I was out to dinner with my husband and some friends the other night, when I looked over at his hand as he raised his glass of wine to take a sip. I noticed his wedding ring and it occurred to me how sexy it looks on him, and I wanted to jump across the table and have at him.
You guys know all about my imaginative and somewhat bizarre fantasy life, but I’ve never told you what does it for me in real life, when I’m not fantasizing about being ravaged by Halloween creatures or getting tossed on the hood of Officer McHottington’s squad car.
Love The Clean Look
I enjoy simple things, really. Like, clean. For example, while I think guys like the Deppster (swoon) are pretty hot, I’d have to give him a nice hot bath before I could ever let him tea bag me or whatever. I know some chicks totally dig the rough-around-the-edges grungy look, but I’ve never really been into yetis and ship wreck survivors myself. They just look smelly not to mention that if a guy’s all scruffy and furry on the parts we can see, how’s the situation with the down belows doing? I dare say it’s pretty likely that if the top half hasn’t seen a good clip and trim lately, then the undercarriage is also in need of a little attention.
I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing like getting a nice long curly pubie stuck in the back of your throat and having to ack! ack! ack! up a fur ball to ruin what could have otherwise been a very enthusiastic blow job.
Just sayin’.
You need to have a nice shave and a bath and a haircut if you want to get into my cotton Old Navy maternity sassy underpanties.
A Nice Smell Gets My Motor Running
And speaking of clean, a little aftershave or cologne is a wonderful thing. There’s nothing better than cuddling into a boy who smells really, really good and oh my goodness. That spot between neck and shoulder? Very nice. And everyone has their favorite scents (and their favorite spots), but I have to tell you mine is still Drakkar Noir. I don’t care if it pegs me as a total dinosaur–it still makes me pee my pants with desire.
I’m Not An Adulteress Whore
Another thing I like is jewelry, but just a little bit. I’ve seen some dudes wearing more ice than me, and quite frankly, it’s a turn off. I wanna be the pretty pretty princess and when my dude du jour is sporting more gold and jewels than Queen Elizabeth, it’s just not cute. That said, there’s nothing sexier to me than a wedding ring. (And no. I’m not an adulteress whore, and I’m not on the prowl for a married fella. Don’t. Worry. I have one of my very own who’s not seeing any action as it is, so I’m already in way over my head.)
I’m not sure why I like wedding rings, exactly. It could be what it symbolizes, or it could be the simplicity of the design because I’m equally into artsy silver bands worn on the thumb or index finger, too. Other than the rings, I can maybe deal with a bracelet as long as it’s not reminiscent of this. All other forms of jewelry (particularly necklaces) do nothing for me. My friend’s boyfriend wears tons of necklaces and earrings and bracelets and shit and every time I see him, I just want to get all up in his grill and shout “I PITY THE FOOL” at him.
Ink Is Hot
Tattoos are totally sexy too, and I’m all for them. That said, there are some that simply cross the line into…I don’t even know what. For example, check this shit out, y’all. You just called everyone over to see that, didn’t you? It’s okay. So did I. How could you not (unless the people around you are assholes)? Also, I don’t think it should say “mom” on it. That’s just creepy, Mr. Bates.
But these things are all just details. You know what does it for me most of all, Toy with Mes? It’s not nice clothes (although a boy in a suit is like, waitdidmypantiesjustfalloff? hot), it’s not a nice car or a huge…house.
It’s confidence.
Bada-Bing
It’s that Tony Soprano (I can’t be the only person who thinks Tony Soprano is dead sexy. Anyone else?), bada-bing, self-confident swagger that gets me moist in my crotchal area every. time. There’s nothing hotter to me than a guy who knows he’s the cat’s pajamas–the guy who looks at you with that “I’m gonna fuck you into next week, and you’re gonna beg me to do it again” look in his eye.
Mmmmmmmm…yes, please.
Before I met my dear husband, I dated a guy named Vito. He was sort of chubby and had, shall we say, strong features? And he was but a poor and lowly culinary arts student. He didn’t have a whole lot going for him in the looks/money/career department, but ho. lee. shit he was a hottie. He had that thing. And my girlfriends were into him too. Everyone loved Vito and everyone wanted to love Vito, if you know what I’m sayin’.
