Comments on: The Psychology Of Submission

By: Elloracat

Elloracat — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:48:36 +0000

Awesome explanation! Thank you so much for writing it. I am going to share it with friends!
cheers,
elloracat

By: KinkyJew

KinkyJew — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:39:19 +0000

Absolutely! As long as you have condoms (or whatever), and have taken those rope-safety classes, I say, go crazy with your little horny selves!!

By: CP

CP — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:15:06 +0000

who the hell wants to have safe sex?

most boring thing EVER.

i’ll have my sex with a little bit of danger and thrill, thank you.

By: KinkyJew

KinkyJew — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:55:50 +0000

Diva – I’m sorry to hear that you’re no longer involved, for whatever reason. Also, I wouldn’t be too concerned about you read in a “Dear Abby” column. Our own “Dear Redhead” is far superior, and I think she approves of our “deviant-tendencies.” As my mother would say, “Good! More for me!”… though she wasn’t talking about BDSM.

By: divacowgirl

divacowgirl — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:32:06 +0000

I am unable to “practice” any longer, but I loved it. My biggest peeve about it is I remember reading a Dear Abby column and someone had written about it and she referred to those that participate in the lifestyle as “deviants.” Really pissed me off.

By: KinkyJew

KinkyJew — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:27:51 +0000

Hi dubiousma, you are absolutely right that a person can’t just walk into a “scene,” it’s why there are so many classes and pre-fun stuff (all of which is VERY useful, and should not be overlooked). And dub? I’m totally cool with you shortening my name

By: dubiousma

dubiousma — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:55:31 +0000

I am ALL ABOUT “the scene.” My motto has always been “if it feels good and nobody gets hurt (unless they want to) then do it!” Hang-ups are the things that make me feel weird, not the weird stuff, ironically. However, it does take a certain mentality to participate in such a scene and one should be very well prepared. Great post Kink! (I also have a “thing” about shortening people’s names)

By: KinkyJew

KinkyJew — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:17:32 +0000

crap… there’s no “www” for the link. Sorry!!

By: KinkyJew

KinkyJew — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:17:10 +0000

S – I totally get where you’re coming from. You get just as many problem when you and your partner(s) are both “tops” or people who like to control an encounter. My suggestion to you would be to discuss with your partner whether or not you want to reach out to your local BDSM community, and learn more about what’s out there. As I said in the article, there are ways of fulfilling desires that sometimes don’t include sex. Or, if yours do, then maybe you can find people who can help teach you and your partner what a more “open” and inclusive relationship can look like.

Reach out to your community. If you don’t know how to find them, I encourage you to reach out to your Queer-based community, as they’re often linked. If you don’t feel brave enough, try using http://www.Fetlife.com where you can find people, groups, seminars, and classes in your area. I would suggest you go to classes and groups first, before meeting individual people. That will help you learn who’s who in your community, and may better help define what you do and do not want to try.

Otherwise, LIVE IT UP, KIDDO!

By: Toy With Me

Toy With Me — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:07:39 +0000

Kinky Jew – Just finished slapping myself silly for thinking in stereotypes without knowledge. Great article.

Dear Redhead – You took the words out of my mouth – nicely said.