I don’t know about you but I don’t really enjoy attending baby showers. Let’s face it, a baby shower is all about the woman who is pregnant and ever since I stopped being the pregnant one, I don’t really care to be at a shower where there is no booze and we are forced to taste baby food and guess the flavor.
The flavor is barf. All of them… they taste like licking the bottom of a shoe after said shoe has stepped in dog poop. I remember tasting it when I fed it to my kids. It didn’t taste good back then and it doesn’t taste good now.
But I digress.
So baby showers are not the most fun thing in the world to attend. But I go because I am a good person and I want to share my birthing stories that will most likely make the woman pregnant, especially if this is her first baby, regret the night she told her man to not wear a condom.
The baby shower was moving along at a snail’s pace and each woman there was ‘oohing and aahing’ over every little baby outfit. I was bored.
Maybe it’s because those baby years are still fresh in my memory and not blocked in the ‘do not open’ part of my brain but I don’t want to see twenty pairs of baby socks. If you’ve see one, you’ve seen them all.
I decided that I would entertain myself.
I moved to the back of the room and pulled out my phone. I texted my husband.
Hi.What are you up to?
He was home with the kids who should have been long in bed. I hoped for a quick response but my phone remained silent.
I turned my attention back to the shower activities, “Oh that is so hard.” someone said referring to the quality of a crib mattress, I couldn’t help but giggle and say under my breath, “that’s what she said.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket.
Hey, there sexy pants. Having fun?
Not really. This shower is lame.
Most showers are.
What are you doing?
Thinking about you?
Oh yeah? What are you thinking about?
I’m thinking about sliding my hard cock into your wet pussy.
Wait! Hold the phone! Did my husband just sext me? I reread the text. Hot damn, I think he did. Now this was exciting.
Back when we were dating, before texting was even invented, my husband used to talk dirty to me on the phone. Like phone sex dirty.
We didn’t get to see each other except on the weekends and by Wednesday night our hormones were raging and we needed release. He would explain in great deal how he wanted to lick my pussy until I came and I would always find my hands down in my pants.
These little phone sex conversations were awesome, but after we got married, had kids and stuff they stopped.
The fact that he was sexting me now, excited me big time.
Because I was rusty, I answered in a lame way…
Oh yeah? That sounds good.
I can’t stop thinking about my cock in your pussy. Fucking you silly.
Now you are getting me all excited. Wish I could leave and come home to you.
So do I.
My phone fell silent but the shower was still in full swing and I didn’t want the sexting to stop. It was hot, getting my panties wet hot.
If you had me naked, what would you do to me?
Make you suck me…
And then my phone downloaded a picture of my husband’s hard cock at the same time one of the shower guests came up to chat with me.
I was so focused on that lovely cock that I didn’t see her and her saying hello startled me so much that I dropped my phone.
In horror I watched my phone fall to the ground and as it did, I chanted in my head, “Please land cock side down. Please land cock side done!”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” the woman said as she bent over to pick up my phone for me.
“OH MY GOD! NOOOOOOOOOOO!” I screamed and dove after my phone pushing her into the wall.
My screaming had of course captured the attention of everyone in the room. You could hear a pin, or phone, drop.
“Ha. I’m just really possessive about my phone. It’s like my baby.” I said with a nervous giggle and then bent down to pick up my phone, quickly pushing the button to hide the picture.
I extended my hand to the woman who had fallen over and helped her up. Then I did the only thing that I could, I picked up a pair of baby socks and said,
“Aren’t these the cutest thing in the world?”
Baby shower back on. Thank goodness! Now with all the guest’s attention back on the baby stuff, I took out my phone and sent one last text…
“I’m leaving. Have that cock nice and hard for me when I get home. I can’t wait to suck it.”
So Toy With Mes, time to dish out your sexting stories. Have you ever had an awkward or embarrassing sexting moment? Do tell.
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