It’s A Confidence Thing
But before anyone gets concerned about my poor husband because I’m talking about how much I liked Vito, just know that I dumped Vito to go out with him because he had swagger, plus the other thing that turns my crank in a big way–My husband has a very, very big…
brain.
You totally thought I was gonna say “dick” didn’t you?
Fooled you!
Anyway, my husband had the swagger and the brains plus some of those other little things that are just icing on the cake, and I was just like, Vito who? And the rest is history, my Toy With Mes.
But that’s enough about me.
It’s your turn: we’ve all talked plenty about our fantasies–but now tell us what you think is hot in real life! I want to hear all about it from the ladies and the fellas, so start typing!
Possibly related goodness:
About the Author
Crissy,a lifelong Rhode Islander, is 35 and has two little girls. Aside from doing a little bit of writing here and there, she doesn’t use a shred of her MA in English. She writes a blog where she is Queen of *&%$#@* Everything and reigns over her readers, whom she calls Queefs, with a loving but firm hand. In both 2008 and 2009 Crissy won the Blogger’s Choice Award for Hottest Mommy Blogger. In 2010, Crissy was chosen as one of Blogher's voices of the year.
{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Hmm. This one is work! I had to think about the fantasies and analyze what it is that really does it for me. My list is almost the same as yours, except remove the bling and replace it with a sense of humor. Guys that can make me laugh (like myfutureexhusband Dane Cook) make me moist.
I love when my husbands talks with a southern drawl (aka Kevin Spacey in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil), and hot guys who wear sexy cowboy boots with jeans.
OMG! You guys just came up with two BIG ONES!
A sense of humor is totally hot–Dane Cook is MY future ex husband, Tess. Hands off, sister.
An accent is very sexy too! British and Southern are my favorites.
I knew you guys would come up with good ones.
It’s ok. There’s plenty of divorce to go around.You can even have him first. I wouldn’t complain about your used goods. You will have already taught him the good stuff by the time he got to me. =D
you guys do know that i’m in the room, right?
This is a hard one! My husband has a nice southern accent and a deep voice. So he can really lay on the sugar when he wants to. Along with that, he’ll look at me in a way that makes me want to drop my panties in a heartbeat. Also, he cleans up REAL nice…and I have to keep my distance when he wears cologne (ohmygodIjustwannarapehim) his signature scent is Curve for men. It’s SO yummy.
Givincey Pie, like as in the math symbol pie (3.33333 etc.)
Good dads/family men. (Also not a cheating whore, but it makes the ugliest guy appear attractive.)
Finally, ghetto fabulousness. This is a result of being from the hood… You show me a guy in a pimped out Cadillac, wearing a $200 sweatsuit… Yowza!
The Tony Soprano swagger does it every. time. for me. I just had a dream about Tony last night, in fact, so I was delighted to see him at the top of the post! I like a guy who not only swaggers but encourages me to throw it back at them.
Brains. Brains. Brains. And the ability to calm the crazy in me. THAT is dead sexy.
I met my husband when I started taking flying lessons. He was my ground school instructor – talk about “Hot For Teacher” – he had the whole confidence thing going. What drives me wild most though – his big green eyes. Guys that can communicate with their eyes and “a look” like Cortney says just do it for me.
I totally get the wedding band thing, I see his finger with that ring on it and I get all mushy and flustered.
Definitely a sense of humor. Jewelry, no; I like a guy who can fix stuff or make stuff not someone who has to call a repairman for absolutely everything. I mean, if I have to be good at cooking, he has to fix shit. Right? Also a guy that is good with kids. That’s a turn on.
I don’t know if you want to listen to me though, I think the freecreditreport.com guy is cute so……
Oh and a British accent???? Hell yes! Collin Firth! Hugh Grant!!
ok for some reason my first comment isn’t showing up. WTF?
Oh, Drakkar Noir. lol. Yes, as much as I love Armani or Hugo Boss, a guy wearing Drakkar Noir is still yummy in my books.
