LELO MONA 2 Review – It’s Spectacular

LELO MONA VibratorSo, it’s confession time. The time when I’m honest with all of you about how I’m a big ungrateful snobby-snob and how I’ve learned my lesson. Yes, this is the type of sex toy review that ends with a lesson. Ready? Okay.

A few weeks ago, the lovely people at Toy With Me sent me a package. In this package was a LELO MONA 2, a mid-size premium vibrator. And I was to review said LELO MONA. I opened the box and at first I was like, “Eh.” And my roommate was all, “What’s wrong?” And I’m like, “I already have a LELO toy!” And she’s all, “Um, so??” And I’m like, “The one I have is a clit stimulator and this is like a for real vibrator and I don’t like those as much and, well, mehhhh.” And she’s all, “You’re ridiculous,” which I think actually meant, “You and your vagina are seriously ungrateful.”

So I put off using my LELO MONA for a while, thinking things like, “It can’t be that good” and “I’m having plenty of sex, who needs this?” But then the time rolled around where I had to write about it, and in order to write about it, I had to use it. (Listen to my snobby ass, “had” to use it. What a torturous and awful life I have!)

LELO MONA Vibrator 2 I removed it from its box, plugged it into its wall charger, let it charge for two hours, and, when it was done charging, I just carried it around for a while. Held it, waved it in the air, pushed all the buttons, tried the six different stimulation modes – all without actually using the thing. I held onto it while my roommate and I watched stand-up comedy that night, trying desperately to find something wrong with it, something to prove that I was right and that this item was an unnecessary addition to my sex toy collection. But, I couldn’t. And do you know what happened instead? Instead, I found like eleventy hundred other uses for it. Like, you can use it as a microphone while singing to yourself in your bathroom mirror. And, because of the curved shape, you can pretend it’s a telephone and “call” your roommate from the other end of the couch. And, because it’s so powerful, you can use it as a neck massager. And, and! Because it’s light-weight and purple, you can use it as a magic wand. Seriously, it’s the most fun thing ever to wave around. Although, I don’t think my roommate appreciated me Harry Potter-ing it at her and commanding, “Abracadabra orgasm!” all night. Or maybe she secretly did. And maybe she now wants to make Harry Potter porn. Wait, I WANT TO MAKE HARRY POTTER PORN!

(Oh my god. Do not Google “Harry Potter porn.”)

LELO MONA Vibrator Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, my LELO MONA. So, bedtime finally came around and I was all, “Alright, let’s do this.” And then I did. And then, well, and then I realized that I’m the biggest asshat in the history of asshats, because it was fantastic. F-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c. Seriously, and I should say this quietly so she doesn’t hear me, but MONA is better than LILY. I know right?! I didn’t think it got any better than my little LILY and so there I was, claiming that I’m a clit stimulation girl and that this vibrator was “too boring” for me. Well, that’s false. Actual false on all accounts because (bold statement alert!) the LELO MONA vibrator is the best I’ve ever used. Ever. Maybe it’s the curved shape. Or maybe it’s the fullness of the sensations. Or maybe it’s the fact that it’s so light, and so quiet, and so easily able to switch between modes and levels of intensity. Maybe maybe maybe.

Other things in MONA’s plus column include the fact that she (like all LELO products) has a lock function that ensures she’ll never start vibrating at the wrong time. Like while traveling. Or while you’re rummaging through your purse at the bank. If, that is, you’re the type of person who happens to take a vibrator to the bank. And really, with a vibrator this good, why would you not take it to the bank? And to the coffee shop. And to the bar. And to basically anywhere with a bathroom for you to escape into and masturbate.

Just kidding. I haven’t done that. Yet.

God, this product is totally going to turn me into a masturbation addict.

Maybe I should try using LELO MONA and LILY at the same time. Girl on girl on girl threesome! I don’t think I could handle that kind of stimulation though. I’m obviously a very delicate flower. We’ll see.

Oh, and wasn’t this review supposed to end with a lesson? Here’s the lesson: Don’t be a snobby idiot bitch. When someone sends you a free premium sex toy, just assume they know better, take your pants off, and stop complaining.

Cool. Have at it. Oh, and in the meantime, here’s a video of me and my LELO MONA. But, not like that. Seriously Mom, I promise. But Mom, wait, maybe don’t watch it anyway. Because of the blow up doll. Yep, this video is reverse PG. As in, I am guidance-ing my parent away from watching it. You should probably do the same.

My video review of the LELO MONA

Exclusive Offer!

Treat yourself to your very own Mona 2 today with this exclusive Toy With Me offer! Receive 15% off ALL Purchases at My Secret Luxury by clicking here! And get 15% off all your purchases, just use the code TWM15 at check out.

