Comments on: Lets Talk About This One Time I Queefed http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/ Sex Toy Reviews - Toy With Me Sun, 20 May 2012 06:57:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jill http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-29011 Jill Tue, 16 Aug 2011 03:57:19 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-29011 Oh should I mention he hasn't talked to me since.... Oh should I mention he hasn't talked to me since….

]]> By: Jill http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-29010 Jill Tue, 16 Aug 2011 03:48:42 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-29010 Me and my "boyfriend" were just starting to have sex when I felt a strange feeling in my stomach (the kind you get when there's a lot of air in it and you know a queef is on the way)... now in case you want some background on our relationship: we went out for 2 years and he was an angel and right before he became a senior he dumped me and became an asshole but we continued to stay together..now he's going off to college and I've grown to realize what an asshole he really is....but anyway... Apparently he felt the air in my stomach as well and asked me if my period was coming or something. Thinking a queef was about to come I replied, "yes actually I'm supposed to get it soon". Thank God for that response because when I stood up to turn the volume down on the tv i released the LOUDEST MOST DISTUBRING QUEEF KNOWN TO MAN. He sat there astonished and then asked me the question I knew was coming....."Ew did you just fart?"...I stood there astounded at what just happened and started laughing even though he could tell I was emabarased and kept repeating " No I did not just fart are you crazy!" He kept giving me weird looks and laughing so that's when I panicked and figured I could blame it on my period. We stopped having sex after that and before he was aboout to drive me home I went into the bathroom and came out pretending to look all mad and said "Yup I got my period I guess that's what that sound was." He believed it but still made fun of me the whole car ride home. I'm a junior highschool and so nervous he's going to find girls in college that dont queef or he's always going to remember me as the "queefer." Somebody help! Me and my "boyfriend" were just starting to have sex when I felt a strange feeling in my stomach (the kind you get when there's a lot of air in it and you know a queef is on the way)…

now in case you want some background on our relationship: we went out for 2 years and he was an angel and right before he became a senior he dumped me and became an asshole but we continued to stay together..now he's going off to college and I've grown to realize what an asshole he really is….but anyway…

Apparently he felt the air in my stomach as well and asked me if my period was coming or something. Thinking a queef was about to come I replied, "yes actually I'm supposed to get it soon". Thank God for that response because when I stood up to turn the volume down on the tv i released the LOUDEST MOST DISTUBRING QUEEF KNOWN TO MAN. He sat there astonished and then asked me the question I knew was coming….."Ew did you just fart?"…I stood there astounded at what just happened and started laughing even though he could tell I was emabarased and kept repeating " No I did not just fart are you crazy!" He kept giving me weird looks and laughing so that's when I panicked and figured I could blame it on my period. We stopped having sex after that and before he was aboout to drive me home I went into the bathroom and came out pretending to look all mad and said "Yup I got my period I guess that's what that sound was." He believed it but still made fun of me the whole car ride home. I'm a junior highschool and so nervous he's going to find girls in college that dont queef or he's always going to remember me as the "queefer." Somebody help!

]]> By: Bob http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-23193 Bob Thu, 27 May 2010 04:06:55 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-23193 My ex wife and I had been playing with dildos for months... slowly increasing in size as we made more and more trips to the love shack. Well the monster of a purple one she picked out was pretty damn big. played with it for a couple of months. I knew there was only one that was larger...and I knew she would want it sooner or later. No i'm not intimidated by any inanimate objects and we had great sexy fun times with them so it was all way cool. I sprung the big money for the biggest toy in stock and left it handy under the bed. A few matrinis, some heavy petting and a little finger banging and we found ourselves in bed in a fuck stupor trying as hard as we could to play around. out comes the purple one and i remember the new one under the bed. I switch in the new player and she is starting to nod off a little and says whats that. I say its her new friend Tom, to which she says hey it is Tom, you cant fuck me my husbands right here, as she starts to wake up from her groggy state.....needless to say awkward...and now an ex. My ex wife and I had been playing with dildos for months… slowly increasing in size as we made more and more trips to the love shack. Well the monster of a purple one she picked out was pretty damn big. played with it for a couple of months. I knew there was only one that was larger…and I knew she would want it sooner or later. No i'm not intimidated by any inanimate objects and we had great sexy fun times with them so it was all way cool. I sprung the big money for the biggest toy in stock and left it handy under the bed. A few matrinis, some heavy petting and a little finger banging and we found ourselves in bed in a fuck stupor trying as hard as we could to play around. out comes the purple one and i remember the new one under the bed. I switch in the new player and she is starting to nod off a little and says whats that. I say its her new friend Tom, to which she says hey it is Tom, you cant fuck me my husbands right here, as she starts to wake up from her groggy state…..needless to say awkward…and now an ex.