I know it’s odd, but my favorite accent is Romanian. I know, I’m an odd one.
Also, wedding rings are pretty. My boyfriend and I have pretty much decided we don’t ever want to marry but I kind of want a ring. I know, I told you I’m odd!
You are right, Tony Soprano is dead sexy. I also think Kevin James (from the King of Queens) is sexy in the funny, goofball way. Mostly, what’s sexy to me is a guy that thinks you are beautiful and sexy, just the way you are. Even if you are fat. WHY ?.. because he is no skinny B either and he is going bald which gives him no right to judge. OK .. I vented while leaving a comment. I need a therapist stat – Or a venti misto cup of crack from Starbucks. Where’s Friday ?
Oh baby – you look sexy hot draped on “T’s” arm.
I am a bad boy girl. If you’re tossing Johnny throw him my way. *swoon*. I lust dark eyes and dark hair. No beach blond surfer boy for me. To me dark eyes = rugged, tough, mystery and masculinity. Ohhhh yeaaaahh baby!
Ink really turns my crank too. Mr Toy With Me got inked in the Summer and damn he looks so fine.
Sense of humor is essential, as that’s what attracted me to my husband in the first place. Intelligence, loves to read books… I’ll tell you what, though. Two of my topmost “omgI’mgoingtotakeyourighthererightnowandthere’snothingyoucandoaboutit” things are: fresh out of the shower, and in the garage. Kind of contradictory, aren’t they? It’s true, though. I love that fresh out of the shower and still just a bit slick with water thing. Drives me crazy-like. But there’s always been something about a hottie working on cars, for me. I love the smell of grease and oil… I love the way a mechanic’s hands look on tools, or cleaning up with an oil rag… *Purrs* All fabulousness. Probably comes from growing up around motorheads and whatnot. Lol
I’m a guy, so of course the usual things – breasts, short skirts, bikinis, etc
But the things that really get me are…….
I love “the scent of a woman” – love good smelling hair and perfume. Bare shoulders are incredibly sexy. The sound of high heels gets my attention every time. Accents – ladies with southern or british accents make me melt. Flirting with your eyes. My wife every day.
Confidence, of course, but no cologne. I have to enjoy a guy’s natural scent. Not when he’s sweaty, just the way his skin smells. mmmm yummy! Broad shoulders, and cuddly.
Hats!
I totally think my hubby’s wedding ring is sexy, too. It symbolizes that he’s MINE.
well, at least all the guys have to say “porn.” why? because it works. it works for lots of women too, but with guys it’s nearly foolproof.
milfs. love me a nice milf. better in the sack, better head on their shoulders, just more meaningful all around.
sexual depravity. i’m a filthy fucker and you’d better be ready to get in the van. or at least, stretch out and try something new.
well placed and executed tattoos. never thought i was into this until my wife dressed up as pamela anderson for halloween one year:
a good lookin’ ass. what can i say? i’m a legs and ass man.
to be found attractive. it kind of goes without saying but i said it anyway.
amarige perfume by givenchy… my version of olfactory viagra.
ahh, i tried to embed a photo, and it failed.
try this instead: http://bighugelabs.com/onblack.php?id=2490095451&size=large
I love a fresh, clean shaven man. When my hubby goes in and shaves, I want to jump him right then and there. I love a slim hipped cowboy, too. Lucky for me, I have one. When he puts on his “nice jeans” and his scuffed up boots? O.M.G.
*now where’d I put that napkin for my drool?*
As silly as it sounds, I love the Old Spice deodorant he wears too. *hamedahamedahameda*
Nice pic filthy fucker
SkyddsDrake – sense of humor, intelligence and witty for sure.
Spontaneous! Not just for sex but – whatthefuckletsgetawayfortheweekend Actually there’s usually sex in there somewhere too.
Guys – What about hair? We spend a fortune and 90 million hours primping it, does it matter?
Oooo! Ooooo! I wanna know about the hair too! Why do I spend a millionty monies on my hair?