Materials :

body safe PC-ABS / silicone

Finish :

matte

Size :

200 x 51 x 33 mm

Weight :

110g

Battery :

Li-lon 500mAh 3.7V

Charging :

2 h at 5.0V 500mA

User time :

up to 4 hours

Standby :

up to 90 days

Frequency :

120 Hz

Max Noise Level :

< 50dB

Interface :

variable interface, 6 modes

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Comments

  1. Lelo’s Mona is an amazing vibrator indeed – and now I’m having color envy, because mine is red and not nearly as pretty as the purple! ;) Thanks for the very real, awesome, well-written review!

    P.S. We met briefly at BlogHer – I believe you gave me a condom lollipop? Thanks for that! :)

    • Thanks for stopping by Jenn! I am the one and only ‘lollipop’ girl. Happy you enjoyed the review and hope to see you visit again. Cheers

  2. Girl you rock!!! I love your humor!!!!

  3. I won this, and I can't wait for it to come… no I can't wait to come… I can't wait for it to come so I can come!!!!

  4. Toy with me on face book rocks! The review Nicole did on this one was awesome and if there is a toy with me contest for best vid…. I want to win this for my sweetie too! She always asks what im doing and its almost always reading these blogs lol.

    • So I suppose twitter will need activated on my sexy laptop now so I can get the fast feed and run over and log in. lol

  5. Eee I am all over this. Liked on FB because hello, is there anything better than updates about sex toys on my FB? I knew there was a reason why they blocked at work. Rats.

  6. This review is totally cute. Let's be friends.
    Also: my friends and I sometimes get drunk and try to think of Harry Potter porn names. No joke.
    Best so far:
    Harry Potter Has a Prisoner's Ass to Bang.

    Cheers!

  7. I liked TWM on the FB *and* made it one of my page's faves. I rule.

    ps
    that was the best demo video ever in the history of history!

  8. KYLECOOPER says:

    I'm waiting for the strap-on video review where you really give it to Sheila. Yeah, you thought this post couldn't get any weirder.

    Boom.

    Roasted.

  9. I "liked" Toy With Me on Facebook, and love the video!

  10. I can’t believe I didn’t ALREADY like toywithme on facebook! Jeez.
    Also, all of the “not in front of my Mom” comments give me sadface. Srsly. Maybe you could all privacy-limit Mom’s access to your profile so she can’t see your ‘actions’ for a couple days?

    WAIT! Ignore that. I’m totally going to reduce my odds of winning if I keep that up. Sheesh!

  11. LadyLover says:

    Quiet is good. Strong is even better. But my dad's on my Facebook! My mom I wouldn't mind so much, but my poor father's delicate sensitivities must be shielded from, uh, such facts of life… like his spawn's sex drive… Si-gh, how sad.

    And now I have Sweeney Todd stuck in my head.

  12. Well. FINE. If you're going to make it that easy, I suppose I have no excuse.

  13. Abracadabra orgasm!

  14. Basically I need Mona because I positively hate the vibrator I bought from Babeland last week and you know, can't return that shit after you've used it. I can't just go liking Toy With Me on Facebook, my mom in convinced I don't have sex (which lets be honest, at this point? Not having the sex), lets not ruin that for her on Facebook.

  15. Just Jen says:

    I love your reviews on the toys. You are so real, and it doesn't sound like you are reading from something. I love how honest you are!! I 'LIKE' Toy With Me on FB and hope to win this GEM!!

  16. AH-mazing.

  17. OMG u write the best stuff- really impressed Shiela likes it- although she musta like it fast :)
    Fanned ya on Facebook-just read the email and had to wander over!

  18. Oh Nicole. You perfect, hilarious woman, you.

  19. Because of this article, I am going to go home and google "Harry Potter porn"

    How could I not?

  20. I like how when you talk to the camera at first it's like I'm a child again and I'm like 'Okay Miss Nicole!' And then you put the vibrator in the fake vagina of the sex doll and I'm like 'BUT DON'T PUT IT IN SHEILA! I WOULD DO THAT ON CAMERA FOR YOU!' and clearly you make me a little bipolar but I love you and I want that thing in my face now! I mean. I mean? Hiiii!

  21. So I broke my vibrator a while back (Uh, yes, IN HALF. Don't ask.) and have been sex toy free since then. I've been digital. I need more sex toys. This much is clear.

  22. jupiterdoll says:

    I officailly in a facebook way like toy with me as well as in a I read it all the time cause I loves it way

    And I so want to win the compitition! hehe I need me one of those lol

    x

    Also the blow up doll? I love it x

  23. I like Toy with Me very much… I'm just not prepared to do it on Facebook where my Mom and coworkers hang out. Lets just keep this between us and my happy PG-13 (Sometimes R) Rated Twitter account.

  24. This was awesome. I also like Toy With Me on FB and hope this gets more than just laughs

  25. I need to upgrade from my lame, battery charged boring yet LOUD vibrator to something pretty like that. Unfortunately, I may have to dig into my grocery money…

    But mine is so 80's…I might just have to do it.