation from the exocrine gland located just inside the orafice that contains the end of the urethra (the paraurethral ducts through and around the urethra. Thanks Wikipedia). This is where a woman’s natural lubricant comes from. Stimulating a woman’s G-spot can cause a build up of ejaculate that can be expelled in the same capacity as urine, but rest assured it is NOT the same thing.

    Shooting, however, is a woman’s ability to expel fluid (or other objects like said ping pong balls. Why, goddess, why?) from the vagina. Usually this is due to trapped fluid caused by a sexual partner’s ejaculate or a build up of the female’s own fluids deposited into the vagina during sex.

    At any rate, squirting’s happened to me several times, all because I came so hard that I almost passed out. So, messy? Sure. Fan-bleeding-tastic? Absolutely!

    (Oh, by the way, the porn stars who squirt are usually among those that have always squirted. I’ve heard that with prolonged practice hitting just the right spot (the G, baby!) it can expand on a woman’s ability to squirt more, more often. So, practice makes you a porn star, yes? Hehe..)

    *I use this term loosely (pun intended)

    • jenaling says:

      thanks for this! I too am a natural squirter… my first BF made me feel like real SH*T cause he said I pee's on him then I had hang ups about it but Im embrassing what I am and who I am. My current BF is always hittin my G then its gushy at times, but not squirty.

  129. Dear Redhead says:

    My ex-fiance was (ahem) a director and editor in the porn industry. What resulted in the single biggest fight we ever had?

    Squirting.

    He came home from work one evening and started telling me about a shoot he had that day. He was all up in some chick’s…clam…with a handheld cam and she squirted. On the camera.

    And on HIM.

    I lost my shit. I’m like – those are bodily fluids from a SKANK and you’re telling me this story like you’re ordering pico de gallo on your fish tacos? Dear sweet fucking lord. He didn’t understand why I had such a problem with it.

    Forgive me. I’m biased against squirting. (sigh)

  130. No way, that shit is totally hot. Having sex and playing in the sprinkler. Two of my favorite things.
    Ah shit, I can’t even continue. That shit is not cool at all. I remember in the 90’s when penthouse was all about women peeing. Ewww.

  131. Well I don’t know what to say because I haven’t experienced a squirt from my wife, although there have been times where, like j said, i don’t know if it was a squirt or a leak but it was awesome. As for swallowing that, As long as it doesn’t taste like pee, I’d lap up every bit of it! I’d love it if it happened as a full gush, it would sure be cool to experience that. But I guess I should be thankful, because not having to repaint the walls after a screaming orgasm is definately a plus!

  132. I didn’t know much about this phenomenon…. Until last week.. Someone actually asked me if I was a squirter like it was a real life phenomenon.. I was like you know this isn’t a porn… right?

    He said he could make it happen… and he did not…

  133. Wow guess i haven’t watched any new porn in a while. I have this sudden urge to see wtf this squirting thing is about, since last I knew only guys squirted. All I know its never fun to sleep in the wetspot, so either have a large enough bed where the wetspot can be avoided afterwards or invest in super absorbent bed coverings. The same people that can squirt are they the ones that can blow out candles or shoot ping pong balls?

  134. I think the wet spot that comes from using too much saliva in support of the cause is enough ‘wet’ for my tastes.

    • I can pretty much guarantee you that if you were able to experience the mind bending type of orgasm that can produce squirting, the mess will seem inconsequential. If you are curious and never had a full on g-spot orgasm, do your self a favor and read this, and then treat yourself to one of these. The Pure Wand is a g-spot magnet. If that toy can’t get you to experience female ejaculation, then nothing will.

  135. I dunno, just seems like another mess to clean up to me. I don’t know why it’s so highly regarded in porn. I’ve actually never seen it. Hmm, perhaps I don’t watch enough porn. ;)

  136. I’ve been squirting ever since my first orgasm at 16. I had no idea what it was at first and I was embarrassed! As I got older, though, and it became talked about more, I realized that I wasn’t a freak of nature, at least not in a bad way.
    I’m glad that squirting has gotten a good rap as of late, but I’m disgusted that women are trying to TEACH themselves how to squirt. Can’t we puddle-making freaks of nature have something that’s solely ours? Why do porn skanks get to steal our thunder?!
    I will say that squirting can be a pain at times when I’m on the road and don’t have my Throes with me (which, by the way, are AMAZING! If you’re a squirter, you should DEFINITELY look into the Liberator Throes. No more soaked towels for me!), so I can’t completely “finish” when my boyfriend is making me cum (this just happened last night, as we’re on vacay away from home, staying at family’s house), but on the whole, I love it and so have my lovers! :-D

    • I found this thread from searching "squirting orgasm cleanup. My wife is a major squirter, which sounds cool to a lot of guys, but the cleanup is a pain. Thanks for the tip abou the Liberator Throes. I'll have to try that. Currently we have an old blanket on top of a waterproof tablecloth

    • jenaling says:

      thanks for this. I was a sometime squirter my whole life but my BF has a curved shlong that hits right against my G creating a squirty cold spot mess! so the tip will be handy muchas gracias

  137. I’ve never squirted and at this point I doubt my vagina is capable of such a feat. As for the porn, I’ve seen those squirters, though I doubt my husband has – he’s so not down with the porn. How the hell did I wind up with such a prude?

  138. Wow.
    Toy With Me is a squirter.
    huh.
    I feel so close to her now…

  139. AvionicsMan says:

    Ya the squirting thing while interesting can’t think of a reason I would want to have a facial too!! Oh wait that was a different blog of yours!