Seriously, I’ll shave the shit off today if it doesn’t matter to anyone.
hair totally DOES matter….as long as it’s long and grabbable (I’m almost there!)
as for me, the southern drawl is good…aka MATTHEW McCONNAUGHEY! Did I spell that wrong–sorry, I was too busy finding a dry area of the panties.
And swagger is why I am in total and unending love/lust/shutupandfuckmealready need for Bruce Willis. I can think of many ways he could return to Moonlighting.
the swagger gets me every time…
George Clooney – that is all.
I’m almost embarrassed to admit this but I love the smell of Brut (by Faberge).
Tallness is good, too. Doesn’t have to be REALLY tall but I have one ex who is 6 foot 4 and most have been 6’2″ or taller. But “taller than I am” by a few inches is good.
And I need to have a guy who thinks I’m ok the way I am. Having been married to guys who have said, out loud, to a waitress “C’mon, does she look like she NEEDS dessert?” Fantasize about hot chicks all you like in your spare time, dude, but you need to make me believe I’m what you want just as I am now or we need to not be together. (And I am MORE than willing to overlook alot of things in my man if he can make me believe he likes me just as I am…hence being married to a Wookie for over a decade…)
My husband is sitting here telling me that we prefer accents because people with accents are from far away which insures genetic diversity.
Remember I said “big brain?”
Yeah. Nerd.
Well, my husband is British, so his accent is definitely sexy. He’s also very intelligent and very funny, both of which are big turn-ons for me. I love to watch people laugh at my husband’s jokes. I, too, love to see the ring on his finger, especially when I see other women eyeing him up and realizing he’s already taken. I love it when his hair is freshly cut, nice and short. But I also love it when he has some stubble on his face…not to much, just enough to look a bit rugged. Rawwrrrrr.
But you know what I also love? He’s a geek, and he’s not afraid to be himself. Guys with confidence are sexy, but I also love the guys who maybe don’t always feel comfortable at parties and aren’t the cool kids but have reached the age where they are confident to be who they want to be, even if it’s not cool. Not sure if that makes sense.
A man in uniform…… oh hells yeah. even though my husband just wears khakis and a white button up shirt to work, you add his hard hat and boots and his electricians belt, and i will be ready to go! love military uniforms too!!!
To name a few…..
Glasses
High heels with jeans
Boots
Dirty talk whispered in public
Push up bras
Confidence is by far one of the most valuable features to look for in a man. Cleanliness is another biggie….I almost think that I should have done the clean thing first. The guy has to be clean. Curve is my scent of choice…Curve for men is Hot Hot Hot and makes my panties fall off.
wow, just abour says it all!!!
For me it’s definitely a sense of humor. Any guy that can make me laugh can get in my pants. That and I love a tall guy. Oh, and well dressed. Yummy.
I TOTALLY KNEW Mr. Toy With Me liked chicks in glasses.
For me, it’s more about whether they can make me laugh or not.
And not because they LOOK funny . . .
My boyfriend is the hottest of the hot! Just seeing him makes my panties fall off, I swear to you.
Okay, okay, so, he’s got a perfectly sculpted face, and eyes that just PIERCE you…like…I wanna *do* you eyes. And his smile is glorious. His throat is all…strong and delicious…
I am glad I am not the only woman who likes jewelery! My boyfriend wears one of those medical bracelets, but it just looks SO HAWT on him…because he is really muscley but not too much…and muscles with a bracelet…gets me wet every time I see him. And he’s got a bit of stubble, but it is sexy…oh! And he has hair on his tummy…which is the most. adorable. thing. ever. But he is still well groomed…and he smells…a…freaking…may….zing. So…anyways….can anyone tell I am enamored?! HAAH!
Oh, I love it when guys have sexy laughs. Teh boyfriend has this deep laugh that is so sexyyyy…words cannot describe it! And he is funny, too! Funny as helll! He is really random and tells really good jokes, but always makes me laugh till I want to pee. It is great! But I can still have fun with him and have conversations.
-sigh-
Oh, I didn’t mention! Reading some of these others reminded me…
TALL IS SO DAMN SEXY!!!!!
-huff puff-
I am 5 foot 1 so I am by far, NOT tall, but….tall men??? Melt.
