Surra de Bunda – Punched By An Ass

Today we’re talking about the Surra de Bunda. You’re probably wondering what the hell that means, but you have to see the video first, and then we’ll discuss.

OMG, right?

WTF was that?

What you have just witnessed is a new dance craze in Brazil called the Surra de Bunda, translated as “ass punch,” or “punched by an ass” or “confused slut doesn’t know how to do reverse cowgirl correctly” or whatever. There are various translations but whatever it’s called, I can safely say that it’s the biggest what the fuck moment I’ve had in a long, long time.  I’m getting old and cranky and jaded and I don’t have as many of those as I used to, so that’s saying something!

For those of you who cannot watch videos because you’re naughtily reading this from work (for shame, but thanks for reading!), the dance involves 1) the hooking of feet over a man’s shoulders and then 2) the repeated violent slamming of an ass into his face. For his part, the man just sits there on the floor like a rag doll while he risks serious neck injury/bloody nose/broken face via ass-face trauma.

It’s um…sexy?

The name “Surra de Bunda” came from a song with the same title, originally performed by three Brazilian women who call themselves As Tequileiras do Funk.

The song is sung from the perspective of a Tequileira. Tequileiras are sort of like stripper/waitress types who dance and sing while pouring tequila directly into people’s mouths at bars and nightclubs.  Popular girls, in other words.  The Tequileira in the song is fed up with customers staring at and/or grabbing at her ass and so, being a shy girl who’s only just serving tequila to earn extra money to go on a Christian prayer retreat (I totally made that last part up), she is deeply offended and wants to make the men regret staring at her ass by punching them in the face with it.

(I’m not making this shit up, I swear to you.)

Apparently, in Brazil, their song and the ass-punching dance it inspired is a big hit. Who knew the brazilians were so into bundas?

Actually, everyone knew that, but whatevs.

Anyway, thinking that any reasonable person would consider the Surra de Bunda to be the silliest thing they’ve ever seen, (and by the way, it’s meant to be silly–wiki says so) I showed the video to my husband who I expected would laugh, but instead he was all “Mmmmmmm.  Looks pretty fucking hot to me!  Why don’t you ever do that??”

I have long known that he’s the kind of guy other men call a massive perv, and thus his reaction was only partially representative of the male species.  I needed more data.

Next up, I  showed my friend Bethany.  She was sort of just as puzzled as I was about the appeal of such a thing, but she wasn’t too surprised because, as she said, it’s so very, very Brazilian it’s amazing they didn’t think of it sooner.  She thought it should become their national dance, actually.

Do countries HAVE national dances?

So then her husband, Roland, watched the video and he had the same reaction as my husband!  He was like “ah, the men they’re doing it to don’t seem to mind.”   So it must be a guy thing to actually want to stand in line with a bunch of other guys so that some stripper/waitress thing can repeatedly slam her sweaty ass into your face.

Men will always be a mystery to me, I swear to Jesus, but it got me thinking.  1)  It doesn’t seem too degrading to the woman.  In fact, according to the lyrics, it’s the story of female revenge.  2) My husband has always been an ass man and if this is what he thinks he might like, then it’s worth a try.  3) He has already professed a curiosity in “queening.” 4) It actually looks like a pretty good core workout, heavy on the abs and hamstrings.

We aim to please around here, so I dusted off my hooker shoes–oh, don’t act surprised.  You know the ones, we all have them–and I put on my hot pants and his favorite socks and I sat him down for a good solid punch in the face by my ass:

Which ended with a trip the emergency room:

Oof. Sorry dude.

In hindsight, it’s probably not a move for amateurs. Also, perhaps my ass did not quite have the bootylicious padding of a Brazilian stripper that quite possibly helps prevent injury. As a result I cannot recommend trying this one at home, kids.

The Queen Of Everything About The Queen Of Everything

Crissy,a lifelong Rhode Islander, is 35 and has two little girls. Aside from doing a little bit of writing here and there, she doesn’t use a shred of her MA in English. She writes a blog where she is Queen of *&%$#@* Everything and reigns over her readers, whom she calls Queefs, with a loving but firm hand. In both 2008 and 2009 Crissy won the Blogger’s Choice Award for Hottest Mommy Blogger. In 2010, Crissy was chosen as one of Blogher's voices of the year.

Comments

  1. who WOULDN’T want to get punched in the face by a piece of this?

