I was raised, as almost all of us were, in a culture that enforced femininity as delicate, groomed, and quiet. God forbid we do anything loud or messy during sex. Having to hold back is repressive and icky, and has more in common with shaving your cootch than the afro-bushes of your 70's porn. No one is asking you to perform. Your husband doesn't care for it, apparently, so unless you are a porn star or in an open relationship with squirting aficionados, just let it go.

If you don't squirt, fine. That's you, and I'm not judging. But don't judge me, either. My body isn't gross. If your delicate sensibilities are offended, I suggest you watch less porn.