Being totally and utterly disappointed with the film offerings from Hollywood as of late, my husband and I have been rather addicted to Sexy TV shows lately. We’ve already watched all the True Bloods there are, and we’re milking what we have left of the last season of The Tudors–allowing ourselves a taste of it’s deliciousness only one time per week because once they’re watched, you can’t un-watch them.
Can I just tell you how much I love, love, love the Tudors? It is the very definition of sexy, in my opinion. Maybe it’s because as a Queen myself, I have a deep appreciation for the trials and tribulations of a monarch, or maybe I like it so much because I’m a big dork and I’ve never really grown out of my I love wicked old books and stuff phase, or maybe it’s the good old fashioned bodice ripping and codpiece swelling that appeals to me, but I lurrrrrrve me some Henry VIII drama.
I find it funny though that they choose Hottie McHotterson Jonathan Rhys Meyers to play Henry VIII because while he’s really very pretty and fun to watch roll around naked on the screen:
Didn’t Henry VIII ACTUALLY look more like Mario Batali?
SEE? It’s totally out of control, right? They even stand the same way!
Swap around some orange Crocs and a fancy hat and you’ve got twins! You know King Henry with all his festering leg issues and stuff would have loved him some orange Crocs. He’d be all, “enough with these whoreish Queens! Bring-eth me my Royal Orange Crocs and a turkey’s leg and a happy king I shall be!”
That was a little ye olde English for you right there.
Ahem.
But I digress. What I’m saying is that once we finish with The Tudors, whatever sexyness will we watch, Toy with Mes?
I have no idea, but what I do know is that despite the craptacular showing from Hollywood lately, there are already some pretty awesome movies out there, each with a special dose of The Sexy and The Hot and The Heavy, just waiting to be enjoyed.
One of my favorites is Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. I found it romantic that those two Sickie Sickingtons (the characters, not the actors themselves, although I have my doubts about those two anyway) found each other and made one another happy in their own twisted way. Not everyone agrees as to the romanticness/sexyness of the closing scenes, but I thought it was really sweet and sexy. I do know that others find it disturbing, though. In fact, one of my friends had such an argument with her husband over it that he spent the night on the couch! She should have just spanked him and peed on his chair.
Boogie Nights was obviously pretty sexy, being about the porn industry. One scene that stands out for me though was the one where Dirk Diggler and Amber Waves get it on while filming the only official “porn scene” in the movie. That was actually kind of sweet… she was trying to help him and he was trying to do a good job and… I don’t know. I was touched. Plus it was Marky Mark!
Brokeback Mountain was another one! The scene in the tent. You know the one. Gay, straight, doesn’t matter! ’nuff said.
And what would this list be with out mentioning Dirty Dancing? There’s no question that the ending scene where Johnny tells Baby’s jerkwad dad that “nobody puts Baby in the corner” and then her takes her hand and they dance like never before and Baby finally does that fucking lift and then they run off together is pretty awesome, but my absolute favorite scene is the one where they’re in the studio for Baby’s “dancing lessons” and they’re crawling toward each other on the floor. Very. Hot.
Waitress with Keri Russell was kind of awesome, too. As a pregnant lady watching that movie with the sexy scenes between her and her OBGYN?
Yes. Sir. Sadly for me, my OBGYN is an old fat guy my dad’s age. Totally not the same. *shudder*
We can’t forget 9 1/2 weeks, can we? I’ve never been one for food and sex, but Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke make it look all kinds of fun. And that dance she does to “You Can Leave Your Hat On?” I mean, it’s nothing compared to the sexy dancing I do for my husband, but it’s kind of nice if you like long leggy blonds doing a striptease in various bits of menswear and stuff. Plus this is back when Mickey looked normal.
And my girl card would be revoked if I didn’t include Unfaithful. Pretty much all of it. Yeah. The whole fucking thing.
Those are all I could think of, so I asked my facebook friends for their suggestions. A few people voted for the scene in the stairwell between Vigo Mortensen and Maria Bello in A History of Violence. I didn’t see that movie, so I can’t say.
Another person suggested the car scene from Titanic. You know the one where the windows are all steamy and a hand comes up and slowly rolls back down? I agree that was a good one.