]]> By: ken http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22461 ken Wed, 05 May 2010 16:12:41 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22461 who engages in anal play but is so revolted as to VOMIT at the appearance of poo?? i mean, really? let's not forget the primary biological function of the anus. if you can't stand the heat, don't go into the kitchen. who engages in anal play but is so revolted as to VOMIT at the appearance of poo??

i mean, really? let's not forget the primary biological function of the anus. if you can't stand the heat, don't go into the kitchen.

]]> By: Horrible http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22455 Horrible Wed, 05 May 2010 02:46:14 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22455 Oh boy. Horrible #1: Was woken up by what I thought was my handsome roommate at the time (I lived as the only girl in a house of 4 boys), he was trying to 'get it on' (or so I thought, it was dark and I was drunkish), so I decided "what the hell"! We ended up having sex when I realized it was not my roommate, it was some other dude who was icky icky icky. Hope he liked being called by the wrong name. Horrible #2: Same time period, too much drinking, and a big party. I ran into a guy I went to high school with and wound up on my friends couch going to town with him. What I forgot was that I had just started my period. We wound up going back to my place for the evening then back to the friends for breakfast. When we walked in there was a group of 20 or so partygoers that wanted to know why there was blood all over the couch? She made me shampoo her couch. Horrible #3: After getting married I thought the embarrassing stuff was behind me, I mean, how could I get embarrassed in front of my husbad?! Well, after a couple bottles of wine we decided some anal was in order. Yup, you guessed it; poo. My poor hubby noticed and started to throw up on the side of the bed. Extra horrible. Oh boy.

Horrible #1: Was woken up by what I thought was my handsome roommate at the time (I lived as the only girl in a house of 4 boys), he was trying to 'get it on' (or so I thought, it was dark and I was drunkish), so I decided "what the hell"! We ended up having sex when I realized it was not my roommate, it was some other dude who was icky icky icky. Hope he liked being called by the wrong name.

Horrible #2: Same time period, too much drinking, and a big party. I ran into a guy I went to high school with and wound up on my friends couch going to town with him. What I forgot was that I had just started my period. We wound up going back to my place for the evening then back to the friends for breakfast. When we walked in there was a group of 20 or so partygoers that wanted to know why there was blood all over the couch? She made me shampoo her couch.

Horrible #3: After getting married I thought the embarrassing stuff was behind me, I mean, how could I get embarrassed in front of my husbad?! Well, after a couple bottles of wine we decided some anal was in order. Yup, you guessed it; poo. My poor hubby noticed and started to throw up on the side of the bed. Extra horrible.

]]> By: Amber http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22454 Amber Wed, 05 May 2010 01:32:19 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22454 Well. There's the inevitable "mommy, are you all right?" but really not the MOST embarrassing. The worst was when my husband and I first hooked up. I'd had a truly awesome party at my apartment that night. There were people sprawled everywhere. Darling man and I locked eyes and just knew. We scurried to my room and proceeded to get it on. We had one of those wonderful sleeping/waking/lovemaking sessions. Off and on for hours. That is until we heard the vacuum running in the living room. My sister had woken up from her drunken stupor and started vacuuming to cover the noise (I'm a screamer). She couldn't meet my eyes for MONTHS. Well. There's the inevitable "mommy, are you all right?"
but really not the MOST embarrassing.
The worst was when my husband and I first hooked up. I'd had a truly awesome party at my apartment that night. There were people sprawled everywhere. Darling man and I locked eyes and just knew. We scurried to my room and proceeded to get it on. We had one of those wonderful sleeping/waking/lovemaking sessions. Off and on for hours. That is until we heard the vacuum running in the living room. My sister had woken up from her drunken stupor and started vacuuming to cover the noise (I'm a screamer). She couldn't meet my eyes for MONTHS.

