This Isn’t Your Fathers Sex Doll

sex dollThere’s a huge taboo in Judaism against idol worship. We view the image of Jesus on a cross, and most statues made of Christian saints to be idolatry, as Christians tend to kneel in front of them during prayer. Yeah, it kinda freaks us out. But there’s a difference between a graven image that is worshiped, and a graven image for enjoyment. Most people don’t worship Barbie… unless you’re my friend, Dave.

The $6,000 Sex Doll

Dave wrote me an email this week to let me know he was now an “I-Doll-atrist,” I had no idea what to say. Being in the world of BDSM, you try to go non – judgmental, but let’s face it; that’s a “what the fuck?” situation. It turns out that Dave had recently purchased his first “Real Doll.” This is the next step in the old blow – up date. These things are anatomically correct, start at aboout $6,000.00 and look almost perfectly real… you know, except for the giant boobs and perfect makeup. To be fair to Dave, he has always considered himself to be a – sexual until fairly recently when he felt that he was just not good at being social. And as much as I have no problem with this from the sexual perspective (because, hey, who am I to judge what is “weird” anymore?), I do have a problem with it from the social perspective.

Just Buy A Partner!

Is this what we’re coming to now? You can order you videos and groceries online. Get your books in a digital form. Even my water filter has a small computer in it to tell me when I should switch it out. And now, if you’re not good at being social, you don’t have to practice; just buy a partner! Tell the company what color hair you want, what size breast, and ignore the fact that the chief part of the concept of companionship is that you have a companion.

Now, I know a few women who have chosen not to have partners, not to have kids, and to live their lives the way they want, and I totally applaud that. But, I think that if you’re going to decide to have a partner, then woman/ man – up and improve yourself to the point where you feel comfortable with an “organic” human being.

A Fucked Up Trend In The Sex Culture

An Real DollTechnically, this fetish is called “Pygmalianism,” which is the sexualization of an inanimate object (don’t you feel all smart now?), like a Love Doll, or that guy in England who has sex with cars (seriously, and no, I don’t know how. The tailpipe? I feel gross knowing I just considered that option). What concerns me is that there is a big enough market for this sort of thing, that there is more than just one company. There are a few. And now there are films about it. My deep love of Ryan Gosling aside, this is a pretty fucked up trend in the sex culture. What really bothers me, aside from the fact that a person who buys a Love Doll is essentially giving up, even for a short time, on significant human relationships, is that most of these dolls are women. Yes, there are a few men, but I’ll bet you good money that 90% of the dolls sold are female. What the hell does that say about our culture?! That a plastic, non – threatening woman is becoming the woman of choice?

Sex With A Giant Barbie

From a Jewish perspective, Dave’s decision would be entirely unacceptable as idol worship. Not because the man is bowing down to the doll, though if he’s willing to do oral on a doll who will never feel it, then points to him for effort, but because he’s choosing to hold his fantasy world as more important than the real world. Of course, then you could get into a philosophical debate about what’s real… but I don’t think I can swing that right now. And does this count as masturbation? I mean, technically you’re alone, except for those custom made, never – blinking glass eye balls that just stare at you all the time. Creepy. And while most people believe that masturbation is frowned on by Judaism (it’s not, most sects believe the “Onanism” issue to be one of disobedience, not of choking the chicken), it’s still gotta be weird to have sex with a giant Barbie, and then have to clean her up when you’re done. No? Am I wrong here?

Future Shock

People eschew human interaction to play video games, knit, work on cars, all sorts of things. I hate to make a judgment call here, but I think when you start to replace people with dolls in a long – term situation, you start really having problems. I love Dave, I think he’s great, but I can see why he has troubles being social. Maybe he has Asperger’s, or maybe he just never learned to make friends with girls. Either way, are dolls the wave of the future?

Are we seriously going to stop socializing and talking to each other in favor of machines that will do everything for us? Will sex with real humans go the way of the hoop skirt and hand – written letters? More importantly to those of us in the Kink community; how exactly do you flog a doll?

I don’t think I’m ready for the sex of the future. I can barely get behind the electronic “books” I see people reading on the metro! If this is “future shock” I think I need a paper bag to breathe into. I mean, would you encourage a friend to buy a sex doll? Is one enough, or is variety the spice of life? Is it pathetic, brave, or something in the middle? I want to hear your thoughts.

Toy With Me About Toy With Me

Comments

  1. Three Words this article deserves: shut up Bitch!

  2. It’s so funny when something new happens or changes and suddenly people think that new thing is going to take over the world. I’ll admit, I could never get down and dirty with a doll, but the people that can? Cool. Sex with toys is not going to replace real sex. Notice I said “toys”? Yes, a doll is meant to represent a real person, but so is a dildo. And dildos don’t replace real sex. They’re two separate entities and most people recognize that. And those that don’t? Those that only want to have sex with dolls? That’s a fetish, and those only represent a small percentage of the population.