Another person suggested the scene between Marisa Tomei and Philip Seymore Hoffman in Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead. I’ve never seen that movie either, but I watched the scene. Um…I’d call that a big yes.
And of course my pervy husband suggested Donkey Punch, Scene 2, Alex Sanders and Rachel Luv because he’s such a romantic.
Tell me Toy with Mes, what are some of your favorite romantic/sexy movies/movie scenes? I can’t make The Tudors last forever! Share your panty-wetters and tent-pitchers…
About the Author
Crissy,a lifelong Rhode Islander, is 35 and has two little girls. Aside from doing a little bit of writing here and there, she doesn’t use a shred of her MA in English. She writes a blog where she is Queen of *&%$#@* Everything and reigns over her readers, whom she calls Queefs, with a loving but firm hand. In both 2008 and 2009 Crissy won the Blogger’s Choice Award for Hottest Mommy Blogger. In 2010, Crissy was chosen as one of Blogher's voices of the year.
{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }
SO GLAD I'm not the only one who likes Secretary!
A History of Violence is one of my husband's favorites, but I think he likes the suspense, I prefer the stairway scene. We've watched it with the filmmaker's commentary on – they said it was the first "regular" movie with a 69 scene for a married couple. Highly recommend it.
For a sexy, sometimes silly series, have you tried Californication? You can watch the first few seasons instantly through Netflix.
My friend Rachel has insisting we watch that! Once The Tudors is finished, that's on the list for sure!
Are you watching Spartacus (HBO)? MANY scenes, but especially the scene in one of the later episodes of season one….the scene with the masks….OH MY.
Masks you say. Sounds intriguing
Spartacus is amazingly hot, the scenes get me all types of worked up !! Def worth the time, me and my girlfriends cannot get enough of it..cannot wait for the next season..
Ok, you've sold me, I will check it.
…weeds. you need to watch weeds. it is a television series, but theres like 7 seasons of it now, lots of really kinky sex shit all through out every season.
WEEDS is the bomb!
Best sex scene? Wild Things. I win.
That was my vote on FB.
They should have called it WET & Wild Things!
Have you seen Basic Instinct? Classic.
Totally!
Crrrrazzy hotness!
Cathouse, the HBO series about a Nevada brothel, is kind of sexy at times, in a funny sort of way. I don't think there are any new ones made, but it's in re-runs.
And, for something completely different: the BBC miniseries of Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy is pretty hot, due to the constant sense of sexual restraint. And Colin Firth.
Sexist two seconds of film is when a relatively unknown Uma Thurman suddenly strips off her nightie in Dangerous Liaisons, revealing the most perfect breasts that have ever existed.
Colin Firth is one of the sexiest men ever! I swoon every time I see him, and as Darcy? Holy. Crap. Extra. Swoon.
That is the raunchiest book ever, by the way- one the 18th century reader would call "a book to read with one hand."
Dangerous Liaisons, not Pride and Prejudice… very different!!!!
My bride loves The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan. And who does not like looking at Rene Russo's tits? Sign me up!
Ahhhh…Pierce. If you've been reading, you know that he makes some pretty interesting appearances in my dreams.
plus even his NAME is sexy.
"pierce" WHAT???
Then you need to watch the movie!
I get action every time we screen it. (though I do get a fair amount. maybe the movie has nothing to do with it! maybe it just makes me horny.)
Henry and June. PS Henry and June. Oh and Henry and June. Seriously. Anais Nin and Henry Miller? Swoon.
I'm no Kevin Costner fan, but the opening scene of No Way Out… daaaayummmm made me want to do all kinds of fun things with Sean Young in the back of a car!!
Kevin Costner?? Gimmeee. ……'cause even when that bad boy sucks, he's hot.
Huh, Kevie Poo? We know you readin' this, in between changing diapers and suckin' on yo baby's momma's parts.
We know you like to lick some girlie ankle now and again and suck on that soft piece behind her sweet knee….
Michael Douglas and the brunette friend of his in Fatal Attraction
Ain't nothin' wrong with some lezbee action! I'll see if I can get that through Netflix.
