I mean, there are a lot of options. I don’t mean orifices, but thank you if that’s where you went with that. I mean “Where do you want sex”? Everybody has curiosities, and plenty of them, but one that almost everyone can agree on is “doing it” in an unusual place. Maybe you’ll get caught. Maybe you’re the first ones to do it there. Maybe you just have to “break-in” the new car. Whatever your story is, sex outside the bedroom is almost always more exciting, and almost always leads to stories for later.
Personally, I love the concept for every reason above. It’s the pioneering spirit of rebellion, breaking rules to get what you want. Maybe you tell everyone about it, maybe you don’t, but you never look at the ball park the same way again. Today it’s definitely not unheard of to have a big collection of toys in the bedroom, it’s certainly not unusual to get a little rough, and for many it’s perfectly normal to film the act for later review. Having sex in unusual places might be the last really risqué thing we have…
Are We There Yet?
Long car rides can be a real drag, but the limited space inside most cars presents a challenge. Honestly, who doesn’t enjoy a challenge? I can’t prove it, but I bet this is a scene as old as the auto industry itself. Pop into the back seat, move this leg here and that leg there. You’ll make it work; it has to work. I don’t want to make it sound like the back seat is the only stage in the place though. The front seat makes things a little more interesting and, depending on your location, you can always get out and just use the surfaces the car offers. It’s clean, it’s yours and you can escape quickly.
A Walk in the Park
The right dress choice, or just some good loose fitting clothing opens up a lot of places for that quick opportunity. If the weather’s nice, why not take a walk in the park. Stray off the path and see where things go. It’s natural, it’s risky and there’s always a good chance of someone seeing you, even if they don’t make themselves known. Troublemakers will likely go on about their business, fuming quietly that you’ve offended them, and those of us who understand will give a knowing nod and start trying to talk our “other” into the same thing. For me, the concept that someone might see is icing.
Visiting the In-Laws
It’s the holiday season again and time to visit the in-laws. You’re doomed to a weekend with family, talking about knee-replacements, bad relationships and all the TV shows that your older family members think are stupid. Fine, they’re probably right but that doesn’t change the fact that this sounds seriously un-fun. There is likely a house-full of people to entertain the kids. It’s time to sneak off to an empty room and take care of business. If you’re caught, you may become the black sheep of the family. Bonus for next year: you may not be invited back.
Off the Deep End
Pool sex, in a safe pool, is an incredible experience for everyone, and the natural extension of skinny dipping. Nobody’s looking, you’re already mostly undressed and the water’s nice and warm. Your movement creates a smooth rocking motion automatically. What more could you want? How about instant clean-up? Ok, done. Grab a towel, and move to some comfortable chairs to relax. If you share the pool with your family, worry not. The chlorine should clean it up for the most part, the filter will take care of the rest. This is excluding what might be stuck to you…
Excellent Bedside Manner
Doctor/Gyno visits can be incredibly embarrassing, but there is a silver lining. Well… It’s more of a pastel cloth lining. You or your partner is stripped down, wearing a gown that does little to cover anything. If a skirt is an opportunity for sex, this is like a blinking Las Vegas sign in the proper mind-set. The doctors or staff almost always leave you there, sometimes even lubed up, and tell you to “go ahead and change back into your clothes”. Your papers will be waiting for you in the front. A quick romp, especially if stirrups are present, couldn’t hurt. You’ll both leave with a grin.
Couldn’t Find a Place to Do It
I’ve heard stories, seen pictures and watched videos of people who didn’t take the time, or couldn’t find a clever place to do it, so they just put speed on their side, clothes on the floor and decency as far out of sight as possible. Some people blatantly want to be seen, and I understand that, but jail time is a terrible climax. Take some time to think it over, get inventive, and find a spot to claim. Everybody’s doin’ it. What’s the best outside-your-own-bedroom place that you’ve had sex?
About The Author
If you ask him, KeepingYouAwake will tell you he’s a secret agent, underwear model or Prince of a little known, but wealthy, foreign country. Beneath that layer is a pretty normal man who loves boobs, his family and the female form in its many varieties. Beneath that, he’s naked.
After spending many years in the city, KYA now resides in the country outside of Indianapolis where he and the Mrs operate a mini-farm breeding sarcasm and style into their 4 month old daughter. You can read his comical stories and ideas on his blog Keeping You Awake. You can also follow him on Twitter.