  2. I am speechless.

  3. While it doesn't surprise me that this comes out of Brazil, I do find it awesomely ridiculous.

    • Hot Momm says:

      Hi, there. I'm a Brazilian. I found some of the comments a little offensive. I do agree that the dance exists and was invented here. However, we get to see your girls in hip hop videos, that do exactly the same kind of thing (and Beyoncé, and Madonna, and, and) except with more money! Surra de Bunda is ridiculous because is badly performed… btw, I totally hate this kind of music (funk) as well as all the people I know personally. This is representative of a non-educated, highly poor part of the population. It is SO not "a brazilian fever" that I learned about it HERE! Best regards to all toys with me, I love the site.

      • No offense meant, Hot Momm! All in good fun…

        • Hot Momm says:

          I found the blog hilarious, btw. I loved the way you tried to do it, and all. It's just sad to see that people only see the dark side of Brazil. We do have wonderful dance companies (http://www.ciadeborahcolker.com.br/ – site available in english) and high quality music (Nelson Freire (pianist) playing Villa Lobos (composer) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6ofsPqvdp0 ) and all I see is Surra de Bunda, football, etc… I'm sure you guys didn't mean it badly, but thanks for the space for the discussion anyway.

      • Brazilians are known (in the States, at least) for it's open-to-anything, we-are-who-we-are-take-it-or-leave-it mentality. Brazilians do what they want to do and don't care what others think. That's what I meant with my comment. I'm sorry if you were offended by it.

        • It's great to see everyone sharing their point of view in such a nice manner. Thanks for being respectful to one another.

          Hot Momm – As Crissy said: "No offence was intended". Thanks for the links and your input – Cheers, Sandy :)

  4. I love you two. That is all.

  5. You have inspired me to try the same experiment on my husband to see what he thinks.

    I'll let you know the results or have him comment about it himself.

  6. CortGirl says:

    You guys are awesome.

  7. Tiffany says:

    HAHAHA I think my hubs is in the major perv category too because he would probably say the same thing.

  8. You two are hysterical! That was great. A Crissy Classic!

  9. hahahaha the look on his face is *priceless*!!!

  10. Oh god, I think this post just about finished me off!

  11. OMG I just love that you and hubby tried it out. Kudos to you both. And by the look of hubby's pick you are great at punching with your ass. Lol.

  12. Love the "hindsight" pun! I made it 34 seconds into the video before blood started to spurt out of my nose. Now you know what I want my TV to be able to do! Guess that puts me in the Perv catagory. I'll be waiting for my membership card!

  13. Well its obvious you two are the funnest couple I have never met. Don't you think you should have kept this all under wraps until you had a massive martini party and could get it onto a big screen? just sayin…

  14. Ridiculously awesome.

  15. I showed the Surra de Bunda video a few days ago to a bunch of male friends. Half of them were drooling over my shoulder and the other half had to excuse themselves to use my bathroom. I have no idea what it is but I guess men loving being clobbered in the face by a big behind.

  16. Oh my God!!! I am laughing so hard I am crying. Those SOCKS!!! Tears are streaming down my face. Thanks. I must go and make dinner now. Men are so weird.

  17. Yummy! I would totally do this. And that makes me hot.

  18. Annon Imous says:

    That clip is hot, you could sell it if it was a few minutes longer

    And what are you waiting for on the queening?

  19. First of alls, thank shiva for ass men. otherwise, chicks like me would never get laid. secondly, I totes have those rainbow socks! hacha!

  20. The first video is just wierd. I hope they wipe good because if they don't that guy will get a nose full. Second, your video is priceless. It would kill my hands and arms just holding onto the ankles.

  21. I totally saw a clip of this on TV the other day with no context, and was very WTF. This is just hilarious. So weird.

  22. My husband falls into the ” perv” category. He told me this happens “all the time” at bachelor parties!

  23. joeinvegas says:

    Hmm, probably already at the Vegas strip clubs: get a lap dance, then she moves up a little. Probably a lot better if she isn't wearing those shorts though.

  24. I'm not a huge fan of the ass-punch thing… it fills the same void in my life that trampling and femdom face sitting do. However.. I LOVE me some Rainbow Brite porn.

  25. The Brazilian version is perplexing. Your version is, somehow, cute. And what a good sport your husband is- every guys thinks he's an ass man- until he is knocked unconscious by one.

  26. Brazilian woman…ya gotta luv em & they hold up well.

  27. Well, I'm brazillian and I can say that not all the women here do that. At least not in public. But it's very funny to watch, though. And scary.

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