Down here in good ol' Aussie, we have a particularly delicious t.v show called Satisfaction… Get onto it. Also, Diary of a callgirl, I think that's the name, and if its not, its not far from it… the actress in that is called Billie Piper. If you haven't heard of either of those… Get clickin' on the net or run down to your nearest DVD emporium and buy yourself some HOT. SEXY. AND INCREDIBLY NAUGHTY t.v sexy time. Lastly, Queer as Folk. However, this one is sort of a niché market. As its about gay guys, oh and a lesbian couple
. There are no words to describe the sex scenes in this show. There is a British and American version, however I have only seen the American. I can appreciate the hetero-sexyness of a fine woman doing the dirty dancing or stripping off for a man… But Queer as Folk will always remind me why one man and another man are FUCKING hot.
Have you seen Rome? Its only two seasons, but they are full of Teh Sexy!
What about Beowulf and Grendel? That was an amazingly hot and steamy Sex scene when Grendel went into her tent and had his way with her……Well I thought it was hot and my GF didn't see anything wrong with it.
The Illusionist, between Edward Norton and Jessica Biel. Awesomeness.
Also, although it doesn't depict actual sex, the scene between Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler in Armaggeddon with the animal crackers? Totally gives me shivers in the nethers.
LOL you are the first person that I have ever heard admit "Boogie Nights" was hot. Chef and I saw it when we were dating. We both agreed that it made us feel dirty like we had to take a shower. We had the hottest sex EVER that night
I think the "Twilight" books are pretty sexy even though there is very little sex in them.
How has no one mentioned the bookshelf sex in Atonement. It made me want James McAvoy to do dirty dirty things to me…not that skinny bitch! Oh and the Scottish accent… fuuuuuuuck.
Now I know why my father and his wife loved The Tudors.
I don't have full cable access (just basic – which is very tame), so I don't have any great recommendations. But you guys have sure given me some! I hope I can get these on Netflix or Hulu! Thanks!
I almost forgot… Rocky Horror Picture Show! Very sexy.
Diary of a Callgirl has some nice scenes in it.
But I will forever love the sex scene in the beginning of 300.
Oh my, all of the scenes in New Rose Hotel between Willem Dafoe and Asia Argento. It has totally become a date movie for me.
*wink*
Also, because I am a total geek girl I have to mention the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang episode of Torchwood. Captain Jack vs. Captain John…totally hot!
I agree with almost all the films you posted. One of my favorites is L'amant http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101316/ based on a movie, also hot. The scene in the floor makes me happy in my pants only to think about it.
Going back into the archives, before Kathleen Turner had that sex change operation to become a man, she was hot hot HOT with William Hurt in Body Heat.
really is a shame what happened to KT
Body heat gets my vote! YUM.
Actually Henry VIII was only fat and nasty looking once he got older. In his younger years he was considered one of the sexiest men in all of Europe.
Chocolat gets my vote for sexy. Also Torchwood, because I also am a geek, because it treats sex as fun and funny sometimes, and because John Barrowman is a little bit fucking dead-hot. (I love that episode too, Jae)
I was going to mention the stairway scene when I read your opening paragraph. It's desperate and longing. Powerful. Almost violent, but not.
"Little Mermaid" anyone?
Cruel Intentions.
Ryan Phillipe, Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Selma Blair. It's a little bit funny, and a whole lot of sexy and awesome.
While there is no actual sex, I have to vote for the segment of Pulp Fiction with Travolta and Uma Thurman.
The date, the dance competition, and then the scene in the apartment afterwards. . . . you don't see sexual tension like that in movies anymore. It's all right in your face. I have always loved the chase just as much as the end result, and that movie does it right.
Californication is definitely a must-see. It's witty and sexy (I think the wit just makes it even more sexy!)
While I may be a total freak I found "The Babysitters" to be a hottttttt movie.
How has no one mentioned Monster's Ball? Granted, it's Billy Bob Thornton grunting, but it's also Halle Berry. WAY HOTT!!!!!
My vote goes to Bull Durham – totally hot scenes with Kevin and Susan Saradon!!
I think my vote would have to go to "Top Gun" I mean hello shirtless on a beach playing volleyball. (Even if it's Tom Cruise. It's before he went cuckoo pants) also there is some serious sexual tension in that movie throughout.
Late to the party, but I'm just going to third Torchwood. Sex of all gender pairings, and it's a really good (though slightly dramatic) show.
Thanks for sharing
a friend recommend this to me, glad he did