  3. During my Human Sexuality class for the Marriage and Family therapy program I graduated from, we had to watch a video about Real Dolls and the people that purchased them. They weren’t necessarily only for sex. I definitely see the benefit of having them as a therapeutic tool for those with extreme social anxieties and the like. There was one fellow that chose to talk to his Real Doll rather than talk to himself. It helped him feel less alone, in a sense. I wish I could remember the name of the documentary… It was really pretty interesting. I guess I don’t automatically go for the thought that these people (men and women) are trying to replace interaction with other people, or that they are aiming for an extreme objectification of (wo)men. I think that with a $6,000 price tag, these folks are putting more thought into their purchase than that. And, quite frankly, I think some people get them for the shear artistic value. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating Real Doll is staggering… Although I can see how the incredibly realistic nature of the dolls would bother some, I find myself mostly just admiring the art of them.

  4. Well Nomad, how would you feel if a wife died and left her body to her husband for, umm… later use? Then it’s consensual, and at least the body has some sentimental value. And if it’s preserved (OMG, I can’t even believe I’m talking about this), then there’s no worry about decomposition.

    Ok. Ew. So, the question on the table (so to speak): Is consensual necrophilia ok? Like donating your body to science.

  5. Here’s what creeps me out about sex dolls, and creeps me out more the more realistic they are: You’re having sex with someone who looks and feels human, except that they don’t talk, move on their own, breathe, have a heartbeat . . . so how is this different from doing a corpse? Necrophilia is one kind I just can’t open my mind for. The guy who loves cars doesn’t bother me, but anyone who loves corpses is kind of a problem.

    So yes, this means I feel better about talking sex dolls and others that lean towards AI. It still looks like you’ve given up on real humans, but at least you’d like your lover to seem to be alive.

  6. Some interesting links & points. Although there seems to be a market for the Real-Doll, considering the cost my assumption is the niche is small. Even with introducing AI technology you can’t replace the real thing.

    As for Real Touch, looks like fun. Interactive sex toy – bring it on!

  7. Dear Redhead says:

    Well, Kinky Jew, if you’re anti-Real Doll, are you anti-Real Touch, too?

    Check it: http://www.realtouch.com

  8. KinkyJew – Thanks now I feel validated !! lol

  9. Johnny – On that one, we TOTALLY agree.

    Wicked Shawn – Yes, but does she sigh half-heartedly when he orgasms and she doesn’t? I think that’s gonna be the next step. Thanks for the link!

  10. Not to make the situation more complicated but during this years Sextravaganza in Vegas, there was a gentleman who was taking pre-orders for a sex doll who is pre-programmed to talk to you. She responds with proper conversational sentences, has orgasms, it is a sex doll combined with rudimentary AI.
    http://acheetonamedlarry.squarespace.com/journal/2010/2/1/sex-and-chicken-nugget-robots.html

  11. I’ll point a finger for the hell of it!

    Parents !!!! Now that they are working on there second marriages kids are left usually in development stages fending for themselves struggling to make sense of the world with the internet guiding them. While mom and dad are trying to get some.

    Sucks I work with young adults and usually have to end up as some sort of father figure because the first one did such a poor job.

    If I had a vajayjay (guess that’s what you all call it now) I would have to be a mommy to.

    OK I’m done.

  12. Johnny – Is modern culture fucked up? Yes. Undeniably. But I think that if we’re going to point giant, plastic, sex-toy fingers, they have to be pointed at male AND female culture.

    Camille – Therapy I could get behind; sex with an inanimate object rather than human interaction? Meh.

  13. Hmmmmm…..I can’t really come up with too many arguments in favor of these dolls except maybe for therapy. I am not easily creeped out. But this pretty much did it. Great comments and post.

  14. KinkyJew – Fair enough tit for tat, however try this as scary as it might be. Think about what you see in pop culture today from a 14yr old boys perspective. Basically “I have to act like a complete jackass to get a woman’s attention or be doomed to live very lonely”

    My thoughts from a 14yr old girls perspective ” I have to act like a complete bimbo and starve myself or be doomed to live very lonely”

    Well makes for great entertainment right? Glad us adults are able to grasp reality hopefully my kids will, cause I’m to busy golfing with my buddies. (my view on how parents think)

    Wow looks like I am in a mood today!

  15. @Patty Punker – Hmmm… interesting points. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but the idea that I can be replaced by a love doll freaks me out all to hell. Thanks!!

  16. Johnny – I don’t know if that’s fair; there are just as many poor MALE role models for men. I think you could possibly make the argument that women’s roles have shifted drastically in the past 50 years, and while there is a lot of emphasis on girls to embrace this change, there isn’t as much focus on boys and how THEIR roles may have changed, too.

    Jack – I’m always up for some hot and spicy Talmudic conversation! And, as crazy as men can be, I would still prefer the real thing (well, 9 times out of 10) to just a vibrator strapped to a giant Ken doll.

