The best thing about a strap on? Everyone can use it! Whatever spectrum you identify under, a strap on can be an exciting addition to your bedroom life.

However, before you decide to purchase one you need to do your research. You don’t want to waste your time and money on a toy that isn’t comfortable for you or your partner.

If you are reading this article, you probably already have an idea of what a strap-on is. And your curiosity is not unfounded! It’s a popular toy. But, quite frankly, choosing one can feel very daunting to a newcomer.

Our helpful guide will not only teach you how to use a strap-on properly but also whittle down the ever-growing list of information out there and help you decide which one is right for you.

What is a Strap-on?

what is a strapon
A strap on is a wearable appendage, dildo, safely nestled in a harness that is used for penetrating a partner. As we stated above, anyone can use it – whether you have a penis or a clitoris.

It’s one of the most, if not the most, versatile toys in the game. There is often a misconception that strap-ons are only for lesbians, or couples that want to engage in pegging. But, honestly, strap-on uses are endless.

Types of Strap-ons?

There are dozens of different types of strap-ons, but for our purpose we will focus on the four most popular types.

  • All In One Strap-On
  • All In One Strap-On with a Hollow Dildo
  • Strap-On Harness Kits
  • Strapless Strap-On

Depending on what you would like to use your strap-on for, that will determine what kind of strap-on and dildo you want to purchase.

All About the Harness

all about strapon harness
The harness is the most important aspect when it comes to strap-ons. It’s the key to having penetration hands free. You could get the best dildo money could buy, but if you don’t have a proper fitting and comfortable harness, everything will fall apart before you even get started.

It’s important to acknowledge that some of the biggest complaints with strap-ons are about the harness. Whether it’s too difficult to put on with too many straps, or it doesn’t fit certain body types, or the wearer feels clunky or weighed down.

Psst…Check out this uber-cool artist changing the harness game.

Harnesses come in a variety of materials, but the two most popular are nylon and leather. If there are two of you planning on wearing the strap-on make sure the harness is adjustable to accommodate different body types.

And please make sure that your harness is easy to clean.

Harness Types

Choosing what your harness will look like all depends on your comfort and what you are looking for. But, there are typically four main types of strapped harnesses that are the most popular.

G-string – This harness is just as the name implies, there is a strap that goes around the waist and between the legs.

Jock – Very similar to a jockstrap worn in sports, this harness’ straps go around the waist and each leg.

Corset – A corset harness ties in the back to make it snug, with each leg going through a strap.

Underwear – This type of harness is an actual pair of underwear. It could be a boxer or panty variety.

A strap-on should be an extension of your body, so choosing a harness that will be both comfortable and easily controlled is of the utmost importance.

Choosing The Right Dildo

dildo for strapon
Dildos, or appendages, come in all colors, shapes and sizes. And the most important thing to remember when choosing one is not just how to use a strap-on dildo, but what will be the most comfortable for the wearer AND receiver.

I think comfort is a common theme here. But when it comes to sex acts – comfort and lube are the ride or dies.

Plus, struggling with a dildo while in the heat of the moment is just not cute, it’s far too clumsy and can be a big turn off.

Don’t forget to get your partner in on choosing the dildo too. You don’t want to get something that is disappointingly small or overwhelmingly large.

And choose your dildo based on how you want to use it. If you are using it anally, you might want to stay on the smaller side, but on the other hand a large dildo might be warranted for vaginal usage.

O-Rings

O-rings are either metal or rubber rings, in various sizes, that connect the dildo and harness. They are usually included in strap-on kits but can also be purchased separately.

As long as the dildo has a flared base, you can insert the dildo using an O-ring. This ensures your hardware stays in place, and there are no mishaps during intercourse.

A Few Important Tips

It’s OK to take it slow. Take your time finding a harness that is right for you. As we stated many times above, if anything at all is uncomfortable it might put you off strap-on sex altogether.

Harnesses that have too many straps, do-dads, or what have you is not only a drag, but laborious and dreadfully unsexy. Mid-coitus should not have your mind wandering down to a strap digging into your leg.

There are many long-term strap-on users touting the benefits of buying a separate strap-on and dildo combo. The quality will be there. But, it can be quite costly.

Don’t buy your first strap-on online. You could read all the reviews in the world, but if you can’t touch and hold the harness and dildo beforehand, you might risk wasting money and valuable time.

The first place to start is a trip to your local sex shop together. Don’t be shy, you are in good company there – shop assistants are a wealth of information.

As always, don’t forget the lube! Especially if you are using your strap-on for anal penetration. Remember the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, therefore LOTS of lube is needed.