  140. comictragedy – Drive nails?!? I’d like to see that :)

  141. comictragedy says:

    i can change a tire, open a bottle and drive nails with my kegels.

  142. KinkyJew I had no fucking clue what the hell I was supposed to tell him when he called and said “what the hell was that all about?”.

    Sorry Dad, I just gave you information you really had a right to go your entire life without?

    I am done texting for the day. I’ll just have to wait to discover the answer to my question.

  143. Oh Michelle… You just made my day!!!

  144. comictragedy — Wow, you sound talented!! Go Kegel power!

  145. Or inadvertently text my father with that question. Excuse me while I go die in the corner a little bit.

  146. I do this occasionally. The first time it happened was a bit of a shock. I am apparently porn illiterate, so I didn’t know what the hell it was. The hubby does seem to like having a very visible confirmation of how damn good he beds me. I’ll ask him if it’s a huge turn on when he gets home.

    Or I could text him and get him all hot and bothered, and discover the answer to the question!

  147. Some of the “squirting” videos I’ve seen look a lot like pissing, and those rate a solid “ewwww”.

    My bride has come so hard on my cock and left me sloppy, and that’s sexy. I don’t know if I’d call that squirting or leaking, but it is always good to know she was having a good time.

    Today porn has gotten just plain nasty. I don’t want to see ass-to-mouth, though the occasional buttfuck can be sexy. I also prefer good old 70s porn…

  148. comictragedy says:

    I’ve been able to squirt since I was young. I found out I could “inhale” water in the bath tub and then squirt it right back out. When I was married, after the ex could cum, I would hike my hips out and squirt out everything! I’m sure some of it was his but, it was a turn on. Kinda skeevy. I’ll admit. But. It got him hot for a second go around. Plus. I aimed for his side of the bed. So. WIN WIN!

  149. Hmmm…..sounds like the men out there are not doing their “job” right. Squirting albeit somewhat messy is the ultimate orgasm! And with thanks to LadyTramp and her suggestion of using Luv Linens that is taken care of. Girls don’t pass on something amazing without experiencing it first. Remember the first time you had sex? It was messy and painful for most, but that didn’t stop you having a second go at it.

    MoM – I feel like you’re trying to arrange a threesome here :)

  150. MoM (but not the real One) says:

    Hey I’m sorry I thought Trish was Toy with me’s husband….OMG please forgive me…I am so sorry…I just got confused…forgive me I’m old and obviously settling into my dementia quite nicely. Toy With Me , Mr. toy, and trish I am so sorry. I had the 3 of you scrambled. time to shut my mouth. LOL

  151. Trish – I really don’t care what he calls it as long as he does it right ;)

  152. MoM (but not the real One) says:

    Ok you all know I’m blushing here just reading this and honestly when I tell my hub about this he’s gonna look at me like I’m nuts. Okay….in the midst of me typing this my priest just called …I shit you not….I’m not sure now if that should be looked at like it’s a blessing or God warning me to stop the impure thoughts! LOL Verby…thanks for the visual. That will have me laughing all day. And if I may butt in Mr. Toy with Me…you know you would be the one missing out with that last comment and you’re not gonna punish yourself like that! LOL Have a good day everyone!

  153. Well I’m a woman that squirts and I gotta say that this article makes me a little sad. I mean, I was born like this, so I’m glad guys find it sexy, or else I would have trouble finding a partner. They’d be all like “eww gross” and I’d be all like “sob sob”. Right?

    I don’t view squirting as some novelty, like I’m some eight-trick pony out there to make all other women feel inadequate. I’m not a porn star–au contraire, I’m an extremely normal girl with orgasms that are normal–for me. I would actually say that the popularity of squirting makes me feel better, because now it’s more widely accepted. I don’t have to feel like a freak anymore.

    There’s one thing to be nostalgic about the good ‘ol days, but this shouldn’t be the soapbox that sense of nostalgia stands on.

    PS – there are super absorbent Luv Linens that prevent me from ruining my furniture.

  154. If I wanted to see squirting, I’d go to Yellowstone National Park. I had enough problems when the plastic inserter for my diaphragm let go prematurely sending the diaphragm flying across the room like some weird UFO frisbee.

  155. Trish… that is just a totally different article ENTIRELY. Ahh, the joys of spanking!

  156. Wait – did Mr. Toy With Me just describe what he does in the bedroom as a “job”?

    I’m thinking someone needs a demotion. And maybe a good spanking. ;)

  157. Confession: Hi my name is Sandy and I’m a squirter! Yes Toy With Mes – I squirt and often ;) Perhaps it can be messy but so is the kitchen after cooking dinner and that has yet to provide me with a “Rock-My-World” orgasm!

  158. squirting has become cool because it focuses on the woman’s pleasure, for a change. when you see squirting going on, there is a presumption that the woman is getting off, in a big way.

    i’ve read studies about it. i can say one thing: there is far more “interest” in the scientific community in the male version of squirting. by contrast what we know about female ejaculation is laughably (or embarrassingly, really) sparse.

    coincidence?

  159. Stefanie – While I love and respect you as a friend and human being, I would like to point out that the visual of a man trying to swallow a squirt just reminds me of the clowns at the carnival where you have a squirt gun and you have to blast it all into their mouths until the balloon above their head pops. I don’t want my husband’s head to pop, and neither one of us are coordinated enough to try that feat. Also, as to number 2: we all have days where we just want to scratch the itch, rather than making it into a scene from Behind the Green Door. If I have to squirt every single time, we’re going to have to plan our afternoons better!

  160. Squirting? While creepy, I do see two upsides here.
    1. FINALLY. Men have to swallow too.
    2. No more faking orgasms. No wait, that might not be an upside.