    Thanks for bringing the male input, guys!!

  17. you’re all going to shoot me here, but i don’t see it as the world going to hell in a “doll basket.” i think it’s just a solution for some men. not all men will turn to the doll or robot and away from the real thing. when i was a young girl in a troubled home, i played with barbies and created make believe worlds to play out the shit i was experiencing and create my own solutions and realities. i did this for many years past my other friends, but finally was pressured to giving it up so i wouldn’t get caught still playing with dolls. it was a therapy. as an adult with a social anxiety order, i still seek creative outlets for the shit that debilitates me out so i can avoid meds. i say, so be it for those who need it. i don’t feel it’s a slight against woman. it’s just the way some dudes cope with crippling anxieties and if helps get them through the night, then alright.

  18. I can hook you with a Rav who will give you an entire Talmudic discourse on why husbands and wives need to put out with great regularity. But that is not really the point.

    As crazy as women can be I have a hard time imagining that I’d ever want to turn to a doll. It is just not the same and that destroys all of the real interest and fun.

  19. This is only the beginning. This market sadly will steadily increase with mens frustration with the woman of today. Men are becoming more and more distant with every passing day. I am seeing it at work more and more. Try to be Objective here and take a look at most role models of young women now a days. Paris Hilton, Jersey shore, Lindsey Lohan. Men are giving up, Tina Fey can not balance it out all by herself. Young men see women being rewarded for being attention seeking, sluttish party girls. That is who is celebrated on TV not the beautiful women that are smart and achieving. Men are giving up. Which is fine with me, less competition!

  20. Man, now all they need to do is create AI personalities and it’ll be like we’ve been transported in the Clamp world of Chobits. Oh wait, that’s what Roxxxy’s for! And they’ll never fight about the other woman in your life! It’s perfect!!

    I would totally get one of these if she could go down on me. But a real tongue wins out over a plastic something with lube. (A wet clit is a happy clit!)

    I wonder if you can open her jaw for a blow job? I mean those ol’-fangled blow-up dolls look surprised all the time, but at least you have options, you know?

    Good luck to you friend, now. Maybe $6,000 later he’ll feel more confident in exploring sexuality with a real (ohmiGAWD) woman. Or man. You never know, when identities start changing.

  21. MB – I hear ya. There’s a difference between a masturbation tool, and something that entirely replaces a human. AND, what does it say of your perception of people if you feel they CAN be so easily replaced? To me, it’s a continuing theme of removing ourselves from human interaction via technology. Thanks for reading!!

  22. I can’t help but feel like I’ve fallen into a Futurama episode: http://www.hulu.com/watch/4510/futurama-anti-robot-propaganda

    That said, I am troubled by the implications of the Real Doll. While there is a male model (one is a disembodied torso and the other looks like it’s a human replica), all of the advertisement is geared towards a male population interested in purchasing a female doll. It seems like a reinforcement of the message some men (and women) get that men are entitled to women’s bodies. Maybe I’m a prude, but I see a big difference between a fleshlight or masturbation sheath and replicating a woman’s body wholesale.

    It’s easy for me to talk, though. I have a mate and access to regular social interaction with said mate. I realize that sex is more than just an orgasm, and intimacy with another person may be incredibly hard (if not impossible) for some to achieve. I’ll be intrigued to how other people react.

  23. Suzy Voices says:

    You bring up such excellent points. But maybe it could help Dave? Probably not, but there’s always hope. ;-)

  24. Thanks for commenting, Wicked Shawn! I don’t know if I want a copy made of myself for my husband to love up on after my tits start reaching my knees, but I guess something that looks like me is better than some bleached california blond!

    Suzy – I don’t think it will help Dave. I think what will help him is getting OUT of the house. Bring the doll along, I don’t care! But spending all your time with a plastic chick can’t be good for your social life!!

  25. @Wicked Shawn – Be your husbands mistress – very creative. As for couples, something to keep in mind ;)

  26. I have to admit I am a little freaked out, not so much by the idea of men buying the dolls to escape awkward social situations or possible rejection by women. Its just that, these damn dolls will never age, thier breasts will stay exactly where they were put, no surgery needed. Their youthful skin will remain supple and firm. I am thinking perhaps I should contact one of these companies, request they make Love of my Life a replica of me in my current state, then hide her in the basement. When he goes through midlife crisis, pull her out and tada, he needs to stray no further than the basement to get his younger fix! Hmmmm.

    I do find it to be a bit of a cirular anti-social self-fulfilling prophecy. Many men who buy these have already given up on ever having a relationship with a woman, some are buying it in the hopes of “practicing”, but I am not really sure you can prepare for a real woman with an inanimate object. The best group, in my opinion, is the smallest group, that is the couples who are buying the dolls to spice up their lives. They get a Hell to the Yeah!!