]]> By: Kat http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22422 Kat Sat, 01 May 2010 22:01:54 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22422 This one isn't so much embarrassing, but funny. My guy and I had woken up and decided to have morning sex that day. For some reason, he tends to go much longer than normal in the morning, and I was starting to get a little dry. So, he reaches into his bag, and grabs what he thinks is lube, and proceeds to rub it on himself. Just as he's about to go in again, he starts yelling. It was then that we both realized from the burning sensation that it wasn't lube he'd grabbed, but hand sanitizer. Despite the pain, we both couldn't stop laughing. Tip: Hand sanitizer does NOT feel good on your genitals, so maybe it's not the best idea to keep it in similar bottle to your lube, in the same bag. This one isn't so much embarrassing, but funny. My guy and I had woken up and decided to have morning sex that day. For some reason, he tends to go much longer than normal in the morning, and I was starting to get a little dry. So, he reaches into his bag, and grabs what he thinks is lube, and proceeds to rub it on himself. Just as he's about to go in again, he starts yelling. It was then that we both realized from the burning sensation that it wasn't lube he'd grabbed, but hand sanitizer. Despite the pain, we both couldn't stop laughing.

Tip: Hand sanitizer does NOT feel good on your genitals, so maybe it's not the best idea to keep it in similar bottle to your lube, in the same bag.

]]> By: Whitters http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22418 Whitters Sat, 01 May 2010 03:11:22 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22418 i had just met my boyfriend in italy. we were fooling around in his bed when i all of a sudden remember...it's my time of the month. fantastic right? i jump up and proceed to bleed...PROFUSELY...all. over. the. floor. i try to run out and as i do, puddles of blood follow me. drip. drip. drip. all the way out the door. boyfriend is fantastic and HELPED ME CLEAN IT UP. i had just met my boyfriend in italy. we were fooling around in his bed when i all of a sudden remember…it's my time of the month. fantastic right? i jump up and proceed to bleed…PROFUSELY…all. over. the. floor. i try to run out and as i do, puddles of blood follow me. drip. drip. drip. all the way out the door. boyfriend is fantastic and HELPED ME CLEAN IT UP.

]]> By: Accidental Olympian http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22384 Accidental Olympian Thu, 29 Apr 2010 20:20:34 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22384 Here's one. Freshman year I finally hooked up with the cute boy in my English class. There we are, WASTED in his top bunk, and I decided to pleasure him orally. What I forgot, being turbo wasted and all, was that I have TMJ. Or as others call it, LOCK JAW. That's right. Half way through I realized my jaw, Would. Not. Close. So there I am, mouth agape, trying to say, "My jaw wont close," but all it sounds like is, "Muah jaaaaaa waaaounts clthostuhs," while trying to physically close my mouth with my hands. All of I sudden in my drunken painful state I decided that I should call my mother, who also has TMJ. I guess I thought she could give me pointers or something on how to fix this less than stellar situation. I dial, sobbing, and my dad answers. Suddenly hearing his voice snaps me back into reality and my jaw shuts. I cry and cry and cry, and my father hands the phone to my mother. I told her I was brushing my teeth when my jaw locked. Thankfully it was 3am, so she didn't really question my logic all that much. Needless to say, the cute boy and I did not enter into a loving relationship after that. His loss. Right? Here's one. Freshman year I finally hooked up with the cute boy in my English class. There we are, WASTED in his top bunk, and I decided to pleasure him orally. What I forgot, being turbo wasted and all, was that I have TMJ. Or as others call it, LOCK JAW.

That's right. Half way through I realized my jaw, Would. Not. Close.

So there I am, mouth agape, trying to say, "My jaw wont close," but all it sounds like is, "Muah jaaaaaa waaaounts clthostuhs," while trying to physically close my mouth with my hands. All of I sudden in my drunken painful state I decided that I should call my mother, who also has TMJ. I guess I thought she could give me pointers or something on how to fix this less than stellar situation. I dial, sobbing, and my dad answers. Suddenly hearing his voice snaps me back into reality and my jaw shuts.

I cry and cry and cry, and my father hands the phone to my mother.

I told her I was brushing my teeth when my jaw locked. Thankfully it was 3am, so she didn't really question my logic all that much.

Needless to say, the cute boy and I did not enter into a loving relationship after that.

His loss. Right?

]]> By: carrie meadows http://toywithme.com/stories/queef/comment-page-1/#comment-22322 carrie meadows Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:50:03 +0000 http://toywithme.com/?p=3616#comment-22322 Oh, jeez. The Queef is the worst, even when it's not in front of semi-strangers/enemies. Someone should warn women about The Queefs, too- like, "Oh, BTW, after you have your baby, even like waaaaaay years after, even if you don't pop him out of your cooch but must cut him out, you will have way more Queefs. " Oh, jeez. The Queef is the worst, even when it's not in front of semi-strangers/enemies. Someone should warn women about The Queefs, too- like, "Oh, BTW, after you have your baby, even like waaaaaay years after, even if you don't pop him out of your cooch but must cut him out, you will have way more Queefs. "

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