Four Main Types of Strap-Ons

main types of strapons
While there is a plethora of varieties of strap-ons, for our purpose we will break down the four most popular ones.

It’s important to note that you need to choose your strap-on based on who will be wearing it – so whether you have a penis or clitoris.

You and your partner’s pleasure is paramount. It’s very easy to waste hundreds of dollars on toys that just don’t work for you. It’s super important that you research, read reviews, and pay attention to measurements.

All-in-one Strap-On

An all-in-one strap-on is a strap-on that comes with a dildo already attached to the harness.

Pros:

  • The dildo and harness combo take the confusion out of shopping
  • Great for beginners
  • One size fits all
  • Cheaper than other strap-ons
  • Easy to put on
  • Good for pegging
  • Good for same-sex penetration

Cons:

  • Can’t change the dildo for different sizes
  • Can only be worn by people with clits
  • The harness might not be universal
  • Advanced users might think they have less control

All-in-one Strap-On with a hollow dildo

This is similar to the strap-on above, but the attached appendage is hollow inside. Allowing for insertion of a penis or vibrator.

Pros:

  • Less overwhelming during the shopping process
  • Good for beginners
  • Can be used by people with a penis and clitoris
  • Good for men with erectile dysfunction and role-playing
  • Cheaper than other strap-ons
  • Can insert a bullet vibrator inside the dildo
  • Easy to put on
  • Good for pegging
  • Good for same-sex penetration

Cons:

  • Can’t change the dildo
  • The harness might not work for everyone
  • Advanced users might think they have less control

Strap-On Kits

The most popular of the strap-on choices. Kits come with an adjustable harness, O-ring, and often times a dildo. But, the great thing about the kits is that the dildos are interchangeable.

Pros:

  • Dildos can be interchanged to suit your taste
  • Harnesses are universal and can be worn by everyone
  • Padding in the front of the harness for comfort
  • Vibrator pocket in the front for some added fun
  • Good for same-sex penetration
  • Good for pegging
  • Built to last

Cons:

  • Can be expensive
  • Could be elaborate to put on
  • Can be daunting for beginners

Strapless Strap-on

The strapless strap-on may be the most interesting out of all the options. But, how to use a strapless strap-on is one of the biggest questions.

This toy needs to be used by those with vaginas as it’s inserted by the wearer. The wearer also needs to have strong Kegel muscles to hold the strap-on in while penetrating their partner.

Pros:

  • Can provide harness and hands-free penetration
  • Good for same-sex penetration
  • Good for pegging
  • The wearer will also receive stimulation

Cons:

  • Won’t be a good fit for everyone
  • You have to purchase it before trying it out
  • Can slip out

Pegging

pegging
You may be here because you’re in a heterosexual relationship and want to try a gender switch. Pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on and anally penetrates her male partner.

For a woman, this new power dynamic can create an exciting and empowering take charge situation.

It’s also one of the most vulnerable sex acts. It takes a ton of communication and self-confidence on both ends. Pegging is not really something that is spontaneous, so knowing how to use a strap-on on a man takes patience, practice and understanding.

Men who want to try out pegging may have first seen in porn. But, porn is a fantasy and doesn’t show you need to do in order to prepare yourself for anal penetration first.

Women fucking a man can be a transformative experience, so it’s best to leave the expectations at the door.

Best Positions For Beginners

When it comes to sex position for beginners, the best advice we can give you, is that it’s important to stick to the basics.

This is a good time to watch some porn to get a few pointers. (But, it’s best not to try everything you see there.) As you become a more seasoned user, you can add more positions to your repertoire in your boudoir.

Doggy style is always a great one to start with for the strap-on wearer. The dildo wearer can be behind their partner on their knees.

A traditional missionary position is perfect for connecting to your partner in your new role.

Get Creative

As we said, a strap-on is about as creative as it gets in the toy world. You can use it for whatever you like.

Including foreplay with your appendage can be an extremely hot experience. Hello, strap-on blow jobs!

Put a cock ring around your dildo and amp up the pleasure for the both of you. Don’t worry, we’ll assume your thank you card is in the mail.

Thrusting With a Strap-On

Thrusting is something that will need some practice. You may get it on the first go, but more likely than not you will need a few go’s to get your rhythm. You will have to learn how use pelvic muscles that you have never used before.

But, the idea of thrusting into your partner, taking on that traditional male role, is what brings many to a strap-on in the first place.

Special Advice

For the first-time strap-on wearer, get a real good feel for your new appendage and harness.

Walk around the house in it. Stroke it. Play with it. Do the dishes in it. Masturbate wearing it.

It’s yours now – enjoy it!