Where do you want it?

coolest-places-to-have-sexI mean, there are a lot of options.  I don’t mean orifices, but thank you if that’s where you went with that.  I mean “Where do you want sex”?  Everybody has curiosities, and plenty of them, but one that almost everyone can agree on is “doing it” in an unusual place.  Maybe you’ll get caught.  Maybe you’re the first ones to do it there.  Maybe you just have to “break-in” the new car.  Whatever your story is, sex outside the bedroom is almost always more exciting, and almost always leads to stories for later.

Personally, I love the concept for every reason above.  It’s the pioneering spirit of rebellion, breaking rules to get what you want.  Maybe you tell everyone about it, maybe you don’t, but you never look at the ball park the same way again.  Today it’s definitely not unheard of to have a big collection of toys in the bedroom, it’s certainly not unusual to get a little rough, and for many it’s perfectly normal to film the act for later review.  Having sex in unusual places might be the last really risqué thing we have…

Are We There Yet?

Long car rides can be a real drag, but the limited space inside most cars presents a challenge. Honestly, who doesn’t enjoy a challenge?  I can’t prove it, but I bet this is a scene as old as the auto industry itself.  Pop into the back seat, move this leg here and that leg there.  You’ll make it work; it has to work.  I don’t want to make it sound like the back seat is the only stage in the place though.  The front seat makes things a little more interesting and, depending on your location, you can always get out and just use the surfaces the car offers.  It’s clean, it’s yours and you can escape quickly.

A Walk in the Park

The right dress choice, or just some good loose fitting clothing opens up a lot of places for that quick opportunity.  If the weather’s nice, why not take a walk in the park.  Stray off the path and see where things go.  It’s natural, it’s risky and there’s always a good chance of someone seeing you, even if they don’t make themselves known.  Troublemakers will likely go on about their business, fuming quietly that you’ve offended them, and those of us who understand will give a knowing nod and start trying to talk our “other” into the same thing.  For me, the concept that someone might see is icing.

Visiting the In-Laws

It’s the holiday season again and time to visit the in-laws.  You’re doomed to a weekend with family, talking about knee-replacements, bad relationships and all the TV shows that your older family members think are stupid.  Fine, they’re probably right but that doesn’t change the fact that this sounds seriously un-fun. There is likely a house-full of people to entertain the kids.  It’s time to sneak off to an empty room and take care of business.  If you’re caught, you may become the black sheep of the family.  Bonus for next year: you may not be invited back.

Off the Deep End

Pool sex, in a safe pool, is an incredible experience for everyone, and the natural extension of skinny dipping.  Nobody’s looking, you’re already mostly undressed and the water’s nice and warm.  Your movement creates a smooth rocking motion automatically.  What more could you want?  How about instant clean-up?  Ok, done.  Grab a towel, and move to some comfortable chairs to relax.  If you share the pool with your family, worry not.  The chlorine should clean it up for the most part, the filter will take care of the rest.  This is excluding what might be stuck to you…

Excellent Bedside Manner

Doctor/Gyno visits can be incredibly embarrassing, but there is a silver lining.  Well…  It’s more of a pastel cloth lining.  You or your partner is stripped down, wearing a gown that does little to cover anything. If a skirt is an opportunity for sex, this is like a blinking Las Vegas sign in the proper mind-set.  The doctors or staff almost always leave you there, sometimes even lubed up, and tell you to “go ahead and change back into your clothes”.  Your papers will be waiting for you in the front.  A quick romp, especially if stirrups are present, couldn’t hurt.  You’ll both leave with a grin.

Couldn’t Find a Place to Do It

I’ve heard stories, seen pictures and watched videos of people who didn’t take the time, or couldn’t find a clever place to do it, so they just put speed on their side, clothes on the floor and decency as far out of sight as possible.  Some people blatantly want to be seen, and I understand that, but jail time is a terrible climax.  Take some time to think it over, get inventive, and find a spot to claim.  Everybody’s doin’ it.  What’s the best outside-your-own-bedroom place that you’ve had sex?

About The Author

If you ask him, KeepingYouAwake will tell you he’s a secret agent, underwear model or Prince of a little known, but wealthy, foreign country.  Beneath that layer is a pretty normal man who loves boobs, his family and the female form in its many varieties.  Beneath that, he’s naked.

After spending many years in the city, KYA now resides in the country outside of Indianapolis where he and the Mrs operate a mini-farm breeding sarcasm and style into their 4 month old daughter.  You can read his comical stories and ideas on his blog Keeping You Awake. You can also follow him on Twitter.


  1. Nymph

    I like it outdoors too. How about early spring, with mostly melted snow, but with a few piles at hand to help spice things up? Once you get rolling the cold really isn’t much of an issue, and just adds another dimension to sensations.

  2. i like the gap fitting room. or any store with unisex fitting rooms. it’s so exciting when the clerk comes around to ask if you’re doing ok in there.

    and a men’ s bathroom. not a man in the world would say anything when you both come walking out.

  3. Let me think …. I got a black eye having sex under a Christmas tree once, but the Christmas tree was in the living room so that probably doesn’t count. Except that it wasn’t my living room.

  4. Toy With Me

    SkyddsDrake – I’ve often fantasized about the elevator too. Having the doors open as I’m adjusting my skirt and fixing my hair. My face flush from sexual desire spent. Having…..uh, well you know.

    TheBeerLady – Car sex is in the rearview mirror for me as well.

    thepinkpoppet – Next time keep in mind – safety first! Unless you want to die during mid orgasm.

    Michelle Bell – I’m a lover of the outside too. My favorite place by far was the Playboy mansion! We couldn’t resist! It seemed almost illegal to be there & not get it on.

    KeepingYouAwake – Thanks for a fun article & your witty replies!

  5. @A Vapid Blonde – Hilarious! So she knew that you used it, and the stain was the problem?

    @Michelle – Excellent suggestion and it sounds like you’ve been given a lecture on pool table physics, possibly by a hotel owner?

    @submom – You are full of the awesome!

    @TheBeerLady – You paint a picture that I think we’ve all seen in the movies. Excellent story.

    @moonspun – Ooh, that’s great! And the new office gives you something to look forward to.

    @thepinkpoppet – Oh wow, what did you tell the hospital staff, or was it more of a walk-it-off affair?

    @Dear Redhead – Not to be overlooked. Different rooms in the house can spice things up quite a bit. Especially if it’s so passionate that you just can’t wait.

    @Michelle Bell – Camping… I can’t even believe I left that off the list… Excellent, and it sounds like you’ve got a story to share?

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