And men in suits…especially when they get all sweaty??! Ohmygawdtakemenow. Like…Jonas Bjerre in the Repeaterbeater video…yeah….look it up, I dare you. When men are all well dressed there is just something so sexy about it, like you just want to pull them into the nearest broom closet with your tie and hump them till the cows come home.
Aww, yeah.
i feel sorry for all the short guys.
As a girl with ink, I have to tell you: I think ink IS hawt. It’s a matter of self-confidence, indeed. Knowing that each and every piece on my body has significance, I see that in the artwork on others. It’s a great conversation starter and it makes you wonder what they’ve got where you can’t see it!
Rose – I feel like I know you better than myself
CP – there’s lots of us short girls out there for them.
RedHead – Have I ever told you I love the fact that you have the word “head” in your name?
I would do Tony Soprano in a heartbeat…..omg…I’d even do Silvio…WHAT is wrong with me??
I am all kinds of turned on by my husband wedding ring. And that space between the neck and shoulder I call his nook. It is totally lovely when he is just out of the shower and clean. And just when it smells…like him! And that tattoo? I just showed my hot hubby and he asked me if that turned me on. NO! I said, and besides if you have to advertise it like that, you probably aren’t very good at it.
Tattoos are sexy!!
Toy With Me – Is that a good thing? HAAH!
Oh, and hey! My mom loves short guys. She thinks it is so sexy if they are as short as her. I don’t get it, but whatever works for her!!
Slightly sweaty man-scent. Love it.
Suit and tie. Clean cut. Geeky smart. Yes, I’ve dated a bunch of programmers and tech guys.
When men ask me what I find sexy, I tell them “a 140 IQ” and most of them shut right up. The ones that don’t, get my attention. (btw, PI is 3.14 etc. etc.)
A wedding ring would be great… I’ve been divorced for a decade. It would be nice to have a man willing to wear a ring for me. I’d like that very much.
I’ve been told I reek of pheromones. Men seem to smell my neck a lot. I don’t mind so much.
I thought I was the only one who had a thing for wedding rings! I think it’s ridiculously sexy… It kind of says ‘he’s mine’, you know?
I don’t so much go for looks (but if I do, the first things I notice are hands, eyes and stomach. And height!), I’m way more about the personality. If a guy makes me laugh, I’m his. And musical talent! Oh my! And smarts. Not necessarily a guy who makes me feel like he’s smarter than me, but a guy who can teach me stuff. My first boyfriend was an aerospace engineering student who played guitar, drums AND bass guitar. OH MY!
Okay, I am late to the party here, but getting caught up on the blogs I haven’t read yet.
Okay ladies, I could tell you that I am an ass and leg man, but that is just what initially draws me in…from there, I have a list:
– I look at the hands/nails – it really tells me a lot about how well the woman takes care of herself
- Hair, doesn’t have to be a certain way, but it does need to be YOU. Do not try to pull off celebrity hair styles just because it is the “in thing”
- Smell means a lot, but DO NOT overdo it…big turn off when you can’t breath around her
- Women too should be confident. A confident woman is sexy and you can tell it right away by how they walk. I once saw this young lady walk into a packed room at a social event in Mobile, AL. She wasn’t exceptionally good looking, but she carried herself with such “I own this room” confidence that I immediately went from 6 to noon!
Other than that, be comfortable and confident in your own skin.
Oh, one last thing…redheads will immediately throw all my rules out the window….seriously…I don’t know what it is about redheads, but I seriously get weak knees when one comes in sight…irregardless of size, shapes, etc.
The Don
Oh yea, one last thing.
Show off and accent you strong points. Look at CP’s picture above…that had an immediate effect on me.
The tattoo isn’t too much, but says I am a little wild = hot.
She is obviously well endowed up top, but that isn’t the best part…look at the necklace and how it lays in certain spots. That makes a man’s mind race…makes us want to be necklaces!
If you got, show it, and accent it well!
The Don
Newport, RI
Legs…. Muscular legs are a turn on for me. Well, I must say also ABS.
Plus, confidence and a high libido. (nothing too extreme of course). Sense of humour… Well, many things basically! 